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About this blog

Where I talk about all the stupid stuff that annoys me.

Entries in this blog

Episode 60 - BEEP BEEP

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  How every Celestia-damned sound in the world has to be a high-pitched, ear-piercing beep.  Sirens, car horns, microwaves, smoke alarms, cash registers, f*ckin' every notification sound of any kind has to be an ear-shattering beep.  I know I've already done multiple noise-related entries, like restaurant music and screaming children, but I wanted to take a moment to complain about the broader problem of high-pitched beeping everywhere. I have super
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Episode 59 - Ice Skates in Commercials

Okay, this one's kinda stupid, but I wanna get it off my chest anyway. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you see people ice skating in a commercial (usually a pharmaceutical commercial where happy people are showing how happy they are to get their fibromyalgia and crohn's disease under control), and the woman is always wearing figure skates, and the man is always wearing hockey skates.  Yup.  That's how it's gotta be.  No other choice, because as we all know, if figure skates so muc
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Episode 58 - Screaming Children

Hey.  Y'know what really, REALLY grinds my gears?  Screaming children.  Mostly in restaurants, but anywhere in public, really.  I have extremely sensitive hearing.  Extremely.  Life is very difficult for me to navigate because of it.  Things hurt my ears that don't bother normal people.  Screaming children in restaurants is really upsetting for me.  Happy toddlers are far worse than crying infants.  (Though that probably isn't the case from the parent's perspective, I know.)  With crying infants
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Episode 57 - Hand Sanitizer Bottles

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you flip open the top of one of those little pocket hand sanitizer bottles, and the sanitizer starts oozing out the top for no reason.  I understand it's a pressure difference, but it does it all the time when the bottle is just sitting there, right-side up in my medicine cabinet, and it's never moved!  I just open it and it starts vomiting out the gel until half the bottle is empty!  Only seems to happen with hand sanitizer.  Drives me f*ckin' nut
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Episode 56 - Something-gate

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  How every single controversy or problem has to be called "something-gate".  Y'know, after Watergate.  Y'know, like Derpygate, or Elsagate, or... um... uh... well, there's tons of others, but they're escaping me at the moment.  You know what I'm talkin' about.  It's gets really old.  You can't call every single Celestia-dammed thing "something-gate".  Knock it off already.  Geeeeze. 
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Episode 55 - Newspaper Comics

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I can't find the Celestia dammed comics section in the newspaper.  It's always somewhere different!  One day it's on the back of the sports section, the next day it's hidden in business, the next day it's in the national and world news section.  I have to search every front and back to find it!  The hell, man?  The f*ck?!  Why can't they put it in the same place every time so I can just frickin' open the f*ckin' paper and go right to it?! 
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Episode 54 - Splashing Pee

Only the stallions are gonna get this one. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I pee and it splashes out of the bowl.  No matter how I do it, where I aim, or how careful I am, half the time tiny little flecks of urine splash all over the place.  I go barefoot in the house, and I often feel little pinpricks of pee hitting the tops of my feet.  I have to clean them constantly after I go.  It's horrible.  And my shower curtain is right next to the toilet, (only about 8 or so inches away)
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Episode 53 - Change

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears? Change. I hate change.  No, not coins.  Things changing.  People say it's a good thing, but it's not.  I hate when things I'm used to have to change for no good reason.  Change the Butterfinger recipe?  F*ck you.  Discontinue my shampoo?  F*ck you.  Change the way the Steam library looks?  F*ck you.  Take away Ember's World on Fire?  F*ck you.  Nerf my riven dispos?  F*ck you.  Take away my Archwing barrel rolling?  Eat dirt and die.  Change my
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Episode 52 - Accidentally Eating Your Hair

Okay, so only people with really long hair are gonna get this one. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you're eating, and a single one of your hairs falls down in front of you and dangles in the food, and you don't realize it, and then you scoop up a bite of food with the fork, and you scoop the hair right along with it and put it all in your mouth, and then you start to chew and feel a tugging on your hair, and you trace the hair down your cheek with your finger and realize you've f*
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Episode 51 - Restaurant Remodels

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  How they keep remodeling restaurants these days to be all bland and contemporary while taking out all of the theming and charm. I dunno if this is just a regional thing, and it's probably just a U.S. thing, so this won't be relevant to everyone.  I'm gonna focus on three big chain restaurants as examples. I've been a regular customer of Black Angus steakhouse for almost 30 years, and I've always loved the atmosphere.  It manages to upscale whi
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Episode 50 - Forced Tutorials

Hey. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When video games force you into a tutorial.  Like, they make you go through a whole dammed crafting tutorial or something, and you have to make the thing they want you to make, and click on every single thing they tell you to, and there's absolutely no way to bypass it.  Just leave me alone and let me play the damn game!  I just want to experiment and learn on my own, ya piece a sh*t!  Where applicable, tutorials should be made available for players
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Episode 49 - Pushy Employees

My spidey-sense tell me that this one is gonna get me in some hot water.... but f*ck it; I'm doin' it anyway. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When employees in retail stores get too pushy and intrusive with their questions.  I hate it when they ask questions that try to trap you into a complex response: "What brought you in today?  What are you looking for?"  Buzz off, will you?  And the worst is when they hover outside of a fitting room and ask you if the clothes fit right and how the
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Episode 48 - Disc Cases

