Sneaky

Hm. This interests me, looks like something I want to do. Just wondering, what's 'shipping'? And yes, we have crossed a metaphorical boundary in this thread. I'm sorry, I'm tired, I probably sound so weird.

That's how my proofreadet formats it. I'm gonna have to talk to him about that...Did you get my message on FiMFiction? That's the account you should send the chapters in need of proofreading to. Unless you prefer e-mail or something else.

Lol time to edit most of what I wrote for chapter 2... Glad you told me that though, before I wrote any more.Thank you, I can finally set some priorities straight! And I think you'll enjoy chapter 2, it has some... humor, so to speak. The whole story really didn't turn out as dark as I had originally intended, but it's gonna get a bit more dramatic a little later. Watch and wait

I wouldn't mind being your editor, if you wouldn't mind my criticism. Truthfully, I would like to have an overly critical editor, because then I would know what to improve upon. My editor is very supportive, which I like, but still. Okay, I read the third chapter (or second. Whatever.) A question itches at me now. SPOILER ALERT: Why didn't Celestia's mother just teleport them -all- out? This definitely needs to be addressed next chapter. All in all, I'm honestly intrigued by this story. Keep it up, I want to know how Celestia handles this. And could you do me a favor? I've asked for feedback, and have gotten none. Could you tell me what I'm doing wrong/right with this new story I'm doing? Anything that bugs you, (like the wall of text, if it does), tell me. Be overly critical, but point out the things you like so I can expand on that. If you could do this for me, it would be helpful. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/57905/On-the-Eve-of-Chaos

All ive read is the prologue so far. It seems to have potential, and I like the mildly pleasant mood it sets. I would say throw in a little more descriptions and figurative language. Im gonna track it and see where it goes. It definitely has potential.

So I made this fanfic a week ago, and it was public on FiMFiction today. My proofreader said it was great, but it didn't get many views, probably because it has no cover picture yet. But I just needed to make sure it wasn't because its boring or something. Read, enjoy, tell me what you think. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/57905/On-the-Eve-of-Chaos

Do you have an estimate on when mine will be done? I already posted the story on fimfiction, just kinda lingering, kind of hoping its almost done...

I need a coverart for a story I'm making. Description: A colt, pure black, pegasus, blue eyes. Facing screen, has wings spread out, smiling, and his hooves are on fire. The position he's in should be similar to how fluttershy is in my profile pic Needs to be at least 250 x 400 px And I'll be sure to give credit to you

