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  1. I want try to stream more and stick to a schedule. I am just a casual, but I enjoy playing the game. In other words, I am not very good at the game. If any one wants to check out my stream tonight though, I will be streaming Street Fighter V at around 6 central time(I live in Texas by the way). My username is ghostkun07. 

  2. Just started the Simpsons from the beginning for the first time. I had seen some here and there when I was younger, but never all the way through. This ought to be an interesting journey....

  3. I used to play and make Youtube videos actively for the Smash Bros Melee scene and I'm considering returning. My favorite thing about going to tournaments was recording myself playing the game with others and uploading individual funny moments to Youtube. Want to check out my latest 1?

     

     

     

    It would be nice if I could gain subscribers again, but even if I don't, I think I'm going to return just to help out the new players get better. Playing to win is too stressful and I'm not among the ultra talented. There's no point for me to hope to win. Maybe I'll also play hyper-aggro to make the game more fun for them. I play a variety of characters

  4. I went to my friends house and my other friend came over to the same house a little later after I came to their house. We played game such as Mario Kart 8, New Super Mario Bros. U, Sonic Mania, Minecraft PS4 Edition, Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Mario Party 9. I had Red Rooster for the first time. I had the Rippa Roll and it was amazing.

    I came home and my dad was asking questions about stuff for school. He promised before that he would never ask me a question about the books and such for school again, but he did it anyway. I did him a favour and did what he ask in return to never tell me anymore questions.

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    Recent Entries

    Sorry, @Adam Burt for completely stealing this idea from you.

     

    I'll start with the few positives.

     

    POSITIVES

    • My experiences with Paladins in general.  It was actually a really good game until Hi-Rez killed it by making change after change that was unnecessary and backwards, through caving into the wants of their upper management. I played this game for months, and actually became one of the Top 100 Barik players (Based on KDA and Win Rate) in the world in that small span of time that I borderline one-tricked him.  The game had quite a few sour moments with me, but for the most part it was actually positive.
    • Introductions to Steven Universe, Star VS the Forces of Evil, and We Bare Bears. All of them are among my favorite cartoons of all time, all for their own reasons. Probably the best of the year. All three series in my opinion are very solid (though from what I've watched SvFE's 3rd season isn't looking too good...).
    • My marathon of Star Trek. I already had an admiration for the franchise before I really got into it around the beginning of last year,  but it was heightened. Quite frankly, most of the franchise is pretty solid with a few hiccups (including the entirety of Deep Space Nine... Luckily I only watched the "best" of that series)...
    • I became a lot less naive about politics, and began to realize how despicable 99% of politicians really are. I realized how bad mainstream politics really is. I even found political voices of reason... on YOUTUBE of all places.
    • Some actually good LoL changes for once (aside from Zoe, Ornn, Kleptomancy keystone)...

     

    NEGATIVES

    • The rapid deterioration of my computer's condition. It really got beat up this year. It's so bad in fact I'm actually using my dad's computer instead. Before the beginning of this year, it ran so smoothly... Now it's basically potentially salvageable junk. 
    • Politics as usual, but even worse. Removing my ignorance came at a cost, I know. I realized how bad the political system of the United States has gotten over the past 50 years, but 2017 was worse than average. We have an incompetent man child with tiny hands in the White House (to be fair, Hillary would be no better), Net Neutrality is going away (even though only 9% of Americans actually AGREE with that, and I bet I know who they are), and not to mention the absolute absurdity of the Democratic Party's "resistance" (yeah right, it's not a resistance, you're literally voting FOR what he proposes most of the time...). Doesn't help with all of the mass shootings this year, bombings on innocent civilians, the worst military leak in US history...
    • Losing my old account on here because of sheer laziness.
    • The basically zero progress I made towards getting anywhere with my life.
    • I've had to put up with so much s**t last year, it'd be enough for an entire DECADE. Seriously, I got attacked by an ENTIRE subreddit, a forum account (and my IP address also) perma-banned by an fascist Brazilian mod for literally no reason aside from the fact he didn't like what I had to say about things involving Paladins and his method of moderating,  and having moronic teammates who I could swear were 2-year olds in half of my Paladins and League of Legends matches, the insane number of special snowflakes that suddenly presented themselves... That's just about the worst of it, but I could probably sit for days listing all of the stupidity I've had to endure even like that.
    • Tried to commit suicide twice, because my situation got more hopeless by the month it seems like.
    • RIP Big Ben. See you again in 4 years. Though it was a  pretty nice meme for a little bit.
    • Dealing with more of my Dad's inane drama than usual. To be quite frank I wish I didn't live here now.
    • All of the special snowflakes

     

    In other words, it was, overall, a bad year for me. In fact, the worst I've ever had.

     

  5. Forgot to post it here.

     

    Postive:

    My Holiday in Sussex, I stayed in hotel in Hastings, unlike in 2016 didn’t see much Hastings, but for 4 days staying there see much of the town include Hatsings Castle, some museum and Hastings park, even check the area me and my famliy use to stay. Also on that holiday get to see Bodiam Castle (which I was unable to see in 2016), Battle of Hastings battlefield & Abbey (which also unable to see in 2016), Chichester cathedral & market cross and Seven Sister cliffs (As well as Eastbourne, last famliy holiday we had there).

    After holiday in Sussex & back home, went on day out, (on May) Monday-Blackpool, went on Tower trip, Tuesday went to Ilikey, visited Cow &  Calf Rocks & Ilikey Moor, On Wednesday, Penshaw Mounment, also check out Sunderland, tell you about Thursday last and get to see Thirsk.

    Visited Hull, City of Culture 2017, four times. First, visited Humber Bridge, The Deep, Hull & East Riding Museum, & City centre, Second, Humber Bridge, third, went inside Spurn Lightship & Arctic Corsair and fouth, visited Maritime Museum, Hull City Hall (Didn’t went inside there did seen it few times) & Hull Minster.

    On February, on frist week off of the year, visited Byland Abbey, Yorkshire Air Museum and Brimham Rock.

    On October, My last week off, visited Holgate Windmill (in York), in Halifax- The Piece’s Hall & Halifax Minster and In Salture, a cat and Salture Mill.

    Second time to Blackpool, to Star Trek Exhibion

    Of course, having one week in February, two weeks in may and one week in October.

    Manchester United won Uefa Cup and League Cup in season 2016/17

    Seeing movies at cinema, Justice League, Star Wars The Last Jedi, Churchill, Lego Batman, Spiderman Homecoming, The Guarden of the galaxy & few others.

    10th Anniversary of Hatsune Miku

    10th Anniversary of Kagamine Rin

    Loving Wendys

    Seeing BB8 again on screen & Seeing Porgs

    Discoving Tempest & Princess Skystar.

     

    Negetive

    Someone/thing took money from my bank account, but bank stop it and renew my card. Worst bank sent messgae on my mobile about it I’m at work and phone at work. It fear me, fear it may happen again.

    Parents agrue, hear my mum went mentle and dad moaning. Can’t stand it.

    Football, Manchester City think they’re Barcelona. Even, won two trophies, European Super Cup was dissappointing  and after good start of 2017/18 season, things turn not good, lost to Hudderfield, Chelsea and worse, Manchester Sh**y (And over celebrating) and failed to defend League Cup, lost to Bristol City. Arsenal keep winning FA Cup. Also lost a match at Champions League. Thought Manchester United doing well, but not yet. Also annoying to hear negative toward Manchester United both Haters, non-fans & fans. And people saying England not winning the World Cup and saying Germany be winning the cup and knowing how to win.

    Leeds (& other UK Cities) disqualified from Europe’s Captial of Culture. Made me mad and even tweet about it and some f***ing remoaners start make excuses for EU.

    Craziness of Brexit haters, stop Brexit blur blur blur, EU flag everywhere.

    Craziness of Tramp Haters, what can I say, bunch of arogants what happen if Trump gone? Think they can get rid if him, they are the ones ruining America.

    P** off with some Bus Services . Also one time driver went pass our stop, not sure I press the bus stop button.  Bus drivers and service been p*** me off as always.

    Have swelling gum.

    Terror Attack in Manchester & London.

    Big Ben be slient for 4 years.

    Got new sofa, I don’t like. It’s two person sofa and can’t lay on it.

    Seeing some statues taken down in America and protesters wanted them down.

     

    Also on 2017

    Got a shed

    New Sofa & chair

    New Dentist

    New Doctor (Haven’t book yet)

    In Doctor Who, The Doctor become a Woman.

     

    2018

    At moment, not sure. There movies to look forward and planing a holiday and planning which places to go. Also World Cup, Don’t care England win the World Cup f*** anyone who disagree.

  6. Quick Review: Splatoon 2 (Nintendo Switch)

    This is a game that doesn't earn its praise, nor does it deserve it. While the base gameplay concept is fine and dandy, that is shooting ink everywhere and all that jazz, the actual PvP experience here is dreadful. You might think this game's whole point is ink spreading, but because of the maps and overall design, you will run into others constantly and the actual shooting mechanics show their true colors (pun?) within this combat. Aiming is horrible and twitchy. Using the analog stick feels so imprecise that any battle feels like a battle of pure luck, Considering you die within half a second anyways, that's what it all is, luck. There are also many weapon imbalances. Some weapons are terrible, while others are extremely overpowered. Weapons like the splatterscopes are far too slow for the whole objective, while weapons like the brushes and sloshers are so broken that it is hilarious, such as how when you attack with these weapons, the person you are attacking can barely see because ink is being splashed all over the place. Any other weapons, mostly they feel the same. Many automatic weapons feel very similar to each other and the only major difference is with sub weapons and specials. Again, some of those suck, others are stupidly overdone.

    I wouldn't mind all of this garbage if the overall game didn't feel so irritating in its execution. Losing makes you lose points on your weapons freshness, so this means that no matter how well you do, which I frequently outperform my team on the ink spreading objective, if your team sucks, then you will be punished for it. What if your internet has a hiccup for no reason out of nowhere and you disconnect for a split second, leaving the match? You get punished, losing freshness points further. Hell, what if Nintendo's own servers commit suicide and disconnect you even before a match fully starts??? YOU. GET. PUNISHED. Had that happen once. A match was loading and right when it shows the map itself, I got disconnected out of nowhere and there were zero problems on my network, so it was clearly Nintendo's problem and I lost freshness points. Awesome. Yay.

