Things you want everyone to know about your job.

[SkyDream 315]

Remember all those articles, "13 things your nurse won't tell you," or "12 things your lawyer wishes he could tell you"? Well, why not start one of those types of threads?

 

Okay I am three things. Maybe.

 

1) Keycutter.

 

• Copying keys is a lot more interesting and complex than "Cut the teeth identically." I've seen a lot of variation even between what is supposed to be the same blanks. The original might be slightly worn, extremely worn, warped somewhat, made incorrectly itself, or even have a crack in it that needs to be adjusted for, considering that it will get clamped into a vice. Long story short, there is a ton of stuff that can go wrong, and is just generally not accounted for by the person who has never copied a key, i.e. most likely yourself, dearest reader. It's not as simple as 1-2-3.
• If you need a padlock key copied, bring the padlock with you as well as the key. If any adjustments need to be made, they can do it right there. Your locked object will probably stay secure in the time it takes to copy the key, and will save you time going back and forth in case the key doesn't work properly.
• You're more than entitled to check the key yourself before you leave the store with your new copied key. Take a look at how a key is analyzed See the second image there? That will allow you to see if the key will enter the lock. If it matches your key, you can use any key blank that you want, as long as it enters. The keycutter can very likely cut it to the right length. I know I can do it, and I've never had anyone come back irate.
• If your key doesn't work at any point, CLEARLY MARK the malfunctioning key when you try it! Not later. Right then and there. The LAST thing you want is for the keycutter to mix up the original key with the nonfunctional key and put the original key in the wrong vice. That's so bad it's funny. Funny in a really, really sad way. It happened to me once when I was in a rush. I keep a sharpie in my pocket at all times these days for quick marking.
• If you bring in a blank that you bought yourself into a hardware store keycutting desk, expect some flak from the staff or their manager. It becomes a liability issue. Suppose, even if the keycutting staff are experts in their trade, that the keycutting doesn't work? What then? You're out the money you spent on the blank. Now what? Who gets charged for compensation, even if it's just a fluke? You're better off going to a professional locksmith for this. Or signing some sort of makeshift waiver. Not that I've ever seen that before.
• If you're going to make a car key, bring the car too. That's just common sense.
• Another thing about car keys - Do your research! There are some car keys that not only are they chipped, but they require two originals to make a copy, not one! A 2007 Ford Ranger is one such vehicle that stands out in my memory. That was a heck of a half hour figuring that one out.
• If you need a replacement FOB for your car, skip the dealer. They can and will charge you an arm and/or a leg. You can get them from here, and I've even heard plenty of success stories from people getting them from Amazon, as long as everything matches up and the seller has a good rating. The programming is fairly easy, and is always done at the car, and the instructions are on any website you can google for. Not really that hard.

 

 

2) Screen repair.

 

• There are plenty of tutorials out there already. Don't go right to the store. It gets costly. Very costly. In my store, it's $.29 per linear square foot for fiberglass screen, and $.59 for pet screen.
• If you want to do it yourself, know beforehand what size of spline you need - That's the rubber part that holds the screen into the frame. Believe me, there is no "standard" size. At all. Every screen that comes into my office is different. There is no way I can somehow predict how big the spline channel will be based on its type, unless it's an Anderson screen, which is an entirely different megillah. (Though you can replace the hollow metal splines with a 15/64 or 1/4 spline. I do it all the time.)
• Pet screen exists. It is a beast of a screen, believe me. It's really, really hard to scratch it. I'm not surprised. It's also very different, and harder, to install. You have to lay out a channel with your spline roller for it to rest in first.
• The tighter the screen is, the more of an .. interesting .. time you'll have in getting it back into the window frame. Oh it's quite possible, yes, but they tend to bend considerably. An original screen is actually machine-stamped from all sides at once, from what I understand. So there's no chance for one corner to get more pull than any others. But when you do it manually with a roller, unless it's really loose, or the frame is really strong, you're going to get some kind of pull.
• If you have a broken frame, and I mean broken in any way, consider replacing the frame with something strong. If the frame gets broken or bent enough, it's the equivalent of painting over and redecorating the walls of a building worthy of being condemned. It's just not worth the expense.
• On that note, if your frame is about the width of any of your non-thumb fingers or less, to quote South Park, you're gonna have a bad time. Or at least I will, as your screen replacer. Thin frames are ridiculously weak, and I've seen people struggle to get them back in their frames. Tightness of screen really bends them horribly. Don't even think of putting a pet screen in there. It'll look so silly. 

