Apparently, we shouldn't get married until we're at least 25

[False Perception 482]

She doesn't say that she's trying to make it so you CAN'T get married before 25, she's just advising against it. I would too...20s are for PARTYING! But, no. She's saying she was too easy to be manipulated/corrupted and thus EVERYONE here age is. According to that test, 40% weren't...so, ta-da, there's my same 'ol song an' dance, everypony.

[RockinRarity 1,605]

What I find hilarious is how A LOT of people are just down right reading the article wrong. She is saying that most people need time to grow up first (which is STATISTICALLY PROVEN). Does EVERYONE automatically become ready to marry at 25? Of course not, and no where in that article does she say that.

 

She wants to move it up to 25 years for the EXACT same reason our laws already limit it to 18. To protect the person.

 

Fair enough, but I still don't see why we should make a law banning people from getting married before the age of 25 when people can demonstrate that a successful marriage can be created if married before that age.

 

I don't think that restricting the marital age will necessarily decrease divorces. 25 is a rather arbitrary number anyways. At least with the age 18, you can say that it's because that's the same age they are a legal adult responsible for their own actions, and they will be out of high school at any time.

 

Of course people need time to grow up. But I think that by pushing the age back to 25, people will use the years between they're 18 and 25 as years they can slack off from growing up, and by the time they turn 25, they'll be even more immature than 25 year olds currently are.

 

The divorce rates are terrible. I think most everyone can agree with that. But the solution to the problem isn't a "quick fix" with the law. We have to actually be teaching people good character and not to waste their youth partying and being irresponsible, because it discourages people from growing up and taking responsibility for their own actions.

 

People's argument against her are extremely hypocritical because they assume 18 is fine and 25 is not .... same exact thing, folks ... age restriction.

 

I don't think anyone is saying that 25 is a bad age to be married. 25 is a great age to be married for some people. But for others, their great age is 22. For others, it's 31. It's different for everybody, but the one thing those people have in common is that they are all responsible adults who know what they are getting into when they say their wedding vows.

 

It was a comment based on the societal normal. Look around you ... how often does a relationship usually last before people expect you two to engage/marry? Most people think that 1 year is enough time, let alone 5.

 

Personally, I would wait for quite a few years longer, but that's just me.

 

It's not about how much time it takes to figure out if you'll get married. It's about learning about the principles behind a good marriage, if you qualify as a good marriage partner, and if you know how to express your love for one another. It is near-impossible to figure out if you're going to have a successful marriage with someone while you're still in the infatuation stage of a relationship. It takes about an average of 3 months before the warm fuzzies of a new relationship go away. After that point, it is possible to talk about marriage in a level-headed manner as long as you know the principles of a good marriage.

 

In my opinion, if it takes longer than 5 years to figure out whether or not you want to marry someone, perhaps it means that you don't want to marry them after all, not because you're not a good match with the other person, but because you're afraid of taking risks. This is the opposite problem of rushing into marriage. It's a better problem than rushing into marriage, because at least you're taking marriage seriously, but marriage is a risk. It's not just filled with fuzzies and lovey-dovey stuff. It's hard work. But the reward for that hard work is more fulfilling than the warm fuzzies.

[Otter 1,942]

Having a significant other is expensive. Not to sound like a callous douchemonkey, but I don't want to have to support another person.

[RockinRarity 1,605]

Because they are not ready. IMO.

 

I want to know why you think that.

[False Perception 482]

Actually, it's been proven that married people receive larger paychecks. Even more if they have wallet leaching hell-spawn.

[Random User 249]

She wants to move it up to 25 years for the EXACT same reason our laws already limit it to 18. To protect the person.

 

People's argument against her are extremely hypocritical because they assume 18 is fine and 25 is not .... same exact thing, folks ... age restriction.

 

Okay so then anyone 18-24 are also children.

[False Perception 482]

No bucking way. I'm smarter than my parents and bring in more money than them (mainly no taxes...^^) so I shouldn't have to be treated like a child if they're going to act like one IRL.

 

Thank the good Lord it's Canada.

