Sunset |Prod. Jerry Taylor| Critique Requested

[jjj 46]

Hey everyone!

 

It's been a while since I've last posted in this area, but I got a track which could possibly be a hit within the brony hip-hop community! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

 

Without any further ado, here it is. Enjoy.

 

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Click here to listen to the track!

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\//\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 

 

For those interested in critiquing me/this track:

What do you think of this particular track?

What can I improve on/do better on?

Does anything bug you on this track?

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,825]

Well, it's a pretty good listen, but the one thing that prevents me from saying this track is great is the variance  There's hardly any changes the melody line, the transitions could be smoother. I was also expecting some rap in it, but that's okay. It's a good start though. 

 

See, this is the one thing that prevents me from liking electronic music: variance  There needs to be changes and the changes cannot be so sudden as people might think you just pasted something in there. Maybe add some sawtooth or square synth with a chord progression. This could make your track better and increase the variance of the overall piece.

 

6.5/10

 

This is all from a 14 year musician/composer

[jjj 46]

text

 

Thanks for the critique, but this track isn't electronica.

I mainly produce tracks for the hip-hop genre, tracks which are meant to be rapped on, hence why you notice the lack of variation within the melody.

 

This is just a little thing I whipped up quickly, so I'll change it up soon.

Edited November 8, 2013 by Jerry

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,825]

Thanks for the critique, but this track isn't electronica.

I mainly produce tracks for the hip-hop genre, tracks which are meant to be rapped on, hence why you notice the lack of variation within the melody.

 

This is just a little thing I whipped up quickly, so I'll change it up soon.

Oh okay. The way I produce my hip-hop tracks are dividing them into verses and choruses with cadence chords, not just straight on continuous with random changes.  

[jjj 46]

 not just straight on continuous with random changes.  

 

The reason why I made this track "straight on with random changes" is because this track is meant to be rapped on, as I explained in an earlier post.

 

My tracks aren't meant to be used in the way of regular compositions in other genres, such as electronica.

 

I'm not saying that your critique is invalid, though. Just realize that my material is heavily depended on vocals.

 

This is coming from an 18 year old, professional music producer.

[Kon 19]

This is the kind of stuff that basically needs a rapper with a chilled out voice to go with. I really like this track and I can't wait to hear more from you.