Review my OC!

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

Hey there guys I recently made an OC, hes inspired by my own personality and tastes, maybe just a bit more athletic than me haha. I tried my best to make him as neat as possible, I didn't want him to be one of those tacky overpowered and weird looking OC's. I also tried to make his storyline interesting and adventurous, so please check him out. The first picture at the top of his page was made by the renissance brony so I want to give a shoutout to him. There are also a few more pictures at the bottom including a rough draft that I made using one of those make up games. Pnut fuzzy also drew the bust picture so I want to give a shoutout to him aswell. 

 

Please comment and give me your opinion on him, do not hesitate to give me your honest opinion.

 

http://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/ocelot-r3834

[repsol rave 2,963]

looks really good, altough the cutiemark seems a bit out of place. atleast so it seems to me, i find it hard to relate a skull to martial arts. to me it looks more like a pirate flag. 

but other then that it seems like a really good character, interesting backstory and definitely interesting to play with in an RP

i hope my OC isaac and he can meet someday

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

looks really good, altough the cutiemark seems a bit out of place. atleast so it seems to me, i find it hard to relate a skull to martial arts. to me it looks more like a pirate flag. 

but other then that it seems like a really good character, interesting backstory and definitely interesting to play with in an RP

i hope my OC isaac and he can meet someday

Thank you The concept of the skull gives him fighter kind of aspect. He isn't completely an asian themed martial arts kind of character, but more of a street fighter... hmm its difficult to explain. Kind of like how characters in the super street fighter games are... they know martial arts.. but in a less clean and defensive kind of way. Thank you for your opinion too

Any more opinions from you guys out there? I want all you guys to comment so please do so   (just for the sake of filling the minimum)

[Colt 555]

I would love to give you some feedback... WITH A COST, that is please leave feedback on my OC dragon if you are able too it will be highly apreciated.

 

OC's - Colt Strahl

 

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Ocelot Review

 

Da looks

 

 

I have to say I really liked his pony creator design, ears and hoodie look good with his color scheme and his rocker kind of mane goes well with his cuttie mark. His profile picture in paper also looks good his attitude its wild and fits with his “feline” attributes I would like to know why if you described him as mainly calm this pose is for his profile but over all I consider his colors as well balanced, fitting to the character and also executed very nicely.

 

Da character

 

 

Here and before I start I have to say that Im normal a jerkin terms of cannon and extending it, what its going to be said its not a critique or encourage you to change your OC. Ok after that.

 

His feline attributes and “heritage” kind of make me walk away from the character, we are unable to know if “hybrids” are posible in the world of ponies, many would say that manticores, minotaurs or griffons are that, IMO they are born from such kind of races and blood lines and are not a produce of interspecies breeding.

 

His motivation also seems off to me he just decided to go on a journey just like that? And did he learned the martial arts before or after this travel/adventure. You go forward and backward explaining his story, skills, job, achievements and hobbies in the same text and (maybe because its my fault) I didnt get the concept of the journey or the places he visited or if he is still on that part of his life.

 

Also I understand this, as my own OC, is an “adventure / battle” type of character. And I see all you want to do with him, but what I would recommend you to do is to find “weakness” or “opportunities” for him to grow. Ocelot is an outstanding fighter but after all its an “outsider” to the world beyond Everfree what are the implications to that, how does he adapt to being an orphan or any other implications there could be for somepony like him. Give him a chance to grow with your RP's and your advenrues.

 

Well those are my thoughts

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

I would love to give you some feedback... WITH A COST, that is please leave feedback on my OC dragon if you are able too it will be highly apreciated.

 

OC's - Colt Strahl

 

---

 

Ocelot Review

 

Da looks

 

 

I have to say I really liked his pony creator design, ears and hoodie look good with his color scheme and his rocker kind of mane goes well with his cuttie mark. His profile picture in paper also looks good his attitude its wild and fits with his “feline” attributes I would like to know why if you described him as mainly calm this pose is for his profile but over all I consider his colors as well balanced, fitting to the character and also executed very nicely.

 

Da character

 

 

Here and before I start I have to say that Im normal a jerkin terms of cannon and extending it, what its going to be said its not a critique or encourage you to change your OC. Ok after that.

 

His feline attributes and “heritage” kind of make me walk away from the character, we are unable to know if “hybrids” are posible in the world of ponies, many would say that manticores, minotaurs or griffons are that, IMO they are born from such kind of races and blood lines and are not a produce of interspecies breeding.

 

His motivation also seems off to me he just decided to go on a journey just like that? And did he learned the martial arts before or after this travel/adventure. You go forward and backward explaining his story, skills, job, achievements and hobbies in the same text and (maybe because its my fault) I didnt get the concept of the journey or the places he visited or if he is still on that part of his life.

 

Also I understand this, as my own OC, is an “adventure / battle” type of character. And I see all you want to do with him, but what I would recommend you to do is to find “weakness” or “opportunities” for him to grow. Ocelot is an outstanding fighter but after all its an “outsider” to the world beyond Everfree what are the implications to that, how does he adapt to being an orphan or any other implications there could be for somepony like him. Give him a chance to grow with your RP's and your advenrues.

