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碇 シンジン

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Blog Entries posted by 碇 シンジン

  1. 碇 シンジン
    There was pony named Cotton he was happy pony, pink mane yellow soft coat. =) He was always after the mare ponies, because she was lonely pony and wanted some company. One evening Cotton was walking in the streets of ponyville back to his house, he was looking at the evening dark sky and wondering would he ever find a partner to be with. Always when he tried to talk to mare pony friends he was shy and didnt open his mouth. Usually the ponies around him just thought he was weird and left him be on his own.

    Suddenly he saw something, something that was so beautiful he had to look again and, be sure it really was there. On the balcony of the Carousel Boutique he saw the white unicorn pony lovely, purple shiny mane. looking velvet soft silk flowing with the winds. Clean beautiful white coat so pretty pony. Who was this pretty pony wonder of absolute beauty and gorgeousness, he wondered.



    Cotton couldn't get the pretty pony out of his mind, he continued walking back to his house, opened the heavy door of wood and went straight to bed. He was still thinking the unocorn pony on the balcony her cute hair and pretty tail. he grabbed the pen and this piece of paper. and Wrote the cute love poem about the cute haired unicorn pretty pony He smiled and closed his pony eyes.

    In the morning Cotton woke up from his sleep, threw the blanket into the floor and galloped right outside. He was determined this time. The pretty pony last night, he would ask her out today. He ran straight to carousel Boutique and knocked the door gently with his hoof. He heard the gentle pretty hoofsteps coming closer. The door of the boutique opened slowly and cotton was excited =). He saw this pretty pony unicorn again<3<3<3 he quickly grabbed some flowers from the ground and gave the cute yellow flowers to the pretty pony <3<3 he also gave the cute poem love that he wrote last night in happy mood.



    White unicorn looked happy in her mood and she said something but cotton didnt hear it because the angelic voice of the beautiful pony and her captivating sapphire eyes were so much for him that he couldnt consentrate on what she was saying. after a few moments that felt like forever the pretty white pony closed the door and cotton realized that he had been quiet the whole time.<3 then cotton was wondering what this cute pony thought of him. he was nervous.

    He thought that maybe he had failed this time maybe the pretty unicorn didnt like him he went back into his house opened the door of wood and ate the oatmeal It was still early in morning but he still went to lay on his bed thinking what had just happened. The pretty unicorn cute pony looked. He wanted to relive those cute memories from 5minutes ago.
     
    The moment when the cute white pretty unicorn opened the door with her silken pony hooves and blue radiant shiny unicorn cute magic. Her hair flowing when her cute head came forth from the inside. cute pretty eyes with the shiny beautiful makeup and lovely blue eyes like jewel sapphires. Her perfect voice like an angel and the cute sound of pretty gentle harp.
     
    He was still dreaming about the cute pony and her hair. He decided to write another poem about the pretty hair and the cute pony <3 Cotton was happy pony that day<3
  2. 碇 シンジン
    Rarity lovely pretty little angel, you bring the light in the room of darkness with your shining heart of generosity. You ignite the light on other people making them feel pretty on themselves with you wonderful design clothes. Your passion burns so bright that ponies around you feel it and know it. Your couraging words help those who struggle, your care of them and nurse their wounds.
     
    The amazing radiant beauty, that shines from you fills every gap it reaches. Looking you move is pure bliss of perfection, your pretty hair flowing with the wind. So soft, silken, velvet and purple, always looking so pretty cute and adorable. Tiny, small, happy pony ears so smooth silken fur <3 Bright marvelous, sweet love pony eyes, so pretty to look at, so big and wide, lovely jewel beauty gem wonderful darling.
     
    Fabulous makeup eye, pretty cute beautiful. Sweet dear little pony muzzle tiny nose boop, smile pony love, cute pretty YAY<3 Lovely gentle tickly hoof pretty tiny cute adorable sof silken fur happy hooves pony=). Rarity pony cutie belly charming soft wub belly love sweetie pony adorable.<3<3 Pretty awesome hips lovely round cute sexy beautiful attractive pony lovely butt soft <3
     
    Cute curly tail silken purple amazing hair cutie darling dear fashion so sweet and lovely pony Rarity is<3
     

  3. 碇 シンジン

    Rarity<3

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    Purple, such a lovely color. Royal, warm, strong, beautiful and chic. Perfect color for the perfect pony unicorn, white lovely coat velvet, silken, shining elegant love. Absolutely perfect and so admirable <3.
     
