Christian bronies: meet, greet, and mingle!

[Inactive01 5,299]

I must warn you... my testimony is extremely long... I already you my tl;dr version on my previous post. Now it's time I had my testimony fitted with music.

 

My testimony: “Piano Concerto no. 2 in c minor”: The transformation of my life.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSJdLkN8Ki4

First movement.

June 2015. It was the culmination of a world that finally crashed down on me. Every pillar of my life was collapsing on my head, from research to relationships. I couldn’t stand… I couldn’t talk… I couldn’t breathe. It felt like the bells of death were ringing on my head… and about to sound my own death. In a way, it truly did. Most of my heart felt numb and empty. I couldn’t find myself anywhere in the world because everything was falling apart.

 

It all started at the end of April. I was just going to store my bacterial cultures after boiling glycerol in the microwave. The solution looked very steamy, but I thought things were going to be ok… So I took the solution out with my glove-covered hands. Little did I know… the solution was superheated. When I nudged the glass bottle just a little bit, the solution jumped out of the bottle and onto my hand. It was a very painful moment, so excruciating that I was inside the abyss. I witnessed the skin on my right hand peeling off as I writhed in pain, struggling to even call 911… When I finally did, the emergency crew arrived and took me straight to the urgent care centre where I had my wounds treated. I couldn’t play music nor conduct any experiments for 3 weeks, and I had this throbbing pain on my hand that refused to go away for 2 weeks.

 

As painful as the experience was, it was a physical pain I could handle. I thought that was going to be the end of my pain. Little did I know… the pain was only beginning. Deep down, I had a deep fear. A fear that refused to go away no matter how hard I tried. It was a fear of losing the dearest friends I had in my life. It was a fear that my friends would betray me or just throw me away like a garbage pile, ready to be crunched away to the dump.

 

The pain kept growing… until May 31^st… When one of my closest friends had suddenly removed me from all his friends lists. He promised that he’d never leave me. He said he loved me like his brother… the worst part was that we roleplayed together on the forums, and discussed everything. We trusted each other, and we helped each other in Christ… or so I thought. I thought that I could once again handle this pain. Let’s keep it in I thought. Let’s pretend that this didn’t hurt me at all I thought. Let’s believe that I could move forward with my own strength I thought.   

 

But that was impossible. May 31^st, 2015 is a day I will never forget. The removal of his friendship with me was the fulfillment of my fears. I was right. I could never hold down a lasting friendship. Everyone was going to betray me. Everyone hated me, even God. I held that anger inside me and let it build. Then, my closest friend came online to talk with me as we always did. She was always there to make my days better. She was my sunshine on a cloudy day. She was my foothold in a world that grew more and more cruel each day. Best of all, she knew how to turn my sad face into a smile. She was going to make everything fine! But I was wrong…

 

Our conversation quickly derailed. I was talking about meeting her this summer as my family considered travelling to the state she lived in. She was very excited about seeing me, and I was very excited about seeing her. But when she asked the city I’d visit for the holiday, she said it would be impossible to meet her… her enthusiasm quickly faded Things began to unfold from there. Why didn’t she want to try? Why didn’t she care enough? That’s when I mentioned DJ… my anger only grew. I began a tirade where I told her that there was no such thing as long-lasting friendships. She began questioning me as to why I believed that, which only made my anger worse. Why wasn’t she understanding like she used to be? Why didn’t she care that I was angry at the world? I then went on an emotional rampage. “I was silenced all my life. You have so much! What makes you think you can understand what I’m going through?!” At that moment… Lincoln couldn’t take it anymore. She took a few minutes to think before she said… “I think I need to go now.”

 

Her words echo in my heart even now. My heart crumbled. I got mad at the last person I’d get mad at. I snapped at the one girl who truly cared and understood me. I punched her in the face with my words… The next day, she blocked me from all her social sites while keeping her Gmail and MLPF friendship. The keeping part didn’t matter. I was blocked. I could only cry heavy tears and sulk as I wondered… Just what the hell happened?