    The only other diversions are the completely pointless single player campaign that offers no real reward for anything and Salmon Run, a hugely overrated horde mode that features a tiny map and bosses as far as the eye can see. It is challenge in the worst possible way, throwing so much at you that there is no way to deal with it.

    Above everything else, the game just feels like a chore. Want to level up for more weapons? Eventually, and by that I mean really friggin fast, it takes forever to level up even once. Which makes it all feel like a grind. How about abilities? Want to unlock those? A grind. What about ability chunks to get specific abilities that you actually want on a piece of gear that you like? A grind. What about taking chunks off of gear you don't like to use for others which costs 20,000 gold to do? Griiiiiiiiiiiiiiind. For some reason, nobody mentions this type of stuff because everyone thinks Nintendo is the beacon of perfection. They aren't and this game's glaring issues are a testament to that. Also, there is no voice chat at all or a proper party system, obviously. The only voice chat you can get is with Nintendo's terrible phone app and...screw that noise.

    All in all, I want to like this game. Seriously, I do. That makes me even more frustrated. This game has so many good ideas, but not good execution. Considering that this is a sequel, that makes it even more confusing.

    Final Score: 4/10

  7. Deltroz
    Latest Entry

          Just

                  Got

     a. Trail. Cammmmmm

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  8. "...Three words. That's all you have to do to make your dreams come true. So why not try? Are you afraid of losing a friend if it goes wrong?"

    "I am."

    "Don't worry about that, it's obvious that she likes you. Just say it. Everything worth doing is going to have a risk associated with it."

    After hearing that, my mind filled with all the thoughts of what could be if I confessed my love and what the future may look like.

    Late at night, she's cuddling up close to me on the couch and I'm listening to her talk about everything on her mind, and I can't help but smile when I hear her voice. We don't hang out often, but not all relationships need that. We're both independent souls that were looking for someone else to be our support and a shoulder to lay our head on when things got rough. This worked well for us, both having busy schedules with not much time to see each other. The days we do see each other are blessings. Nothing beats an anticipated hug from your special someone or a kiss during a romantic night together.

    Our lack of shared interests besides extra-curriculars never bothered me. That's not why I fell in love. For some reason, my heart decided that she's the one I want to open up to, become intimate with, the one I'd tell everything to, and become her protection and shoulder to lean on. Conversations are effortless, and she laughs at every joke I make, even if I don't find it too funny myself. The smiles and laughter have melted my icy heart since the day I met her. She knows my true colors, and I know hers. We aren't the normal type of couple around our school, but then again, our relationship has stood the test of time.

    She loves reading, and so do I given the right book. I'd take her to our local bookstore and spend time in there with her looking at new releases, music, and having conversations over coffee at their cafe. Cliche, right? It may be, but I love it. We're both relatively lacking in the sociability department, but I've gotten her introduced to my closest friends and they hit it off well. She still sits very close to me when we go to games, and I'll wrap my arm around her and give her a smile. We'll have deep conversations together, laugh together, enjoy each night together. Each date is special and just as amazing as the first.

    And when I take her home, before she steps out of the car, we kiss, and I feel like I did the first night I asked her out all over again. She steps out of the car, and I have a sense of thankfulness wash over me.

    I am so glad I decided to confess my feelings.

    Of course, this is all what could happen.

     

  9. [STORY TIME]

     

    It was a chilly evening in the Doodleybob Forest, and a number of critters were just getting ready for bed... but not Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie.  He was getting ready for the slumber party he had been planning all week, and his little whiskers twitched with excitement as he busily prepared for his guests.

    There was a lettuce leaf he'd been keeping nice and crisp in the river water, and a stray gumdrop he had rescued from the sidewalk, and a big ol' chunk of oozy, gooey apple dropped from a pie, and a whole thimbleful of cheese cracker crumbs.  All of these were laid out carefully, ready for Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie's guests to arrive.

    The first one to arrive at the slumber party was Shiny The Toy Robot, with his oversized gym sock as his sleeping bag.  He had also brought some screws to nibble on - but Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie politely declined, as he couldn't eat metal like Shiny could. 

    Next was Dinah Squirrel, and she didn't bring a sleeping bag.  "When I lie down, I cover myself with my big, bushy-wushy tail," she explained.  She had also brought some acorn cookies, which Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie knew she would share with him.

    Soon after, Stevie The Stork knocked at the door, with his long and lanky leg.  He had a school backpack with him, and he said it was his favorite sleeping bed, so he just brought it along.  He had also brought along some fresh cherries from Miss Avery's garden, across the way.  They were as big as Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie's whole head!

    Last, but not least, Big Joe Toad showed up.  He had brought an old oven mitt, which fit him perfectly and looked funny, as his big ribbity eyes were all that peeked out of it when he put it on!  He hadn't brought any food, but he did bring a big bottle of grape juice.  Even picky ol' Rocky The Rabbit, who usually grumbled about everyone, had to admit - Big Joe Toad always had some mighty fine grape juice.

    Once everyone was there, they all settled around and began to tell ghost stories. 

    Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie told the tale of the big, black snake that lived near the forest, and the others laughed and huddled in their sleeping stuff. 

    Shiny told them a story about a mad scientist, and they squealed in fearful glee. 

    Dinah told a story about the ghost under the Cobble Street Bridge, and she made scary sounds and faces to go with them.  

    But when Stevie started on his own story about a mysterious knocking at the door, they all jumped and shrieked when there really WAS a knock at the door!

    "I-i-is it a gh-gh-gh-gh-ghost?"  Stevie asked as he shivered in fright.

    "Is i-i-it a m-m-mad scientist?"  Dinah squeaked from behind her tail, where she was hiding.

    "IS IT A BLACK SNAKE?"  Shiny said - he didn't shiver because robots don't shiver when they're scared.

    And Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie was absolutely petrified; he couldn't move a single inch, and his little whiskers jittered and shook with fear.

    But Big Joe Toad wasn't afraid - not even a little bitty bit!  He got up out of his oven mitt and went right to the door, opening it juuuuuuuuust a peek to see who was outside.

    But that was some dumb shit to do.

    Into the home of Mr. Puff-Puff barged none other than Mean Myrna Mole and Argyle Fox!  They slammed through the doorway, and both of them grabbed Big Joe Toad by his froggy neck.

    "PAYBACK'S A BITCH, MUTHAFUCKA!" yelled Argyle as he slammed his steel crowbar across the top of Joe's head, smashing his left eye into a pulp.  Myrna was busily and rapidly shanking Joe's right side with a long, sharp shard of glass.

    The other critters screamed as they watched bloody vengeance being served in the most fucked up way possible - by ambushing a toad at a slumber party.  Myrna howled with laughter as she twisted the glass shard in his side, and Argyle began to curbstomp his amphibious ass.

    Stevie The Stork collapsed into a heap in the corner, pissing himself thoroughly.  Dinah Squirrel began slowly yanking out the fur in her tail as she watched, and kept muttering gibberish as she watched the carnage unfurl.  Shiny simply shut down - but it would take years of corrective programming to fix his roboty soul.

    And Mr. Puff-Puff Mousie just screamed and screamed and screamed.

     

    {Da Moral}:

    Ain't shit.

     

  10. I couldn't think of a creative title.

    I woke up pretty late this morning (11ish) and I was in a pretty good mood. I do my usual routine, (shave, get dressed, eat breakfast) and I turn on my laptop so I can have some sweet sweet gaming time. I have the entire day to myself, so I want to make the most of it. So I turn my laptop on, it shows the splash screen and then it throws an error. At this point I'm pretty confused, so I turn it off and on about three times until I realise, the hard drive crashed. I checked the warranty and it's eligible for 12 months. I did the math and I'm 18 days ineligible. Thanks, I needed that.

    Luckily, I bought another computer back in October. Tomorrow I'm going to see my grandparents, so while I'm there I'll pick up a monitor and keyboard from their house. They've had them since 2005 and they don't use it, so at least I'll be able to put it to some use. 

    My purple headset may also crap out soon. The audio seems to be heavily decreasing in quality, but then again I've had them since 2014.

    And last Friday, my watch fried out because I got too much water in it.

    Jesus, how much stuff do I need to replace?

    Also, school starts in over 2 weeks, so I'll have to start going to bed early and waking up early. Hooray.

    Well, I guess I better go back to playing Turtles in Time.

  11. MMS-10TIHAM.thumb.png.834510d69379a6862ed48c86e82f85b9.png

    Hello everyone. Woohoo here with another entry of Musical Manslaughter, because you can't spell 'slaughter' without 'laughter' and these songs are jokes.

    Now with my previous entries, I tore apart individual songs. For this entry, I'm doing something different... I mean way different.  I'm going to list the ten things in music that I hate. I may love music but there are some things in music that make my face go full on Yellow Diamond. Trying to find only ten things was a bit difficult. Also, these things I hate are in no particular order so you won't see a "ten, nine, eight," etc.

    Alright, enough of my shuckin' and jivin', here are the 10 things I hate about music...


    Auto-Tune

    AutoTuneLive-e-large.jpg?v=eaee34197e07e274

    This one is pretty obvious as almost everyone has torn Auto-Tune a new one. What I hate the most about Auto-Tune is its use... or should I say its misuse. When Auto-Tune first came out in the late 90s, it was mainly used a special effect. It's first notable use was in Cher's 1998 #1 hit "Believe."

    cc6c698501822ae7493370074aadbbb3.500x270x13.gif

    Nowadays, for the most part, it's used a crutch for "singers" who can't even carry a tune. Another thing I hate is the sound. It sounds so mechanical and unnatural, almost like a robot is singing. Where's the heart? While Auto-Tune might be useful for covering up the occasional vocal mistake, sometimes it makes the mistakes even more noticeable. A big example is Emma Watson's singing in the live action Beauty and the Beast remake. Why are artists and producers so obsessed with everything being pitch-perfect? Do they think the listener would be bothered by a few flat/sharp notes?! I'm not bothered by flats and sharps, but jarring pitch shifts and stuttering do.