So I started writing this story that people on FiMFiction really seem to enjoy. Just thought I would share it here, and see what you guys think. Mild language, but usually part of the word is blocked out. Oh, and violence. It's nothing that would bother you if you play any war games, and even though I haven't written anything extremely gruesome yet, I've been known to get a bit descriptive when it comes to fights, so watch out for the later chapters. This is Chapter 1: Arrival ------------------------- Zachariah Smith's fingers tighten around the rock as he slams it into the head of his victim. "Please... Stop..." The teenager's brown eyes pleadingly look to you for mercy. You've seen that look before. That scared, helpless look. They always have it. It comes on when someone knows that they're going to die, that they are to enter the dark abyss of nothingness. But there's always hope, the hope that dwells in the bottom of their souls. The hope that, against all odds, you would save them from this predicament, save them from being lost to the world. The hope that maybe, just maybe, you would let them go, so they can live another day. The look had long since worn off on you, at least with strangers. But this time was different. Sam, the gang's pet, the most loyal to the crew, the one that kept us all together, was now being killed by you. Because he had committed treason. When Big Shaun gave you this task, you were surprised, and a bit suspicious. Sam committing treason? That wasn't him; you all knew that. But unless he was proven innocent, orders were orders, and you didn't want to become a hit target yourself. You raise the rock high above your head again. Dammit, Sam's eyes are stopping you like a shield. It's like something's pulling your arm back, though nothing's there. Except for the one part of you that still has emotion. That little sliver of emotion is all that stands between Sam and an instant death. A tear runs down his cheek. "Please Zach..." "Dammit Sam!!" The barrier is broken. You bring down the rock as hard as you can, hitting the kill spot on his nose. His face is bashed in. His eyes are closed, with blood streaming down his cheeks like tears. Oh God why? I should've let him go. I don't care if they would've killed me, as long as Sam lived... It's as if a hurricane is coming from Sam's broken shell. A warm wind rushes over you at unimaginable speed, drying out your eyes and suffocating you. The wind died away. You just sat there, dazed. And then it hit you. Harder than the tranquilizer needle that just hit your back. Sam was innocent. Mac was the mole. Sam just took the blame for Mac. Mac is dead anyways; but now Sam too? As your vision fades to black, you cry out in anger and despair. Why? Why Sam? Why not me or someone else?? You're out before you hit the ground. You're slamming a rock into Sam. No, wait, Sam is dead. What am I doing? You snap to reality. You look at your bloody hand, holding a bloody rock. Oh, shit, did I black out? -Yeah, you did. You were hit by a tranquilizer. Oh, yeah. But how come I'm not asleep still? -Beats me. You look down at the mangled up orange mess in front of you. What the heck is that? -It's a pony, why? Ponies aren't orange. What did I just kill? -An orange pony with a purple mane. And technically, you didn't kill it, I did. Okay, what the f*ck brain? -I'm not your brain. I was here first. What? -I was just catching some food, minding my own business, when you came along and stopped me. Who are you then? -I don't know. Trixie made me. This must be some type of dream. Maybe the tranquilizer is making me trip or something. So where am I? You look around. It seems as if the dream consists of being in a forest, while beating an orange horse, with some type of conscious voice in my head. You've had weirder dreams than this. You look at your hand. Suddenly, you drop the stone. My hand... Your hand is furry, and consists of four sharp, pointy fingers, and a small amount of palm. You follow your eyes up your arm and to your chest. Your dark brown fur is spattered with blood; and what's this? Sharp teeth and an extremely strong jaw. Maybe I'm a dog or something. Nope! Not a dog not a dog! You have a long scorpion tail that you can control like an arm. Well, guess I'm a scorpion-dog then? -Yes, we must be. We are the only one of our kind; like I said before, Trixie made us. You finally speak aloud. "Who's Trixie? She must have been half-asleep when she made this- er, us. Supposing this isn't a dream." -No, you fool! This is real! I am real! Are you so foolish as to think this absurd? "I think -you're- absurd. Now, I'm in control right?" You open and close your hands. You feel a slight resistance, but that's it. "Good, now I'm going to go explore this place. Might as well have fun before I return to reality." You start walking away from the dead pony. "No, you fool! That way is Ponyville! You'll get us killed!" That was you speaking, but it also wasn't you. "Ok, I'm turning off your ability to talk. It's my body now." The voice in your head begins shouting, but you somehow find a way to seclude it to the back of your mind. "Onward and upward now..." You finally stumbled upon a small cottage in the woods. Hm. Knocking on the door probably isn't a good idea, considering I'm a dog with a scorpion tail, and this house looks like it was made for someone three times smaller than me. Curiosity draws you closer, however, and you examine the cottage. Curiosity killed the cat. Well, I'm a fricken dog. You don' t have to reach very far up to touch the roof. It feels as if it might break if you lean into it, so you decide to take your paws off of it. You look down to see a little yellow and pink pony staring at you. "Uh, hello there..." It just stares at you. You decide it would be best to go. What? I can't move. Help! I'm paralyzed! You just stand there frozen, staring at this little animal. It's pretty damn cute, but you can't enjoy that right now. Because I can't move. Suddenly, something blue hits you in the face. It knocks you over and leaves you blind in one eye. "Ow, what the fu-" It comes back in a blue-and-rainbow blur, socks you in the jaw, then flies off again. Ooh, that hurt. Okay, I'm ready for this next one. You can feel your tail getting ready. No, not yet. -What, do you want us to die? Oh, you're back. No, I would rather not make irrational decisions until I know if this place is real or not. -No, you listen— You send him back to his little corner of the mind. You see the rainbow looping around back. Ready... It's going incredibly fast. You stick out your arms. "Hhmpf!" Its chest smacked into your outstretched hands and got the wind knocked out of it. Let's see, another pony, this one a shade of cyan with wings and a rainbow mane. This could be interesting. It struggles to breathe, and is kicking around in your grip. "Woah, woah now. Take short, small breaths. Come on." It does what you say and starts to breathe normally again. Oh. So it can understand you. "Hey. Hey, you all good?" It nods. "Okay, good. Can you talk?" What the heck kind of question is that? It's a freakin pony. "Of course I can talk!" You didn't expect that. "Oh, okay good... This will make things easier then. Do you have a name?" "Yeah..." You can tell she's being a smartass. -She? Well, it had a kind of a girlish voice. Kind of like it was trying to cover it. -I've never been able to tell the difference. And please don't trap me again. If you don't cause any trouble. -Agreed. "Okay then... What's your name?" "Uh, Rainbow Dash. What's yours?" Do we have a name? -I don't. Do you? Do you like the name Zach? -Sure. Sounds foreign. "Zachariah Smith. Zach for short." She scratches her head with her hoof. "Ok... Zach. So you're not gonna eat me?" You look at her curiously. -Must be the blood splattered all over us. Oh yeah. Dammit, whoever you are. -Sorry. "No, I'm not. I can explain the blood, but first I want to know if I can let you go without you trying to kill me." She looks at you reluctantly. "Alright..." You set her on the ground next to you. "Ok, now that that's taken care of.." You look past her and at the yellow pony. She's staring at you. Sh*t! I can't move again! Rainbow jumps between you two. "Fluttershy! It's ok! Let him get up." She makes an almost inaudible whisper. "Sorry.." You get up. Something about them both makes you want to pick them up and squeeze them. Hm. I thought you lost those feelings after you hit fifteen and joined the gang. By the way, how old is this body I'm in? -In relation to your world, I'm about seventeen. Wow! Same here! ...by the way, how do you know anything about my world? -You have the most control of the brain. You've modified me, and I was actually a mindless animal before you came along. Wow. That's pretty big. -Let's get back to the talking. Right. "Okay, now let me just make it clear that I'm not gonna hurt you. I just came here today, and really don't know where I am." Fluttershy pipes up. In her own way. "Really? You don't look like anything I've seen before. Are you hurt?" Hurt? "Well, I can't see out of my left eye, I have a pounding headache, and my arm was almost dislocated from when I caught Rainbow Dash. Is that normally okay?" -No. Dash is a little embarrassed. Fluttershy talks again. "I'm sorry, you poor thing. I would offer you a bubble bath, but you're much too big to fit into my doorway. Will this do?" "Will what-" She runs her hoof along your spine. It gives you the best feeling ever, along with the hair raising on your neck. You let out a kind of purr -Whoops. That was me. You feel like jelly, and fall down on your face into the wet grass. You and Rainbow stare at eachother. "Should we take him to town?" Rainbow finally suggests. "No," you say, "he's much too big. Bring Twilight. And Applejack. And maybe Pinkie and Rarity too." "Okay. You could've just said that." Rainbow darts off. "And please hurry" You try to say, but she's gone already. ------------------- If you like it comment for more and I'll post the next chapters.