    Her adorable cute tail curly, soft, trimmed, polished, shiny, radiance with colours and shades. Fresh when touched lovely creation true work of art. Absolute jewel of a pony so pretty, and finem tuned with the amazing style and latest fashion. It is a rarity of its own a tail like this is one to worship and look up to. How does one get it to look so perfect and fitting, nothing out of place so gorgeous.
     
    Absolutely honorable creation is also her magnificent mane hair of true elegance and love of the style and pice of art, fitting with same colors like her true beauty tail. She managed to create perfection not only once but twice that is glorious achievement. A perfect styling for the perfect pony nothing less is accepted, her looks are always the finest and most elegant.
     
    Her pretty pony face cute and so adorable looks perfect makeup. Light blue jewel color eyeshadow such radiant and brilliand choise <3 Lovely eyes like the blue sapphire jewels deep like oceans, full of new great and amazing beauty to discover. Black lovely excellent lashes highlight her lovely eyes even more so pretty and beautiful thing to lay your eyes on <3
     
    Always the belle of the ball and the jewel of the crown. The pony everypony should know lovely lady Rarity you love <3 wonder <3
     

  4. 碇 シンジン
    I've been thinking this for a while and I've noticed an improvements on my own behaviour and the way I act over the past year after I started watching this show about the ponies. At first I was like Fluttershy shy and timid scared of things. As I got further into the show I started seeing that this is not what I want to be
     
    I didnt want to be like that, I wanted to improve further and I used the elements of harmony as my goal. I wanted to be kind, generous, happy, honest, magical and loyal. I set this goal on myself because I saw that I could be better that i was at that moment. I wasnt happy at all and I never used any of my money on anything and I was in bad shape in my life.
     
    I started wondering how the ponies can be like that, what it is in them that makes Pinkie Pie so happy or Rarity so generous what was in them that wasn't in me. I was here on the forums thinking about it and then I asked one fan of Pinkie Pie here, I asked how Pinkie is so happy and how I can be as happy as she is. I dont remember what he said clearly anymore but the message was that I cant keep thinking the bad stuff all the time. It only makes me in bad mood.
     
    But it was harder than I thought it would be I almost gave up, but then I saw this one girl here she was so happy all the time and I saw that her happiness made me happy too. Then I saw that she was young girl, I was always happy to talk to her, and I toned down my mentality into the kid mode little by little.
     
    Kids always have fun, right? They enjoy the littlest things and they are so happy about it, then after they mature they hide their inner kid and act " Yo I'm adult now SWAG MLG 420" but why? what is wrong in being happy about the little things? What is wrong in playing with toys?
     
    You see Pinkie Pie she acts like a kid, it doesnt mean that she is stupid or kid she is about the same age as the rest of the mane six too. I've realized that and it is the main reason I use the =)=)=)=)=) smileys and maybe act bit juvenile sometimes, because it makes me happy and being happy is what I think the life is supposed to be.
     
    Stay happy my friends =)=)=)=)=)=)
  5. 碇 シンジン

    My friend :(

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    *sigh*
     
    When I was 7 years old I went to the first grade. First days I was lonely there I went and sat near this tree all day. Then some kids came and yelled me something I cried and ran away.
     
    I cried 3 days at home and didnt go to school. After that I went back I'm not sure what teacher had told the class but they acted differently around me and after that day they always were like that. I was still pretty lonely but then there was this 1 guy. I dont remember how I met him but we talked sometimes. He had other friends also so I was still quite lonely.
     
    I tried making friends. I went to play soccer with them and other games, but it wasnt for long until they saw me crying and I became more distant to them I cried always in pressure situations and other kids didnt so they became more distant to me.
     
    My only friend was that one guy i talked about earlier he was willing to distant himself from others to be with me. His other friendships were suffering and when we went to 7th grade. He was only with me.
     
    We always had fun time in classes and laughed. We always were on the other corner of the room than others. I miss that time i never had so much fun and i dont think I will
     
    When the 9th grade came and it was time to choose where we go continue our studies he chose different school than me. After that I've seen him only couple times hanging out with his new friends while im still alone tear fell down on my cheek it makes me wonder
     
    What is my issue?
  6. 碇 シンジン

    fuel

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    im 18 year old im a boy. i like to play with toys i like to watch kids shows and cartoons.
     
    i dont watch any shows that contain verbal or physical violence or attacks. i dont play those kind of games either. i've tried them and watched the shows and played those games so i can try to fit in with the other kids.
     
    im not like the other kids. i noticed that after watching those shows and displaying that kind of media. it always let me with this same feeling. i felt that something is out of place.
     
    it is not correct it is not innocent. it makes me feel depressed inside and i dont like it one bit. then i one happy day started watching the cute innocent show of my little pony. the show showed me the light out of the darkness and when i delved deeper into it i felt happy.
     
    happy like never before i want to be happy. colored pony cuties make me happy. i dont like violence its unhappy
  9. 碇 シンジン
    You maybe wondered why I've brohoofed your posts of why I brohoof so many posts here is the deal.
     