 

For the next two weeks, I had to pick up all the pieces on my own. My whole heart was broken. The only thing I was capable of doing was cry on the piano and be left confused as to whether Lincoln would ever come back… whether my experiments would ever get working again… and whether my wounds would ever get healed. I tried to find answers, even by praying to God. But nothing was working. I couldn’t take the pain away… I couldn’t patch myself back together. It felt like God wasn’t helping either… I was alone in a pit of darkness, as more and more of my friends got sick of me worrying about my situation…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzuD5hveXuM

Second movement.

The only thing I could do now… was to cry out to God for help. I kept crying out from my bed… “God, help me! I am nothing now! You’ve brought me to my lowest point! I am not even dust! I can’t do anything right!” I went to my bed in deep sadness, wondering whether I’d ever get healed. I heard my friends telling me to cling to God all the more and my parents scolding me for being so emotionally invested in a girl I never met… a girl who I cared for so much. But I couldn’t understand what they meant. How on Earth was I going to ever find God? That was the prevailing thought I had in my mind. I tried reading the Bible and praying to God constantly, but I found no answer…

 

That was until early the next morning… While I was asleep, I saw Lincoln… Her soft voice and smiling face. I saw her but a brief moment, but I heard myself ask her, “Lincoln… are we ever going to be friends again?” Lincoln replied, “Paul… one conflict will not destroy our friendship…” That was the last of her… or so I thought. Before then, I felt my heart being wrenched and pulled. I began tumbling around in my sleep… My heart was trying to tell me something… It could hear Lincoln’s voice again… and its message I still remember.

 

“Paul… you hurt me so much when you said those things… Why did you say them? Why did you hurt me? But that’s not the point. God told me to tell you three things you had to do… First, He wants you to stop worrying about me this week… Second, He wants you to stop talking to your friends about me… And finally… the most important thing… He wants you to cling to Him for all your needs, as your friends told you. Hold on to Him… He loves you. If you make a good start at these things this week, maybe we can talk again…”

 

After she said those things, my heart stopped wrenching about… She left. I quickly awoke, wondering just what on Earth I dreamt. I prayed to God once again about it. Once I did, something in me started to change. I suddenly felt less of a need to worry about Lincoln. I felt less of a need to constantly talk to my friends about my fears. And I suddenly felt a greater need to cling to God and seek His wisdom in all I did…

 

Over the next week, I reread the Bible with a much more open heart. I searched for verses that preached the sins I committed… I had let the sun down on my anger, had completely forgotten I Corinthians 13, and completely discarded James 4 from my heart… oh how the tongue is our strongest, yet most poisonous weapon. It is like the Grim Reaper, bringing death to all those it victimizes when uncontrolled. I began praying to God for forgiveness. All this time, I blamed God, my experiences with verbal bullying, and my inability to keep friendships for my condition. In reality, I had a deep sin that I never confronted properly: I had little self-control. Little faith. Little gratitude.

 

I begged to God for forgiveness, realizing now the full extent of my sins. I had done what many others couldn’t do: go against the Bible in almost every way conceivable. As I kept crying my tears and lamenting the sins I committed, I also began to read other Bible verses. These Bible verses were different. They were verses of hope and of courage… Two passage that struck me in particular were Romans 8:31-39…

 

What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? ³² He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? ³³ Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.³⁴ Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ³⁶ As it is written:

 

“For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”^[j]

 

³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

And Hebrews 12:6: “For the LORD disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

 

Even though I faced the full extent of my consequences as a sinner, God helped me through it. He told me everything I did wrong and how I could change. He also gave me words of assurance, because God’s love covered a multitude of sins. It was these verses that pushed me onward towards the goal. With each passing day, it was difficult for me to stop worrying about the future and feeling guilty about my sins. But at the same time, I was also reminded of James 1:2-4:

 

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

 