[Runty 41]

More restrictions for physical age? Age and maturity are a state of mind, not time spent on earth. So if one person is immature and cannot handle marriage, how exactly does that prove another is too?The legal age should be the age which people are deemed as adults.

Also: fairies and unicorns... I have known couples in high school who were deeply in love, could i meet a unicorn now?

[False Perception 482]

Well, one isn't 60%.

More restrictions for physical age? Age and maturity are a state of mind, not time spent on earth. So if one person is immature and cannot handle marriage, how exactly does that prove another is too?The legal age should be the age which people are deemed as adults.

Also: fairies and unicorns... I have known couples in high school who were deeply in love, could i meet a unicorn now?

 

[Strife 455]

Fair enough, but I still don't see why we should make a law banning people from getting married before the age of 25 when people can demonstrate that a successful marriage can be created if married before that age.

 

I don't think that restricting the marital age will necessarily decrease divorces. 25 is a rather arbitrary number anyways. At least with the age 18, you can say that it's because that's the same age they are a legal adult responsible for their own actions, and they will be out of high school at any time.

 

Of course people need time to grow up. But I think that by pushing the age back to 25, people will use the years between they're 18 and 25 as years they can slack off from growing up, and by the time they turn 25, they'll be even more immature than 25 year olds currently are.

 

The divorce rates are terrible. I think most everyone can agree with that. But the solution to the problem isn't a "quick fix" with the law. We have to actually be teaching people good character and not to waste their youth partying and being irresponsible, because it discourages people from growing up and taking responsibility for their own actions.

 

 

 

I don't think anyone is saying that 25 is a bad age to be married. 25 is a great age to be married for some people. But for others, their great age is 22. For others, it's 31. It's different for everybody, but the one thing those people have in common is that they are all responsible adults who know what they are getting into when they say their wedding vows.

 

 

 

It's not about how much time it takes to figure out if you'll get married. It's about learning about the principles behind a good marriage, if you qualify as a good marriage partner, and if you know how to express your love for one another. It is near-impossible to figure out if you're going to have a successful marriage with someone while you're still in the infatuation stage of a relationship. It takes about an average of 3 months before the warm fuzzies of a new relationship go away. After that point, it is possible to talk about marriage in a level-headed manner as long as you know the principles of a good marriage.

 

In my opinion, if it takes longer than 5 years to figure out whether or not you want to marry someone, perhaps it means that you don't want to marry them after all, not because you're not a good match with the other person, but because you're afraid of taking risks. This is the opposite problem of rushing into marriage. It's a better problem than rushing into marriage, because at least you're taking marriage seriously, but marriage is a risk. It's not just filled with fuzzies and lovey-dovey stuff. It's hard work. But the reward for that hard work is more fulfilling than the warm fuzzies.

 

Fact: It is a statistically supported solid fact that people who marry younger have a higher chance of divorce.

 

Fact: It is a statistically supported solid fact that younger people are not as financially stable as those who are older.

 

Fact: statistically supported solid fact that younger people are not as mature as those who are older.

 

The above three facts reflect the vast majority. There are a few very rare exceptions, but remember that is the exception and is indeed rare.

 

I'm not saying that pushing the law to age 25 is some magic fix, but neither is the author. The entire point is that doing so is beneficial ... can you think of one negative thing that come out of that? If these people younger than age 25 already want to get married and are sure they have found their soul mate, then what does it matter if they simply wait a few years? They found their One, so a couple of years shouldn't matter to those truly in love, right? But it DOES matter to those that are not really in love ... it gives them time to recognize the mistake and move on without first sinking their entire emotional, financial, and legal self into a pre-conceived marriage.

 

Also, just like the age at which someone 'matures' is different, so is that time it takes to figure out if you want to marry someone. The whole thing is that society pressures young couples into early marriage by essentially expecting anyone that has been together longer than a year to commit. And that is what the author was commenting on.

 

As for the age of 18, sure it makes them a legal adult, but my point is that I can (and will) use the exact same argument that people have against it. Just because they hit the age of 18 and are now a legal adult does not mean they are magically mature and act like an adult. If you think that an age restriction of 25 is silly, then so is 18. For the exact same reason. You can't pick one and ignore the other, it doesn't work like that. Saying one is alright and the other is wrong is simply hypocritical.