 

 

3) Computer repair & Virus removal. (If my boss saw me post this, he'd kill me. )

 

• www.bleepingcomputer.com - Go there. Now. Download just about everything from their downloads folder, including their antivirus removal tools. (Mostly for Norton) Keep a copy of everything on a USB Flash disc. I have never been sorry I did this.
• Burn yourself a copy of a Fedora Boot Disc. Any flavor of Linux, really, but we use Fedora 13 and 17. Make both, really. They behave somewhat different, and some computers prefer one over the other. Either way, you're looking for the ability to run the S.M.A.R.T. utility checker on your Hard Drive. One of the first things we do in the tech room is determine whether the Hard Drive is good or not. If it isn't, then it's not even that worth it to perform a virus scan. The customer tells us it's running extremely slow, and we instantly know one likely reason why. Bad Hard Drives are no laughing matter. We copy as much of the Hard Drive as we can onto our temporary storage space, just in case, do a few scans to detect viruses, and call the customer to see what they want to do.
• Have a backup computer in your house. It's really useful for looking up error descriptions and causes while you're looking at the screen of the betroubled computer. Be sure to keep it up to date, too.
• Abandon Internet Explorer, unless you have balls of steel and consider yourself tech savvy. (Some would say it's an oxymoron, but we all know better.) It's the most common internet browser on the most common type of operating system on the most common type of computer, we all say. Of course people would write viruses specifically for it.
• The office recommends Avast for its free Antivirus, and Eset NOD32 for its paid antivirus. I have Avast, and I've never gotten any sort of malware that it didn't know about. I do some pretty crazy things on this rig of a PC, too.
• Also have MalwareBytes, or Ad-Aware. A Malware Scanner is not the same thing as an Antivirus. They do very different things. Run both at least once a month. At least.
• A computer repair shop will charge you a heaping pile of money for something that you probably don't know you can do yourself. The first time I changed a laptop screen, I was left with the greatest feeling of victory, as well as a feeling of being cheated. Or cheating someone else. I'm still not sure. It was a lot easier than you'd think. The scariest thing was having to hold the screen up, and not knowing exactly how the ribbon cable fits into the slot. I've seen multiple varieties of configurations for that little holder, too. Look it up on Youtube if you're not sure. But it can definitely save you some big bucks.

 

[Legacy Dash 438]

While programming isn't my job, it's just a hobby, some people (probably not people here, but from school), seem to think programming goes a little like this...

 

Programming:

 

 

Some people think code works something along the lines of this...

Make player walk forwards when up pressed
Make player walk backwards when down pressed
Make player walk left when down pressed

When G key pressed equip machine gun

Spawn zombie every 10 seconds
Spawn big zombie every 15 seconds

Well, sorry to disappoint, but no.

 

Some think it looks like this...

4ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7d4ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7da9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c6294ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7da9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c629825c0865ffffe596f8f57715090da2634ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7da9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c629825c4ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7d4ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7da9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c6294ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7da9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c629825c0865ffffe596f8f57715090da2634ed9407630eb1000c0f6b63842defa7da9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c629825c0865ffffe596f8f57715090da2632453988d9a1501b2453988d9a1501b825c0865ffffe596f8f57715090da2632453988d9a1501ba9f27ee09dcde332e9a7b301c60ebf3796ec77acac2b6c629825c0865ffffe596f8f57715090da2632453988d9a1501b0865ffffe596f8f57715090da2632453988d9a1501b2453988d9a1501b825c0865ffffe596f8 

Or this...

01010110101110111001010110101110101010110101110111011101011100111101000011111010101101110101101111010101101010110110111010111001111010000111110101011011101011011110111011101011100111101000011111010101101110101101111010101101010110110111010111001111010000111110101011011101011011110101011010101101110101110011110100101101010110111010111001111010000111110101011011101010110101110111011101011100111101000011111010101101110101101111010101101010110010110111101010110101000110110111100110

But it actually looks something like this (taken out of one of my PHP projects).