I was forced to persevere onward without all my crutches: relationships, physical ability, and intellectual understanding. I was guided to lean on God and persevere towards the end. Whenever I felt down, I was always reminded that those who hope in the Lord shall renew their strength, and that trusting in God will help me see that all my paths are made straight because of God. I had a new crutch now. It’s an everlasting crutch, one that told me to rely on Christ Jesus for everything. The idea was perpetuated even further when a glass flask exploded after being introduced to too much pressure during an experiment my lab mate was performing. I was at the scene just before the explosion, but I felt a random urge to leave. When I returned, I was far enough away from the flask to just see it explode. It was God protecting me from even more physical pain… Even better yet, I began to realize just how lucky I was that my burnt hand was healing so well. I didn’t need any bandages anymore, and I never had a single bacterial infection case the 6 weeks I was on bandages. My meditation in God and the reading of His Word lifted me. God was being my ultimate friend this whole time. What did I have to fear about friendships? I already have God. It was time for me to go out there and show the world that I’m a changed man…

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8mKsNTh4Kw

Final movement:

June 26^th, 2015… I finally finished the challenge. With each passing day, I felt stronger and stronger. I felt more empowered by God to face the problems I was having with my experiments. I was feeling calmer about my situation with Lincoln. And my hand continued to heal. But something was still missing… Lincoln. My best friend was probably still angry at me… still very hurt and confused at what she witnessed the fateful night I snapped. I looked back to that day with such sadness and regret. Even now, I wondered what would have happened if I had never snapped. Sure I’d have not experienced this amazing change in my life, but I still loved Lincoln as a best friend.

 

I recalled once again all the moments I shared with Lincoln. Rhapsody in Blue: the roleplay. The longest active 1 on 1 roleplay on this side of MLPForums. Us laughing and crying at the best moments of an internet comic we both loved to read. Us supporting each other when we were facing our lows. The times I sent her cards just to encourage her (the cards part I continued to do, as I sent her a card on her email saying how sorry I was for snapping at her). I missed them all, even after God helped me change. I then decided to ask God about Lincoln… I felt my heart being told the following as I kept going with my life:

 

“Paul… I know you miss Lincoln a lot. I know how much you care and love her. You two share a lot in common, and you felt a bond growing together even with the distance you shared. It’s because of that bond that I had to let you see… that you were forgetting me this whole time. I let you and Lincoln enjoy each other, and you forgot that. You could only see Lincoln in your friendship.

 

But I have seen the changes you are making. You still have a long way to go, but you’re making wonderful progress. I know you feel terrible about hurting one of your best friends. But Paul… leave her to me… I will help her. If you truly love her, you will leave her to me. I will guide her through her own emotions as well.”

 

The whole message wasn’t spoken to me all at once. It was small bits of it that appeared at different times through the days. But they were enough to keep me going. I was always expecting her to never come back, since I knew that she ran away from and became indifferent towards the people who hurt her the most. But then July 1^st came around… After 2 weeks… Lincoln finally read the ecard I sent her! My apology was finally read! Lincoln was thinking about me too! It was certain! She had an email account made just for me through the years, and she finally came back! Sure she didn’t reply yet, but I just knew that she read it! Things were finally turning around for me!

 

I still haven’t heard from Lincoln yet, but I could see that God was guiding me through this whole process… I end with what a friend of mine told me while I was still suffering:

 

“God’s timing is not our timing. His timing is always perfect. You must cling to Him in all that you do. Only then will you find peace.”

It’s these words that have kept on giving me strength, even if things don’t go the way I expect and if Lincoln hasn’t fully come around yet. Even if my experiments don’t work. And even if I don’t know where I’ll go and how capable and independent I’ll be. Because God is there. He transformed me and moulded me into a stronger person.

 

Praise God through whom all blessings flow. He has lifted me. Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Hallelujah.

 

PS. I’ll update you on how things with Lincoln go. No matter the ending, I know now: God is in control.

Edited July 3, 2015 by Pony On The Shore

[Inactive01 5,299]

 

Here's an addendeum to my testimony. The story behind one of my favourite hymns is here. I just listened to it now and it's helped me trust God all the more in my and Lincoln's suffering.

Edited July 5, 2015 by Pony On The Shore

[Steel Accord 6,660]

So let me ask you something, my friends. Do you guys ever feel threatened by anti-theists?