Edited June 10, 2012 by Strife

[Random User 249]

As for the age of 18, sure it makes them a legal adult, but my point is that I can (and will) use the exact same argument that people have against it. Just because they hit the age of 18 and are now a legal adult does not mean they are magically mature and act like an adult. If you think that an age restriction of 25 is silly, then so is 18. For the exact same reason. You can't pick one and ignore the other, it doesn't work like that. Saying one is alright and the other is wrong is simply hypocritical.

 

Yeah but if I can legally go to prison, even if I'm not "emotionally ready", why can't I get married?

[Strife 455]

Actually, it's been proven that married people receive larger paychecks. Even more if they have wallet leaching hell-spawn.

 

I would love to see this 'proof'. Also, this is more than likely a lie. For one, even if they do make more money, the financial burden normally out weighs any potential gain.

 

 

More restrictions for physical age? Age and maturity are a state of mind, not time spent on earth. So if one person is immature and cannot handle marriage, how exactly does that prove another is too?The legal age should be the age which people are deemed as adults.

Also: fairies and unicorns... I have known couples in high school who were deeply in love, could i meet a unicorn now?

 

Yes, true, but the facts remain that the more time that passes, the more prepared the average person will be. With over a 60% rate of failure, it's obvious that people still are not mature enough to figure their shit out.

 

Also, in love does not mean prepared. Emotionally or via finances.

 

 

Yeah but if I can legally go to prison, even if I'm not "emotionally ready", why can't I get married?

 

Why can you smoke before you can drink?

 

Why can you go to prison before you can smoke?

 

That's about breaking the law, which is something entirely different.

Edited June 10, 2012 by Strife

[Random User 249]

Why can you smoke before you can drink?

 

Why can you go to prison before you can smoke?

 

That's about breaking the law, which is something entirely different.

 

It's still receiving an grown-up punishment, while not receiving an grown-up right. If the legal age to marry goes up to 25, and we're going to be treated as children, then shouldn't that also mean I still go to juvenile detention until I'm 25?

 

But seriously aren't you supposed to "find yourself" during your teenage years? 18 is just like the point in which you've been given a good amount of time to think about it. You're an adult now. If you wanna extend that time period to 25, that is your own personal choice, but it should not impede on the lives of others.

Edited June 10, 2012 by Random User

[Typhoid Libby 1,265]

I want to know why you think that.

 

Next time, save time and space and straight up ask and don't get all "opinionated" over things.

 

Have some manners gooby, there is a very real chance the quotee would just block you if you keep that up.

ditto

 

BANDWAGON WITH ONE WORD POST, WOO!

 

Because.

 

I'm 25 and I'm mature as fuck in real life.

Not on internet, tho, cause that's just lame being all mature and shit.

Grown-ups are fuck-ups and what not.

 

And I'm not mature enough to have long lasting relationship, I got no mental issues about "daddy" or something that would make me abnormal in my relationships. In fact, I get around if you know what I mean, I don't cheat nor do I trade partners every year if I commit.

 

Marriage? I'm still in studies, no job I'd like to call permanent and I can't ensure a safe, continued above average welfare for myself, much less to my partner/family.

 

Anyone under my age is either in the same pit, or never took advanced classes and is doing a dead-end job with bare minimum of wage with minimal hope of getting a better job with a wife/husband that does not work at all and is expected to provide sustenance, not for two people but for the offspring too, that equation will cause fucktons of stress and shouting. Inb4 divorce.

 

Marriage is pretty much the only thing I would care to call sacred in this fucked up world.

Having 20 year old's getting married because they are "In love" is just pissing on the concept of long term agreement to Love whether in the Pits of Hell or in the Kingdom of Heaven, come what may.

You need to actually to be able to know about life until you know what it entails.

Anyone under 30 is not ready, not by a long shot.

It's life-term agreement to someone that will cause shitton of stress and something that will kill your and your companions personal privacy and income, not a mutual piss-fest to get a ring because it was shiny and sex feels good.

 

"Until Death Do Us Part" has meaning to me and that meaning is "Until Death Do Us Part".