<?php
    require_once 'includes/root.php';
    require_once 'includes/mysql.php';
    require_once 'includes/auth.php';
    require_once 'includes/recaptcha/recaptchalib.php';
    
    // reCAPTCHA stuffs.
    $publicKey = '6LcN2_QSAAAAAMOvg3gfKYkvwmZJcozfHWNnIeTf';
    $privateKey = 'censored, my private reCAPTCHA key is private';
    $error = null;
    $errorStack = array();
    
    if ( isset($_POST['username']) and isset($_POST['password']) and
	    isset($_POST['password2']) and isset($_POST['email']) and
	    isset($_POST['recaptcha_response_field']) ) {
	
	$remoteIP = $_SERVER['REMOTE_ADDR'];
	
	// First verify the reCAPTCHA.
	$resp = recaptcha_check_answer($privateKey,
		$remoteIP,
		$_POST['recaptcha_challenge_field'],
		$_POST['recaptcha_response_field']);
	if ($resp->is_valid) {
	    // Verification passed.
	} else {
	    $error = $resp->error;
	    $errorStack[] = 'Captcha code incorrect, we require that you enter this to prevent automated sign-ups';
	}
	// reCAPTCHA Verification complete. ----------------
	
	// Verify that username is valid.
	$username = $_POST['username'];
	if ( !(strlen($username) >= 4) ) {
	    $errorStack[] = 'Username too short! Usernames must be atleast 4 characters long!';
	}
	// Username Verification complete. ----------------
	
	// Verification complete!!
	
	// Any errors?
	if (count($errorStack) == 0) {
	    // No errors, lets get this guy signed up! 
	    
	    // Hash the password.
	    $salt = uniqid();
	    $hashedPassword = auth::hashPassword($_POST['password'], $salt);
	    
	    // Create the users MySQL row.
	    $query = 'INSERT INTO users (`username`,`password`,`salt`,`email`) VALUES (:username, :password, :salt, :email)';
	    $cmd = mysql::$db->prepare($query);
	    $cmd->bindValue(':username', $_POST['username']);
	    $cmd->bindValue(':password', $hashedPassword);
	    $cmd->bindValue(':salt', $salt);
	    $cmd->bindValue(':email', $_POST['email']);
	    $cmd->execute();
	    
	    // User ID.
	    $userid = mysql::$db->lastInsertId();
	    
	    // == Begin build of verification email ==
	    
	    // Get auto-increment value from the verification codes table.
	    $cmd = mysql::$db->query('SELECT `AUTO_INCREMENT` FROM INFORMATION_SCHEMA.TABLES WHERE TABLE_SCHEMA = Database() AND TABLE_NAME = \'verifycodes\'');
	    $ai = $cmd->fetchColumn();
	    
ETC,ETC,ETC...

 

 

[Shanks 10,816]

Oh man do I have a lot to say about my job. I am a dairy clerk/backup checker at a grocery store so get ready for a sarcastic and slightly cynical guide to my job that I knew would be wall o text but is apprently an even bigger one than I thought it would be.

 

Dairy Clerk

 

 

-The dairy department is so freakishly huge that it cannot all fit into one load. The two loads are the milk load which is mostly milk which alone averages 1000 pieces and the "grocery deli" load which is yogurt, cheese, cold juices, butter, cold biscuits ect...

 

-Loads arrive in 2 day incriments with one type of load coming in one day followed by the other the next day.

 

-Milk loads are much faster and easier to break down but everything needs to be physically counted and sorted before it can be put to the shelf which is not the case with grocery deli or wall loads as I call them.

 

-A lot of stuff from the meat, service deli and bakery departments gets mixed in on grocery deli loads and sometimes my stuff gets mixed in with meat department stuff. The meat department to their credit does everything they can to get their stuff as soon as possible but getting the service deli to cooperate is like pulling teeth.

 

-Certain add items get ordered and sent to us automatically so we don't run out, these are called "plus outs" and most of those come in on Mondays.

 

-Grocery deli loads are always late when we need them the most, part of it is due to increased traffic and increased demand on certain holidays and special occasions which I understand but it is still annoying.

 

-Wednesdays can rot in hell, seriously screw you Wednesday. It is the first day of the new add and my Wednesday grocery deli load is nearly always late which means by time I have to order for tomorrow I have no idea what the hell we even have and often screw up the order for the next day (and Thursday is the only day of the week we I get both loads in on the same day).

 

-A head dairy clerk for all intents and purposes is a department manager but is not officially called one which matters because department heads are paid more. Seriously the dairy department is probably tied with Reciever (back room manager) for the 3rd most difficult department to run in the whole fraggin store with Frozen head taking 2nd and Night Crew and Meat Manager tying for 1st.