[I used to be a stranger 7,993]

Not very.

I mean ultimately we know the score in the end, and literally everything they could do to threaten us does nothing.

Sometimes they can be unkind or pickle-headed but dealing with that is a matter of experience. The hardest part is remaining courteous and always hoping for the chance that maybe they'll see a bit of light. Plus, skepticism is a helpful tool for reminding us of the edifying tools which are already present in the Gospel.

Edited July 9, 2015 by Blue

[Steel Accord 6,660]

Not very.

I mean ultimately we know the score in the end, and literally everything they could do to threaten us does nothing.

Sometimes they can be unkind or pickle-headed but dealing with that is a matter of experience. The hardest part is remaining courteous and always hoping for the chance that maybe they'll see a bit of light. Plus, skepticism is a helpful tool for reminding us of the edifying tools which are already present in the Gospel.

 

You're right but you can understand why speaking with someone who claims they would have armed men storm my house, search for religious iconography, and have me arrested for possessing it might make me feel more than a little uneasy.

[Sunwalker 981]

So let me ask you something, my friends. Do you guys ever feel threatened by anti-theists?

 

Feeling threatened? Most of the times, no. I wouldn't call it often, but there were some circumstances (both online and offline) in which I needed to steep and make an defense for my faith against some dismissive statement that someone made. These people most of the time have no ill-intent and don't realize that they have steeped in your toes until you point it out. I am good with sorting these things out respectfully and effectively, so I presume this is the reason I don't usually feel threatened, but even when someone does know how to defend himself it might exist some anxiety or insecurity.

 

Back in undergraduate college I had at least two colleagues who were vocal militant atheists (I guess that they are part of those who can also be called also anti-theists), and I not found out about this until years ago because they never pushed their atheism on me, even though they knew that I am a religious person (I am Catholic). I imagine that this was because I  always strive to be courteous and helpful with everyone, though I do understand that there are people out there who will disrespect you no matter how nice you are.

 

But from reading your last post, it seems that in your case it was more than just feeling threatened, it was being threatened.

 

 

You're right but you can understand why speaking with someone who claims they would have armed men storm my house, search for religious iconography, and have me arrested for possessing it might make me feel more than a little uneasy.

 

Even if the person was just lying, that was a despicable thing to say.

 

I don't know if this works as a consolation for you, but I at least would like to share a situation in which I also got threatened. I don't think I was ever threatened because of my faith, but back in the first year of high school (in 1999) I got a death threat (when I got back to class I found my pencil case mangled and with a threatening note). I think I never felt as scared in my life. Later that day I brought the pencil case and the noe to the vice-principal, which took the case very seriously.

 

Next day she came to my class, and asked me to exit and wait for her on her room, while she talked with the class. To this day I don't know how her talk with the class went, but from what people told me she was LIVID. Somehow she managed to get the responsible people to admit it, apologize to me and give me a new pencil case. I still don't know why they threatened me, I think it was just a stupid joke. Anyways, I never had any trouble with them afterwards.

 

About your case, my heart and prayers are with you. I don't think that whoever said that to you has the means to accomplish it, I think it was an attempt to scare you. However I know that it still is very frightening.

 

I know that going through hardships is very difficult, and I don't think that anyone likes it. But it unfortunately is an unavoidable part of life, since we live on a world corrupted by Sin. This life is called "the narrow path" for a reason... But when you put your sufferings in the hands of God they acquire an redemptive power, and also they are an opportunity to become more humble once you realize how fragile people are.

 

All best wishes!

[CosmicHooves 2,705]

So let me ask you something, my friends. Do you guys ever feel threatened by anti-theists?

Not really, because they don't seem to "come out of their closet" in public (as they should).

And the loud vocal one's on this site are annoying and nothing else.

Though I do love calling them out whenever they make rude or mean comments.

[GuyNamedEarl 1,332]

Missouri Lutheran Synod. How's it going everyone?