    If you think that your post was nothing special when you get a brohoof from me read this:
     
    I think this way: Every post is special you shouldn't think your post wasn't because it gives me a different perspective of the situation YOUR perspective and even if the post wasn't a "worth" of a brohoof it shows me that you've cared about the topic enough to try to think about it and I want to encourage trying and even if it fails. And I think everyone is doing the right thin by posting here I don't brohoof trolls or insults because I don't want them to continue that. I brohoof posts where the poster has shown that he thought about the topic and gave his opinion or experiences even if it was 1 word.
     
    I want encourage those posters who are shy like me and show them that I care about their posts and I want them to continue.
     
     
    If I get a brohoof from someone I don't think that my post was nothing special I think that I was being noticed, someone knows that I'm here, someone cares about me. IRL no one notices me and I think that is the reason why I feel so good when someone notices me here. Some people might think that I don't read the posts I brohoof but I try read and understand them all. I maybe not understand the meanings behind the posts but if I see that the poster has put effort into it I want to respect that.
     
     

  10. 碇 シンジン

    Inhale

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    I have been member here half a year now and lot of things have happened. I have accomplished some good things that make me happy and I have learned many things from this community. I have seen different people and I've been able to connect with them. I've also made mistakes and I've learned from them or at least I think I've learned from them.
     
    Before I joined here I was shy reserved boy who had no idea who he was. I hid my feelings inside of me and they were my secrets. When I joined here I saw the light that shined here from this community and I was able to connect like never before. It was new for me to write messages and realize that you all are actually real persons. Often times before I made multiple accounts on sites and chatted with myself pretending I had friends because I had none.
     
    Here I knew that this place holds something special something beyond normal forums. No matter what other forums I browse I cannot get the same feeling that I get from browsing here. I just often get depressed from other forums there are rarely any smiles and most of the posts are intented to be some kind of jokes. but Here people are like a big family.
     
    I'm not the same pony anymore who I was when I joined here these days I care about people I interact with and seeing people happy makes me happy too. Seeing drama and sad people makes me worry too. I was holding myself back so much and I see it now I was only a shadow, a shadow of a shining sun of happiness that I could be.
     
     
    I can say that I'm a better person today than I was 6 months ago.
     
    A big weight has been lifted off from my chest You all are the best friends I could ever hope for
     

  12. 碇 シンジン

    Too kind.

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    Hi I just wanted to tell you how I feel.
     
     
    I'm kind. I'm helpful. I'm always there to make other people happy? right? That is great isn't it? It is great but I don't have my own life. I feel that I live just for other people. I realized this while ago. It is affecting me strongly very strongly.
     
    When I think about it I don't really have opinions on anything. I don't listen music. Everything I think I try to think the way it is best for all people. It can be seen if you put me in position where I have to make decisions. I tell you one story:
     
    I was in one place where my parents took me from time to time. There were 2 children there boy and a girl. They always disagreed on almost everything and I tried to please both of them. Then there were this one situation where they asked me which thing I want to do the boy wanted to play computer game and the girl wanted something I don't remember what and we would do the thing that I decided. It doesn't seem to be very hard situation, but it was really hard.
     
    I first said "I don't know" but then they kept telling me that I need to decide I didn't want to upset either one of them so I said I don't know again. They continued pressuring me then I started crying. Then I realized how hard it was to me to voice my own opinion I just couldn't do it I wanted to play computer game then but I suppressed that opinion for the sake of other peoples needs.
     
    I have always done it like that I suppress my own opinions and try to make everyone feel better for my own expense. Truth is its hurting me. People rarely express that they like things that I do they rarely say that I'm good and I'm great. and because I value myself based on that feedback that I havent been getting I value myself to zero. No feedback = No value . It shouldn't be like this but sadly it is.
     
    I CANNOT hurt other people that is one thing that I take very seriously if I somehow manage to do that I drop down very deep. It is impossible to please everyone but I'm still somehow trying to do that. And if people that are close to me even joke on me I get very upset about it. I can't take criticsism because I feel that they are insults.
     