 

-Injuries are shockingly common in this industry and I am living proof. To date I have had 4 work related knee injuries and 1 semi work related knee injury that I am currently still recovering from. After the injury before my current one the district manager talked with me (I wasn't in trouble or anything) and told me about how serious this was and told me to be more careful. He said that back in 1992 there were so many workers comp claims that the company almost went under.

 

 

Backup Checker

 

 

-You can get written up for even the slightest mistake, I am not kidding. There are so many things that you can do wrong that you can get in trouble for that it is not worth it.

 

-Whoever said "the customer is always right" is full of shit. You have to pretend the customer is to keep your job but every now and then you will run into a certain policy where this is not the case a good example being certain laws regarding alcohal and tobacco sales.

 

-Knowing how to speak BS fluently is an absolute must.

 

-Due to local ordinance every retail employee above a certain rank even if they are rarely or never in the checkstand has to attend a refresher course on alcohal and tobacco sale policy called TAM (Techniques of Alcohol Management) training. Due to company policy we are paid for this time but it does tend to screw things up.

 

-You are goign to deal with a lot of people that are either so mind numingly stupid that you wonder how they are able to have enough brain cells to put on their pants, people who are complete and total jerks who will call for your head at the slightest thing or worse yet people who are both.

 

-You have to memorize a butt load of codes to ring up produce, there is a lookup menu but it dosen't have the codes to everything unfortunetely.

 

-You would be surprised how physically hard it can be to stand in place for prolonged periods of time, at least when you are moving blood is flowing throughout your body but when you are standing there it remains stagnant. It is how I got my 4th knee injury.

 

[Teabee 59]

These may or may not be true, but some of the points are pretty funny.

 

Soldier

 

 

 

1. Not all of us deploy overseas and those that do react differently.  We don't all just become John Rambo and go hide in the hills.
2. On the flipside, we're not all heroes just because we signed the contract.  We're people just like you, with all that implies.
3. It's not that we couldn't make it through college.  A lot of us used the Army as a stepping stone to get to college.  (I already had a degree when I came in)
4. Basic training actually isn't that hard.  The secret to success is to keep your mouth shut and do exactly as you're told.
5. Sure you get to travel.  Just remember that there are only so many good postings and everyone wants to go there.
6. Yeah, we get to shoot guns...in basic training.
7. We secretly wish we had joined the Air Force.
8. Or the Navy.
9. Inside every infantryman is a POG screaming to get out. (Persons Other than Grunts, the nebulous term for the support guys who never have to see combat, sit in air conditioned offices all day eating candy and beef jerky, and don't do anything for the infantry)

 

 

Edited June 13, 2014 by Teabee

[Nulln 755]

I don't know the official title, but I currently work in a church.

 

- if you're not the pastor or a nun, you're going to be scrubbing every floor, wall, crack and crevice, every surface of every object every day.

-you 'get' two 15 minute breaks and a half hour lunch if you are there all day, but the nuns will sometimes take away your break if they want you to clean something that instant.

-there is no air conditioning.  it was 109 degrees before they decided to turn on the air.

-when they say no visitors, they mean no visitors.  there was a girl who's friend visited her during her lunch break, a nun lectured her the entire day about adultry, and then again the next day.  the girl never came back to work.

-as much as they work you, upkeep isn't all that important.  The kitchen is overrun with cockroaches.  They're even in the fridges.

-books (that aren't about jesus) are banned, smoking is banned, visitors are banned, phones are banned, everything is just banned.

-they rip people off in the thrift store.  they overcharge for used items.  and the people coming in to buy things are very poor and often homeless.

-their children run amuck throughout the whole church, while you are responsible for avoiding running into them while you are lifting heavy objects or cleaning.

-you are very replaceable.  no one even questions why you don't show up to work.  new people will always come to work in your place, or the entire workload gets shifted to whoever is left.

 

[M'aiq the Liar 5,804]

Well, campus PD here.

 

Women are worse drunk then men, Idk why, but dudes you can normally get to calm down and go back to their dorm, women get all uppity and in your face. And then they get tazed and cuffed.

Those movies were cops go missing make no sense, we have to radio in EVERYTHING. And I mean everything, from arriving on scene, to even doing a patrol loop, any longer than 10 minutes of radio silence and you are supposed to return to base.

