writing Him [A Poem]

[The Stranger 812]

Greetings Everyone. This is a poem I wrote that took me about two hours to get done. I have to be honest, I'm very proud of myself because despite the fact that I'm a poet my vocabulary is very limited and my grammar isn't the best since I've isolated myself after I lost my friends two years ago. 

 

I'll be posting this up on my DeviantART and Tumblr as well. Thank you to anyone who reads my poem and leaves honest comments. 

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There was a man,

a quiet eccentric man.

 

He traveled the world near and far;

without a boat, without a car.

 

To moonlit valleys in the inky dark,

He journeyed on without a remark.

 

He was in search for a hidden clue

What that was, nobody knew. 

 

Cloaked he was, with his hood up high.

No one bothered to ever ask why.

 

Determined he was to find his way;

he would not be sidetracked, he would not stray.

 

The years flew by and I grew older,

but he did not, he only grew bolder.

 

To this day as I lay in my bed,

I tell the story of the young hooded man

who traveled this would with courage in hand. 

Edited January 11, 2013 by Twisted-Bone

[SOHCAHTOA 51]

Cool! Very nice. I was a little disappointed because it was quite inconclusive, but I wouldn't want it to be comclusive if it wasn't good.

 

And you can make it a story! Make various poems, each telling a part of the story, and each in a different style!

 

Of course, that's just an idea. I understand that it was quite hard for you to make that, and it would take a lot of your time to do this, not only on thinking how would the poems go and what rhymes to make, but also on creating a story. Anyway, that was just an idea.

 

Your poem is awesome!

 

EDIT: Also, not gonna lie, first though on my head when I read the title of the thread (Him), I though it referred to the PPG villain XD When I read the other word (poem) though, I thought "no, it couldn't be Him".

Edited January 11, 2013 by SOHCAHTOA

[The Stranger 812]

Cool! Very nice. I was a little disappointed because it was quite inconclusive, but I wouldn't want it to be comclusive if it wasn't good.

 

And you can make it a story! Make various poems, each telling a part of the story, and each in a different style!

 

Of course, that's just an idea. I understand that it was quite hard for you to make that, and it would take a lot of your time to do this, not only on thinking how would the poems go and what rhymes to make, but also on creating a story. Anyway, that was just an idea.

 

Your poem is awesome!

 

EDIT: Also, not gonna lie, first though on my head when I read the title of the thread (Him), I though it referred to the PPG villain XD When I read the other word (poem) though, I thought "no, it couldn't be Him".

 

I wanted to leave the reader with questions so I guess I don't mind my poem being a little mysterious.

 

Thank you for being honest. 

Edited January 11, 2013 by Twisted-Bone

[SOHCAHTOA 51]

Oh ok. I guess you accomplished what you wanted... for a matter of fact, I think you did it too well. We are given next to no information about the characters or their motivations. That's like calling someone, and when they ask "what" answering "nevermind". That was too good, it's really a shame there's nothing more. But I can undertand what you wanted to do, and I have to say you've done it perfectly.

 

Also, I preferred your old avatar.

 

Also, have you posted any other poems before on this site? Because if you did, I'd like to read them

 

EDIT: ... Did you change your avatar again? In such short notice?

Edited January 11, 2013 by SOHCAHTOA

[Xalder 30]

Everyone is a hooded man. We're all searching near and far, quite what none of us know, but we give the outward appearance of knowing. We seek what we think we seek with a determination, and there are many people in the world, so as you grow older you continue to notice the same type of people, the ones searching with that quiet determination, with that drive of knowing.

 

Perhaps some people do know... At any rate this is my interpretation. 

[The Stranger 812]

Oh ok. I guess you accomplished what you wanted... for a matter of fact, I think you did it too well. We are given next to no information about the characters or their motivations. That's like calling someone, and when they ask "what" answering "nevermind". That was too good, it's really a shame there's nothing more. But I can undertand what you wanted to do, and I have to say you've done it perfectly.

 

Also, I preferred your old avatar.

 

Also, have you posted any other poems before on this site? Because if you did, I'd like to read them

 

EDIT: ... Did you change your avatar again? In such short notice?

The point of the poem was to get the reader to think: Who is this man, Is he human, What's his goal, Is he an angel, is he a demon? is he good or bad, does he symbolize something? 

 

 

Lol, yes I'm flipping through avatars until I came to this one. I'm done doing that. 

 

If you want to see my other poetry you can just go to my profile and look for threads I've posted. To make it even easier you can just check out my DeviantART. Your choice.

 

 

Everyone is a hooded man. We're all searching near and far, quite what none of us know, but we give the outward appearance of knowing. We seek what we think we seek with a determination, and there are many people in the world, so as you grow older you continue to notice the same type of people, the ones searching with that quiet determination, with that drive of knowing.