    I have no interest in anything I always have some little interest growing in something but it flops because I realize after a while that I am alone and then I quit. I quit because I have no reason to be interested in something if someone else isn't and I can't share my kindness with them.
     
    I maybe forgot something from here but I hope you can understand something
  13. 碇 シンジン
    Ok this is me and how MLP Forums helped me!
     
    I have been trying to fit into the society my entire life. I just wanted to be like everyone else. I didn't want any attention into myself. I didn't realize back then that only way I would fit in was to not to fit in. So I was pushed away from groups and I ended up standing in corners quietly and sitting alone in somewhere. I was always alone. No one noticed me.
     
    When I tried to say something to someone they were like I didn't say anything. That hurt me and I started thinking myself that I am no one. I am not wanted. I went deeper into my shell. I started to get depressed because I was bullied being different. I still didn't realize that because I tried to not to be different that was my difference compared to others. I stopped eating at school. My health started getting worse. No one talked to me people just watched me and laughed. I was just trash that people kicked away. I wasn't accepted.
     
    I started going deeper into myself and getting my shell stronger. I was just a machine. There were not any emotions on my face anymore. I didn't react to bullying anymore. I stopped reacting to anything. I didn't smile. I didn't cry, but I was crying still inside. I locked myself and my emotions so deep that no one would ever judge me because of them again! It got so bad that I thought jumping off from a bridge once
     
    Then one sad day. It was just normal day. On my Swedish class when the break started I stayed at class with some other students. Then teacher put that one TV:Show rolling on the screen. It was talk show and the guest was a brony. He was asked why he liked the show. My teacher laughed at him. Then I started wondering why this guy goes to talk show willingly when he was only mocked there. I realized that there had to be something bigger behind this.
     
    I started watching the show and I loved it. Fluttershy was the character I could relate. I watched all the episodes. Then I thought: "That's it?" I wanted more! I started searching something from the Google and I saw MLP Forums. I was checking this site out from June to August. I created account here 11 day of August! I started posting 18 day. It took me while to realize how great this place actually is. This place is heaven. Everyone is friendly and accepting and I realized that I don't need to hide in my shell anymore! It was 13 years since I was last time myself.
     
    This time I didn't want to be like everyone else. This is the only place where I am something and not just no one. This is the only place where I can be. I don't want to be no one anymore.
     
    I'm starting to loosen up a little IRL too and because of this I'm no longer so deep in myself.
  15. 碇 シンジン

    I'm so scared.

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    I don't know why but I'm scared of pretty much everything and it really affects my life.
     
     
    Here are few examples:
     
    I'm scared of dogs because I don't know when they are going to attack me all of a sudden. And when dog comes near me my heart just starts racing and it feels so anxious.
     
    I'm scared of cars and crossing roads, because I always feel that some car comes and runs over me and I try to avoid all crossroads when I walk. I would rather walk 1 mile to avoid the scary crossroad than go over it especially if there are no traffic lights and road is busy.
     
    I'm scared of bridges and going under them and being under objects that are leaning over me. When I go to tunnel or under bridge my heart starts racing and I watch the structure above me to see if there are any signs of it falling down on me. If there are cars or other vehicles going over the bridge and I'm under it I get even more scared. I usually walk under the bridges faster than normal.
     
    I'm scared of these groups with younger or older boys with these rap clothes and stuff. If I see them I try to avoid all contact with them and I try avoid walking near them if I have choice. If I have to walk near them it scares me so much that tears come to my eyes. It scares me because I'm afraid that they either attack me and injure me seriously me or make fun of me and bully me.
     
    I'm scared of planes. When I see plane flying on the sky I'm always scared that it drops some kind of bomb or shoots me down.
     
    I'm scared of flying in plane or any flying machine and being on ship or boat. I always feel that the plane is going to crash if I'm on it and I feel that ships are going to sink if I'm on them. I've never been on either of them because I'm so scared.
     
    I'm scared of people that have some sort of weapon in their hands knife, gun, chainsaw or anything like that. I'm always so scared that they get this random urge to hit me with it and kill me.
     
    I'm scared of blood. If I see blood somewhere I get this feeling that maybe it's my blood and my limbs and head start feeling dizzy and I get this feeling that I'm loosing blood. And if I think about cutting myself I can almost feel how it would feel in my brain.
     