    I don't mind Auto-Tune as an effect, but as a crutch... STOP! Just stop! By the way, if you're looking for someone to blame for Auto-Tune, don't blame Cher. That's like blaming the Wright Brothers for 9/11. 


    Fade-Outs

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    This one is pretty nitpicky but fade-outs are something that's always gotten under my skin. To me, fade-outs are a cop out. They're bland, uncreative, lazy, and they make the songs sound incomplete. It just feels like artists didn't feel like writing a proper outro so they just kept playing while their producer slowly turns down the volume. Another thing I hate is that fade-outs tend to drag on for way too long, which just makes me want to hit the "next song" button on my player. The worst is when a fade-out is used over an amazing guitar solo. Why would you fade out your own work?! :confused:

    These were extremely rampant from the 50s through 2000s. Nowadays, fade-outs have largely... faded away.

    dee67224b57bf5eec52ac52e6b94015babff1f8f?url=http%3A%2F%2Ffc03.deviantart.net%2Ffs70%2Ff%2F2012%2F014%2Fe%2F9%2Fpinkie_pie_rimshot_by_perinigricon-d4mbib9.gif


    Songs That Start With The Chorus

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    I couldn't really find a good picture for this one. Another nitpicky one but I hate it when songs start with the chorus. To me, they feel like a quick and sleazy way to get the listener hooked. In my opinion, I prefer being warmed up with an intro and verse before getting to the chorus. I view the chorus of a song as the cream filling of an Oreo or the Tootsie center of a Tootsie-Pop. Starting the song with the chorus just spoils the song for me. It also makes the chorus much more repetitive (I'll get to that later.)

    There are only a handful of songs I like that start with the chorus, such as Guns N' Roses' "Paradise City," Cher's "If I Could Turn Back Time," Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girls," and a few others. Meanwhile, some of my least favorite songs do this, including Charlie Puth's "Marvin Gaye," Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood," ABBA's "Dancing Queen," Starship's "We Built This City," Wham's "Last Christmas," and the list goes on. Again, this one is very nitpicky. 


    Songs That Run Too Long

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    Before I tear into this one, let me say that I love long songs, but only if they're done right and most of the time, they are. However, there are some songs that are seven, eight, or well over ten minutes long when only half the time is needed. The biggest offenders in my eyes, or should I say ears, are "Hey Jude" by The Beatles, "American Pie" by Don McLean, and "St. Anger" by Metallica. "Hey Jude" starts of promising for the first three minutes, but the last four minutes of relentless "Na-na-na-nas" utterly ruin the song for me. "American Pie" is nothing but verse-chorus-verse-chorus and a slight tempo change for a whopping eight and a half minutes. Boring! With "St. Anger," who knows what Metallica were thinking, especially since they've made some amazing long songs. These songs really should be only four or at most five minutes long.

    In my opinion, the best long songs are the ones they don't feel long and you hope would never end. Some great examples include Rush's "2112," Pink Floyd's "Echoes," Iron Maiden's "Rime of the Ancient Mariner" and many more. If you're going to make a long song, at least make it interesting. Don't be afraid to be creative. :proud:


    Bad Audio Mixing

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    Have you ever listened to a song and it's so loud that it feels your eardrums might explode? So you turn it down to a comfortable level only for the next song/part of the song to be so quiet you can barely hear it? How about when the music drowns out the vocals and vice-versa? That's bad mixing and I hate it, especially the ongoing "Loudness War." An infamous example of the Loudness War's effect was Metallica's 2008 album "Death Magnetic." A pretty good album but the mix is so loud that it's difficult to hear at a comfortable level. I would have to change volume constantly.

    Why can't these big time artists and producers mix their goddamn audio right?! Are they that oblivious?! Why am I asking these questions?! Time to move on...


    Songs With "Featured" Artists

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    I don't really mind this, but lately it's getting on my nerves. Some recent examples of this include "Baby" by Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, "Bad Blood" by Taylor Swift featuring Kendrick Lamar, "Right Round" by Flo Rida featuring Ke$ha, and "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry featuring Juicy J. What bothers me the most about this is it just feels like a commercial for the featured artist. They're usually there for less than a minute, sometimes a bit more, and they're done. It almost feels like they're featured just for a paycheck... wait. Another thing is they're not given a whole lot of time to shine. Why have them in your song if you're not going to fully utilize their talent? They really should be called "sponsored" instead of "featured."

    Once again, I don't mind this. It has been done right before, such as "Under Pressure" by Queen and David Bowie. At least Bowie wasn't treated like a background singer and shared roughly the same amount of lines as Freddie Mercury. But these recent examples just make me shake my head... and not in a good way. >_>


    Annoying Vocalizations

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    This thing I hate is pretty layered so let me break it down for you...

    1. Non-lexical vocables: If you don't know what these are, they are nonsense syllables like "la-las," "na-nas," "doot-dos," "woo-oohs," "hey-heys," "yeah-yeahs," etc. I've always hated these; they're so ridiculous and stupid. I always cringe if they're used as legitimate lyrics, such as "Hey Jude" and "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye." Blech! How about using some actual words!

    2. Elongating Words: This one's nitpicky but I hate when a single word is stretched out to fill a measure. One big example of this that pisses me off is... say it with me now...

    "AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOU." -Whitney Houston

    ...And I will always loathe that song because of that. There's nothing impressive about elongating the letter I. It just makes my vocal cords crawl.

    3. Poor Enunciation: This pisses is me off the most. I absolutely hate not being able to understand the words of a song. I've heard enunciations so poor that they sound like a different language. Why be a singer if we can't even understand what the fuck you're singing?! :angry:


    Love Songs

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    Aside from a very, VERY, VERY select few, I... really... hate... love songs! I can say, without a doubt, that love is the most oversung topic in the history of music. Most love songs to me are just "I love you, you love me," mixed in with some pathetically cheesy lines, overused rhymes like girl/world and fire/desire, all laid on top of some slow and sappy melody and beat. I also feel the same way with sex songs and breakup songs. Why the hell can't you sing about something else?! There's a whole lot more to life than love! :eww:

    Then again, maybe I just hate love songs because I'm forever alone...

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    Incessant Overplaying Of Popular Songs

    PLAY THAT SONG AGAIN I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU,MOTHERF**KER! | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

    Do you ever get annoyed with hearing the same old songs everyday? I sure as hell am! In the spoiler below is a short list of what I consider to be the most overplayed songs ever...

     

     

    • Don't Stop Believin' - Journey
    • Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard
    • Livin' on a Prayer - Bon Jovi
    • We Will Rock You/We Are The Champions - Queen
    • Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
    • Stairway to Heaven - Led Zeppelin
    • You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC
    • Shake It Off - Taylor Swift*
    • Any Christmas songs
    • Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses
    • Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
    • Foot Loose - Kenny Loggins
    • Enter Sandman - Metallica
    • Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
    • Every Breath You Take - The Police*
    • Born in the USA - Bruce Springsteen
    • Iron Man - Black Sabbath
    • You Got Another Thing Comin' - Judas Priest
    • I Will Always Love You - Whitney Houston*
    • Like a Virgin - Madonna
    • Come Together - The Beatles
    • Free Fallin' - Tom Petty
    • Call Me Maybe - Carly Rae Jepsen
    • Hello - Adele*
    • My Heart Will Go On - Celine Dion*
    • Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison
    • Believe - Cher
    • Firework - Katy Perry
    • Rock You Like A Hurricane - Scorpions
    • I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
    • Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley
    • Chandelier - Sia*
    • Dancing Queen - ABBA*
    • YMCA - Village People
    • And many more...

    * means I hate the song

     

    OK, it's not really a short list but you get the idea. I don't hate all of these songs but some I've heard so many times that hearing even the slightest note makes my face contort with annoyance.

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    Why do radio stations insist on constantly playing the same old songs? Because they're popular? Have they ever heard of variety?! There's a whole lot more to these artists than just their hits. It's not just on radio, but in TV shows, commercials, movies, video games, and other media. Like I said earlier, I don't hate all the songs I listed, but there is one song in particular that I absolutely loathe because of its incessant overplaying. If you haven't already guessed, it's Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off." When that song was released, I could not escape it. Everywhere I went, I heard that abomination of a song. Hell, I remember one day in November 2014 where I heard it playing on five different stations at almost the exact same time!

    See the source image

    For the love of all that is holy, play something else! I don't care if it's #1 on the charts, PLAY... SOMETHING... ELSE!!


    Rampant Repetition

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    Out of all the things I hate in music, this one angers me the most. I'm fully aware music is built on repetition, but there are some songs, especially recently, that are so goddamn repetitive! Some recent examples include Taylor Swift's "Shake It Off," Justin Bieber's "Baby," and Carly Rae Jepsen's "I Really Like You." These three songs have one thing in common, they repeat a single word in their title over 50 FUCKIN' TIMES! Some artists are guilty of this, not just today's, but music legends have done this as well. You wanna know how many "na-na-nas" are in "Hey Jude?" 162! What were they thinking?! Sometimes it's not just single words or vocables that are overly repeated, but entire verses and chorus, too. I especially hate it when the chorus is overly repeated at the end of the song. Do I really need to give an example of this? It's almost as worse as a fade-out. 

    It just makes me wonder, do they really think that the more they repeat something, the catchier it'll be? The world may never know. In my opinion, there is a very fine line between "catchy" and "annoying" and most songs either just cross it or obliterate it. I would rant more about repetition, but then I'd be repeating myself.

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    And those are the 10 things I hate about music. This is a blog I've wanted to make for a while but didn't have the inspiration... which I finally got when I watched TJ Kirk's "21 Things I Hate About Movies" video. What are things in music that you hate? Leave a comment down below. This is Woohoo, signing off. 

