When I made this account I really had no idea what I was getting into.
Well, to explain this better: I'll tell you a short story.
When I was younger I always found reasons to smile. I was a happy young girl that would talk and smile to just about anyone. In fact, I did it so much my parents used to get worried that someone would kidnap me. According to my mom I also lacked... a notion of danger. It got so bad that my family stopped going to the beach because I would throw myself into the ocean, smiling. Flashforward a couple of kiddy gates to the time of high school. During high school I was the textbook "loser" (I say loser because that was one of the nicest tags attributed to me from my beloved classmates. Kids are cruel yo!) I must have been about 12 or so when I wrote my first love letter; my crush tore it to pieces in front of the whole class. Needless to say, boys didn’t like me thus girl didn’t either. Don't worry! I was still happy, sort of... I had my fantasy world which was largely enriched by video games and anime. I didn’t really care about being called a fat Harry Potter curly haired freak, I mean, at the time it hurt but it was ok because then I'd go home to Sailor Moon and Squall; they shared their stories with me regardless of what I looked like.
Flashfoward again and I'm nearing the end of my high school years and something changed; I became “attractive”. It was weird because I still loathed myself (years of conditioning would do that to you). When I realized that people found me attractive, I made a lot of bad choices because they were easy, because I was told they were good, etc. I had many "friends" and I became a little cocky but I was never mean. I couldn’t be mean because I still loathed myself and betraying my beliefs would make that feeling worse. I lost track of who I was while trying to figure out this new me, and even though I was surrounded by people who "loved" me but I was so alone. I didn't connect with them, not really. I feel into a secret depression.
It wasn’t until I turned 23 when something changed. I saw Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy then Rainbow Dash, Apple Jack, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle. I saw that being kind, caring and loving wasn’t a weakness. I saw what true friendship really meant. I realized how much I wanted to be a better person and that the friendship I saw on MLP was the type I needed. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t find anyone like that so I remained internally alone. Then one day I after cosplaying as Pinkie Pie from the Creepypasta “Cupcakes” I decided to look for a MLP forum. End of story back to the beginning:
When I made this account I really had no idea what I was getting into. I thought it probably wasn't a good idea but I made my account anyway. After a couple of hours something changed because I realized I found a place; a place where I can be myself and feel at home. So thank you, because now I feel like I'm back to being that young girl that smiled too much and who likes of throw herself at the ocean. My life is better, I feel like a human being with an infinite amount of possibilities before her. Thank you.
If you ever feel alone, just know it really does get better.
PS: I’m having this killer headache so I’m sorry for any Grammatical errors. I’ll revise this tomorrow.