Nightmare Moon Tribute - Musical themed

[J-Rusty 57]

This is one of my most ambitious projects yet; I've spent 3 weeks just on the artwork for it.
I know having a link to click on might be too much of a hassle, so I've embedded the clip here ^w^ BLAST IT WORKED JUST FINE A MINUTE AGO! Hold on...

 

Guh... here ya go... A nice little link...
I hope you enjoy it I certainly enjoyed creating it
 

 
https://youtu.be/Drcu3qCTHzk

 

[media][/media]

Have a Scappy Nightmare Night!

Edited October 30, 2015 by J-Rusty

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

I love that avant garde feel you had in the beginning. However...your vocals need tons of work sadly. You were wobbling on certain notes and you were singing too high for the mood of this piece. I suggest you start an octave lower and sing softer. Then, if you want to build, sing a harmonized version of the melody. Because you were singing in the of c minor, you could harmonize by playing on the inversion of the c minor triad. For example, you could start on the note Eb, which leads to a harmonization melody. Then, move to the 2nd inversion, which puts G on the bottom. Finally, on the climax of the song, sing an octave up, but make sure you have control over your voice, which is what your vocals were lacking. 

 

The speed could also be slower as well, as the entire piece lost it's mood and became a regular jazz piece about Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon is a sinister character, so by having a slower tempo, it expresses that part of her personality. 

 

All in all, it's an okay piece, but it could be improved. 

[Electron 39]

You drew all those pencil pictures?     Wow. Just wow.

[J-Rusty 57]

I love that avant garde feel you had in the beginning. However...your vocals need tons of work sadly. You were wobbling on certain notes and you were singing too high for the mood of this piece. I suggest you start an octave lower and sing softer. Then, if you want to build, sing a harmonized version of the melody. Because you were singing in the of c minor, you could harmonize by playing on the inversion of the c minor triad. For example, you could start on the note Eb, which leads to a harmonization melody. Then, move to the 2nd inversion, which puts G on the bottom. Finally, on the climax of the song, sing an octave up, but make sure you have control over your voice, which is what your vocals were lacking. 

 

The speed could also be slower as well, as the entire piece lost it's mood and became a regular jazz piece about Nightmare Moon. Nightmare Moon is a sinister character, so by having a slower tempo, it expresses that part of her personality. 

 

All in all, it's an okay piece, but it could be improved. 

Woah, thank you for telling me - good somebody did ^^

I'll work on it

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Woah, thank you for telling me - good somebody did ^^

I'll work on it

No prob. Did ya have any questions about what I said in my critique?

[J-Rusty 57]

No prob. Did ya have any questions about what I said in my critique?

Nah ^^ I've studied these things if you can believe it... I'm disappointed that the people I showed it to before uploading didn't say anything; would have saved me the embarrassment :/

I did a one take test sing, and ended up using it, which I realise was a mistake. Now that I've got some criticism I can improve it ^^

[Snuggle Fiend 135]

This sounds wonderful! Such a talented artist too...