 

Perhaps some people do know... At any rate this is my interpretation. 

 

 

 

You're awesome, I hope you know that. You found the deep meaning of my poem and that is just amazing! I didn't think anyone else would come to that interpretation. Thank you for your input. 

Edited January 11, 2013 by Twisted-Bone

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

This is a great one, like always. I like reading this more narrative piece because it is a change from many of your more description based poems. I'd just like to give a few suggestions in regards to grammar and such. Here is a version with my corrections. Feel free to take them or ignore them as you will.

 

 

There was a man,

a quiet eccentric man.

 

He traveled the world near and far;

without a boat, without a car,

 

To moonlit valleys in the inky dark,.

He journeyed on without a remark.

 

He was in search for a hidden clue

What that was, nobody knew. 

 

Cloaked he was, with his hood up high.

No one bothered to ever ask why.

 

Determined he was to find his way;

he would not be sidetracked, he would not stray.

 

The years flew by and I grew older,

but he did not, he only grew bolder.

 

To this day as I lay in my bed,

I tell the story of the young hooded man

who traveled this world with courage in hand. 

[SOHCAHTOA 51]

Everyone is a hooded man. We're all searching near and far, quite what none of us know, but we give the outward appearance of knowing. We seek what we think we seek with a determination, and there are many people in the world, so as you grow older you continue to notice the same type of people, the ones searching with that quiet determination, with that drive of knowing.

 

Perhaps some people do know... At any rate this is my interpretation. 

 

Immediately when I started reading what you were saying, I remembered the Tv Tropes page Everyone Is Jesus In The Purgatory. But then, you started making sense. SO, congratulations on saying somethings that's actually meaningful sorry if it doesn't mean much to you, but it's the first time I see someone doing what you just did on the internet.

 

Also, I think the main problem I'm having with this poem is that I'm simple-minded. While I am very creative, I tend to reserve my imagination to original things, and when I'm appreciating some form of work of art (books, paintings, tv shows, poems, music) I really only know what I see/hear. Which is why I tend to find works with ambiguous interpretations disappointing. But that's just me being incapable of paying attention to something and thinking at the same time.

[The Stranger 812]

This is a great one, like always. I like reading this more narrative piece because it is a change from many of your more description based poems. I'd just like to give a few suggestions in regards to grammar and such. Here is a version with my corrections. Feel free to take them or ignore them as you will.

 

 

There was a man,

a quiet eccentric man.

 

He traveled the world near and far;

without a boat, without a car,

 

To moonlit valleys in the inky dark,.

He journeyed on without a remark.

 

He was in search for a hidden clue

What that was, nobody knew. 

 

Cloaked he was, with his hood up high.

No one bothered to ever ask why.

 

Determined he was to find his way;

he would not be sidetracked, he would not stray.

 

The years flew by and I grew older,

but he did not, he only grew bolder.

 

To this day as I lay in my bed,

I tell the story of the young hooded man

who traveled this world with courage in hand. 

 

Thank you for your input. My grammar and punctuation was never really good even though I'm a poet. I respect your corrections to my work. Thank you.   

 

 

Immediately when I started reading what you were saying, I remembered the Tv Tropes page Everyone Is Jesus In The Purgatory. But then, you started making sense. SO, congratulations on saying somethings that's actually meaningful sorry if it doesn't mean much to you, but it's the first time I see someone doing what you just did on the internet.

 

Also, I think the main problem I'm having with this poem is that I'm simple-minded. While I am very creative, I tend to reserve my imagination to original things, and when I'm appreciating some form of work of art (books, paintings, tv shows, poems, music) I really only know what I see/hear. Which is why I tend to find works with ambiguous interpretations disappointing. But that's just me being incapable of paying attention to something and thinking at the same time.

 

 

 

Don't sell yourself short. You aren't simple-minded you just view things in a different way. What you posted got me thinking about my poem. You're input was appreciated. 

Edited January 11, 2013 by Twisted-Bone

[Xalder 30]

Immediately when I started reading what you were saying, I remembered the Tv Tropes page Everyone Is Jesus In The Purgatory. But then, you started making sense. SO, congratulations on saying somethings that's actually meaningful sorry if it doesn't mean much to you, but it's the first time I see someone doing what you just did on the internet.

 

I really didn't put that much work into that post >.< I actually typed my interpretation as I thought of it... I didn't think I did any particular good job of interpretation as I tend to not look deeply into things, I felt that my interpretation was written on the surface... but I do suppose that sometimes when reading poetry it's better to not look at it too critically, digging for the author's deeply ingrained reasons for using particular rhythmic schemes and whatnot and just simply enjoy the poem for what it is on the surface.

 

Sometimes that's where you find the true purpose anyway.