  12. mylittleponyposter.jpg

    Good evening, everypony, and welcome back to another edition of "Batbrony Reviews"!  Well, I have some catching up to do on a few very important reviews, and what better place to start than with the momentous "My Little Pony: The Movie" (2017).  The first feature length film featuring the canon ponies of Generation 4 (not counting the previous first Equestria Girls film that had a limited theatrical run, though it is worth pointing out that those were not considered canon when first released, but rather only just confirmed as being in continuity as of the Season 7 finale), "My Little Pony: The Movie" is a testament to the remarkable run that G4 MLP:FiM has had as well as the sheer size of the fandom it has generated.  It is undoubtedly by this point one of the most popular and profitable media franchises owned by Hasbro, and even though Transformers may be more profitable still (though their box office returns have been dwindling quite a bit as of late), MLP is undoubtedly one of the most, if not the most, critically acclaimed television or film media currently being produced by Hasbro.  Thus, a film was inevitable, and many were actually surprised it took this long to put one out into theaters, but it finally happened, and thus, just before the conclusion of MLP:FiM's seventh season, well over 150 episodes into the show, we finally got a theatrical feature for MLP:FiM.  Was the wait worth it?  Well, let's find out, without further ado, this is "Batbrony Reviews: My Little Pony: The Movie."

    WARNING: This should go without saying, but there are indeed LOTS of spoilers below.  If you haven't seen the movie yet, this is your last chance to turn back now if you don't want it spoiled.

    A short disclaimer before I begin.  Unlike many of my reviews, which either focus on specific characters involved or dissect every intricate detail of an episode, this will be a far more general review, even compared to my season finale/season in review blogs.  My reasoning?  Simple: this movie is 99 minutes long, packed with more actual content than even any episodes ever have been (including two-parters), though that is not to say it necessarily has more depth than any MLP episode ever has.  But the film, I believe, must be analyzed as its own property within the MLP:FiM universe, not necessarily how it relates that much to the continuity of the show itself since it's not required to watch the show to understand what's going on (at least, not entirely).  It is a part of the show, it is a part of the show's universe, but it is still it's own story, and while there is some chance we may yet see characters or species even introduced in the movie end up in the show, the movie in the long run will only have so much of an impact on the show itself.  Therefore, I'll break this review down into five simple categories: Story, Characters, Music, Animation, Themes.  That should give a solid enough overview of every important aspect of the film without becoming overly long or tedious.  With that out of the way, let's begin.

    Princess Skystar by mysticalpha

    Story

    The story follows a familiar pattern for longtime fans of the show (at least in its general structure), but in its set up serves as a solid format for introducing newcomers to the show, in a sense.  The Mane 6 and everypony else in Equestria are putting on a Festival of Friendship at Canterlot, and Twilight, of course, is nervous as hell about making sure everything goes right.  After her friends reassure her that everyone will come together and do their part, Tempest Shadow, the right hand mare of the Storm King, arrives with a large part of his fleet of airships and attacks Canterlot!  Three of the princesses are magically imprisoned, Twilight escapes with her friends, and they go on a number of adventures to enlist the aid of the Hippogriffs, who turn out to be hiding away under their traditional homeland beneath the sea as Sea Ponies.  While their plans do not go as hoped, they still manage to make some new friends and allies, and in the end, take down the Storm King, reform Tempest Shadow and many of his defeated forces (namely Grubber), and free the princesses, Canterlot, and the rest of Equestria from his tyrannical grip (not to mention everyone else he'd been terrorizing for some time).  Lessons were learned, friendships were made or reaffirmed, and fun and adventure was had by all.  The End.

    Let's get this out of the way right now.  This is not the best story that MLP has ever had, and if you're expecting that, you're going to be disappointed.  Long time fans, in my opinion, should not go into it expecting this or even wanting this.  The nature of a film based on such a long running series as MLP:FiM is not to be the pinnacle of the series itself.  That is a disservice to both the fans of the show and moviegoers who have never seen one minute of the show before.  Instead, a movie based off of a cartoon show that has been running this long (though I suppose it should apply to any show that has been running this long, even if others may have to deal with fitting into their show's continuity more depending on the nature of the show itself) is to give an accurate representation of what the show itself is all about.  What are the core themes, who are the main characters and what are they like, and what is the general nature of the show as a whole and how it is executed.  An older example of this (which, appropriately enough, our beloved Lauren Faust was closely involved with, having written the screenplay) is "The Powerpuff Girls Movie" from 2002, directed by Faust's husband, Craig McCracken.  McCracken, Faust, and their team set out to accomplish the same exact thing that MLP:FiM: The Movie does, give audiences a general idea of who the Powerpuff Girls are, what they do, and why the show as a whole is worth watching, and they did it splendidly.  This movie does the same about as well as the former did, in two important respects: it is a general enough affair that most general audiences could at least find something positive out of it without complaining about not knowing the show's continuity, but at the same time it does not compromise itself inordinately for the sake of newcomers, to the detriment of long time fans of the show.  This is unashamedly an MLP:FiM movie, and it embraces every element that the fans of the show love, and that the creators of the show KNOW the fans love.  It simply presents all of these elements in film format, not for television, so the pacing is slowed down, there are some longer conversations, and at times a tad bit of redundancy since, let's be honest, this crew is not used to creating something this long, but never in a bad way.  The beats and general progression of the film are fairly predictable, but again, this is not bothersome if you accept the movie for what it is, something that is more interested in executing itself with its own unique identity as opposed to its structure being original or unique.  The core themes of the show, at the end of the day, remain at the film's core, tying everything together: the power of friendship, adventure, humor, perseverance in the face of insurmountable odds, fun, exciting, and exotic settings, both old and new, and the capacity for new friendships to either emerge from hardship, struggle, and even hatred and conflict, and for old friendships to survive true adversity and trials.  These were all there, and since they were, even if it was hardly the most nuanced or complex story ever presented by MLP:FiM in any format, I was still completely satisfied by the experience for what it was, especially because it was so confident in what it was and sure of itself.  Overall, this was exactly the story this movie needed to deliver.

    Characters

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    Unlike the aforementioned Powerpuff Girls Movie, "My Little Pony: The Movie" actually opted to add a bevvy of new characters, many of whom we probably won't see in the show again (though I know there's more than a few I wouldn't mind seeing again).  This was probably mostly to help fill more of the film's running time, and that's fine, because they never felt like that's all they were doing.  Every new character served a purpose and was very enjoyable to watch in their own way for unique reasons.  Capper was a delightful, suave con artist who went through a nice redemption arc, Captain Celaeno and the Sky Pirates were a lot of fun to watch and not nearly as awkward as they appeared they could have been in some of the trailers, fitting into the overall flow of the movie just fine, Queen Novo was fun when she showed up but sadly didn't feature more (and was also pretty believable as another one of this world's rulers along with Equestria's princesses given how ardent she was in looking out for her people), I cannot rave ENOUGH about Kristin Chenoweth's Princess Skystar, who was every bit as adorable as I thought she would be (not to mention the added bonus of getting some Chenoweth vocals in MLP: The Movie did not hurt one bit), Songbird Serenade, by far the least developed of the new characters, still served her purpose well enough with some smashing great vocals from her VA, Sia, Grubber was surprisingly quite funny and even though he was clearly there just to be a comedic foil, it never got irritating to me, and the Storm King, while not nearly as threatening in demeanor as Tirek, Discord (when he was still a villain), Queen Chrysalis, or even Nightmare Moon, was the perfect villain for this movie, and hats off to Liev Schreiber for genuinely having fun with his performance.

    MLP the Movie - I'm the Friend You Need by Edowaado

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    Shelly Sheldon by Jowybean

    Edgy Unicorn by epesi

    The standout of the new characters was, of course, Emily Blunt's outstanding Tempest Shadow (a.k.a. Fizzlepop Berrytwist), who serves as the primary villain for most of the film before the Storm King shows up near the end and she completes her character arc of getting reformed.  This character is undoubtedly where the movie's writing is at its strongest.  Unfortunately some might draw lazy parallels between her and Starlight, but the fact of the matter is that, even though their backstories and redemption arcs have some broad similarities, the specifics are far more different and nuanced.  Starlight didn't believe in cutie marks to begin with, but never expressed a desire to be a loner until her revenge plot against Twilight (even then, her working by herself was more circumstantial than anything else).  She wanted to be a part of something special, hence why she started her "utopian" community in the first place; she wanted a place to belong to that she felt functioned as an ideal home and society should.  Tempest, on the other hand, by the start of the film has completely turned her back on ponies in general, not just an aspect of pony biology or what it means for pony society.  She's far more anger-driven than Starlight ever was, and her purpose is singular: she wants to feel like a real unicorn again.  She's extremely self-conscious, even troubled, by the injuries she sustained as a foal at the claws of an Ursa Minor that disfigured her and, most notably, cleaved off most of her horn, and she is willing to do anything, even doom all the other ponies of Equestria - since in her mind, none of them were able to help her anyway all these years, so why should she care about them now when they never cared for her - to get it restored and feel whole again.  It's quite a tragic backstory, a little more on the nose than Starlight's, but still relatable, especially for anyone who has disabilities or disfigurements of their own and has ever felt like an outcast or not whole because of it.  She even was willing to turn to the Storm King for help just because she believed even he of all people actually would help her, and clearly even the slightest chance that anypony cared about her was what she wanted more than anything else; unfortunately, as it turned out, not only did the Storm King end up betraying, but he really couldn't have cared less, and that flippant attitude of his actually really made his betrayal of Tempest all the more hurtful.  He didn't do it out of purposeful maliciousness, he just didn't give a shit to begin with, and for a pony like Tempest, so desperate for any measure of love or care, such a glib attitude about her problems had to hurt more than even deliberate hatred from him would have. Thankfully, through a combination of words and deeds, Twilight and her friends are able to show Tempest the light by the end of the movie, and she in turn turns her back on the Storm King and helps them all save the day, finally finding a place among her kind, even without her horn restored.

