Harmonic Revelations 8,835 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 (edited) Welcome, to the Church of the Sacred Cactus. Listen to our holy scripture. Let the truth reach your ears. We all know what must be done, in the name of the holy Cactus, we must rise again, and defeat the evils of the Chicken Rebellion. Join me, my brothers and sisters, and rise in the name of thy lord and savior, Weegee. We know the true path of righteousness, the path of the Saguaro, the path of the truth. Be one with the Cactus, let yourself be the Cactus, and the cactus be you. History of the Church: _______________ When my Grandfather, Weegee, was just a small girl in his village, a pack of roving lawnmowers attacked. They would have killed him, however, a Cactus came to his aid and single handedly killed all the lawn mowers, and then bestowed upon Weegee the scripture that every member of the church is sworn to live by until the day we all ascend and become one with the Cactus. When Weegee died, he passed the mantle of responsibility of leading the church onto me. You start out as an initiate upon signing up, from there, I will invite you to a PM where the inner workings of the church are explained, and I will assign you missions. As you complete these missions, you will rank up in the Church, this is how it has always worked, for all of the billions of years the Church has existed. Our members number in the quintillions, however, only a handful have made it into the inner circle and actually become one with the Cactus. But by doing extraordinary things for the well-being of the church, you too may be permitted to become a Guardian Priest of the Sacred Cactus. An honor most great, and second only to me in prestige. There are secondary titles that do specific things for the church that are also within the inner circle. _______________________ Church Documents: Testimonial 8/20/2013 [ADVISORY: This testimony is carefully verified and is highly redacted.] Greetings fellow Cacti-worshippers , this is ?????? from ?????? and let me tell you my testimony on how I became enlighted by Weegee. I used to be a part of the ????????? sect, and live an unholy life. My unholy life consisted of doing blasphemous things like eating mushrooms and shaping them into the image of ?????????, the God of Mushrooms, using lawnmowers, watching ?????????, and ?????????. I was so contented with my lifestyle. Then one day, when I was making preparations for the ?????????, and as a member of the grand ?????????, I was betrayed by my fellow members, and I was ?????????. That day, I had a rare moment of insight that I was living an incorrect life. I was about to die when I saw a vision of Weegee reaching for my hand and offering me another chance. From ?????????, I have never regretted worshipping the Great Cactus. [sEE HOLY DECREE HR-AMENDMENT IV FOR MORE REASONS REGARDING THE CENSORSHIP.] May Cactus be with you. Discuss the Church of the Sacred Cactus. Inner Circle: Harmonic Revelations-Lord of the Sacred Cactus Nascarfan160-Guardian Priest of the Sacred Cactus [CENSORED IN ORDER OF THE GREAT WEEGEE]-Information available only to Inner Circle Members [CENSORED IN ORDER OF THE GREAT WEEGEE]-Information available only to Inner Circle Members Current Members: Friendship_Cannon-Follower Repsol Rave-Follower Yes-Man-Initiate PDS.avi-Initiate Edited August 21, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendship_Cannon 1,676 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 Cactus is superior being, cacti are basically the better humans... Disagree? Bring it! 1 Signature made by the amazing ~Harmonic Dreams~ I always pictured you as a cross between Demoman and Pinkie Pie for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmonic Revelations 8,835 August 20, 2013 Author Share August 20, 2013 Cactus is superior being, cacti are basically the better humans... Disagree? Bring it! Does this mean you wish to become an Initiate in the Church? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Friendship_Cannon 1,676 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 Does this mean you wish to become an Initiate in the Church? But of course, do I look unsure? 1 Signature made by the amazing ~Harmonic Dreams~ I always pictured you as a cross between Demoman and Pinkie Pie for some reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
repsol rave 2,963 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 we all know that a cactus is superior to a human in any front. i would be very honored to spread the word of the holyness himself, but i think of myself as unworthy. still, i shall do everything i can to make the cacti known in every nation. My OC's: Roarke, Repsol and Crystal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
34908734bdjofh73 61 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 Just a question, why? Just, Why? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moog the Kvlt 1,460 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 Just a question, why? Just, Why? Because why not 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaZe Vinyl 521 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 Cacti are cool. Avatar by Zhortac Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yes-Man 597 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 (edited) Teach me the way of the cactus, oh wise one. Forgive me for my terrible sins and let me bask in the light! If you do, I will change my name to that of a holy one, and I will crawl my way to the Church of the Virgin Saguro in Mexico. Edited August 20, 2013 by Yes-Man "I'm done being patient. Give me a name or I'll cut your balls off and sell them to a krogan."- Commander Shepard http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yq1elKBFZcI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nas 2,873 August 20, 2013 Share August 20, 2013 Just a question, why? Just, Why? Because Harmonic, that's why. NOW WORSHIP THE CACTUS #SWAG 1 My journey in the fandom started on April 5, 2012. I joined here on April 24, 2012. Where that journey is headed now, who knows... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mephala 2,633 August 21, 2013 Share August 21, 2013 I reject the false god the Flying Spaghetti Monster (never delicious be his name, the heathen!) and faithfully join this church. Forever Pointy May Their Spikes Be! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fluttermena 1,223 August 21, 2013 Share August 21, 2013 Man, I don't know about this religion of yours. It seems like this church would attract a lot of pricks... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harmonic Revelations 8,835 August 21, 2013 Author Share August 21, 2013 Man, I don't know about this religion of yours. It seems like this church would attract a lot of pricks... Just a question, why? Just, Why? Harmonic needs no reason. Reasons are for people who aren't Harmonic. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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