Tank is best Turtle

[Mywas 687]

Well he is.

Its amazing how He became the most popular out of all Many turtles of the show.

[Yamato 1,348]

Nah, man... Dale is best turtle.

 

[Chevette 1,052]

Nah, man... Dale is best turtle.

 

 

OH HERE WE GO WITH DALE AGAIN...

 

"Oh, well Dale is the only Turtle that can properly demonstrate the Western Union solder joint!"

"Well, Dale is ready to fuck the bitches."

"Dale the Turtle is the world's best ping pong playa!"

"Dale the Turtle can do a starter amperage draw test on a vehicle of choice!"

 

 

WHAT CAN'T DALE DO? nothing. That's right. Dale IS everything.

[FNGRpony 658]

I take tank over the TmnT any day

[Yamato 1,348]

I take tank over the TmnT any day

 

Dale once beat the TMNT at blackjack and then proceeded to eat all their pizza.

 

He taught Gary Numan how to LIVE.

 

He owns a condo on NEPTUNE.

 

You know all those towns whose names end in -dale? Yeah, they're named after him...

 

Whenever a blender is thrown away, Dale consumes its soul.

 

The movie "Gone With the Wind" is loosely based off of an inner ear infection Dale had as a child.

[Malinter 3,064]

What do this turtle and one line of "Art of the Dress" have in common?

 

Both prove tanks are canon in MLP.

 

So where are they? If the ponies have magic/steam powered tanks, I wanna see them XD

[Chevette 1,052]

Dale once beat the TMNT at blackjack and then proceeded to eat all their pizza.

 

He taught Gary Numan how to LIVE.

 

He owns a condo on NEPTUNE.

 

You know all those towns whose names end in -dale? Yeah, they're named after him...

 

Whenever a blender is thrown away, Dale consumes its soul.

 

The movie "Gone With the Wind" is loosely based off of an inner ear infection Dale had as a child.

 

Holy shit... That was the funniest goddamn post regarding a turtle I ever read... Let me add to this...

 

 

You know why Dale Gribble changed his name to Rusty Shackleford? Yeah, that's right... Dale the turtle.

 

They say Chuck Norris' beard once coughed up a 77' GMC Palm Beach motorhome, it was just Dale.

 

Ever heard of the movie "The Fast and the Furious"? Dale makes them look slow and delirious.

 

You know why Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob Squarepants lives in Bikini Bottom? Because Dale drove her out of Texas.

 

Ever hear the saying "The last lost is the first found"? Dale lost it first and then found it with his foot up your ass.

 

They say Dale was the cause of cancer... but it's only just true.

 

There was once a second White House. Dale borrowed it for a weekend, got wasted and burned it down and then blamed it on Bill Clinton who was later impeached.

 

You know why Red Forman makes all the "Foot in your ass" jokes? Because when he was a child, Dale beat the shit out of him.

 

It was once said that the Titanic's sinking was Dale's fault. It was, he never denied it.

[Yamato 1,348]

Dale is the reason babies cry when they're born.

 

He once gave an M1 Abrams tank a hernia.

 

The only thing keeping Dale from burning down every orphanage in Latvia is the combined hope of the entire human race.

 

Gravitational and spectral analysis has concluded that Dale's kidneys have the combined mass and luminosity of fifteen suns.

 

When Dale phased into existence, Atlantis sank because they knew life on the surface was no longer safe. They weren't safe below the surface, either.

 

Dale is everything's unnatural predator.

 

His brief WWE career ended when he killed his opponent with their own thoughts.

 

Dale created Ebola because he didn't want to be the only thing around that could make a grown man literally shit his guts out.

 

Dale admits that the giraffe was a mistake.

Edited December 7, 2013 by Chrysler Conquest

[FNGRpony 658]

i'm gonna ask about dale when i'm more awake.  or some pm it to me what ever.

[Nerdy Luigi 2,065]

This thread is hilarious.

[Yamato 1,348]

Give a man a hammer, and he can destroy a wall. Give a pony a hammer and it can create shitty modern art out of an end table.

Fig. A

 

Give Dale a hammer and he can destroy gods.

 

Dale is the second, third, and fourth horseman of the apocalypse.

 

Coincidentally, he is also the second, third, and fourth amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

 

Dale is Kim Jong-un's Glorious Leader.

 

The film "The Battleship Potemkin" is actually a historically accurate account of Dale's junior year of college.

 

Dale actually listens to telemarketers. He then proceeds to insert his foot into their ass through the goddamn phone.

 

Ever wonder what the surface of Pluto looks like? Dale.

 

When Dale sneezes people die.

 

Dale won two consecutive Busch Series Championships in 1998 and 1999. Funny thing is that the trophies have his last name down as "Earnhardt Jr.". His real last name is Phillips.

 

Contrary to popular belief, dingoes did not eat Lindy Chamberlain's baby. Dale did.

[Scootalove 10,692]

Best turtle? We will never know who is best turtle.

[Commander Frost 731]

ITS SPELLED TORTISE!
lol not turtle

[Chevette 1,052]

Give a man a hammer, and he can destroy a wall. Give a pony a hammer and it can create shitty modern art out of an end table.

Fig. A

 

Give Dale a hammer and he can destroy gods.

 

Dale is the second, third, and fourth horseman of the apocalypse.

 

Coincidentally, he is also the second, third, and fourth amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

 

Dale is Kim Jong-un's Glorious Leader.

 

The film "The Battleship Potemkin" is actually a historically accurate account of Dale's junior year of college.

 

Dale actually listens to telemarketers. He then proceeds to insert his foot into their ass through the goddamn phone.

 

Ever wonder what the surface of Pluto looks like? Dale.

 

When Dale sneezes people die.

 

Dale won two consecutive Busch Series Championships in 1998 and 1999. Funny thing is that the trophies have his last name down as "Earnhardt Jr.". His real last name is Phillips.

 

Contrary to popular belief, dingoes did not eat Lindy Chamberlain's baby. Dale did.

 

 

Last summer, Dale went on a cruise. The next day, he won the Daytona 500 with the cruise ship. 

 

Most people think tornado sirens are warning you for a tornado, don't fret. It's just Dale having a orgasm.

 

Do you know why certain drugs are illegal in the United States? Because Dale wants them all to himself.

 

Dale was in the 'NAM war 30 times.

 

Before they changed the character designs, the show "My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic" was called "My Little Dale; Racecars are Magic".

 

The "D" in WD-40 stands for Dale.

 

Not even Columbo could find where Dale hid the bodies.

 

In the movie, "The Emperor's New Groove" Dale was the groove.

 

Dale invented the winter Olympic sport of "Curling" and then proceeded to make nobody care about it.

 

The reason why Nicolas Cage was forced to make so many shitty movies was because Dale had him at gun point.

 

You know why it snows in the winter time? Because Dale fucking hates everyone.

 

Further interview with Dale revealed that the "Italian Job" was not even Italian.

 

The movie "Twister" was filmed inside Dale's shell.

[Cwanky 17,754]

 

Just so you're aware. But yes Tank is best pet.