    Guess what movie I saw by Segraece

    Of all of the new characters who should make a return to the show, Tempest is by far the one I'd like to see the most, though I'd certainly love to see them all at some point again (aside from the Storm King of course, considering he kinda caught a case of "death-by-shattering-into-a-million-pieces-of-stone-itis"), including Grubber, the Sky Pirates, Capper, and most definitely Queen Novo, Princess Skystar, and the other Sea Ponies/Hippogriffs (one has to wonder now if they'll end up all becoming hippogriffs again now that the Storm King is no longer threatening their land).  Every single one of their celebrity voice actors, from Emily Blunt, Liev Schreiber, Kristin Chenoweth, Michael Peña, Sia, Taye Diggs, Zoe Saldana, and Uzo Adaba, all did a smashing good job, did not sound in the slightest like they were phoning in their performances, and seemed to genuinely enjoy playing these roles, and I commend them all for that, especially Blunt, who probably had the hardest job of the bunch in having to play as serious and straight of a role as Tempest Shadow.  Other children's television shows and movie adaptations, take notes, THIS is how you make great use of celebrity guest actors; you give them actually important, well-written characters to work with, not just sloppily put together and poorly thought out roles that solely exist to make room for the celebrities themselves (I'm looking at you Disney, wasting Kristin Chenoweth of all people in dreck as bad as Descendants, FOR SHAME!!!).

    As for the returning cast, most of them had strong showings and all of them were exactly in character as they should be.  The two exceptions are Fluttershy and Applejack; while both of them had a few moments here and there, neither of them had too much time explicitly devoted to featuring them, especially Fluttershy, and that's a damn shame.  It wasn't bad enough that I think the movie's creators did them wrong or anything, not at all, it just felt like when it came down to picking who they were gonna focus on, they took the easy route and chose the more flamboyant and energetic characters from the Mane 6 with the biggest fanbases to feature, so it's just disappointing that longtime fans didn't get to see Fluttershy and Applejack really shine in a feature length film and first time viewers didn't get to see what makes these two characters so very special.  That said, they had enough moments that I was sated with what we got, and they probably still got more moments than Spike did (who oddly enough probably had fewer major moments than Grubber did, which is just weird, but he had his moments too nonetheless).  After that, Rarity probably had the 4th most amount of screentime of any Mane 6 character, and while she didn't get her own solo song number like Pinkie Pie and Rarity did, she still sang a few times and did get a wonderful scene where she got to display her generosity to Capper, which started his path to reform in a quiet and very nicely handled way.  She also got some of the biggest laughs of the movie, more so I would argue in her visual humor than in any of her lines; I mean don't get me wrong, Tabitha was as funny as ever, but the animators made full use of a character as flamboyant as her and gave her some wildly funny expressions and visual gags (my personal favorite being her checking her appearance in a mirror in the middle of falling to her doom, good Lord that was perfect :D).  Rainbow Dash had a very strong showing for the most part and got about as much screentime as I'd expect her to get in a movie like this, but thankfully it never felt like they were egregiously turning the movie into "The Rainbow Dash Show" just to sate or please her huge fanbase, and her shining moment in inspiring Captain Celaeno and the Sky Pirates felt perfect for her, so I can't fault the writers for giving her that.  Intriguingly enough, not just Twilight but Pinkie Pie as well were the two most important members of the Mane 6 here, and while for one that's hardly surprising, for the other it is slightly more so, but I think I know why.  Twilight featuring front and center for the Mane 6 isn't surprising at all, and I long ago accepted that she will always be the main character of this show (even if one could argue she was not the most important character in certain seasons like Season 7).  For a movie, it makes perfect sense that the centerfold character should feature more than anyone else.  What was somewhat annoying was that we went through very old Twilight problems in a large amount of this film, like her worrying too much about a special event going correctly, or her losing faith in the power of friendship and trying to do things the easy way instead.  Despite the size of the threat, and it was a major threat, make no mistake, it still felt a little tired to go through these problems for Twilight between Season 7 and Season 8, and it kind of reinforces arguments that this movie should have come out sooner; if this had happened in canon anywhere from Season 3 to Season 5 I probably could have bought Twilight being this insecure about these things, but she hasn't been such a worry wart in quite a long time now.  I believe it was mostly so that newer audiences could get an idea for what things Twilight tends to worry about, as well as simply because it gave the film some more conflict for the Mane 6 itself (not to mention it tied Twilight's arc somewhat into Tempest's as well), so for the most part its forgivable enough, but it definitely feels redundant at times.  However, Pinkie Pie as the second most important member of the crew was not an issue at all.  At first glance it seems fairly obvious that she'd be one of the top 3 most featured characters of the group considering she has a large following, is very recognizable, and is already the funniest pony out of the bunch, or at least the biggest source of comedy (as she easily is here).  But interestingly enough she was NOT just comedic relief, and that's where her performance was truly outstanding.  Pinkie Pie, while not stupid by any stretch of the imagination, has in my opinion the simplest and most basic belief in the power of the friendship between herself and all her friends.  That's not to insult her understanding of it or anything, it's just not really nuanced or complex for her (not taking some of her past insecurities into account, of course); she knows it's a wonderful thing, she believes in it more easily than any of her other friends, and she never loses faith in it or what it can accomplish.  Facing as big of a threat as they do, that faith is incredibly important, and Pinkie frequently keeps the group going and does her best to bolster spirits however she can without largely ever batting an eye, and this is best displayed in two scenes.  First, she tries to get exactly what they need from the sea ponies simply by showing them that the ponies are worth caring about through the simplest of actions, showing that they themselves care about the sea ponies and are willing to give them their time, even as their home is threatened and in terrible danger, enjoying the simplest of activities with one another because the sea ponies could use it, having had it pretty rough for some time hiding away from the rest of the world.  And the best part is that was all going to work, before Twilight tried stealing the sea ponies magical pearl behind their backs and got the group banished.  Afterwards, her next most important scene happens when Pinkie finally angrily confronts Twilight about her losing her faith in their friendship and trying to do things the wrong way, and in that moment she is the perfect choice for expressing the entire group's feelings towards Twilight.  It's a rough scene to watch, but it makes sense why she's so angry seeing her longtime friend completely turn her back on doing things the right way, the way they know will work even if it's not always easy.  It's raw, it's powerful, and it's one of Pinkie's most mature scenes ever.  So her serving as the heart of the group here worked just fine by me, especially when one considers that this is but one of their dozens of adventures that they've had by now, and that all of them have had different moments to shine in each and every one.  Someone is always stepping up when the moment calls for it, and this time it just so happened to be Pinkie, who as far as I'm concerned had the best arc of them all, especially since Twilight's was a little more standard and predictable for her and this kind of movie.  That said, on the whole I thought that all of the Mane 6 (and Spike) had as a group the movie they needed; like many of their earlier adventures, this was most definitely more ensemble performance of the group as a whole than any one character (besides Twilight and to some extent Pinkie) dominating most of the screen time, and seeing as for many people this would be their first exposure to the Mane 6, it makes perfect sense that this is how the movie's creators would want to portray them.  The nuance and complexity we longtime fans know is there for all of them is for the show itself, while here, we got mostly the basics, but also enough information that it was clear there's a lot of history and complexity to these characters beneath the surface.  I'm having a hard time imagining how it really could have been better for them, so as far as I'm concerned, this was exactly the showing we deserved from our favorite group of ponies.

    Captain Celaeno by StarBlaze25

    Skystar by FantasyInsanity

    As for supporting characters and background ponies, believe it or not, they didn't have nearly as much to do as we usually have come to expect from them.  I suppose the princesses getting into trouble was nothing new on their end, but even the background ponies didn't do much in their cameos aside from look miserable a lot once they'd been enslaved by the Storm King's forces.  Overall this wasn't terribly surprising given that the movie had so many new characters to introduce (who had background characters themselves, including an adorable sea pony foal who had some incredibly cute cameos).  HOWEVER, there was a big, big, BIG exception to that general rule, one that pleased me GREATLY!  That's right, in a giant love letter to the fans, none other than the greatest background pony of them all, Derpy Hooves, quite intentionally took a figurative bullet for the team when she desperately shoved Twilight out of the way from a magically enchanted item that Tempest had thrown at her to turn her into stone, saving Twilight's life and pretty much saving the day in doing so.  Sure she spent the rest of the movie encased in stone, but by the end of it she was released and back to normal, good as new!  It's an awesome shoutout to the fandom and lovers of Derpy like myself, and of all the background ponies to get that kind of love, she deserved it more than anypony else.

    Music

    The music in this movie quite evidently channels the general sound and feel of more Broadway-esque Disney showtunes of the past, particularly the grandly staged numbers of the Disney Renaissance.  That doesn't mean like it ever feels like Daniel Ingram straight up lifted any tunes from Disney, oh no, it's just clear what his inspiration was.  On the contrary, the music is great as ever, and each piece (unlike more thematically consistent Disney pieces) feel very unique and like they could be in a different movie altogether, but here it works since they're usually staged in radically different settings.  The biggest exception to this rule, of course, is Sia's number at the end, but even that works just fine for what it is, even if it sounds the least like a song we'd expect to hear in this show.

    We Got This Together - The first number is a fun and fairly standard Mane 6 ensemble.  Nothing particularly notable about it aside from it having a very pleasant tune, and I never complain about all of the Mane 6 singing together (which happens in most song numbers in this film, but it is most deliberately centered on them here).  In fact I actually think the most memorable thing about this song is that it really was one of the first points where the movie truly got to show off its animation.  Sure we'd already seen how different it all looked for about 10 minutes by that point, but this gave us a fun tour around Canterlot for about three and a half minutes, and all with a fun song playing to go along with it.  A fun, solid opening number to be sure.

    I'm The Friend You Need - THIS song is where the movie's soundtrack really began to shine.  "We Got This Together" is a great number in its own right, but it also sounds very familiar for the show.  "I'm The Friend You Need," however is a tango sung by a male character (male characters of note being rare as it is in the show, it's even rarer one getting to sing), a style we've really never gotten to hear on the show before, and goodness me is it deliciously fun.  Taye Diggs's vocals especially sell the number, and its visuals are quite fun to boot, with the ponies unsettling settings delightfully contrasting their Equestrian-selves.