 

Now shadap about kids getting married.

[KakeiTheWolf 652]

The best way to put this is that marrying just out of love is idiotic. Marriage is not cheap, nor is anything that comes with it. And if children are involved, you need a decent job.

 

Many people divorce because of the fact their marriage was based on hasty decisions made based on temporary feelings. These feelings fade, and once monetary trouble comes, they jump ship to save themselves.

[Strife 455]

It's still receiving an grown-up punishment, while not receiving an grown-up right. If the legal age to marry goes up to 25, and we're going to be treated as children, then shouldn't that also mean I still go to juvenile detention until I'm 25?

 

But seriously aren't you supposed to "find yourself" during your teenage years? 18 is just like the point in which you've been given a good amount of time to think about it. You're an adult now. If you wanna extend that time period to 25, that is your own personal choice, but it should not impede on the lives of others.

 

The problem people have is the silly notion of 18 being a magical number where you're an adult.

 

By your logic, then people who are 18 should also be able to drink alcohol? Should be able to be President? Be able to have a seat in Congress?

 

Hell no. And this matter is no different.

 

Also, people seem to find it far too easy to ignore my point "what is one negative thing that would come out of raising the age restriction to 25?"

 

I can't think of one. Tons of things that would be beneficial for it, but nothing negative.

[KakeiTheWolf 652]

Honestly, 25 actually seems good. It's more time that people have to be able to control their impulses and make better decisions.

[Random User 249]

The problem people have is the silly notion of 18 being a magical number where you're an adult.

 

By your logic, then people who are 18 should also be able to drink alcohol? Should be able to be President? Be able to have a seat in Congress?

 

Hell no. And this matter is no different.

 

Also, people seem to find it far too easy to ignore my point "what is one negative thing that would come out of raising the age restriction to 25?"

 

I can't think of one. Tons of things that would be beneficial for it, but nothing negative.

 

Yes, I actually do believe that the alcohol restriction should be lowered to 18 thank you very much.

 

As for the president, I honestly don't even care about who's president any longer. America is not going to last much longer under a system of democracy. That's an entirely different argument, though.

 

18 isn't a magical number by any means, you are supposed to figure out life sometime between 14-18. If you don't find it out by then, then you just aren't very perceptive. At 18 you've been given plenty of time to think about things.

 

And while you think nothing negative could come of the whole deal, raising the age promotes people to take longer to figure out what they're doing to become productive, and also it impedes on what is commonly agreed to be a civil liberty.

[KakeiTheWolf 652]

Yes, I actually do believe that the alcohol restriction should be lowered to 18 thank you very much.

 

As for the president, I honestly don't even care about who's president any longer. Amareica is not going to last much longer under a system of democracy. That's an entirely different argument, though.

 

18 isn't a magical number by any means, you are supposed to figure out life sometime between 14-18. If you don't find it out by then, then you just aren't very perceptive. At 18 you've been given plenty of time to think about things.

 

And while you think nothing negative could come of the whole deal, raising the age promotes ponies to take longer to figure out what they're doing to become productive, and also it impedes on what is commonly agreed to be a civil liberty.

 

Honestly, I'm all for the drinking age thing, but that's because I want to drown my misery in alchohol.

 

But really, just because something is commonly agreed on does mean it is right. Take lemmings for example. They are the absolute epitome of the stupidity of conformity. They all go in a direction in a big herd, and they keep running until they fall off a cliff or drown. They have no cognizance for safety or well being, and will follow what all the others are doing until they all die. Now, that's not really the kind of model we want to follow, is it? Why should we continuously follow whatever is popular? Eventually, an idea goes south and it will crash and burn. But humankind keeps doing just this anyway, ignoring the consequences. Like lemmings.

 

Stupidity should not be encouraged, rewarded, or embraced. It's what causes ALL of humanities problems.

[Strife 455]

Yes, I actually do believe that the alcohol restriction should be lowered to 18 thank you very much.

 

As for the president, I honestly don't even care about who's president any longer. America is not going to last much longer under a system of democracy. That's an entirely different argument, though.