There is no legal 3 strike warning system. A lot of the time, wether or not you get a ticket is entirely up to the officer. They have to record if they gave you a verbal warning, but there is no law that says "you get 3 strikes before you get a ticket".

We are in fact officers of the law, I didn't have to go through the academy since I was an mp, and I'm only a reservist, but most Campus PD officers are just as trained, and carry as much legal authority as normal small town cops.

We do infact profile. Call it prejudice all you want, but when a certain group commits most of the crimes, and when a certain type of car is statistically more probable to speed, we do watch more carefully.

Donuts are actually second to cookies, and energy drinks are more popular with the younger kids like me then coffee.

Most people in the general populace seem to be mentally deficient, we have honestly gotten calls were people were asking us to arrest their roommate because she used the toaster to early in the morning.

half of the calls we respond to are either total nonsense and a waste of time, or things that could have been resolved by walking away

college kids are far more stupid than highschool kids when it comes to behaving in public. Why you felt the need to get drunk and attempt to deficate on the statue is beyond me.

Most cops, especially those that do not have a military background are not very good at shooting. Like I showed up to the department qualification on 3 hours of sleep, and still outshot my entire department.

Most people cannot drive at all. Either they are all going over the speed limit, all over the lane like they are in a video game, or cutting across 3 lanes of traffic at once.

Women don't speed as often as men, and don't get in as many deadly crashes, but they are way more likely to run stop signs and traffic lights, and far more likely to flail all over the road like they are Mile Cyrus's music career.

 

Edited June 13, 2014 by Miaq_The_Truthful

[SeraphStar 398]

Sounds fun (let's see if I can do a spoiler on my phone)

 

Stower (Amazon)

 

 

— Walking for 9+ hours a day is the most fun thing ever. (Not)

— I probably stowed that Rainbow Dash Beanie Baby you ordered (so cute!! ).

— Lots and lots of MLP merch in general, and I've seen the toy form (FiM; EqG, otherwise) of: Dashie, Twilie, Flutters, and Rarity. I'm still looking for Pinkie (soon, I can feel it) and the Princesses (I probably shouldn't hold my breath for AJ ).

— I'll probably overdose on caffeine one day.

— Aaand STOP! Pony Time!

— Oh, and no I don't damage merch.

 

 

Addendum: Success!! Mah phone doesn't hate meh

Edited June 13, 2014 by SeraphStar

[Nulln 755]

Sounds fun (let's see if I can do a spoiler on my phone)

 

Stower (Amazon)

 

 

— Walking for 9+ hours a day is the most fun thing ever. (Not)

— I probably stowed that Rainbow Dash Beanie Baby you ordered (so cute!! ).

— Lots and lots of MLP merch in general, and I've seen the toy form (FiM; EqG, otherwise) of: Dashie, Twilie, Flutters, and Rarity. I'm still looking for Pinkie (soon, I can feel it) and the Princesses (I probably shouldn't hold my breath for AJ ).

— I'll probably overdose on caffeine one day.

— Aaand STOP! Pony Time!

— Oh, and no I don't damage merch.

 

why are my pokemon cards i ordered days ago not shipped yet  :okiedokielokie:

[Avatar tag: shipping 299]

Alright, this should be fun!  Lemme hit you with some knowledge!

 

EMT

 

 

1. We don't make as much as you think we do. To all the fry cooks wanting $15 an hour: I make less than $10 an hour so quit bitching. When you're exposed to deadly diseases, when you've been shot at, and when you've had to tell a family that mom/dad/son/daughter/grandma/grandpa/etc is dead, then we can talk.

2. EMS is intended for life threatening emergencies only, not as a boo boo bus.

3. Chronic illnesses are NOT life threatening emergencies. You've had back pain for years? Why are you calling us now?

4. Cuts and scrapes are NOT life threatening emergencies. Is is spurting blood? If not, you're fine.

5. Just because you have chest pain, that doesn't mean you're having a heart attack. Did you just overexert yourself? Did you swallow a big bite of food?

6. Your tax dollars pays for on scene treatment but NOT transport.

7. Ambulance rides AREN'T cheap. They can cost upwards of $1000. So if you're debating if you should call 911 or not because of the cost, you probably shouldn't. If it was a true emergency you wouldn't care.

