'Mary Sue' guidelines & how to make a good Alicorn OC

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

I noticed that I've made and posted at least three times today, my list of guidelines of making a Mary Sue Alicorn OC. Since this is something I've worked VERY HARD to avoid with on my OC, I figured to make the list for those bronies out there that also want to make alicorn OCs, while avoiding being called Mary Sues.

 

It ain't going to be easy, some of ya'll might be tempted to 'fall under' the guidelines I listed. But at the end of the day you can decide for yourself if you agree with these guidlines or not, this is just what I follow. So let's get started!

 

Guidlines to a Mary Sue Alicorn OC

 

• Bad or good all the way in everything

                        Any OC is considered poorly done if they don't have any flaws within them, whether they be the good guy or bad guy, there's got to be a balance. Its boring if a character doesn't have any quirks, problems, or rough pasts that help to make them relatable to the fandom.

• Able to heal wounds instantly (this goes for amulets or medallions)

                        Seriously where is the danger, the threat or the sympathy for a character that can never die? Not only does this cause conflict with other OCs, but its just down right OP. OCs like this is what ruins a story, a game or an RP.

• Can conjure anything out of thin air (A total rip off of Discord)

                        If you ain't Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Twilight (and even they can't make things pop out of thin air all the time) or Discord, then your OP Mary Sue point blank and simple. Every Alicorn has their own special talent in magic, this doesn't and shouldn't automatically make them the ultimate magic users though. If they don't have any imperfections in their talents, then once again it's just Mary Sue.

• Can summon demons/monsters/dragons etc to his/her will

                        It's ok if a talent revolves around one special ability, like speaking to the dead, or talking to dragons, or animals. But to be able to summon powerful beings, beasts or spirits at the snap of a finger, spell or magic? Come on people not even Celestia or Luna does that!

• Can transform into any being they wish

                        This is a Discord trait…only he is known to do that, along with the exception of Twilight Sparkle. It's ok if it's a one time thing or flair, but to be a master of and change into any being at will? There's got to be ground rules to it otherwise it's OP. (An example of ground rules, my OC Night Lights, is a shape shifting dragon, however he can only transform into NON-MAGICAL beasts of any size or shape. HE CANNOT TURN INTO A UNICORN, or alicorn, or draconess etc)

• Is immortal all the way, meaning no damage and/or aging

                        The only two alicorns that have lived over a thousand years are Celestia and Luna, perhaps even Discord. They are the only three that should be allowed that right…don't kill that by taking advantage of that trait too…its not only OP but once again Mary Sue.

• Has the powers of Celestia or Luna cause they are related to them in some way

                        This also goes for other royalty characters of the MLP show, along with magical villains. To already have the powers of royalty or some powerful foe is unoriginal and unfair to name a few of what's wrong with it.

• Over the top character design

                        Bronies…pegasisters, dare I stress enough that character design is important in any OC? You make an alicorn that looks like Tinkerbelle threw up all over it, you are gonna get bad views on it! Keep the characters color scheme simple but original!

 

<--- Tinkerbell threwup on me

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

 

 

<--- Tinkerbell threwup on me

 

I actually like this design... 

 

Looks like something that I think would look beautiful in motion,especially if the color's in the mane flow.

 

Then again it might cause someone to have a epileptic seizure... 

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

I kinda think people can also do this to any species of ponies. 

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

I kinda think people can also do this to any species of ponies. 

Yup 

 

 

(this actually looks nice to me,i can imagine the rainbow pulsating softly   )

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,824]

Yup 

 

 

(this actually looks nice to me,i can imagine the rainbow pulsating softly   )

It does look nice. All it needs is just a great backstory that doesn't make it Mary Sue. 

[Kay Dreamer 884]

If I may also add: Canon Considerations.

 

If you want to remain canon to the TV show, EVERY Alicorn so far has either been a near-immortal like Celestia and Luna, or ascended to the role like Cadence and Twilight through a feat worthy of enormous power. Genetic aberrations causing Alicorn features are not canon. If your character is ascended, better have a really good reason for it, and if they're natural born, well... just write very, very carefully.

 

All Alicorns in Equestria are royalty, or are expected to become royalty. Alicorns are also crazy rare, and will draw attention wherever they go. I refuse to just hand-wave an OC's Alicorn traits in a roleplay, because it would be wildly out of character for my own characters to do so.

 

If you generally don't care much about canonicity in a roleplay, go ahead and do whatever. Myself, I like to keep things show-accurate, both with my own OC's and with the threads I participate in.

