My last laugh
Well, I got no clue of how to begin this... So I'm just going to write as I go.
I think a chunk of you will know me, whenever my name, or interaction, or whatever else.
I originally joined this place way, wayyy back in 2013, on this very day, December 31st, or the day where I said bye to a year and hi to another. That year was something unique, because it was what I consider the worst time of my life, with circumstances both on and outside my control that dragged me towards the wrong roads of life, and even to this day, I believe that joining this place did some important changes to me, which actually did help me steer my life back towards a better road. I'm not going to go into detail of what exactly happened because, you know, personal information, buuut it was by meeting people through my stay here that my way of seeing things took a turn. For the better or the worse? Who knows~ But it did help me realize more of myself as time went on.
A lot of those people are not even here anymore, some because of just leaving, others because of doing something bad, others because a combination of both, or others because of my actions. I don't think most of them will ever see this, and hell, I am not even going to name anyone to avoid possible preferences, but you all did something for me~
Nowadays I still have some people near me, and I could not be happier as a result. I found love, care and kindness thanks to many, but those that are near me today really gave me a slap in the wrist about what it means to follow your own goodwill. Hell, I would argue that thanks to them I found out more about me than I could have found out otherwise.
Another thing is me being a moderator (and former one after this is shown to the public), with me willingly choosing to leave on the same day I joined, I don't even know because of irony or some hidden meaning. But what I want to say is that, when I originally joined this place, I was a mess, in terms of following the rules and a lot more, but some people did also guide me towards being a better person, and realizing my full potential as who I am now, and even managed to help people of the place I learned to love, with said place being this forums. Banning trolls, helping users with issues, and trying to bring the fairest justice alongside the other members of the staff, it was a time to never forget, and even today I still think on my most lively days as a moderator. What I want to say is that anyone can become a better person, no matter how hard or impossible it might seem. But I can tell you this, as I was not precisely the biggest role model on my first months on here, both in real life and in forums, that you can become better than you are now.
Keep on mind that this blog is very disjointed, but I am well aware of it. This is a blog that I write to tell about me and what this place meant to me, where I found people to love and to have fun with, and where I found who I really am, even if today I might still be doing that road in some shape or form. Something I did realize though is that I ... grew old of this place? I don't know what words to use to describe it, but I feel like I should move on towards greener pastures, if that makes sense. Not like it means I dislike this place or anything, but it just... feels different today. Most of my social interactions are done by personally messaging people rather than searching on the outside like I did in the past.
After this blog is on, I'm effectively dropping the badge and leaving this place. I would say permanently, but I can't predict in the future if I'll ever have a wish to come back and post. But for the time being, I am hanging all my effective things and leaving this place. Those that want to keep contact with me already got a way to do so, to be simply honest~
I.. don't even know what else to say, really. Again, I'm writing as I go about how I feel, but even though I share many more things to say, I keep them to myself because of the rather personal presence of them. I just want to say that you are all beautiful people, and that no matter what, joining this place is something I don't regret even a single bit, even with all the weird and bad stuff that happened along the road.
Speaking here is Joel, and this is the last time you'll probably hear me say this, but shippppppppppppppping~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
- 5
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