writing A Few Poems I Wrote

[Lord Pretty Pie 64]

I wrote a few poems, as the title says, and I figure where is a better place to get some constructive criticism or positive feedback than here? SO, Here goes...

 

The Mind's Rind

(Just my views on what is 'normal')

As I sit alone I find,

Others think quite differently

Their spirits are not free like me

Their minds are stuck in rinds

Why is it that they can’t see,

The way to set their spirits free,

Oh, how it must hurt for thee,

Their minds are stuck in rinds.

I can be what I want to be,

Letting my mind and spirit free,

But others, they are not like me,

Their minds are stuck in rinds.

Their Minds are stuck in Rinds, you see,

But that, it is fine by me,

I see the world differently,

My mind, it has no rind.

 

Le poème du voleur.

(Believe it or not, this one is getting published! In a book!)

I have a poem,

and it goes like this:

Give me your money,

Or I'll give you my fist!

 

Stalking You.

(Not very clear, but it's about procrastination and deadlines.)

The sight you see holds much deceit,

Human vision is incomplete.

What you see can be untrue,

There is something else out hunting you.

 

It stalks behind you and waits to pounce,

It’s watching weighs you down an ounce.

Drop your guard and you will find,

This whole time you have been blind.

 

Waste a moment and it draws near,

It can smell how much you fear.

Do not dally, here it comes,

watching, waiting, then it jumps!

 

 

Daily Faces

(About... You know... The days.)

I’m a man of many faces,

I’ve one for every day.

There's a mood for each the faces,

These I shall relay:

 

Mondays I feel Dreary,

Unkempt, upset, and slow.

Getting up is really,

Almost a mortal Blow.

 

Tuesdays are slightly better,

At least I’m now awake.

I’m still a bit the Fretter,

Some might even say a Crank.

 

Wednesdays I find kinder,

And I can find a laugh.

To pains I’m getting blinder,

The week will go in a flash.

 

Thursdays I get Antsy,

The weekend drawing near.

I think to myself with fancy,

Of the weekend’s fun and cheer.

 

Fridays I feel Happy,

Now it won’t be too long.

Soon I will be napping,

The need is getting strong.

 

Saturdays I’m Excited,

for is there a better day?

I may be a bit short sighted,

But I worry not today.

 

Sundays I am Frightened,

School will start next dawn.

The week has been relighted,

Last week has come and gone.

 

 

Shiny Head

(This one is about my favorite teacher... And how shiny his head is.)

In the world of Today,

Image distorts Easily,

But who are others that try to say,

That being bald is not okay?

 

Mr. Dimon, his head, it shines,

but why is it thought un-fine?

Do they think that it defines,

Who he is down inside?

 

A person’s looks do not reflect,

how they act like you may expect,

It’s what's inside that truly counts,

not his head which shines and shouts.

 

Dimon’s head may be bright,

But his personality is what truly shines,

In a day with him I’m sure you’d find,

That Mr. Dimon’s truly kind.

 

So of you judgemental brutes I beg,

Do not judge him by his head

Judge this man by his Mind,

That’s what makes him truly fine.

 

And there you have it. What do you think?

[Molten Arrow 6]

I very much like "The Mind's Rind" and "Stalking You"

I think the images portrayed in the former are quite clear and well placed, I like it very much.

As for the later, though the image doesn't jump right out it can be plane should one take the time to look, I like that best in a poem.

 

Very well done.

[Lord Pretty Pie 64]

I very much like "The Mind's Rind" and "Stalking You"

I think the images portrayed in the former are quite clear and well placed, I like it very much.

As for the later, though the image doesn't jump right out it can be plane should one take the time to look, I like that best in a poem.

 

Very well done.

 

Those two are my favorites as well. They were all(Except Le Poem du Voleur) done for a class, and those had less stipulations than the others, so I was able to work more freely with them. The other two had certain requirements that I was not so thrilled about, but tried to make them work anyway. They worked out ok... But I can do better. Thank you, I'm glad you liked them!

[Molten Arrow 6]

Those two are my favorites as well. They were all(Except Le Poem du Voleur) done for a class, and those had less stipulations than the others, so I was able to work more freely with them. The other two had certain requirements that I was not so thrilled about, but tried to make them work anyway. They worked out ok... But I can do better. Thank you, I'm glad you liked them!

 

Sometimes certain restrictions can help bring out more talent in someone. I had some assignments during school that had restrictions that I didn't particularly like as they didn't work with how I did things. But in hindsight I know why they did it, even if I still don't like it.

Oh well, we do what we much when certain restrictions applied and do our best no matter what.

Good job though.