 

--------

 

Also, I beg of you; if you have an Alicorn OC who doesn't fit within MLP canon, and you DO prefer to stick to canon, take a good long look at them and decide if their being an Alicorn is really that important to their character. I see this so often. Otherwise lovely characters who have Alicorn features for no real reason at all. Characters who would work just as well, if not better, as Pegasi or Unicorns.

 

The mark of a skilled writer is knowing what to cut. It's so easy to give your character an enormous amount of traits that you love. It's much harder to trim that character back, peeling away the superfluous, the unrealistic, and everything which makes the character not quite work within the context of the world they exist in. (And for an enormous percentage of Alicorn OC's, being an Alicorn is one of those things! The same can be said for OP Unicorns, or non-Unicorns who have magical abilities.) Learn to cut. Ask most professional novelists, and they'll tell you it's for this reason that the second draft is far harder to write than the first.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

If I may also add: Canon Considerations.

 

If you want to remain canon to the TV show, EVERY Alicorn so far has either been a near-immortal like Celestia and Luna, or ascended to the role like Cadence and Twilight through a feat worthy of enormous power. Genetic aberrations causing Alicorn features are not canon. If your character is ascended, better have a really good reason for it, and if they're natural born, well... just write very, very carefully.

 

All Alicorns in Equestria are royalty, or are expected to become royalty. Alicorns are also crazy rare, and will draw attention wherever they go. I refuse to just hand-wave an OC's Alicorn traits in a roleplay, because it would be wildly out of character for my own characters to do so.

 

If you generally don't care much about canonicity in a roleplay, go ahead and do whatever. Myself, I like to keep things show-accurate, both with my own OC's and with the threads I participate in.

 

--------

 

Also, I beg of you; if you have an Alicorn OC who doesn't fit within MLP canon, and you DO prefer to stick to canon, take a good long look at them and decide if their being an Alicorn is really that important to their character. I see this so often. Otherwise lovely characters who have Alicorn features for no real reason at all. Characters who would work just as well, if not better, as Pegasi or Unicorns.

 

The mark of a skilled writer is knowing what to cut. It's so easy to give your character an enormous amount of traits that you love. It's much harder to trim that character back, peeling away the superfluous, the unrealistic, and everything which makes the character not quite work within the context of the world they exist in. (And for an enormous percentage of Alicorn OC's, being an Alicorn is one of those things! The same can be said for OP Unicorns, or non-Unicorns who have magical abilities.) Learn to cut. Ask most professional novelists, and they'll tell you it's for this reason that the second draft is far harder to write than the first.

 

I think this is pretty good advice here.

 

Im also glad you din't go the "stick to canon or bust" route because like you said some people just don't care(i know i don't)

 

Tho im abit confused.. I always figured any oc would be considered fanon because the oc doesn't exist in the show so regardless of how likely said oc is to exist within the show canon,it doesn't fit anyways because it doesn't exist officially within the show/comics ect in any way shape or form.. So to me making a oc based off of "canon" is moot,because it's not canon regardless of how well it would fit into the show,its fanon. ...perhaps im lost(??) 

Still,good roleplay advice here 

Edited June 14, 2014 by Pinkamena-Pills

[Kay Dreamer 884]

Tho im abit confused.. I always figured any oc would be considered fanon because the oc doesn't exist in the show so regardless of how likely said oc is to exist within the show canon,it doesn't fit anyways because it doesn't exist officially within the show/comics ect in any way shape or form.. So to me making a oc based off of "canon" is moot,because it's not canon regardless of how well it would fit into the show,its fanon. ...perhaps im lost(??) 

Still,good roleplay advice here 

 

A good 'canon-like' OC is one who, if they appeared as a background pony in the TV show, would look as though they fit into the MLP world without a hitch. No swords, no guns, no cars, no odd powers we haven't already seen in-universe. The EQE roleplay section has a very good set of guidelines regarding creating an OC who fits within MLP canon.

 

Yes, it's still a fan character. But it's designed to be show-accurate, and it doesn't break your suspension of disbelief when you're in a roleplay which is supposed to be subscribing to the same rules and overall tone of the show.

[Nulln 755]

I think if you're trying to make an alicorn canon, then don't have it set anywhere near the cast of the actual mlp:fim.  For all we know, there very well could be other princesses in other parts of their world that they just don't talk or know about.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

A good 'canon-like' OC is one who, if they appeared as a background pony in the TV show, would look as though they fit into the MLP world without a hitch. No swords, no guns, no cars, no odd powers we haven't already seen in-universe. The EQE roleplay section has a very good set of guidelines regarding creating an OC who fits within MLP canon.