[Sheheuwi9sidufud7eiwkn3 75]

Catholic. I honestly love being catholic because I get to break so many stereotypes

[Soctavia 232]

Hey everyone! Strong Catholic and proud of it!

[Steel Accord 6,660]

Catholic. I honestly love being catholic because I get to break so many stereotypes

 

 

Hey everyone! Strong Catholic and proud of it!

 

 

 

(I am Catholic)

 

 

We seem to be growing in representation here. 

[Miles 2,512]

[...] left hand [...]

Hehhh...

Yeah, even though I'm right handed, I go lefty, err imeanwhat lol...

 

So let me ask you something, my friends. Do you guys ever feel threatened by anti-theists?

 

I don't feel threatened by anti-theists, but I do feel an awkwardness of sorts when I hear some of my old friends who used to be Christian/Catholic tell me they no longer are.  Just the other day I was talking to an old friend on Skype, and i brought up religion; he used to be Catholic, and he says he's now only agnostic at best.  It just feels... guhh... sorrowful and unnerving.  I don't understand why he would lose his religion...

Anyone else have similar experiences?

~ Miles

[Steel Accord 6,660]

Hehhh...

Yeah, even though I'm right handed, I go lefty, err imeanwhat lol...

 

 

 

I don't feel threatened by anti-theists, but I do feel an awkwardness of sorts when I hear some of my old friends who used to be Christian/Catholic tell me they no longer are.  Just the other day I was talking to an old friend on Skype, and i brought up religion; he used to be Catholic, and he says he's now only agnostic at best.  It just feels... guhh... sorrowful and unnerving.  I don't understand why he would lose his religion...

 

Anyone else have similar experiences?

 

~ Miles

 

Actually yes, another member of these Forums that's a friend of mine basically went through the same thing, the whole Agnosticism thing I mean. He claims he practices Buddhism now, but I'm not sure how closely he exactly holds to it.

[Sudo Krenton 243]

So let me ask you something, my friends. Do you guys ever feel threatened by anti-theists?

As in atheists? Depends. I've met a few that are literally out to see the ruin of religion, and It's guess a tad threatening, especially when I don't have answers. But when I speak of being threatened, I am more so mentally/spiritually, as usually after I'm done with discussing with them, I end up questioning my beliefs. But this threatened feelings leads to me learning more about what I believe, reading into scripture, reading philosophical writings by Plato and Rene Descartes. And in the end, I come to a conclusion, as well as answers to my doubts. So (in my opinion) this threatened feeling isn't bad. It is dangerous, but I learn a lot more about myself, and the atheist community through such encounters.

 

I'm not threatened by all atheists, because not all atheists are out to destroy religion. Some are just "there." Atheists are human, and are quite capable of leading upright lives, and I have no problem with that.

 

Irrelevant to the current conversation. Not sure anyone like this style of music, but. I came across this song which I really like (it's Christian as far as I know, too )

https://soundcloud.com/twilight-meadow/jacob-stanifer-wings-feat-twilight-meadow

Edited July 11, 2015 by Sudo Krenton

[Lexamena 391]

https://mlpforums.com/blog/2000/entry-16729-through-blind-eyes-may-we-see/

 

I'm sure this has been posted here before, but anyway, it is still a great read. Go read it.

So I read this and it was a good post but it appeared to leave out the critical part about Jesus crucifixion being the only way to gain salvation. I just think its important to point out the just loving others is not the way or "one of many" ways to the father. If i read it or comprehended it wrong, I apologize. Edited July 11, 2015 by Lexamena

[Steel Accord 6,660]

 

 

As in atheists?

 

No strictly speaking anti-theists. All anti-theists are atheist but not all atheists are anti-theist. An anti-theist doesn't just want you not to believe but they wish for the end of all religious institution and thinking . . . sometimes through violent suppression as my reported conversation showed.

 

 

 

-snip-

 

 

Well that's good to hear. Yes, doubt and questioning are good, but no it's not the loss of faith that I was referring to it was the fear that people would hurt me for what I believed. Something that was a completely foreign concept to me until recently.