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Disc cases that are too hard to get the disc out of.  Y'know what I'm talkin' about?  I'm talking about optical disc cases (CDs, DVDs, Blu-Ray), where the little center tab thing that holds the disc in is really difficult to pull the disc out of.  Some of them are total bullsh*t.  Like, some cases are so difficult to get the disc out of that I'm actually afraid of causing damage to the god damn disc.  I mean, you're suppose to be able to press the thing
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Episode 47 - YOU

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I try to make a Grind My Gears post that's just supposed to be funny, and then everyone gets all serious on my ass, starts riding my back, starts gettin' all over my case, gets all up in my grill, and they go all, (*mocking tone*) "Maybe you wouldn't have such a problem with that thing if you just learned how to do it and stopped whining."  Suck all the fun out of my blog, why don't you.  So I guess what REALLY grinds my gears is... YOU, MLP FORUMS
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Episode 46 - Spa Jets

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When I'm at my gym, and people turn on the spa jets without askin' me.  Okay, hold on, there, chief.  Just cool yer jets, mm'kay?  Lemmie 'splain.  So, I go to my gym at night to swim when it's uncrowded, and I soak in the spa when I'm done.  Now, unlike most, I prefer the jets off.  Just don't like em.  I prefer the calm.  I find it much more relaxing.  Now, I'm perfectly okay with jet people having precedence.  So, if someone else wants the jets, I'll
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Episode 45 - It's That Time Again

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  The phrase "It's that time again."  Like, specifically, how they say that in commercials and ads and stuff.  "It's that time again!  Time to do your Christmas shopping!"  "It's that time again!  Time to get out your 4th of July barbecue sh*t!"  "It's that time again!  Time to go back-to-school shopping!"  "It's that time again!  Time to do your taxes!" It's always some time again.  Stop announcing that as if it's some marvelous, incredible, surpris
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Episode 44 - Gum

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people stick their used gum wherever they please, like under tables, or all over the sidewalk.  Just ruins the world for everybody.  You inconsiderate sh*t.  And the same goes for cigarette butts.  Where the hell did smokers all get this idea that cigarette butts don't count as littering?  It's like this universal rule that you can just drop your cigarette butt wherever you happen to be standing, or just chuck it out the window wherever, and it's t
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Episode 43 - Asymmetrical AC Plugs

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When an AC plug has the asymmetrical tines where one if fatter than the other so you can only plug it in one way.  Why the hell the gotta do that?!!  Yeah, I know, I know: (*mocking voice*) "Maybe if you did some research and learned why, then you wouldn't have to come here and whine about it!"   Yeah, I know, I know: it's called polarized, and I don't frickin' care.  I don't care why they do it!  It's f*ckin' annoying!  And here's the reason I fin
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Episode 42 - Character Limits

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  Character limits.  Okay, this isn't just an "in general" kind of thing; I have a very specific case that requires a bit of explanation.  It's really good, I swear! Okay, so, I got my mom into video games a few years ago, and she has been playing through a bunch of Xbox 360 games.  She ran out of things to do on that system, and she really wants to play the new entries in her favorite franchises (Fallout, Red Dead, Farcry), so we decided to get her
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Episode 41 - When Ice Misbehaves

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you're drinking something with ice, without a straw, and you get towards the end, and the ice kinda sticks together in the bottom of the glass, and then it suddenly dislodges and comes careening towards your mouth, and you can't act fast enough, and it hits you, and you get the drink all over your face, and some of the drink goes on either side of your mouth and dribbles down your face and onto your shirt. F*CK THAT SH*T, man.
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Episode 40 - Computer Upgrades

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you purchase a new sweet-ass graphics card and a nice SSD and some sweet-ass RAM for your gaming computer, and then you install everything, and turn the 'puter on, but it doesn't boot.  The tower turns on, but the monitor stays black and just doesn't boot anything.  So you double check all connections and re-seat everything, but it doesn't help.  You already know everything should be compatible for your motherboard, so then you double check your sy
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Episode 39 - When Computers Can't Count

OMG, this one's the worst. Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When some computers and devices can't count properly.  Okay, so if you're titling a bunch of files, and you number them, and then you sort by name, you'd expect them to appear in numerical order, right?  I mean, that's how it works.  Like, if you're using Windows, and you have a folder full of pictures from your camping trip, you can select all of them, and retitle the first one "Camp", and then it will automatically retitle al
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Episode 38 - What I Know in my Heart

Hey.  So this one is probably going to ruffle a few feathers, rattle a few cages, frazzle a few manes, steam a few hams, refry a few beans.  Don't take it too seriously, k? Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When people refer to the heart as if it knows and feels things.  Y'know, they say "heart" when they really mean "brain".  This is just leftovers from a time when we actually thought that the heart was the emotion center.  We obviously know this isn't true.  I don't need to explain any
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Episode 37 - Keeping the Whole Class After

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  So, you ever been in class in high school, and the bell rings, but the teacher keeps the whole class after because of a couple of unruly students who were misbehaving?  Oh, and then they give you the ol' "the bell doesn't dismiss you; I do!" bullsh*t.  Isn't that cute?  So, it should go without saying that punishing innocents for the crimes of others is by definition one of the most unjust things you could possibly do.  But that aside for the moment, do
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Episode 36 - Tearing Toilet Paper

Hey.  Y'know what really grinds my gears?  When you try to tear one square of toilet paper, and it doesn't tear neatly along the perforated line, and it shreds and makes a mess, and a cloud of paper dust poofs up into the air.  Man, f*ck that sh*t. Well, that was a short one. 
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