8. Yes, we work shifts upwards of 24 hours.

9. Yes, we sleep at the station. A lot.

10. Though TV shows have been doing it for years, YOU CANNOT SHOCK SOMEONE IN ASYSTOLE!(flatline)!!!

11. You aren't doing CPR right if you don't break the patient's ribs.
 

12. A heart attack and cardiac arrest are 2 completely different things. DO NOT confuse the 2.

 

13. Ambulances are NOT Cadillacs.  They are meant to get you, a crew, and a shit load of equipment to the hospital as fast as possible.  They're rough and bouncy.

 

14. There's a reason the stretcher is hard and uncomfortable.  It's just in case you die on me and I have to start CPR on you.

 

Edited June 13, 2014 by FMStorm

[SeraphStar 398]

why are my pokemon cards i ordered days ago not shipped yet  :okiedokielokie:

Because I'm still battling my coworkers, but I'm at a type disadvantage at the moment.

[Nulln 755]

Because I'm still battling my coworkers, but I'm at a type disadvantage at the moment.

Did I at least get anything good in the packs?

[SeraphStar 398]

*Looks around to make sure my bosses don't frequent this site and whispers*

 

"It a secreeeeet."

Edited June 13, 2014 by SeraphStar

[Teabee 59]

Alright, this should be fun!  Lemme hit you with some knowledge!

 

EMT

 

 

1. We don't make as much as you think we do. To all the fry cooks wanting $15 an hour: I make less than $10 an hour so quit bitching. When you're exposed to deadly diseases, when you've been shot at, and when you've had to tell a family that mom/dad/son/daughter/grandma/grandpa/etc is dead, then we can talk.

 

2. EMS is intended for life threatening emergencies only, not as a boo boo bus.

 

3. Chronic illnesses are NOT life threatening emergencies. You've had back pain for years? Why are you calling us now?

 

4. Cuts and scrapes are NOT life threatening emergencies. Is is spurting blood? If not, you're fine.

 

5. Just because you have chest pain, that doesn't mean you're having a heart attack. Did you just overexert yourself? Did you swallow a big bite of food?

 

6. Your tax dollars pays for on scene treatment but NOT transport.

 

7. Ambulance rides AREN'T cheap. They can cost upwards of $1000. So if you're debating if you should call 911 or not because of the cost, you probably shouldn't. If it was a true emergency you wouldn't care.

 

8. Yes, we work shifts upwards of 24 hours.

 

9. Yes, we sleep at the station. A lot.

 

10. Though TV shows have been doing it for years, YOU CANNOT SHOCK SOMEONE IN ASYSTOLE!(flatline)!!!

 

11. You aren't doing CPR right if you don't break the patient's ribs.

 

12. A heart attack and cardiac arrest are 2 completely different things. DO NOT confuse the 2.

 

13. Ambulances are NOT Cadillacs.  They are meant to get you, a crew, and a shit load of equipment to the hospital as fast as possible.  They're rough and bouncy.

 

14. There's a reason the stretcher is hard and uncomfortable.  It's just in case you die on me and I have to start CPR on you.

 

 

EMT Brohoof! (I'm a medic and yeah, there's about as much of a future in being a Basic EMT in the Army as there is outside of it.)

[Nulln 755]

I got some more past jobs to talk about

 

working at the gym

 

-in the babysitting room, i know you don't care, but your kids are probably being brats

-also, some of your kids in the babysitting room are sweet little angels

-if you're a girl working at the front desk, you're going to get flirted with.  yes, most of the guys are pretty good looking 

-the gym/spa is for rich people.  most of those people see you as horse doodoo that must bend to their every will.  we WILL laugh at your expense the second you leave the building.

-the beginning of the year is the busiest time of the year, due to new year resolutions.  people will thin out as the year goes on. (get it, get it?)

-the tanning beds are the grossest things ever.  EVER.  We have to stick out faces into the tanning bed to clean them after every person uses them.  Then we go ahead and clean up the puddle of sweat and burnt flesh.  You can try to imagine what that smells like.

- we pretty much just clean up sweat during our slow times.

 

[Avatar tag: shipping 299]

EMT Brohoof! (I'm a medic and yeah, there's about as much of a future in being a Basic EMT in the Army as there is outside of it.)

 

Amen.  That's why I'm hoping to go to the fire academy here soon and then on to paramedic school.  Are you an Army medic or a paramedic out on the mean streets?

[Jennabun 1,579]

Teacher

 

 

1. You will be busy. Always. From late July to late May you will have so much on your plate all the time that it will be so hard to find time for yourself.