Hahaha. I'll post something else after breakfast in regards to your wasted time here.

Okay, so here's something I thought of doing after watching Season 1 Episode 21, the one where they all go to Appleoosa and have conflict with the buffalo. It's about the apple tree that Applejack is obsessing over. This poem does not reflect my writing, do not think I write like this, it was just something fun to do. Nonetheless, enjoy, and tell me what you think. And on a side note: it has a very small joke about homosexuality. I don't think it would offend anyone, but if you decide not to read that's fine. ---------------------- The Ballad of Bloomberg There was a tree named Bloomberg His life was filled with glory. But, his tale's unsaid So lay back in bed and let me tell you his story. When Bloomberg went to Appleoosa, he was overjoyed! He was happy to help With this marvelous exploit. Although he was happy He got a bit sappy When he knew If he were to do This he would have to leave Applejack behind. At least he had his own bed Syke! He had to share with Spike "Hey!" the apple tree Tried to say, "I'm not gay!" But when he looked and saw The young dragon's head He said, "Okay, maybe on Tuesday." The next day To his dismay He was kidnapped! By a band of buffalo Who with he had to go He said one last goodbye To his sweet apple pie Applejack... *sigh* When he was taken He knew he was bacon Just kidding; buffalo don't eat meat But they do love anything sweet. He knew he was safe When he saw their face(s) Spike, Rainbow, and Pinkie This sight, made him want to squee But he couldn't. He was a tree. The next day was nothin' But buffalo huffin' Because they wanted to torture All in the orchard But couldn't; The settlers wouldn't Have any of it. The day after that From where he sat Pies Blocked out the skies. The horrors he saw He could not bear; He watched Pony and buffalo fall. But wait! In the middle of it all A pony and buffalo stand tall. There he knew A friendship grew Between the two At last! This is great! He was planted Into the hill And there he stood, keeping vigil. But when he saw her He couldn't help but bother To become horny (whoops, did I ruin the story?) They hugged their last goodbye Applejack let out an audible sigh. When he shuddered His leaves fluttered Applejack laughed He wanted to cry. So today, when you go to Appleoosa "Where's ol' Bloomberg?" you should say. There, above them all He stands tall On the hill, keeping vigil. But, here's a fact: Every night, he looks for one sight His love, Applejack.

Thanks. Also, some other stuff I forgot to mention. I really don't know the usual standards for the fiction on here, so I'm going to refrain from posting stories until I get the jist of this place. I have a pastebin and a FiMFiction account, both of which are named Sneaky. If you want links, just ask me. Although I wouldn't really consider anything on my pastebin worthy of looking at, but you can if you want.

Hello everypony. I was just browsing the internet for mlp stuff, came here, and was astonished at how mild this forum is. No cussing, no constant berating... Sounds like something I want to be a part of. Let me introduce myself. Although I'm not gonna reveal my name on here, I'm 14 and just became a brony somewhere in late July. Since then I've watched the first and second seasons, been on 4chan (I really wouldn't recommend that place for mlp) and have been writing fanfic. And basically any free time that I have that I'm not with friends I do brony stuff.