writing Dreams

[Derpy.H 177]

Dreams,

Something we all have.

It can be joyful,

It can be sad.

 

But no matter what,

You always know.

You will have that feeling,

That it will be okay in the end.

 

Dreams,

They imitate life.

We can change it,

We can keep it the same.

 

But no matter what,

You will always know.

It will be the same,

Right at the end.

 

(I know it is bad, but I had to write this. It gave me a chance to put out a bit of my inner feelings.)

[Inkfeather 597]

I think it's nice enough. How often do you write this kind of thing?

 

Some critic: It sounds more like a statement than poesy, working with the play of words would help.

 

The idea and emotions put into it is very nice though.

[Derpy.H 177]

I write these type of things every now and again.

 

I try to play with the words but I can never quite end up getting them right in the end, sadly enough.

 

And thanks for the final comment!

 

Thank you for your feedback.

[Inkfeather 597]

If you take it visually, try to let the words "swim". Let them flow.

 

At first write what you feel then rework into a poetic view. That's how i work atleast, it might help you.

[Derpy.H 177]

Thanks for the advice, Lamii. I appreciate it.

[Inkfeather 597]

Thanks for the advice, Lamii. I appreciate it.

 

No problem mate, I'll always want to help out a fellow poet in need. Hope you practise and get all the emotions out. Every word should have a meening!

[D1SC0RD 987]

Writing is a marvelous way to lighten the load on one's heart.

 

It's well written. Good job

 

I hope you feel a little happier now.

 

If there's ever something you need to get off your chest, or even if you just need to vent, don't be shy to sens me a message.

[pondus30 152]

Nice

[Derpy.H 177]

Writing is a marvelous way to lighten the load on one's heart.

 

It's well written. Good job

 

I hope you feel a little happier now.

 

If there's ever something you need to get off your chest, or even if you just need to vent, don't be shy to sens me a message.

 

Thank you! ^^

 

 

 

 

Nice

 

Thanks alot for the comment!

Edited December 24, 2011 by DJ Santa RDerpyD Claus