What if grass screamed when you stepped on it?

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

Me? I'd mow the lawn one hundred times more often to hear the screams.

 

You?

[The Soldier 2,044]

Then I will commit arson wait that's Firebolt's doing...

 

I will not clop outdoors.

[NavelColt 22,880]

Eh, never go outside anyway.

 

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

then all jewish weddings would be awkward

[AnonyPoni 564]

I would shiver, then say sorry

 

course I do that now....

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

wait, isnt grass like a baby version of a tree........OH MY GOD FLUTTERSHY

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

wait, isnt grass like a baby version of a tree........OH MY GOD FLUTTERSHY

No, grass is like a grass version of grass.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

No, grass is like a grass version of grass.

but now you have that image stuck in your head

[Harmonic Revelations 8,835]

but now you have that image stuck in your head

Nope.

[moneyshredderofdeath 414]

"Good luck with Muk and his poison gas

One wrong move and he'll KICK YOUR GRASS"

[Princess Derpy 672]

I would scream and then fall over.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

time to eat some grass

[Snowdream 221]

I'd build houses all over the grass...

[Silverhoof 2,844]

I would realize the grass was really asking for it and dance a jig. Mowing my dad's lawn would no longer be a chore...it would be fun.

After a few rains the grass would get tall, I would invite my farmer friend to bring a few of his goats over to eat the grass.

 

Grass gets all uppity if you don't show it who's the boss from time to time.

Edited April 7, 2013 by Silverhoof

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Eh, never go outside anyway.

Indoors is overrated. Open a damn window.

 

-----

 

Did I mention my front lawn looks like this?

 

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

Indoors is overrated. Open a damn window.

 

-----

 

Did I mention my front lawn looks like this?

 

sheesh man, hire a gardener, your lawn is overrun, i mean look at it, its a freaking jungle

Edited April 7, 2013 by Staticthor Draconus

[Espy Vibe 4,280]

I would apologize to the grass 

[Samurai Equine 51,442]

Hmm... 

Forgive me, everyone. I am about to think too deeply on this question and the ramifications there in.

So to start off, here's what I think would realistically happen...

If it was found that the grass was not alive, it just made that sound in response to being stepped on or compressed, I feel we'd all grow numb/deaf to it. After hearing it generation after generation, we'd just accept it and move on until we no longer think about it. The only way we'd actually do something about it is if the screams were so loud that they were becoming a public menace. In which case, science would probably find a chemical or some way to treat the grass so that the screaming is either decreased or completely stopped. Might even look into selective grass breading to achieve that result. Whatever it takes.

On the other hand, if we found out the grass is now alive but not necessarily sentient like a human (think alive in the sense of a pet or wild animal)...

I feel like this would drastically change the way people treat the environment. There would now be social and moral implications to consider. Many would no doubt try to see if it was just a specific type of grass; since the now living & screaming grass might become limited to the untamed wild, scientists, preservations, and what have you. People might want to save the screaming grass as passionately as they want to save the animals. On the other hand, if it's impossible to avoid screaming grass, then there might be HUGE changes made. I imagine lots of people would no longer have lawns. With the exception of trees and other plant life, their entire yards might be paved over until nothing or hardly anything has room to grow. Those who do have a yard would be changing the way they maintain it. There would be a lack of mowing and traditional lawn care. You might even need to be some kind of licensed specialist to do so, unless you live in a different country where laws and regulations around such things are very different. I can only imagine how much it might change the environment on a global scale... And let's not forget all the animals that typically survive on a grass diet!

And I REALLY don't know what to think if we found out the grass was alive, sentient, and capable of human speech as well as screaming.  I fear we might be doomed.

[Treeglow Flicker 13,668]

It would go:

"AAAAAARGH!!!"

[Clawdeen 14,130]

That would scare the living daylights out of me

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,295]

We'd feel very guilty and not go outside for anything  

[Clawdeen 14,130]

You should scream back at it

[Guest]

*stomps even harder* 

[Clawdeen 14,130]

On 2023-10-06 at 11:42 PM, StarlightNyars said:

*stomps even harder* 

That’s very evil. I approve