 

Yes, it's still a fan character. But it's designed to be show-accurate, and it doesn't break your suspension of disbelief when you're in a roleplay which is supposed to be subscribing to the same rules and overall tone of the show.

 

Ahh ok,i never was really into roleplaying so it just seems wierd to me,but more power to people if they want to keep their stories believable 

 

I think if you're trying to make an alicorn canon, then don't have it set anywhere near the cast of the actual mlp:fim.  For all we know, there very well could be other princesses in other parts of their world that they just don't talk or know about.

 

There's also this. For all we know,their could be even more alicorns..or even *gasp* a male alicorn.

 

Imean look how fast Cadance popped up lol

[Nulln 755]

Ahh ok,i never was really into roleplaying so it just seems wierd to me,but more power to people if they want to keep their stories believable 

 

 

There's also this. For all we know,their could be even more alicorns..or even *gasp* a male alicorn.

 

Imean look how fast Cadance popped up lol

I would love to see a male alicorn in the show.  The only male royals they've shown were unicorns.  I wonder how their designs would be, since males are pretty stocky, but female alicorns are super tall and skinny.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

I would love to see a male alicorn in the show.  The only male royals they've shown were unicorns.  I wonder how their designs would be, since males are pretty stocky, but female alicorns are super tall and skinny.

 

Same,tho i fear it will never happen as i don't think(imo) the fandom could handle it..hmm or maybe they could idk..That is as long as it doesn't turn out to be Flash Sentry 

 

(wow couldn't really find any decent alicorn Flash Sentry pics,now i know the guy isnt too popular..)

 

 

Still.. On the subject of a alicorn Flash Sentry(imo)

Edited June 14, 2014 by Pinkamena-Pills

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

Alot of points valid in the guidelines here, even I knew when I first made my alicorn OC (off the fact that my life has basically changed and spiraled out to a new phase of my life) I still wanted her to remain hummble, unique and full of quirks or problems.

 

I hated the idea of being over powered or having the powers similar to the alicorns in the show, it was a natural rip off to me, I had to come up with something orginal, and since I think I found a legitatmate way of making her the 'alicorn of peace' her powers were more out of reflex or 'have a mind of their own' when it comes to negotiating or keeping the peace, however she'd be horrible in a fight.

 

After watching Twilight in OP mode going against Tirek I realized my OC wouldn't have stand a chance against Tirek or King Sombra, worse case scenario she'd be only able to fly away, teleport 2 miles max, or enforce a sheild around herself. Magic of peace isn't going to stop a villian that is motivated on the journey to seek power and conquest.

 

Peeling back on her wasn't my issue, it was adding really. I knew I wanted her to make sense in the MLP universe, peace is a natural thing to harmony (well they are both the same thing really) but being able to help other sentient beings coexist with each other is her primary duty. So she has a responsibility as..*cringes* Princess, yes... i realized she had to become a princess...its cannon to the show.

 

But that developes a quirk for her. She had just gotten married and wanted to live a normal life with her husband, but now she's an alicorn princess...She has or 'needs' to fully accept her role in that as Celestia has encouraged her, but she doesn't fully do so. Meaning she refuses to live in any one of the castles, including Twilight's castle lol (too close to the mane 6), and she refuses to take up being taught magic by Celestia, since she was orginally a pegasus. This causes a rift between her and Celestia. Celestia finds her to be a brat, or a big baby who's being irrisponsible. Luna on the other hand being Luna, tends to have more mercy on my OC.

 

In a way, unknown to my character, this is what keeps her unique to me, her magic reacts out of reflex during a dangerous situation, and if encouraged or assisted with, she can infact tap into that power to do something incredible, like ONE TIME turning into a dragon with the help of a potion by Zecora.

 

Theres many things I know I could improve on my alicorn OC, but I do my best to not fall under the guidelines of Mary Sue.

I actually like this design... 

 

Looks like something that I think would look beautiful in motion,especially if the color's in the mane flow.

 

Then again it might cause someone to have a epileptic seizure... 

 

And no...just no... This character is a nightmare for animators, I would know, because I am one.

 

The less colors the better, not to mention it's just lazy. This is a OC thats desperate for attention, it's screaming "LOOK AT ME" but when I look... it hurts, my eyes and animation's spirit.

