Pandora

i just want this pain to end, sparks, i just feel stupid, broken but i still force smiles and giggles. like..i feel so stupid i gave my heart away again only to let it be f-'ed up again.. like grr..

Safe to say, at my wits end? Heart continues to ache and it's slowly driving me crazy; Thoughts pop in my head i haven't had for a while. This aching heart better start healing soon.. I can't keep forcing smiles irl. Work is hell, love is dead. bah, what else? How much longer till I crash down fully again? Sometimes i feel so numb, othertimes i only cry.

this.. more often than not lately

a small dog, because oc is small?

it's not really an emergency but my mood dropped so i decided to leave the rp + the character just doesn't really fit in; so i told ghost i'd drop out; my emotional state is everywhere anyway and 1 v 1 rp feels safer for me i just wanted to try

She would look at Ghost and gave a soft giggle at the boop but before she could even order something, she was pulled back into the demon realm and vanished infront of him, while mouthing 'sorry'

“Atleast call me by my actual name, miss. Don’t be rude..” The demon would frown and pout. “I.. haven’t been here in years do you think I can magically read everyone’s feelings..?!” She added before sitting down with a thud and her tail tapping the ground. She would quietly watch the Ghostling, uncertain weather to join or leave them be as she probably just ruins the adventure for them. ”um.. you guys go.. I’ll go um.. eat some sweets..” she muttered

Ayakashi would float behind him and giggled softly. Oh boy.. she heard. “Mister.. pickle pants? Hehe..! Spunky” she was clearly amused. “I like her!”

this song is still like.. accurate haha </3 Taking baby steps to try and recharge - cause "Someone just wounded my heart." that person being Ex. Then stuff at work also going wrong, people leaving, boss hating, etc. Like..i'm so so dead tired, i feel numb at times? but at the same time my chest is going bonkers? Like i try to rest every single time i get home from work but my mind is so so active; & it's still hanging onto stuff that i need to let go. Sooo.. yush, idk, ? still trying to fix this broken heart; not helping that his bday was a few days ago ahah.. stupid mind x3 Why think of someone who didn't actually want you, who left you for dead and made you worry for nothing..? It's silly how the brain works sometimes.

Ayakashi took notice and she stopped in the middle of her tracks. "Hmm..? ooh!" out of curiosity she used her own pointy tail to pry it out of Ghostbits. "hah!" she smirked as she managed to pull it away from the tail. Not to.. create chaos or anything. Sheer curiousity. "Soo... where's the sweets?" She said as her pointy tail would hold the crystal up high now. "We wants them.. i mean.. i don't know if the others do.. are they sweet tooths too?" The demon was way too excited..

She would stare and tilt her head, was she gonna take the bait? Oh heck yes, of course she was. "Sweets? I love sweets..." She suddenly coo'd with her red-ish eyes staring quite possessively at it. "I wasn't going to feed you that.. er.. i just heard the others talk about wanting to eat the rock so.... yeah..." She would admit.

… “Things from this world really don’t affect me much either.. but if you want to eat that thing.. maybe my horns could splice it?” She wondered “such a peculiar thing..” she would then tilt her head

with my self hate slowly growing again; i've grown to love this song.. strangely enough, aha, smh ; being ghosted & dumped hurts but it also hurts to be ignored.. lately things are eventful the wrong way so i turn to just listen to this song cause the voice is soothing for me.

"When you appeared in my world I feel myself becoming more invisible. Being too obsessed with you, Has made me no longer myself. When I miss you on lonely nights, I just want to make myself invisible. I want to forget all about you But my heart has been captured by you." I still hate how he did stuff.. cause it brings so many thoughts into my head that i can't get rid off. Even more so knowing that his bday is monday.. I had stuff planned out that are useless now. I think i'm stupid? Unimportant, whatsoever.

sad but i'll manage, I just have to make sure i smile again tomorrow or i'm going to ruin a colleagues day tomorrow and i don't want that

She would give a gentle nod of her head. “I’ll help.. until the realm pulls me back.” A big smile on her face “Ahah.. err..” she looked away awkwardly. “I… don’t think you are our type..” she admitted bluntly. “Yes.. demons have a bad name.. but I wasn’t always like this.. I um.. I died and was given new life like this..” she would point her sharp pointy tail up. “I’m.. harmless but I don’t know why I was summoned.. but if I was then others might be too.. the unfriendly kind.”

Ayakashi would smirk "A Ghostkin.. huh?!" she would think for a second and.. would sploot.. infront of him while giggling softly. "Me? Ah.. please don't be scared.." she would lower her voice. "I'm um.. actually a demon.. you know.. the rawrrr i do bad stuff.. kind?" she would admit. "But..i'm the good kind.. i don't hurt anypony.. i just like to play pranks.. but somepony summoned me and err.. i'll be stuck here for a while." She would point to the horns before pointing to the bells. "See.. when they chime lots.. i'm being summoned"

Ayakashi would tilt her head and with that the bells attached to her horns would chime. "Ooh..fancy.. reminds me of something.." She would murmur softly as she reached out to poke the Magikal Shard as if being drawn to it. "Maybe because.. us demons were summoned?" she would ask.. her answer wasn't all that dumb but probaaaably not right either. "what.. what are you?" she would then ask out of the blue.. a rather bold question that is. "your friends.. are also unique"

The demon would hang upside down and watched them from afar for a while but blew her own cover as she snickered when one was put into a princess dress. The snickering turning into a soft laughter "Bahah~" she then oop'ed and covered her mouth with her hooves. "W..what are you all doing?" she then said as she plunged down and landed on her hooves. Her eyes filled with curiosity. She usually doesn't get to be around ponies long but someone had summoned her and forgot to tell her what to do or who to prank. so.. she could roam freely for a while. "I mean.. hi!"

all kinds of moods at once, it's odd; 1 i wanna spoil myself to nice clothes 2 i wanna get some art to keep my brain happy 3 self care time? but i'm also just dead exhausted because i don't sleep well and i'm constantly in a worry / anxiety mode at moment <3

i've felt all kinds of emotions this week already but at the moment i'm just very giggly.. i guess it's the healing process and just wanting to forget what has happened; my heart continues to ache but it's getting better, i'm always going to worry ig

what a very nutty girl :A