 

2. The job doesn't end when you go home. You will be at school from 8-12 hours depending on the day, and then you will have to do work at home too.

 

3. Be prepared to deal with crazy parents. There's this weird thing going on in America right now where, if a child isn't doing well in a class, the parent will point the blame at the teacher. Yes, even if the student refuses to do work. Yes, even if the student acts out in class. Yes, even if the kid is suspended or absent all the time. The parents will blame this on you, and you'll have to find a way to calm the waters. It's basically like being in customer service sometimes.

 

4. Sometimes you will be expected to give up your plan period and/or lunch time to cover for other teachers and do so with a smile on your face. Yeah, you'll get compensated, but it sucks losing that time to work.

 

5. You cannot go into teaching with the idea that you will be every kid's favorite teacher and best friend. Yeah, some kids will think you rock, and you'll have some great positive relationships with them! But no matter what you do, some kids will hate you. They may hate you just because they don't like the subject you're teaching. They may hate you because they don't like your voice or your clothes or your handwriting. They may hate you just because they like to hate things. But you can't take it personally, you just have to make the best of it.

 

6. You have to walk on eggshells when it comes to how to talk to kids. You must act professionally at all times. Anything could rub a kid the wrong way and make them feel uncomfortable - some jokes, comments about their appearance or personality, comments about their classwork, etc... you don't ever want to be caught acting immature and childish when you're supposed to be the adult. And kids are little sponges that will remember things you tell them for years and years and years.

 

7. You'll have to warn people close to you when busy periods of work are coming up or they may take it personal if you're not talking to them or socializing with them very much. The first few years of teaching can cause a strain in relationships just because of the huge amount of time it takes up.

 

8. Some people think it's an easy job since you get summers off. Not necessarily true. You will spend most of the summer either recuperating from the extreme stress you endured during the year, going to job trainings, planning for next year, or just thinking about school because the thoughts never go away.

 

9. You will get really sad when your students move on to a new grade at the end of the year. You will even get sad when the kid who refused to make eye contact with you all year leaves. You will realize you love all of your students and then your heart will break a little every time you realize you won't be seeing them every day.

 

10. Don't go into a teaching job expecting to be just a teacher. You will also be encouraged to be a coach, a club sponsor, committee member or leader, activity supervisor, or something else. You will more than likely be looked down upon if you are completely uninvolved with anything in the school besides teaching.

 

11. You should always prepare some inspirational speeches in advance for those days when your students ask questions such as "When will we ever use this?" or "I don't feel like reading today" or "This is too much work" or "Can't we just watch a movie today?"

 

12. You will be on your feet nearly all day. Teaching isn't just sitting at a desk in the front of the room and talking anymore. You will be up in the room walking around the kids and constantly checking on them as they work. Invest in some comfy shoes.

 

13. Never think you can have a slack-off day. You must fill every class with as much productivity as possible. You never know when someone may be coming into your room to observe your class or evaluate your job performance.

 

14. There's paperwork. A lot of it. Always needing to be filled out and submitted. So much paperwork.

 

Edited June 13, 2014 by Jennabun

[Boo 92]

I'm a small cafe barista!

 

 

☆ Frappuccinos/cold bar drinks are the worst thing to make, ever. I'm not saying they taste bad or anything, but they're a pain in the ass to create. I have to stop all of my hot drink creations in order to sit down and make a cold drink. It's attention-consuming and lame. This is especially worse in corporate settings (Starbucks, Java City, etc.)

☆ I don't work at Starbucks, but I have a close friend who does: when you order from the "Secret Menu" please just give the exact recipe along with the name! Some people don't know what a Capt Crunch Frappe is.

☆ My favorite drink is a small latte with 2 pumps raspberry, 3 pumps peppermint.

☆ That being said, we like being creative! If you go to a privately owned cafe, you should ask for us to 'surprise' you - you won't be disappointed. Usually. :-)

☆ Since this is a common question: Yes, I'm an English major (formerly art). No, I am not a hipster.

☆ Yes, a lot of hipsters buy coffee. No, they are not all terrible! You get some stuck up asses sometimes, but they're worth it for the wonderful regulars.

 

 

I'm not sure what else should be said!

@@Jennabun: This is a great post :-) I'm majoring in English Ed and I am looking forward to participating in the JET program, and it makes me so excited to begin teaching!

[GhostPony750 959]

I used to work in fish.

