Anypony Want To Help Me Develop A Villain For A Fan-Fic?

[Everfree 286]

Hey everypony! How's it going? So I have this villain named Voluptatem ( You might recognize him from another one of my topics), and I really want to do something with him... but I kind of suck a writing. So I possible wondering if anybody would willing to help me develop this guy ( and possibly help me write a fan-fic for this too ... If anyone is willing)

 

 

Let's start with backstory. So first of all, I don't want this villain to be some generic Mary-Sue character that only does evil things, just cause he's evil.  My Idea for this so he's not some generic wanna-be is that he was created, subconsciously, by everypony on earth. So basically he's the entity of everyone's desires and not his own being... if that makes scenes.  If that concept sounds too far fetched just let me know. Now on to his motives: his main goal is to put everypony in this hypnotic state where they only experience nice and happy things; basically stuff that gives them pleasure. If they are in this state for to long they stay in this state of being for ever. He does this because the millions of voices of the ponies  that crated him in his head tell him to do so. Now the part I'm struggling with here is; how exactly will he accomplish this? Should he use some device, or does he have to get strong enough to do it or something else? If you guys have any ideas for that, please let me know.  Now on to the topic of when or where does he appear. I'm kind of struggling on deciding this one as well. I want to branch away for the same old "Princess Celestia locked him away for 1000 years, but now he's back for some reason" scenario.  If any of you guys have an idea on how he should make his appearance, that would be great as well.

 

On to his personality. Since he is a part of each of the main six, I thought it would be neat to have him act very subtly like the main six them selves. He would be intelligent like Twilight, competitive like Rainbow dash, polite like Flutter Shy, stubborn like AppleJack, mischievous like Pinkie Pie, and formal like Rarity. If you think that \would work, let me know.

 

So yeah... Let me hear your guys' feedback! Tell me if a character like this would work or not.

Here's a little dialog from Voluptatem  as well.

 

 

 

[Silverwisp the Bard 2,353]

I like most of this, except his endgoal; the I'll-hypnotize-everyone-so-they'll-be-happy trope has been done to death in various media.

-a way from him to recruit followers could be to give them a taste of their desire and promise they'll get more if they obey

-for an origin, how about he got created in the dreams of ponies, while Luna wasn't around to regulate them

-for flavour have him talk in many different and conflicting voices, maybe have him argue with himself

[---- 85]

They kind of remind me of Slaanesh, though I realize that isn't constructive at all. If that wasn't already an inspiration, maybe you could read up on them some and see if you get any ideas. They're a god in warhammer.

[Wolfbane 2]

I like most of this, except his endgoal; the I'll-hypnotize-everyone-so-they'll-be-happy trope has been done to death in various media. -a way from him to recruit followers could be to give them a taste of their desire and promise they'll get more if they obey -for an origin, how about he got created in the dreams of ponies, while Luna wasn't around to regulate them -for flavour have him talk in many different and conflicting voices, maybe have him argue with himself

I agree with this guy.

 

I like the idea of him being some essence of all of the mane 6 and he should have a small sense of humor, along with honor. Basically he doesn't try to win by cheap means. 

 

I would be up for helping you in this endeavor, my fimfiction is WolfBane. http://www.fimfiction.net/user/WolfBane

 

I am fine with either editing, pre-reading or even helping with writing the story itself.

 

-Wolfbane

Edited April 28, 2014 by Wolfbane

[Everfree 286]

I like most of this, except his endgoal; the I'll-hypnotize-everyone-so-they'll-be-happy trope has been done to death in various media.

-a way from him to recruit followers could be to give them a taste of their desire and promise they'll get more if they obey

-for an origin, how about he got created in the dreams of ponies, while Luna wasn't around to regulate them

-for flavour have him talk in many different and conflicting voices, maybe have him argue with himself

I like the idea of him tempting other ponies, but it contradicts what he is.  You see, his goal can't reflect what he wants as a single person. It has to reflect the desires of everybody as a whole.  The reason he was created because everypony, or at least the mass majority of them, thought to themselves, "I wish someone would save me from my hard life". And that's the request in his head he hears the most, thus that becomes his main goal: to save everyone from their hard lives. He is the savior that everypony has asked for, whether they realizes it or not. Now the question is; how will he "save" everypony? 

Now I like the idea he was created through dreams, because that's where most of our subconscious thoughts gather.