    Time To Be Awesome - "Time To Be Awesome," in my humble opinion, is actually Rainbow Dash's single best song ever.  It's kind of the anti-"I'll Fly" of her song numbers - while that song, from "Tanks for the Memories," has a good tune, it's also about her not giving a buck about how her trying to keep winter from happening is going to buck everypony else over all so she can just spend more time with Tank.  The message never sat right with me or many other Rainbow Dash fans, not because the show was trying to sell it as the right thing, but because by making it such an upbeat tune, they kinda made it sound like the Element of Loyalty quite literally stabbing everyone else in the back was a good thing.  "Time To Be Awesome," on the other hand, is the polar opposite.  It has Rainbow Dash channeling all of her best qualities to lift others up and remind them that if they're willing to do it, it's not so hard for anyone to be awesome.  That's Rainbow's loyalty at its best, when it inspires other to be their best selves.  It doesn't hurt that both Ashleigh Ball and Zoe Saldana absolutely kill it on their vocals, and the kickass Celtic/Gaelic instrumentals (at certain points, sometimes mixed in with a dash of pirate-tune instrumentals to give it a swashbuckling feel when some of the pirates sing their own verses, including one voiced by none other than Nicole Oliver) are quite awesome as well.  By far one of the best original tunes in the movie, it's only slightly soured by the fact that Rainbow Dash completely bucks everypony over, including the sky pirates she just inspired, when she hilariously unnecessarily does a Sonic Rainboom at the end, drawing the attention of Tempest Shadow and her forces. ^_^  But ah well, that's RD for ya, and we love her for it.

    One Small Thing - BY FAR my favorite song of the entire.  This song is catchy as hell.  Repeat after me.  This. Bucking. Song. Is. Catchy. As. Hell.  It is everything I would ever want musically out of an MLP movie number.  Memorable lyrics, a bouncy and deliciously fun tune, fun instrumentals, and bucking operatic singer Shannon-Chan Kent as Pinkie Pie and MOTHERBUCKING GEM OF BROADWAY Kristin Chenoweth as Princess Skystar.  Holy shit, that is a delicious duo of amazing singing voices that absolutely delivered 1000000%, seriously, my choral singing self was so pleased by this.  The second I heard Kristin Chenoweth was gonna be in this movie I could not wait to hear her sing in MLP and knew very well that her song could easily end up being my favorite of the movie, and my instincts were bucking right.  She and Shannon-Chan were gems together and the song itself is insanely fun.  On top of that, as with "Time To Be Awesome," it was yet another Mane 6 member at their best, this time Pinkie Pie getting to show how much just showing ponies a fun time can mean so much to them.  She helps an entire city of exiled hippogriffs come out of their shells and simply enjoy themselves without even asking for anything in return, and until Twilight was caught trying to steal the sea ponies magic pearl, it was going to actually turn the sea ponies/hippogriffs into their allies.  The way Kristin Chenoweth sells her own vocals, you can simply feel how much everything that Pinkie is doing for them means to them.  A song like this is MLP in its purest form and one of the biggest reasons I have always loved the show, and definitely ranks up their with some of Pinkie Pie's most legendary song numbers like "The Smile Song."

    This song is pure joy and I love it so much!!! :D

    Open Up Your Eyes - This is, objectively speaking, probably the best song in the movie in terms of what it does for the plot itself.  "Open Up Your Eyes" is not just a villain song, but a song that tells a story.  Tempest's story.  In it we get her entire worldview laid bare, and it's rather heart wrenching once it is all laid bare before us.  Tempest is simply a loner who, by and large doesn't put her faith or trust in pretty much anyone at all after feeling dejected for so much of her life as a result of her injuries and dangerous broken horn.  She only trusts raw power and those with it who she believes might actually care enough to help her, or at least give her what she wants if she does enough for them first.  What comes next for her after she fixes her horn, who knows?  We never get that far, and it doesn't seem clear that Tempest knows either what she ultimately wants.  First and foremost, she just wants to feel whole again, because she feels like that's the only way her life might mean anything again.  It's tragic, utterly tragic, and the soft visuals when her backstory unfolds make it even more so.  It looks like the memory of a child laid bare, something innocent that goes so terribly wrong because of one accidental moment that never should have happened and changed so much for her.  So as far as villain songs in general go, it's very unique.  It's not a villain just cackling out their plan in song, or how evil they are or how happy they are that they're about to win.  It's Tempest just telling Twilight a story and telling her to stop believing that her idea of Equestria and friendship is right, that the world is just a cold, dark place that will crush you if you let it, and the only way to keep that from happening is to crush others first.  Tempest isn't exactly happy about this, she just wholeheartedly believes it, and when we see that, we see just how tragic as a villain she is.  It's probably the best villain song that MLP has ever had and easily blows "This Day Aria," out of the water, though again, I must emphasize that it is hardly a traditional villain song, and may not even entirely fit that category.

    Rainbow - Sia sings a Sia song in MLP.  That's it.  What else do you want me to say?  I mean it's a good song, even if it is radically different from the rest of the movie's soundtrack.  I think what I most appreciated about it was that it was slow, like the movie was exhaling.  It could've taken an easy route and been faster and more upbeat, ya know, a kind of party dance tune like so many kids movies these days end with, but instead it went for something a bit more emotional and quiet, and I really liked that.  It doesn't feel like the ponies are moving on from a frantic climax to a frantic party, but instead are just breathing easily, enjoying one another's company quietly after saving the day yet again, and that everything is going to be OK, even for Tempest.  The single most disappointing thing about it really is simply that Sia's character was literally in this movie just to sing that song.  I mean, she shows up to Canterlot, sings some kind of awkward pop-jail number for 10 seconds (seriously, that was a weird scene and I have no idea why she of all ponies gave Twilight a meaningful look when she got back to Canterlot given that they'd known each other for a total of five bucking seconds), and then sings this song at the end.  Honestly I think it would have been better if she just straight up showed up at the end of the movie for the first time, like her travel was delayed or something.  At least it would have felt more honest then as opposed to her showing up at the beginning of the film.  But anyway, yeah, I liked this song a lot and had no trouble with it being at the end of the film.

    Songbird Serenade by EdoNovaIllustrator

    There's about seven other songs on the MLP: The Movie soundtrack, and I can't speak to all of them since I haven't heard all of them yet.  Some of them are covers of older songs, like their "Thank You For Being A Friend" cover (which is deliciously hilarious in concept but also is actually quite lovely the way they did it), and some are original numbers, like Lukas Graham's "Off To See The World," which you may have heard in the MLP: The Movie trailer and credits (and as much as I hate to admit it, I actually quite like the song, despite hating Lukas Graham and his annoying, smug Danish ass himself - seriously, who has a shoutout to themselves in one of their own songs about how humble they're supposed to be in the face of fame, that's so bucking stupid and asinine?!?!).  Overall, I'd say pretty much every soundtrack number from the movie itself is more than worth adding to your music library, and if you haven't done so, you really should, they're all quite excellent and perfect for this particular project, definitely some of Daniel Ingram's best work to date, especially given what he was asked to do in making music so different from MLP's normal fare.

    Animation

    The animation in "My Little Pony: The Movie" is radically different from the normal fare we're used to in the show.  The show utilizes about as advanced of Adobe Flash animation as one could possibly hope to achieve with that technology, but even so it is still distinctly CARTOON animation meant for television.  The movie, on the other hand, uses Toon Boom Harmony, which has been used by movies like "The Princess and the Frog" and television shows like "The Simpsons" (at least since the mid-2000s).  According to art director Rebecca Dart, they wanted to keep to the look and feel of the television show, and the use of Toon Boom Harmony enabled them to add "simple yet impactful changes" to the designs for the big screen, such as depth and shadows for their eyes and ears, and the impression of heart-shaped indentations on the bottom of their hooves.  Some CGI models are sprinkled here and there, especially for some of the larger ships or objects, and while they look a bit out of place they looked overall much better in the final product than they initially did in some of the early trailers.  Overall, while this animation is hardly groundbreaking or revolutionary, the distinctive look for this movie is very appreciated and very much sets it apart from the show and other MLP productions as its own uniquely animated feature.  It's so polished that you can't help but appreciate how much hard work the production crew put into bringing this movie to the big screen using a completely new animation style, and is one of the most apparent testaments as to how sincerely this production crew worked to make an actually, objectively good movie and not just a quick cash grab.

    Themes

    As I've said throughout this review, a movie based on a show as long-running as MLP:FiM has to try to encompass the most general, basic elements that have garnered the show as much of a fandom as it has built up through the years, and this applies to the themes of the movie as much as anything else.  They're probably the simplest part of the movie if I'm being honest, with the most complex elements entering in Tempest's story.  Just because they're simple, however, doesn't mean they're not delivered well.  The biggest theme that sits square at the center of the movie is just a downright simple, steadfast faith in the power of friendship to overcome all sorts of troubles that life may throw your way.  The Mane 6 don't just embody this in how they stick together throughout the film, but also in how everywhere they go, they affect someone else's lives with their friendship.  From Capper being reformed from his con artist ways after being touched by Rarity's simple act of generosity in fixing up his clothes, the Sky Pirates loyally standing by the ponies after Rainbow Dash inspires them to take up their Sky Pirate mantle once more, Pinkie Pie giving the sea ponies a day of joy and revelry like they haven't had in quite some time, and Twilight herself going out of her way to save Tempest even after all Tempest had done to almost destroy Equestria and her friends and loved ones.  Sure, this movie doesn't exactly create the wheel, but it is utterly confident in what its theme is, sticks to it, and executes it as proficiently as it could.  That right there, that focused and very clear-cut theme that is repeatedly reinforced through the movie, is very much worth commending given that so many children's films these days seem incapable of even justifying the reason for their existence and seem downright as aimless as they are pointless.