 

 

1. If your fish is brownish or smell, it's not fresh and dangerous for your health. Fresh fish is either red/pink or white, and doesn't smell anything!

 

2. Lobsters! You need to boil them alive, if they die before you cook them it will taste shiet. (sadly) You can keep them in the fridge for a day, they will stay alive.

 

3. You may sometimes see some worms, or even tons of them in your fish. No worries, it means that the fish is uberly fresh. Remove them and it will be all fine.

 

It was an horrible job, I hate playing with life. Those poor lobsters

 

[Lightning Code 23]

 

 

Or this... 01010110101110111001010110101110101010110101110111011101011100111101000011111010101101110101101111010101101010110110111010111001111010000111110101011011101011011110111011101011100111101000011111010101101110101101111010101101010110110111010111001111010000111110101011011101011011110101011010101101110101110011110100101101010110111010111001111010000111110101011011101010110101110111011101011100111101000011111010101101110101101111010101101010110010110111101010110101000110110111100110

 

 

I decoded your code yourself. Thats what I do. It spells this:

 

Thanks@ÌÞä٥ͥѥ¹Ks“Ê£“s›c£{’æ6öÐ

 

That was fun.

[Something Floaty 1,334]

Only one thing I can say, over and over again, that I want people to know about my job:

 

Unless your service was legitimately bad, TIP YOUR GODDAMN SERVER.

 

...please.

[Nulln 755]

I got 2 more but I'm taking breaks inbetween each job. lol, so on to the next one.

 

ANIMAL SHELTER (kennel attendant)

 

-you will NEVER get to see the animals unless you're on break

-even on break, you're not supposed to pet the animals or let them out of their cages.

-you may not care about that dumb ole rule and pet them anyways.  there are feral animals in some of those cages and yes it hurts (yes it is worth it  )

-you will be either washing dishes or doing laundry the whole time.  Out in the burning sun.

-dishes smell extremely bad.  it's animal food that's been sitting out for a while in the sun, the animals poop in it, most if not all of them have worms so you will see those in there too.  you need gloves, but that bleach and poop water will still manage to soak into the gloves and get on your hands.  keeping your hands in the bleach for as long as you will  each day for an extended period of time can cause blood cots in your fingers.

-the laundry is very full of static.  your fingers will feel like they're being poked by many needles with each new blanket you have to fold.

-there is no such thing as a no kill shelter.  they put animals down for sickness, aggressiveness, etc.

-you will want to take everything home, but you can't.

-you will be very sad coming to work and seeing a cage that once had an animal is now empty.  you just have to tell yourself they got adopted.

-there are tons of little baby fluffballs everywhere and you will squee with want and love everytime they charge at you

-there are some mean people that will come in and call the animals ugly.  you will want to punch them in the face, but you can't

 

Edited June 13, 2014 by ScumCandy

[Jennabun 1,579]

@Jennabun: This is a great post :-) I'm majoring in English Ed and I am looking forward to participating in the JET program, and it makes me so excited to begin teaching!

Aw, yay! Good luck with the teaching program! I did language arts education, so I'm pretty similar to you. It's simultaneously the most challenging job ever and the coolest job ever.

[Forlong 1,726]

yes, most of the guys are pretty good looking 

Better looking than me?

 

 

the tanning beds are the grossest things ever.  EVER.  We have to stick out faces into the tanning bed to clean them after every person uses them.  Then we go ahead and clean up the puddle of sweat and burnt flesh.  You can try to imagine what that smells like.

Sheesh.  No wonder you're a vegetarian.

 

Wal-mart associate:

 

 

• The batteries are right in front of you!  You have eyes.  USE THEM!
• Yes, I work here!  What, do you think I just ware a name tag everywhere I go?
• I don't know when we'll get restocked!  Even if we were in contact with truck drivers, they can't make any promises one when they'll be there, because of traffic and stuff.
• The pharmacy is always busy.  Always!
• We don't have all the stuff on the website.

 

 

[SeraphStar 398]

@ScumCandy

 

Between not cuddling the animals (nice, feral or otherwise) and not stomping jerky people who insult them (and the [edited for kindness] who abuse animals), I'd probably not do well at an animal shelter. Cutey kitties and puppies

[FoxyCryptid 4,330]

Doing Blue-Collar odd jobs is actually pretty grueling work. I want some of the people that look down on manual labor as fools work to try shoveling rock and debris sometime. Thrown in lugging full cans of crap up basement stairs as well.