So I read this and it was a good post but it appeared to leave out the critical part about Jesus crucifixion being the only way to gain salvation. I just think its important to point out the just loving others is not the way or "one of many" ways to the father. If i read it or comprehended it wrong, I apologize.

 

I think that part is implicit. Jesus already was crucified, His sacrifice has been made, the way is open. Now it's up to us to follow that way He opened for us through His death and that is through love.

[Knight Hadron 372]

I think that part is implicit. Jesus already was crucified, His sacrifice has been made, the way is open. Now it's up to us to follow that way He opened for us through His death and that is through love.

In other words, because we have been perfected in Him, therefore we should live like we are perfected. Because we are being perfected in Christ, we should live like we are being perfected. In love.

[Lexamena 391]

No strictly speaking anti-theists. All anti-theists are atheist but not all atheists are anti-theist. An anti-theist doesn't just want you not to believe but they wish for the end of all religious institution and thinking . . . sometimes through violent suppression as my reported conversation showed.

 

 

 

Well that's good to hear. Yes, doubt and questioning are good, but no it's not the loss of faith that I was referring to it was the fear that people would hurt me for what I believed. Something that was a completely foreign concept to me until recently.

 

 

I think that part is implicit. Jesus already was crucified, His sacrifice has been made, the way is open. Now it's up to us to follow that way He opened for us through His death and that is through love.

Yes that's true, and willing knowledgable acceptance of that gift. I personally dont like when it gets a little vague about whether just "being a good person" is enough by default just because the way is open.

[Sunwalker 981]

Anyone else have similar experiences?

~ Miles

 

Like yours? Not that I remember, but I do think that the other way around happened. There are two colleagues from college that I suspect that opened themselves up to faith after seeing me. I suspect that because at first they were positively surprised that I was religious, there are people people avoid religion because all that they know about it comes from some bad examples. Then over the time I have noticed a more spiritual attitude from them.

 

 

As in atheists? Depends. I've met a few that are literally out to see the ruin of religion, and It's guess a tad threatening, especially when I don't have answers. But when I speak of being threatened, I am more so mentally/spiritually, as usually after I'm done with discussing with them, I end up questioning my beliefs. But this threatened feelings leads to me learning more about what I believe, reading into scripture, reading philosophical writings by Plato and Rene Descartes. And in the end, I come to a conclusion, as well as answers to my doubts. So (in my opinion) this threatened feeling isn't bad. It is dangerous, but I learn a lot more about myself, and the atheist community through such encounters.

 

Interesting point, and one that I can relate. It was the questioning towards my faith that led me to learn more about it. Doubts are a good thing when they led you to want to learn more. We don't know everything, and when we are questioned is where we can see the limitations of our knowledge and where we can improve. What is bad is that obstinate type of doubt, the one that the person refuses to know about; in other words: willful ignorance.

 

I can also relate that, even when I know how to deal with the situation, I still feel some anxiety.

[Steel Accord 6,660]

Yes that's true, and willing knowledgable acceptance of that gift. I personally dont like when it gets a little vague about whether just "being a good person" is enough by default just because the way is open.

 

Well for one thing, "being a good person" is much harder than it seems. It's not just being polite and considerate, that's easy. Right action is actively giving of yourself, your time, your resources, your good will. That's not an easy life to live but it is what Jesus did.

[Boyevyye De 244]

This is a good thread... Hallo 

 

is there any Eastern Orthodox here?

Edited July 11, 2015 by Boyevyye De

[LongGoneGr 1,305]

Hey-o everypony. How are ya'll doing today?

[Sudo Krenton 243]

This is a good thread... Hallo 

 

is there any Eastern Orthodox here?

Awww yeah! Eastern Orthodox!..... Not that I am one myself... I just love the that culture and religious style.

 

(Byzantine Catholic)

Edited July 11, 2015 by Sudo Krenton

[LittleMac 3,085]

Hey-o everypony. How are ya'll doing today?

Hey-o

I'm doing good, how are you?

[LongGoneGr 1,305]

Hey-o

I'm doing good, how are you?

 

I'm doing alright, I suppose.