writing PeacefulStarlight's Writing Stuffs.

[PeacefulStarlight 4]

This is a poem I wrote and wanted to share. Please, be cruel. I don't mean that in a "tell-me-it-sucks" sort of way. But if there is something you don't like, tell me. I want to be a serious writer someday. I need to know how to take criticism.

It is a little dark. Viewer desecration is advised.

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Cut open his head

To see all the dead

That he has been dreaming about

To find about her

So we can assure

We all have nothing to shout

 

Along with the dead

Inside of his head

Hus treasured memory found

A beautiful lass

On shatters of glass

Broken, face down, on the ground

 

With cannibal mind

He's sure to bind

Her ankles and wrists to the floor

And as she pleads

Continues to bleed

Wishing that she was no more

 

"You've got what you want

Please, no more taunt!"

She tries to get through to his head

"It's you that I love

Until you are above

But to me, you are already dead"