Edited June 14, 2014 by Lightning Bliss

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

Alot of points valid in the guidelines here, even I knew when I first made my alicorn OC (off the fact that my life has basically changed and spiraled out to a new phase of my life) I still wanted her to remain hummble, unique and full of quirks or problems.   I hated the idea of being over powered or having the powers similar to the alicorns in the show, it was a natural rip off to me, I had to come up with something orginal, and since I think I found a legitatmate way of making her the 'alicorn of peace' her powers were more out of reflex or 'have a mind of their own' when it comes to negotiating or keeping the peace, however she'd be horrible in a fight.   After watching Twilight in OP mode going against Tirek I realized my OC wouldn't have stand a chance against Tirek or King Sombra, worse case scenario she'd be only able to fly away, teleport 2 miles max, or enforce a sheild around herself. Magic of peace isn't going to stop a villian that is motivated on the journey to seek power and conquest.   Peeling back on her wasn't my issue, it was adding really. I knew I wanted her to make sense in the MLP universe, peace is a natural thing to harmony (well they are both the same thing really) but being able to help other sentient beings coexist with each other is her primary duty. So she has a responsibility as..*cringes* Princess, yes... i realized she had to become a princess...its cannon to the show.   But that developes a quirk for her. She had just gotten married and wanted to live a normal life with her husband, but now she's an alicorn princess...She has or 'needs' to fully accept her role in that as Celestia has encouraged her, but she doesn't fully do so. Meaning she refuses to live in any one of the castles, including Twilight's castle lol (too close to the mane 6), and she refuses to take up being taught magic by Celestia, since she was orginally a pegasus. This causes a rift between her and Celestia. Celestia finds her to be a brat, or a big baby who's being irrisponsible. Luna on the other hand being Luna, tends to have more mercy on my OC.   In a way, unknown to my character, this is what keeps her unique to me, her magic reacts out of reflex during a dangerous situation, and if encouraged or assisted with, she can infact tap into that power to do something incredible, like ONE TIME turning into a dragon with the help of a potion by Zecora.   Theres many things I know I could improve on my alicorn OC, but I do my best to not fall under the guidelines of Mary Sue.

 

 

You know honestly it seems like alot of people are too concerned with how others would perceive  their oc.,which is fine if you want to roleplay(again,i don't roleplay so perhaps im missing something).

 

But honestly i see people changing their oc and back story on a whim just to please others or stay within the show canon..Even if they were happy with how it was already,one comment or show moment and it's "oh no my oc is too powerful or weak,my back story doesnt fit perfect now" and i don't see why anyone would stress themselves trying to appease others because you're oc/ponysona is a extension of ones self..So much like how i sure as heck wouldn't change myself or appearance for anyone on a whim just because someone doesn't like it,im sure as hell not going to change my oc or backstory. I could care less how my oc is perceived by "critics",i did not create them for their sake but to satisfy my own desire to create. If someone likes it,cool beans,if someone doesn't like it and wants to give me their opinion on how it can be improved ect cool beans,but i can't say i would care either way,especially pertaining to the latter.

 

Again,if you're into the roleplays and im sure some ppl are pretty strict and don't want a My Little OC: Battle of the Gods 3 roleplay,so if you wish to keep you're oc roleplay-worthy for the more traditional roleplayers,but i heavily dislike it when i see someone post a oc,then gets ridiculed(even when a opinion is not asked for) and then changes said oc just to please the critic(s)(sometimes to no avail) even when they were happy and proud with what they had already.

 

It boggles my mind in a fandom that prides itself on creativity,a good portion of it can be sometimes so artistically bigoted and demoralizing on the subject of oc 's that it almost seems to negate one of the things that i believe makes this fandom special: creativity. And to be honest i was quite frankly shocked to see this when i started following the fandom because imo it makes people fearful of making a oc thats unique to them and not a combination of their original idea and the opinions of critics.   

Again,if you're the feedback kind of driven oc creative person,cool.

 

But if not i personally i believe that if you love you're oc how it is you shouldn't change it for anyone other than yourself. 

 

 

And no...just no... This character is a nightmare for animators, I would know, because I am one.   The less colors the better, not to mention it's just lazy. This is a OC thats desperate for attention, it's screaming "LOOK AT ME" but when I look... it hurts, my eyes and animation's spirit.

 

 

- We all have opinions,some people dislike trance,and others swear by its auditory euphoria for example. Same for oc desgns.

 

- How is it "lazy"(in you're opinion) if its a nightmare to animate? Would that not imply that it is in fact difficult to animate,therefor making it anything but lazy because it is not easy to animate?

 

- Some people love colors in oc's and this is awkward to hear from someone who has a oc with a rainbow colored mane with huge black outlining hair surrounding it and massive ears disproportionate to the body. By you're same logic,you're oc is screaming "LOOK AT ME" no? 

 

- Im sorry it hurts you're animator spirit.