I also like the idea of him fight the voices in his head and slowly making a conscious for himself, and starting to develop his own thoughts.

 

BTW: do you have FiM Fiction account? I'm curious if you have written anything yourself   

I agree with this guy.

 

I like the idea of him being some essence of all of the mane 6 and he should have a small sense of humor, along with honor. Basically he doesn't try to win by cheap means. 

 

I would be up for helping you in this endeavor, my fimfiction is WolfBane. http://www.fimfiction.net/user/WolfBane

 

I am fine with either editing, pre-reading or even helping with writing the story itself.

 

-Wolfbane

I might need your help if I decide to go through with this . But, I first need to run by this with a couple other guys I know who might also be willing tho help.  

Edited April 29, 2014 by Everfree

[C.C. 66]

Man, there scary as buck already.

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Well Everfree, if advice is what you are after, I have a few ideas for tweaking your villain. First, you should read this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Id,_ego_and_super-ego and pay attention to what it says about the Id. There exists a theory that we all share a form of subconscious. I don't believe it myself, but if you make Voluptatem a being of Id, you have it's motives and personalty.

That said, I'm thinking the your baddy would have to rely on magic. I also think he's manipulative in the way a bad Conscience (devil on your shoulder is). It's not that he thinks he's bad, its more that he thinks he's encouraging you to be true to yourself and do what you like.

Given that this involves giving into base desires and becoming totally selfish, you can see how this would be damaging.

 

Given that nature (that he springs from everyponies mind), he'd be like Freddy Krugger. You can't kill or destroy him because he is a part of you (Freddy drew strength from belief and fear in him).

Hope these ideas help!

[Your Nightly Spectre 1,061]

Well, lets start with the basics. Every good villain needs a mustache and a tophat. 

[DonutJane 3]

So, you might want to revise backstory to this:

  Voluptatem could be a nightmare or a nightmare maker.  It would be interesting if he only existed in dreams.  He could be a rival to Luna.  They could have a terrible love-hate relationship (think discord and celestia).  He could have been a factor in Luna turning into nightmare moon (potential shipping).  Instead of him wanting everyone to be happy, he would trap sleeping ponies in nightmares, unable to wake up.  He could make ponies sleepwalk and that would be how he destroys equestria. 

   I think the best method for accomplishing this would be to make him a magic. He makes a maze or puzzle of your own fears and you have to work them out to get out of the dream.

 

As an example lets say that Rarity is trapped.  She might live in a world where fashion is not only ignored, but hated.  Everyone wears a uniform made of ugly clothing.  I think that one of her fears in that she isn't appreciated for what she does.  During the dream, she might try harder and harder to make her friends appreciate her only to find that they don't care about her.

 

As another example let's say Rainbow Dash is trapped.  Rainbow Dash's biggest fear isn't failure but insecurity.  She doesn't want to feel vunerable and this is one of the things that makes her strive to be the best.  She doesn't just want to win, she needs it as proof that she's worth something.  I think that Rainbow Dash is a complex character in the sense that a lot of who she is IS an act.  She is an awesome pony, but I don't think she always thinks so.  A possiblity for the world she lives in would be one where she relives all her greatest failures.  Failing to recognize Scootaloo's affection.  Her nerves before the young flyers competition. etc.

[rainbowdashbrony1 130]

Voluptatem  So Everfree, you wanted something dark and creepy to scare the   pony out of some well I have something morbid you'll like your twisted pony would  send Freddy Krueger to the puzzle box world where his body is ripped out of his heart destroyed and eaten by centobytes  limbo  minions of wraths of tomented half grotesque naked evil bitch bodies of a pony !  So I really think your character fits the HELLRAISER world of hell who knows maybe Queen Chrysalis send him there for her sick pleasures ?  Let me know if you like this story idea for your Fanfiction Everfree see YA! Everypony!

[Twylataffie2003 1]

He could be the king of a new race and fluttershy's big brother who over takes her role in the mane six and then flutter has to defend herself and ( terns alicorn!!! )

:3 ;( :| vcghjhjvhfygvjhbygh

[Wolfbane 2]

 

 

I might need your help if I decide to go through with this . But, I first need to run by this with a couple other guys I know who might also be willing tho help.  

 

Let me know when you come to a decision.... 

 

Feel free to say no as this is only an offer and I would be the same me either way.

 

-Wolfbane