    SkyPie by Faline-art

    Concluding Thoughts

    This was the movie I wanted.  I'm not saying everyone else has to think of the film exactly as I did, but for me, a guy who's been a brony since 2012, this was exactly the feature length, theatrical film version of MLP:FiM that I have wanted for years.  It didn't try to do too much, but it also had a point and purpose for its existence.  It wasn't revolutionary, but it was clearly ambitious and well-crafted all the same.  It was mostly made for fans, but invited first-time viewers just enough that some might be willing to come back for seconds in the show itself if they paid attention closely enough.  Most importantly, it accurately reflected and embraced everything we've come to love about the show itself through the years, but simply did so in a film format.  At the end of the day, no matter how different it looks or sounds or how much longer it is or how many celeb voice actors it had, "My Little Pony: The Movie" is distinctly, unmistakably as much a part of that universe as anything from the show ever has been.  No compromise, no watering it down, this was a pure, unadulterated MLP:FiM experience, a love letter to Generation 4 of My Little Pony and all of its fans, and a true testament to how wildly popular this show still is and how loyal its fans remain to both the show itself, but more importantly, its core themes and messages.  As the old saying goes, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, and the creators of "My Little Pony: The Movie" clearly recognized that they didn't exactly have to change all that much in translating this television show to the big screen.  I thank them for that, for embracing this show and all of its elements, and for giving us a truly memorable, fun, and downright thoroughly enjoyable cinematic experience! :muffins:

    In a New Light by InuHoshi-to-DarkPen

  13. As you are aware, this year is the 35th Anniversary of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  But what's really surprising is that there will be tons of content coming out when it comes to the franchise.  So far, it's confirmed that one of the Equestria Girls Youtube specials will be due out next month based on the "Friendship to Remember" book.  But it doesn't look like Hasbro is gonna slow down, especially with the 2017 Movie out on DVD and Blu-Ray.  We know Season 8 is going to be Yuge, I mean Huge with the Friendship School as the theme, not to mention the return of Queen Chrysalis as well as another familiar foe.

    But it seems we're not gonna end there.  There's going to be more Equestria Girls specials this year following the Friendship to Remember adaption.  And there's rumors of a

    Holiday Special coming out that's about an hour long.

      But if you ask me, it seems Hasbro and the gang are pulling out all the stops for the big 35th Anniversary of My Little Pony.  Never have I seen so much content come out involving this franchise.  I feel as if this will be the BIGGEST year of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.  And when the year is over, I'm most likely to welcome the hiatus and take a good long break.

    As for me and my artwork, I am going to double down on it.  So far, I have released two drawings: One of Trixie and one of Starlight Glimmer.  A future drawing idea would include Starlight and Trixie enjoying some time in a hot tea bath, with a future Lord Tirek drawing I may consider.  Question is: What to put Tirek in?

  14. I'm working on a bigger drawing, so I did this Fluttershy for practice.

    5a55e29a09cb8_Butterpone.thumb.jpg.05563ed0e422a68868391a198d9d9232.jpg

    (Yes, I know her left eye looks weird. )

    And have a redraw while you're here:

    5a55df0b89aec_FriendshipProblemredraw.thumb.jpg.d7f0fe763a66753a7709c783f5999c64.jpg

    Original by metal-kitty

     

  15. Stole this from @SparkliciousSwirls, @Lightwinglicious (I ship them btw), and other's... Here we go:

    1. State something I learned about you by looking at your profile for 20 seconds.
    2. State a color you remind me of. 
    3. Name an element I think you belong to (water, fire, earth, air).
    4. Let you know which MLP character you remind me of.
    5. Ask you a question I want you to answer.
    6. Find something I actually find tolerable about you.
    7. Think of something to say if we were roommates.
    8. State the food/flavor/smell you remind me of. 
    9. Guess something about you.

    Here we go!

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    Recent Entries

    I stole this from @SparkliciousSwirls and @Lightwinglicious yay! :raritysillyhat:What are you waiting for? Dew it! 

    1.- State something I learned about you by looking at your profile for 20 seconds. 

    2.- State a color you remind me of.

    3.- Name an element I think you belong to (water, fire, earth, air).

    4.- Let you know which MLP character you remind me of.

    5.- Ask you a question I want you to answer.

    6.- Find something I actually find tolerable about you.

    7.- Think of something to say if we were roommates.

    8.- State the food/flavor/smell you remind me of.

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    Recent Entries

    Hello, everyone, I last visited this website on September 24, 2015. I lost my password, couldn’t recover, and decided to leave this site behind. I left the MLP wiki (my wikia username is Gavin the Otter, it used to be Spike the Dragon) later on in May 2016. I regret not leaving both sites sooner. 

    After almost 2 years of absence from the MLP fandom, and no intention to return, I’ve decided to just come back here one final time, to tell everyone where I am in life now.

    In about November 2014, I became really depressed, and it lasted until about March 2015. MLP stuff just brings back too much bad memories, I’m sorry.

    My interest in MLP came to a halt in about February 2016, and a little bit later on, I realised that I had no interest in the show anymore. I also realised me getting into the fandom was a big mistake. Before I lost interest in the show, I really got interested in furries (primary fandom now), and I also got really into animes like Naruto, Attack on Titan, and kind of Fairy Tail too. I still think MLP is a decent show, but I doubt I’ll ever watch it again. 

    On a side note, in about February 2015, I became an atheist, after being a lifelong Catholic. Surprise, I’m a Catholic again, but not a super religious one, as I still hold fairly liberal viewpoints, but not super liberal ones. So, yeah, I’m once again a Catholic.

    I have nothing against the MLP fandom, as I did make a lot of good friends in it, but I feel like I should’ve left that behind me a long time ago. But I’m back again to end it on a positive note. 

    Thank you for anyone on this website who was my friend while I was here. I’m sorry if I’ve ever upset anyone here or made anyone uncomfortable, but I’m sure we can all put that stuff behind us now. I’ve became much more mature within the past few years, so I’m capable of not making such a mess over stuff now.

    So, yeah, there you have it. I’m no longer a brony, though I don’t hate MLP at all. I don’t regret getting into this fandom, but I made a lot of mistakes here. If you ever make a mistake, then the only thing you can do is admit it, learn from it, and attempt to not let it happen. I’m glad I’ve met anyone I met in the MLP fandom, because that’s just how things happened in my life, and I like my life.

    Thank you for reading this, I wish you all good luck in life, goodbye.

     

  16. Yes, I stole this. And yes, it's actually how it is supossed to go because Deviantart rules. And yes as well, I'll answer. And also yes, yes. :nom: 

    And yes:
     

    Quote
    1. What do you think the next forum trend will be? (Or what would you want it to be?)

    It will be about ships

    So yeah, ask because I'm bored :sealed: 

     1.- State something I learned about you by looking at your profile for 20 seconds. do I even need to look at it because I'm already a profile stalker 

     2.- State a color you remind me of. 

     3.- Name an element I think you belong to (water, fire, earth, air).

     4.- Let you know which MLP character you remind me of.

     5.- Ask you a question I want you to answer.

     6.- Find something I actually find tolerable about you.

     7.- Think of something to say if we were roommates.

     8.- State the food/flavor/smell you remind me of. 

     9.- Guess something about you.

  17. I was going through my old journals on DeviantArt and I came across a "comment and I will" entry from two and a half years ago. Those seemed to be pretty popular, so I thought I'd copy it onto a blog over here and do it again. :P 

    So, all you have to do is leave a random comment on this blog, and then I will:

     1.- State something I learned about you by looking at your profile for 20 seconds. do I even need to look at it because I'm already a profile stalker 

     2.- State a color you remind me of. 

     3.- Name an element I think you belong to (water, fire, earth, air).

     4.- Let you know which MLP character you remind me of.

     5.- Ask you a question I want you to answer.

     6.- Find something I actually find tolerable about you.

     7.- Think of something to say if we were roommates.

     8.- State the food/flavor/smell you remind me of. 

     9.- Guess something about you.

  18. This entry is sure to upset a few people, though it is not my intention to offend anyone.  I simply want to discuss reality as best I can.

    I spend a fair amount of time criticizing religion, and writing and arguing for reason and rationality.  I do this for many reasons.  There's no shortage of reasons to oppose religion.  Take your pick.  Dogma of any kind is antithetical to conversation, logic, rational thought, and progress.  Religion has caused a massive amount of senseless violence, death, and misery throughout human history.  It has retarded scientific progress, and continues to do so today.  Religion provides shields and justification for irrational bigotry, intolerance, and hatred.  Religion also gives us jihadism, arguably the greatest threat this generation faces.  Moreover, all of the good things that people get from religion, and all of the good that religion does (and I will concede that there indeed is some good), can be found and had through benign, secular means, if only enough people would get started on such a project.  Rather than spend too much time explaining why I oppose religion and risk letting this essay spiral too much out of control, I will simply point to the works of writers and thinkers such as Sam Harris, Christopher Hitchens, Richard Dawkins, and Matt Dillahunty for anyone who's interested.  I mention these people on the forums a lot, (probably to a fault) but it's only because I believe so strongly in what they have to say, and I think it's of the utmost importance.

    I am an atheist.  I don't believe in any god because there's evidence for one.  But I honestly have no objection to a belief in a god(s), provided that the believer is intellectually honest with themselves and others, admitting that we can't know for sure what there is or isn't, and if there is a god(s), we can't know who or what it is.  In other words, I have no quarrel with the deist.  The deist is one says, "I think the universe must have had a creator, so I believe in something, but it's impossible for us to know what it is."  I can't imagine that that way of thinking would be very harmful.  My problem lies with the theist.  The theist is one who says, "I know there's a god, I know which one it is, I have a personal relationship with God, I know exactly who and what God is, I know His will and His commands, I have the authority to speak on His behalf as His representative, I know what foods you should and shouldn't eat, I know which days you shouldn't work on, I know how and when you should pray, I know exactly how much of your genitals should be cut off, I know who you should sleep with and in what position, and failure to comply with any of these conditions will result in an eternity in a lake of fire."  It shouldn't be an mystery why I'm not keen on this way of thinking.  No one has any right or authority to tell others how to live. 