    I'm scared of moderators and admins here and everywhere. I'm scared of them because I know that they have the power to ban me anytime they want. I'm always blushing and get so anxious if I'm talking to them and I try to be even nicer than usual to them. I feel that if I say 1 wrong word then I'm banned. And I'm also scared of people that have more power than me.
     
    I don't leave my stuff anywhere public because I'm always scared that someone will come and steal them.
     
    I'm scared of insects because I feel that there comes suddenly this giant spider and kills me. I don't know what was wrong with me but when I was in kindergarten I saw this giant ant it was like size of a cat I was so afraid. I don't know if that is true but I can still recall that image from my head.
     
    I'm also scared of all these terrorist groups and North Korea and USA and war and guns and stuff like that. Sometimes I'm also scared of losing my friends and family.
     
    If my parents are gone too long from home I got this feeling that someone has killed them. And always when someone knocks our door I'm afraid it's some serial killer or murderer. Especially if it happens late in the evening or night.
     
    I'm also scared that suddenly some random disease takes over me and I can't do anything ever again. I'm also scared of dolls and dark.
     
    I'm afraid of spinning, because I was once in some theme park and there were this spinning device where I was forced to go. After that I couldn't spin again without feeling sick and dizzy.
  16. 碇 シンジン
    I have wondered this for a long time. Am I really the person I'm being here or am I the person that I am IRL.
     
    I can't be both because they are totally different. Here I can be open I can share my thoughts and be happy. IRL I don't share anything I don't talk I'm always alone and at misery.
     
    I have wondered who I am for 10 years and I haven't found answer, but lately when I joined here the difference between my IRL behaviour and behaviour here has grown bigger. And that really puts me in weird situation. I try here to be strong, kind and helpful. I also want to share my feelings and thoughts and that feels good. IRL I just sit alone not interacting with anyone.
     
    I feel like my body is preventing me for doing things that I would like to do like speaking to others and etc. Maybe it is because I've been put into this mould which is made of social pressure. I feel like I can't express myself at all through that shield that I've made. I can't dig up and express my emotions anymore they are too deep. I don't know how can I beat this. Am I really the type of person I am IRL? Am I just pretending nice here or am I really like this? Why it's still feeling good if I'm pretending?
     
    I don't know the answers. I know nothing. I just wish I could be like you are. Free and able to express yourselves I'm just rock outside and I'm not sure what is inside. Our teacher told us about depression at school one day and she showed what are signs of depression. It was called IDC10 I think and I got score 10 and that meant heavy depression.
     
    But I don't feel depressed when I'm here I only feel when I'm at school or not here. You guys probably don't understand me but I just wanted to share this.
  17. 碇 シンジン

    My Typical day.

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    My typical day:
     
    6:30AM I wake up and check the forums
     
    6:30AM-8AM : Be on the forums
     
    8AM-2PM: Mandatory school but on the forums with phone.
     
    2PM-2AM:Forums
     
    2AM-6:30AM sleep
     
     
    I know I have some problems but this is the truth.
  18. 碇 シンジン

    Road trip

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    I was eager getting into the car it was my first ever road trip I was anxious and didn't really know what road trips were about but I wanted to be part of it so I got into the car
    At the beginning it was fun to watch through the windows, other cars and scenery. That was plenty for me as it was all new for I had not been around that area before. 
    more time passed and i was getting pretty sleepy as many hours had gone by it was fun while it lasted but I was already tired and needed some rest. So I laid down on the backseat as the car was still moving. I was still interested in the scenery though so I couldn't really get much sleep.
    I was conflicted I wanted to sleep but I also didn't want to miss the scenery I didn't know what to do so I just stayed still and closed my eyes.
    After I opened my eyes the scenery had changed there were fewer cars around and the roads were smaller this must be the countryside I thought. But I was from the city so I didn't belong here anymore so I tried to hide in the car just peeking through the windows.
    After some time I gradually became into a conclusion that I don't need to hide anymore so I just sat there quietly looking through the window
    I'm still sitting here as I write this
  19. 碇 シンジン

    Feel

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    ifeel its more peace in me now seeing that my friends are happy here without me bring here so often that i used to be
     
    here i saw the person who i want to be but its long journey ahead
     

    made by http://lovelyheartmlp.deviantart.com/
  20. 碇 シンジン

    brush

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    Rarity you're so lovely tiny pony, beautiful absolutely adorable little angel, such sweetie kind hearted generous, delicate gorgeous pony <3 A real jewel you are a rare beauty so fluffy little pony <3 <3
     
