fan fiction Brendan finally snaps - a pokemon fanfic

[Ghastchip 33]

Despite me not being a brilliant writer, or good at english (I've read some books by george rr martin and jk rowling in english, but It took weeks) sometimes I decide to write in english, usually when I'm playing a game and an ideia comes to me, this is one of those, if anyone has played pokemon emerald (and who hasn't?) then you'll know about Scott, for some reason he always seemed a little bit annoying to me, so I was starting a new playtrough (not a recorded one) and I was doing it at the same time as the Pokemon Emerald let's play by chuggaaconroy (don't forget the extra A) and I made this, hope you enjoy!

 

 

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8097099/1/Brendan_finally_snaps

 

Thank you for your time!

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

Not too bad. Its a pretty funny seeing Brendan's reaction to his mishearing of Scott's speech. You should have gone more in depth and actually took us to where Brendan sees Wally again, since it is mentioned in the story.

Just need to work on your English some more so it can be easier to comprehend, as it is rampant of English grammar mistakes with a few spelling as well.

 

Overall, I would say its decent! A really good try since English isn't your first language, but also really short and lacking in story.