    I don't believe because I don't see any reason to, but I understand why some might arrive at a different conclusion.  The universe is, after all, a mystery.  We know the big bang happened, but we don't know the story of how or why, or what was here before that.  One could lose their mind contemplating such mysteries.  To think about these things can be terrifying, and, in my opinion, a lot of fun.  I can understand why some might feel that it makes no sense without a designer, that there must have been a creator of some type.  The catch though, as it seems to me, is that a god doesn't really get you anywhere.  If your explanation for everything is God, then you can stop wondering where the universe came from, but now you have to start wondering where God came from, how long he was here, what was here before God, or if he was here forever, how is that possible, and so forth.  The mysteries don't end.  You just have different mysteries.  You can't escape mysteries.  This is a fact we have to live with, and it makes some people very uncomfortable, evidently.  But like it or lump it, you're going to be stuck with one mystery or the other for the time being, and as I see it, there's just no reason to throw a god into the mix.  It's an unnecessary variable that needlessly complicates the equation.  That said--that's just my opinion.  Perhaps there is a designer.  I don't know, and I can't know for sure, and that's the point.  I have no objection to generic, elastic deism.  Once again, my problem lies with dogma--with the doctrines that claim to know the truth, seek to enforce it on others, and tell people how to live their lives.  This is pure delusion, as it is impossible to know any of this for sure.

    The biggest plothole of orthodox religion, it seems to me, is quite simply the fact that there is more than one.  Why do people believe in their specific religion, their book, and their god?  Why is the Christian a Christian?  Why not a Muslim?  Why does the Christian believe in the Abrahamic god and not Zeus?  Or Odin?  Shiva?  Anubis?  Why your religion, and not another?  You will almost never hear an honest answer to these questions, because the only honest answer, as it seems to me, is essentially an outright admission that all of these religions are human-made, fallible, and nonsense: because they happened to have been born where they were born, and this was the religion taught to them.  That's it.  By and large, that's the reason why anyone is the religion they are: because they were born into that culture, to parents of that religion.  Any feelings, signs, or experiences that they interpret as evidence are seen as evidence of their god.  The Christian will have some feeling of profundity and know it to be evidence of Jesus.  The Muslim will have the same feeling of profundity and see it as evidence of Allah.  How convenient.  Religion obeys geography, and believers will interpret any possible evidence as confirmation of what they already believe.  Confirmation bias continually reinforces each person's belief in their own god, even when the evidence remains consistent across the board.

    People are born into a religion, and thus, that is what they believe.  The Christian believes in the Bible and Jesus because they were born to Christian parents.  If they had been born in the Middle East to Muslim parents, then that's what they'd be.  If they'd been born in India, they would be Hindu.  If they had been born in Denmark in the time of the Vikings, they would have worshipped Odin and Thor.  If they had been born in ancient Greece, they would have believed in Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon, ancient Egypt, Anubis and Horas.  Any experience they have that reinforced their belief does so for their specific god--the one they were born with.  If they had been born in any of those other places, the experience would have reinforced the belief in that god.  How do believers reconcile this?  How does this not bother anyone?  I am completely and utterly mystified as to how this simple fact of religion does not cause a complete derailment of the faith, an instant full-stop, causing everyone to say, "Well, wait a minute.  If everyone over there believes something totally different, then how do we know that any of us is right?"  Time and again, you will hear the same answers to this: faith.  They just have faith.  They just know.  Well, all the other religions claim the same thing.  How does this not bother anyone?  What reason is there for anyone to think that they just happened to be lucky enough to be born into the right religion?  People seem to believe that theirs has to be right, simply by dint of the fact that it is their religion, and for no other reason.  The fact is that every religion is equally unlikely, and none of them have unique authority.  From the outside looking in, the Bible and the Qu'ran appear no different than the teachings of ancient Greece, Rome, Egypt, or any other.  Just uncorroborated, unsubstantiated, fantastical stories of gods.  And yet, for completely arbitrary reasons, we are admonished to regard modern religions with utmost respect, while we file the old, dead gods into the graveyard we call mythology.

    The idea I'm trying to get across has never been articulated better than this:

    Yes, this video is satirical, mocking, and comical, as is this youtuber's style, but the points are completely accurate, and make this problem with religion crystal clear.

    There are many believers who will argue that which religion you are doesn't matter, and that they basically all worship the same god, just with different names.  This simply isn't true.  Each holy book tells a completely different story, and they are all incompatible with each other.  Take Islam, for example.  Islam says that Jesus was not the son of God, and that it is blasphemy to say he is.  Worship of Jesus will lead you to hell.  This obviously doesn't square with Christianity.  People who argue that all religions basically worship the same god either haven't actually read the books, or they cherry-pick and interpret the books to fit what they already believe, which is something that came from the people around them, or from themselves, not from the books.  I would argue that such people are more deists than theists, and their elastic interpretations of religions are less harmful.  However, at that point, I would submit that if one is going to cherry pick the holy books, then you've already broken the "rules", so why not jettison the rule book entirely and admit that we do not, and cannot know?

    But I digress.  What explanations could there be for this massive discrepancy between religions?  There aren't many possibilities.  Each religion claims that their holy book was written or dictated by the creator of the universe, and that it is his immutable word.  At most, only one book could possibly be true, because they all contradict each other.  Therefore, the possibilities are as follows: 1) God wrote all (or some) of the books, but only one is true.  He gave one group the truth and gave the rest gibberish.  2.) God wrote one book.  He gave the truth to one group, and just ignored the rest.  3.) God wrote none of the books.  Humans wrote all of them, and none are true.  This means that either A.) God is a troll, B.) God is a jerk, or C.) Humans tried to explain existence with extremely limited technology and knowledge, each culture invented a religion and wrote different flawed books.  Which scenario seems more likely?

    Many theists will claim that this discrepancy between religions is actually by design, and that it is a test by God.  They claim that God is testing their faith, and that they will be rewarded for keeping faith in their religion despite the disagreement between the others.  To be blunt, I cannot overstate what a hollow, non-sequitur cop-out this claim is.  What motivation could a supposedly perfect being have for deliberately sending us flawed, confused, mixed messages, and then demanding that we believe one of them with no sound reasons or evidence?  What could be gained from this?  Why would a perfect being reward blind faith?  In what possible sense is blind faith a virtue?  Why would God not instead reward us for questioning, for thinking critically, and for using the mental faculties that he supposedly endowed us with?  Why would he not appreciate a commitment to truth, to intellectual honesty, and having the courage and integrity to follow wherever the evidence leads?  The answer is quite simple: because the gods of our holy books are petty, vindictive, vain, and selfish.  Chief among their concerns is that we worship them alone, above all else.  It seems to me that an omniscient, perfect being would be wise enough to more concerned with how people actually treat each other, rather than if we worship him blindly.  Only a selfish being would demand worship.  I submit that a being who demands worship is not worthy of it to begin with.

    I can't imagine that I will ever understand how believers are able to wave away this glaring plothole.  It seems that they either haven't given it any thought, and simply take the religion that was thrust upon them without question, or... they actually have evaluated other religions, questioned, thought, and reached a conclusion that theirs must be right, and all others must be wrong.  If the latter, then I don't understand how this conclusion can reached.  What reasoning could there be to think that yours just happens to be right?  Believers must surely be aware that all other believers of all other religions have reached that same conclusion about their own faith.  If all people of all faiths are reaching the conclusion that theirs is right and all others are wrong, then something isn't adding up.  This is clearly a demonstration of confirmation bias in its most elegant form.

    I'd like to offer one more elegant summary of this plothole before I move on:

    I have heard from people who identify as a particular religion, and yet their views are so malleable, so flexible, that they admit that all religions could be wrong, believe that all could be right in some bizarre way, and believe that all you have to do is be a good person and you'll wind up in heaven.  To these people, I ask why they still identify with their religion?  Many will say that it is for the community aspect, the social bonds and fellowship that it provides.  This is understandable, but these things can be obtained without subscribing to a divisive doctrine, and without believing anything on insufficient evidence.

    At this time I would like acknowledge the fact that there are some smaller, independent-type churches that are not dogmatic, and teach a very generic and malleable form of spirituality.  Such churches are usually much more tolerant, open-minded, and don't tend to threaten people with ideas like sin and hell.  These types of churches seem fairly harmless to me.  While I personally don't see the need to bring spirituality into the mix, I also generally don't object to churches like this if they aren't doing any harm.

    I have been asked why I write essays like this, and why I fight against religion.  People have called me hypocritical, saying that I claim I want religion to leave people alone, and yet I won't leave religion alone.  Why can't I just let people believe what they want if they're not hurting anyone?  Well, the reason is because I believe that orthodox religion is always harmful, even if it doesn't seem that way.  Even if a particular subscriber keeps their faith private, doesn't push it on others, and doesn't appear to be causing any harm, I argue that they are still causing harm in unforeseen ways simply by being a part of the religion.  They're still supporting an organization that is damaging to the world.  It may encourage others to subscribe or continue subscribing to the religion.  It encourages the perpetuation of superstition.  Even if a particular church or religious denomination seems harmless and loving from the inside, in can still be perpetuating and encouraging a larger world of dogmatism and irrationality.  I'll concede that there may be particular individuals who are so private with their faith that they truly aren't hurting or affecting anyone else, and I'll stipulate that those people aren't directly causing any harm, but I will still fight to change their minds so as to gain a potential ally in the war of ideas.  I will continue to fight against the doctrines because I dream of living in a world where divisive dogma doesn't impede science and progress and cause needless suffering.  I want to stop theocrasy from continually creeping into public policy.  Most of all, I dream of living in a world where people stop fighting and killing each other over flawed, ancient books.

    As always, it's impossible to say everything I want to in one essay, and I'm sure I've left things out or made some errors or contradictions that may come back to bite me.  I also realize how touchy this is, and that I've probably angered a few people.  For that, I do apologize.  Sometimes I think it would be better to keep my mouth shut rather than invite the flames and reap the whirlwind.  That's exactly what I did for twenty years, and I still choose to write in this quiet corner of the internet that is more tolerant and open-minded than most.  But I've decided that it's better to speak up, at least somewhere, because my time on this planet is so limited, and I want to do what I can to make the world a better a place.  Thanks for reading.