    I give you everything you coul ever ask for and everything you ever wish for my lovely queen <3 I pamper you <3 groom your silken pony coat <3<3<3 and brush your beautiful curly purple wonderful radiant shining mane <3 So sweet you are my little jewel <3 So precious beauty <3 Combing your lovely hair <3 soft velvet tail and you look ever so amazing, so stunning <3
     
    Absolutely perfect <3
     

  21. 碇 シンジン

    sleep

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    Rarity pony happy lay on ground, soft pony silken coat fur<3<3<3 lovely lovely like the soft pillow<3<3<3 Wonderful beautiful hair styled mane sexy <3<3 HEr happy face smile look at me <3<3 I come closer<3<3 walk im so tired <3<3<3 stroke her lolvely purple hair <3<3<3 pet her silken coat <4<4<4 snuggle nuzzle her lovely pony head <3<3<3 feeling her hair on me<3<3<3 feeling the lovely warmth of her body <3<3<3 soft silken like velvet coat<3<3<3 I go z<3<3
     
    Put my head on her lovely silken lap<3<3<3<3 so soft warmth feemilf she moves and wraps her lovely silken tail around me strokens my hair with her love hoof<3<<3<33<3< 3e i close my eye <3<3<3<33<3<3<3 I feel the love she comes kiss me goodngihtttt<e333333333333333333333333333333333333333

  22. 碇 シンジン

    Dresses

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    Raritys dresses are the most beautiful pieces of garment ever existed, perfext sense of fashion dress on her curvy sexy body lovely colors and designs, absolutely divine and elegant fabric that she of course crafts by her hoof so silken smooth shiny velvet lovely perfect garment gfabric most lovely dress ever to be made by living creature in all of existwence ever no one will ever reach the beauty and the amazing lovely level that she is on
     
    there are dresses and then there are Raritys absolutely amazing fabulous custom designed fabulous radiant hoof made creationgs of pure passion and love of fashion <3<3<3 The honor when you can wear her ultimaate design is the honor that every pony in Equesrtria and beyond wants to have she is the most beautiful most talented most generous and so lovely wondeer a rare jewel she is herself a beautiful angel pure embodiement of art beauty and passion lovely perfection is who she is <3<3<3<3
     

  23. 碇 シンジン

    xoxo

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    Rarity came closer taking gentle little hoofsteps, gorgeous flowing hair swinging slowly with her pony steps<3 like a warm breeze in the air she moved softly gently , so elegantly. White fuzzy coat purple tail and mane long soft hair, loking silken smooth velvet. Sight was beautiful, almost unbelievable. She raised slowly her tiny pony head, moved her blue star like blue deep cute eyes, looking to my eyes.
     

     
    She came closer I felt her warm pony breath on my cheeks her looking into her big captivating eyes her I felt her adorable hair on me, pony tiny muzzle lovely little nose.
     
     
     

    <3
  24. 碇 シンジン

    voice

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    How can i speak without a voice, can anyone see me? I try to call help but without the sound of my voice people just walk by.
     
    Does anything that i say even matter when no one is there to hear me. Is it worth it to even try when you see that it isnt working. How can i know what i sound like if no one hears me. Do i sound like delicate light creature or the exact opposite.
     
    Can i define who i am if my voice is not heard. Is this why people around me cant listen what i say? Why my voice cant be heard.
     
    There are times when i say things waiting for an answer that never comes, other things come into peoples minds before my voice. I seek help but i see only ears who are deaf to my call.
     
     
     
    There is more than just a voice in a communication between people. I cannot deliver my message clearly with my voice. I try to deliver it by other means but no one is there for me. No one listens my silent messages.
     
    I feel like a foreigner no one understands my language I am only one of my kind they say i am special but is that even good thing when I am alone even when there are people around me. They can hear me.
     
    Just me alone. Me no one else.
  25. 碇 シンジン

    love

    By 碇 シンジン ,

    You are so soft and beautiful, just wonderful. It feels like nothing else with you.
     
    I say things, you say things. I am afraid, what do i do in this situation. I dont understand, maybe its not like this afterall.
     
    I look you, you look me but i cant meet your eye. I cant feel it close. I cant know who did it. I cant know who are you. I look but i cant see.
     
    I see only myself lonely in dark. She is gone. She was only in my head. I try but its too late. The flame burned out already. She says me thing. I say her.
     
    Why it is not easy. I dream of her. But when i try i see dreams are dreams and its not what it seems. I sleep more.
     
    Sleep all day i want to see the dreams again. I want to feel the love in my head.
     
    I want to hold her hand. But its just a dream teasing my senses.
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