writing My Novel: First Impressions, Anyone?

[Master Chief 184]

Today I came up with an idea for a novel by looking at this:

 

 

Here's what I have for the intro:

 

The raindrops splattered on my window as I felt the pane. The world never did appreciate me… You know bad luck and all. I was that much either. I’m not particularly athletic, intelligent, popular, or sexy. Over the past few months I have been contemplating suicide.

Three years ago my mother died, followed by my father committing suicide a few weeks after. So, I moved over to the US where my Aunt and Uncle lived. Believe me, being a British girl from North Yorkshire living in New York City isn’t easy. I am bullied a lot in High School because I “talk funny” or because I’m obsessed with electricity.

Soon, depression began settling in. My uncle started having heart problems and my aunt’s blood pressure rose extremely every time he made a noise. A violent divorce broke out between them, leaving my uncle dead of a heart attack three weeks ago. My aunt hasn’t stopped crying since.

Tonight I had plans, but of course the world stopped me. I felt like a burden. My aunt can’t afford to feed me or clothe me and the teachers all hate me. I have no friends and no life. Tonight… I was going to hang myself.

After thinking about my life for half an hour, I decided to just brave it through the storm and go outside. I grabbed the rope on my dresser and unlocked my window. I climbed out slowly, knowing that this was the last time I would be indoors.

I put my hood up and looked up and down the street for a good tall tree. I found one about thirty feet down the street and went to my backyard to grab a stepping stool.

But, when I came back around front, a strong pulsating sensation flew through my body from head to toe. Then, I felt my hairs stand up. A strong shriek of horror escaped my mouth. My life flashed before my eyes… and I saw something more. I didn’t want to go now! But, it was too late. My eyes rolled over and my body hit the ground limp…

 

 

 

 

So, what do you guys think?

[~Muffin of Chaos~ 184]

Pretty good I haven't really read alot of novels before, but I think this one is really good! Really really really really good!

[Nenni 27]

Wow dude that was dark and depressing start....

 

However I am intrigued to see where this is heading so please continue to write and keep up the good work!

[Master Chief 184]

Thank you! In case you haven't noticed, it is sort-of a super-human story.That's all I'm going to say for now... *smugface*

But I have to give some credit to the artist of that photo. It inspired a whole book!

 

Wow dude that was dark and depressing start....

 

However I am intrigued to see where this is heading so please continue to write and keep up the good work!

 

Pretty good I haven't really read alot of novels before, but I think this one is really good! Really really really really good!

 

Thank you! In case you haven't noticed, it is sort-of a super-human story.That's all I'm going to say for now... *smugface*

But I have to give some credit to the artist of that photo. It inspired a whole book!

Edited September 1, 2012 by Rainbow Dash G4

[Lost 1,411]

I agree, it is rather dark but its good dude, you should keep writing it, maybe you should consider your audience before you continue thought, while the intro is dark it could be read by someone around the age of 15ish, get any darker or more descriptive then you'll be aiming for a higher age bracket.

[Master Chief 184]

I agree, it is rather dark but its good dude, you should keep writing it, maybe you should consider your audience before you continue thought, while the intro is dark it could be read by someone around the age of 15ish, get any darker or more descriptive then you'll be aiming for a higher age bracket.

 

After this it tends to be slightly more focused on action. But, the characters background will matter a lot in Charged: Crack of Thunder (Yes, I'm already planning a sequel LOL). Still dunno her name yet. Suggestions?

[Lost 1,411]

After this it tends to be slightly more focused on action. But, the characters background will matter a lot in Charged: Crack of Thunder (Yes, I'm already planning a sequel LOL). Still dunno her name yet. Suggestions?

 

You could go down the route of naming her after one of the gods of thunder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_thunder_gods) if you find a male name you like, just swap out a few letters and make it sound female

[Master Chief 184]

You could go down the route of naming her after one of the gods of thunder (http://en.wikipedia....of_thunder_gods) if you find a male name you like, just swap out a few letters and make it sound female

 

Hey, that could work! I am giving you an invisible muffin! I did come across a name that I don't like for her but for the story. Helldandy, the sister of Urd. So, instead of Charged, it gets a weird anime name that is Helldandy! Infinite muffins to you, good sir!

 

*Update*

Her name is now officially Tonitrui! What you said inspired me to do somethings in latin since I couldn't find any good sounding lightening goddesses. Though for this name to work, I have to mess around with some cannon stuff. Tonitrui means "thunder"... So someone has to be lightning. Preferably her predecessor. Let's PM so thoughts back and forth, eh?

Edited September 1, 2012 by Rainbow Dash G4

[Lost 1,411]

Hey, that could work! I am giving you an invisible muffin! I did come across a name that I don't like for her but for the story. Helldandy, the sister of Urd. So, instead of Charged, it gets a weird anime name that is Helldandy! Infinite muffins to you, good sir!

 

*Update*

Her name is now officially Tonitrui! What you said inspired me to do somethings in latin since I couldn't find any good sounding lightening goddesses. Though for this name to work, I have to mess around with some cannon stuff. Tonitrui means "thunder"... So someone has to be lightning. Preferably her predecessor. Let's PM so thoughts back and forth, eh?

 

Awesome, glad that i helped you get the ball rolling, sure feel free to PM me any thoughts you have but forgive me if i don't respond straight away, it is 4:30 am here after all

 

But i will be glad to help you with this, its the perfect way to procrastinate from continuing with my own book

[Nenni 27]

Hey just a random question will you be updating the novel in this thread or will you be uploading it on a separate thread or somewhere else? As mentioned before looking forward to the story!

[Master Chief 184]

Hey just a random question will you be updating the novel in this thread or will you be uploading it on a separate thread or somewhere else? As mentioned before looking forward to the story!

 

**UPDATE* The official story thread can now be found here: http://mlpforums.com/topic/31236-helldandy-official-thread-story-updates/

So far, Chapter One is half-way through production. Due to lack of time, I have been restricted to writing short chapters. But there will be many.

Edited September 1, 2012 by Rainbow Dash G4