 

Well those are my thoughts

Thank you for your comments I am aware that the storyline behind ocelot is not very detailed, but that is because what you have read is just a brief summary (The rough draft). I am looking further to expanding his background story and maybe elaborating things a bit more in order to give the readers a better understanding. As to the pony and feline hybrid part... I havent figured out yet how I am going to get away with making a reasonable explanation of how these hybrids came to be, but I am working on it. Remember though that my ideas are based on my creativity and not on whats cannon in the pony world. Just for a sneak peak, Im thiking about an idea that is inspired by ancient egypt, when humans used to worship cats. To put it this way.. there are unicorns.. pegasi.. even crystal ponies.. so.. Im thinking about making a fanfic that links to my character about sphinx ponies. So basically, as time passed by and ocelots sphinx ancestors began breeding with unicorns which might of taken away a bit of feline atributes, which is just a concept that I am working on. So thank you for that I am inspired to elaborate my OC more.

I would love to give you some feedback... WITH A COST, that is please leave feedback on my OC dragon if you are able too it will be highly apreciated.

 

OC's - Colt Strahl

 

---

 

Ocelot Review

 

Da looks

 

 

I have to say I really liked his pony creator design, ears and hoodie look good with his color scheme and his rocker kind of mane goes well with his cuttie mark. His profile picture in paper also looks good his attitude its wild and fits with his “feline” attributes I would like to know why if you described him as mainly calm this pose is for his profile but over all I consider his colors as well balanced, fitting to the character and also executed very nicely.

 

Da character

 

 

Here and before I start I have to say that Im normal a jerkin terms of cannon and extending it, what its going to be said its not a critique or encourage you to change your OC. Ok after that.

 

His feline attributes and “heritage” kind of make me walk away from the character, we are unable to know if “hybrids” are posible in the world of ponies, many would say that manticores, minotaurs or griffons are that, IMO they are born from such kind of races and blood lines and are not a produce of interspecies breeding.

 

His motivation also seems off to me he just decided to go on a journey just like that? And did he learned the martial arts before or after this travel/adventure. You go forward and backward explaining his story, skills, job, achievements and hobbies in the same text and (maybe because its my fault) I didnt get the concept of the journey or the places he visited or if he is still on that part of his life.

 

Also I understand this, as my own OC, is an “adventure / battle” type of character. And I see all you want to do with him, but what I would recommend you to do is to find “weakness” or “opportunities” for him to grow. Ocelot is an outstanding fighter but after all its an “outsider” to the world beyond Everfree what are the implications to that, how does he adapt to being an orphan or any other implications there could be for somepony like him. Give him a chance to grow with your RP's and your advenrues.

 

Well those are my thoughts

Alright so about your OC, I think he is a decent looking character.

 

While I am not so much of a fan for Non pony OC's, I think you were able to catch my interest with your character colt the strahl. 

 

He looks pretty nice, the color scheme works out great with his appearance. He is not as ugly as most dragons seen on the show, in fact he looks pretty attractive for a dragon. The eyes look pretty neat and his overall look is nice. 

 

The storyline is great, very long and interesting which any reader out there will love to read. The element of "Not all dragons are jerks" in his back ground makes him an admirable OC. The epic fantasy behind the backstory also makes it great too. I am not very critical with your character because the truth is that you obviously took a big chunk of time to work on him and I see you put effort into making him sound decent.

Hey guys I just updated his storyline a bit and added more details so please check it out, and come on guys add some comments! I dont want the threat to die too soon.

Thank you for your comments I am aware that the storyline behind ocelot is not very detailed, but that is because what you have read is just a brief summary (The rough draft). I am looking further to expanding his background story and maybe elaborating things a bit more in order to give the readers a better understanding. As to the pony and feline hybrid part... I havent figured out yet how I am going to get away with making a reasonable explanation of how these hybrids came to be, but I am working on it. Remember though that my ideas are based on my creativity and not on whats cannon in the pony world. Just for a sneak peak, Im thiking about an idea that is inspired by ancient egypt, when humans used to worship cats. To put it this way.. there are unicorns.. pegasi.. even crystal ponies.. so.. Im thinking about making a fanfic that links to my character about sphinx ponies. So basically, as time passed by and ocelots sphinx ancestors began breeding with unicorns which might of taken away a bit of feline atributes, which is just a concept that I am working on. So thank you for that I am inspired to elaborate my OC more.

Alright so about your OC, I think he is a decent looking character.

 

While I am not so much of a fan for Non pony OC's, I think you were able to catch my interest with your character colt the strahl. 

 

He looks pretty nice, the color scheme works out great with his appearance. He is not as ugly as most dragons seen on the show, in fact he looks pretty attractive for a dragon. The eyes look pretty neat and his overall look is nice. 

 

The storyline is great, very long and interesting which any reader out there will love to read. The element of "Not all dragons are jerks" in his back ground makes him an admirable OC. The epic fantasy behind the backstory also makes it great too. I am not very critical with your character because the truth is that you obviously took a big chunk of time to work on him and I see you put effort into making him sound decent.

Hey guys I just updated his storyline a bit and added more details so please check it out, and come on guys add some comments! I dont want the threat to die too soon.

Alright I just wanted to bump this thread a bit up because I noticed it had about 80 views but no many people have been giving me feedback