 

18 isn't a magical number by any means, you are supposed to figure out life sometime between 14-18. If you don't find it out by then, then you just aren't very perceptive. At 18 you've been given plenty of time to think about things.

 

And while you think nothing negative could come of the whole deal, raising the age promotes people to take longer to figure out what they're doing to become productive, and also it impedes on what is commonly agreed to be a civil liberty.

 

What magical reason do you have for the assertion that you have to have your entire life figured out by age 18? That's before people even get into college and finish an education, much less fully mature and figure out who they are.

 

lol no, people already take a while to grow up and figure their life out, and that will never change. So no, changing the legal age to marry to 25 will not "take people even longer". It will give them the time they need, instead of them making huge mistakes early on and being screwed for life.

 

 

As for alcohol, there are severe health reasons for the current age restriction, but that is a discussion for elsewhere.

 

While I do agree with the fact that people are free to make their own stupid mistakes, that isn't any excuse to simply let people constantly ruin their lives. I could just as easily argue that suicide should be my civil liberty ... but yet again, a discussion not for this thread.

[Random User 249]

Honestly, I'm all for the drinking age thing, but that's because I want to drown my misery in alchohol.

 

But really, just because something is commonly agreed on does mean it is right. Take lemmings for example. They are the absolute epitome of the stupidity of conformity. They all go in a direction in a big herd, and they keep running until they fall off a cliff or drown. They have no cognizance for safety or well being, and will follow what all the others are doing until they all die. Now, that's not really the kind of model we want to follow, is it? Why should we continuously follow whatever is popular? Eventually, an idea goes south and it will crash and burn. But humankind keeps doing just this anyway, ignoring the consequences. Like lemmings.

 

Stupidity should not be encouraged, rewarded, or embraced. It's what causes ALL of humanities problems.

 

Well, each individual's views on civil liberties are highly, highly subjective. Most people seem to agree that marriage should be legal at 18, and majority rules. In a system of democracy, if a majority does not agree on something then nothing will get done. If one has an issue with getting married before 25, they have the choice to wait if they so please. I do not understand why it's troublesome if the age is still 18, just as Strife does not see an issue with the age remaining at 25. Of course I don't think everyone should follow the crowd, but I believe they should be sentient enough to make responsible decisions at 18.

 

If I supported agreeing with the crowd, I highly doubt I'd be a brony.

 

 

 

 

What magical reason do you have for the assertion that you have to have your entire life figured out by age 18? That's before people even get into college and finish an education, much less fully mature and figure out who they are.

 

lol no, people already take a while to grow up and figure their life out, and that will never change. So no, changing the legal age to marry to 25 will not "take people even longer". It will give them the time they need, instead of them making huge mistakes early on and being screwed for life.

 

 

As for alcohol, there are severe health reasons for the current age restriction, but that is a discussion for elsewhere.

 

While I do agree with the fact that people are free to make their own stupid mistakes, that isn't any excuse to simply let people constantly ruin their lives. I could just as easily argue that suicide should be my civil liberty ... but yet again, a discussion not for this thread.

 

People go to colleges to further a basic education of things into a direction they want to go in life. That's why they have art colleges, or colleges that focus on engineering, or programming computers.

 

If you need more time after 18, by all means take it. It's still there with or without the marriage restriction.

 

Suicide is of one's own free will. I hate it when people claim that those that want to off themselves are selfish. I think those people are selfishly forcing that person to live, so I would agree to your argument of suicide being a civil liberty anyways.

 

EDIT: Just a second thought, but you also seem to think I mean one day *poof* you know everything ever. That's not what I mean. I think that between the ages of 14-18 you gradually figure out where you're gonna end up going in life.

Edited June 10, 2012 by Random User

[The Milkman 186]

That's bullshit... anyone can get married when they want to.

[Tenshinohana 264]

I see this both as a bad thing and a good thing. The good thing is that individuals would probably have more time to see and discover themselves before heading into marriage... But then again people are individualsand some might feel prepared even when they're younger. But then again young minds don't always see it clearly. "Love can make you blind", as the old phrase says.

