Request for editor / proof-readers: For the Love of the Game

[PlunderSteed 1,252]

Hi guys.  A couple days ago I woke up at 2 in the morning, with a dream fresh in my mind.  It involved a water gun fight and ponies watching football.  After laying there for a while, the story pretty much pieced itself together in my mind.  I'm in the process of writing it all down right now, but I would like a little proof-reading help from the community.  If you're interested, please drop a response in this thread, or just PM me.

 

For reference, this story is expected to be medium-short-ish in length: about 5 chapters, or about 10,000 words total.  Expect the tags listed in this thread's title.  There will be blood, but no gratuitous violence is currently planned.  The "mature" tag is for a somewhat graphic scene, fleshing out the "trust" and "betrayal" balance between some characters.  This one will be a bit lighter, and will feature a lot more character development than my last fic.

 

Thanks for your help.

 

UPDATE:

 

As new chapters become ready for proof-reading, I'll update the links in this post.  For everybody else, please consider it a work in progress.  I won't submit it to any major sites until I've had a chance to go over the feedback/recommendations with whoever is helping.

 

And in case anybody is wondering, yes this story apparently shares a title with a 90's film.  There is no direct connection, though they both use sports as a backdrop and metaphor for life's deeper challenges.  My story isn't really about sports at all, though.

 

Fair warning: the first couple chapters are fairly light-hearted, but shit gets real soon after that.

 

Chapters ready for review:

Chapter 1: A Game of Hoofball

Chapter 2: A Game of Tag

Chapter 3: A Game of Fire (almost ready)

Edited January 3, 2013 by NLR Information Minister