 

But I find it silly what the writer there said n the beginning. "Met Him when she was 19, married when 24". .... And that's her reasoning why not before 25? Oh golly. She knew the guy for years... Usually people see things in that time, and what age you are won't make the difference.

 

To bo honest, I probably wouldn't care even if people should be 25 to marry. There are many under 25 year-olds who make irrational decisions and get married in a year. But maybe I'd care more if I'd be in a situation like this...

[Zoop 8,384]

you are supposed to figure out life sometime between 14-18.

So... you're supposed to have life completely figured out within the first - roughly - 20% of your (assuming American) life expectancy? I don't really see it. Life isn't that simple that some precious little snowflake that's still in the midst of high school is going to have everything figured out, despite what he or she may think.

 

As for the topic at hand... the twenty-five to thirty range seems a good choice to me; it'd force people to go out and live their life in the real world for a while before they start thinking about joining their life with another's. Ultimately though, if people want to rush on into things, it's none of my business.

[RockinRarity 1,605]

And while you think nothing negative could come of the whole deal, raising the age promotes people to take longer to figure out what they're doing to become productive, and also it impedes on what is commonly agreed to be a civil liberty.

 

This is the logical reason why I am against raising the age to 25. I did mention this in one of my earlier posts. It must have gotten conveniently glossed over.

 

The general reason why people would be against raising the age is because they want to be able to get married sooner because they know that they're ready. They don't want some new law to be made to inconvenience the people who do things right. If the divorce rates for young people were more like 90%, then I can see reason to change the law. But 60% is too close to the actual divorce rate in the nation, and probably doesn't make up for the majority of divorces anyways.

 

I'm trying to find a primary source that gets into the divorce rates by age, but... I'm not having very much luck. They're all secondary sources. The link that Nagy gave is from the Chicago Tribune and it lists sources, but the actual webpages that contain the statistics. I tried searching on these websites, but I haven't found any age-related rates yet. I want to be able to look at the statistics and see if the numbers are even correct, and what the rates are for people over the age 25.

 

Also, just like the age at which someone 'matures' is different, so is that time it takes to figure out if you want to marry someone. The whole thing is that society pressures young couples into early marriage by essentially expecting anyone that has been together longer than a year to commit. And that is what the author was commenting on.

 

I've... never gotten the impression that society pressures young people to marry as fast as they can. I'm rather under the impression that people think that even 25 is too young to be married for whatever arbitrary reasons they may have.

 

But I suppose it's different depending on the area you live. Some places practically tell people that if they don't get married before they graduate college, they'll fail at life (okay, not really, but given the number of people around those areas who marry before they graduate college...) Whereas in other places, such as where I live, hardly anyone gets married before they're 25 anyways.

 

As for the age of 18, sure it makes them a legal adult, but my point is that I can (and will) use the exact same argument that people have against it. Just because they hit the age of 18 and are now a legal adult does not mean they are magically mature and act like an adult. If you think that an age restriction of 25 is silly, then so is 18. For the exact same reason. You can't pick one and ignore the other, it doesn't work like that. Saying one is alright and the other is wrong is simply hypocritical.

 

I agree with you that just because you turn 18, it doesn't mean that you magically become a mature adult. If that were true, then why would we even be having this discussion about marriage?

 

But all that means is that you're allowed to do things without your parents' consent, along with a couple other benefits. You are no longer legally bound to do what your parents say. Heck, if you wanted to get married before you turned 18, all you had to do was get mom and dad's permission. Does that mean that if the marriage age were to be raised, we would have to get mom and dad's permission to marry younger than that, when we're not legally bound to do what they say in any other way? At least drinking under 21 is illegal under all accounts (except during religious ceremonies). Marriage would be a trickier one to deal with if there is already a law saying that you can get married before you're 18.

 

But I find it silly what the writer there said n the beginning. "Met Him when she was 19, married when 24". .... And that's her reasoning why not before 25? Oh golly. She knew the guy for years... Usually people see things in that time, and what age you are won't make the difference.

 

That and the "fairies and unicorns" comment are what turn me off about this article. She makes a legit point underneath the bitterness, but the bitterness is quite difficult to ignore, and it makes it harder to take her point seriously.