 

- I am truly shocked that someone with a oc like yours,a oc that i told myself "hey this person isn't afraid of the hate,way to go",a oc that is one of the most unique looking ive ever seen is saying something cruel and in all honesty overly-critical(considering your own oc) of someone elses oc.. I know you are free to have a artistic opinion but i am saddened to see this.  

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

@@Pinkamena-Pills,

 

- First off my OC isn't covered with marks, rainbow higlights everywhere, a wavy mane, and catering to the same look as Princess Luna. She has rainbow 'highlights' to her mane and tail only, white in color and black in the rest. Simple and done

 

- Secondly, if you don't know how to animate then you clearly don't know what i mean when I say "keep the character simple" in color schemes. The image stated above, has so many color schemes going for it, that any well paid animator would go nuts over trying ot keep the colors consistent and matching, not just in the mane and tail but the entire body.

 

- Thirdly, when I use the term 'lazy' in that OC's design, I mean litterally the person didn't take the time to come up with color designs that would actually be appealing to the in general audience of the fandom, let alone their own ponysona. Any artist person can make a pony and throw rainbow artwork all over it and call it 'pretty'. It doesn't always mean that its so to others.

 

- Fourthly, while I agree that it shouldn't matter what others think of your OC, because it is your own at the end of the day, that is quite correct. Why would I post this though? Simple, because it's to help those that are making OCs that DO worry about how others view their creations, can help to avoid what most of the fandom community hate the most to avoid the drama. That way they can have fun in RPs without getting kicked out, believe me i heard the stories. You cannot deny there are a lot of alicorn haters out there, and there are alot of alicorn OCs that are poorly created or unorginal and are simply made to win the attention of others. My OC got a good fair judgement in the past few weeks, and looks like once again by someone else tonight.

 

I respect your opinion though and will not proceed to tell you, you are wrong. But I ain't saying you're right either, because I also have my own opinion.

 

And as some say, opinions are like buttholes, sometimes they stink! LOL I love that   Yes this goes for my opinion too, it probably is stinky to you *giggles*

Edited June 15, 2014 by Lightning Bliss

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

- First off my OC isn't covered with marks, rainbow higlights everywhere, a wavy mane, and catering to the same look as Princess Luna. She has rainbow 'highlights' to her mane and tail only, white in color and black in the rest. Simple and done

 

 

 

Nothing simple about rainbow 'highlights' everywhere,and Princess Luna is the last pony id say Lightning Bliss reminds me of 

But im glad you're simple is more liberal than mine.

 

 

- Secondly, if you don't know how to animate then you clearly don't know what i mean when I say "keep the character simple" in color schemes. The image stated above, has so many color schemes going for it, that any well paid animator would go nuts over trying ot keep the colors consistent and matching, not just in the mane and tail but the entire body.

 

 

DHX must really dislike to animate Pincess Cadance,Princess Celestia and Princess Luna(by which you just said you're looks cater to)

 

 

- Thirdly, when I use the term 'lazy' in that OC's design, I mean litterally the person didn't take the time to come up with color designs that would actually be appealing to the in general audience of the fandom, let alone their own ponysona. Any artist person can make a pony and throw rainbow artwork all over it and call it 'pretty'. It doesn't always mean that its so to others.

 

 

This is a opinion. And what if they don't care to appeal to the general audience of the fandom,should they still limit their own imagination just to satisfy you're definition of 'pretty'?

 

 

- Fourthly, while I agree that it shouldn't matter what others think of your OC, because it is your own at the end of the day, that is quite correct. Why would I post this though? Simple, because it's to help those that are making OCs that DO worry about how others view their creations, can help to avoid what most of the fandom community hate the most to avoid the drama. That way they can have fun in RPs without getting kicked out, believe me i heard the stories. You cannot deny there are a lot of alicorn haters out there, and there are alot of alicorn OCs that are poorly created or unorginal and are simply made to win the attention of others. My OC got a good fair judgement in the past few weeks, and looks like once again by someone else tonight.

 

 

 

Fair enough,and no,i will not deny the fact there are many alicon oc's,i just do not care because people have the freedom to create whatever they want and i don't see why the fandom even gives a damn.

 

 

respect your opinion though and will not proceed to tell you, you are wrong. But I ain't saying you're right either, because I also have my own opinion.   And as some say, opinions are like buttholes, sometimes they stink! LOL I love that   Yes this goes for my opinion too, it probably is stinky to you *giggles*

 

 

HUZZAH this is something we can truly agree on

 

 

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

@@Pinkamena-Pills,

 

Don't you just love it when two different opinions collide yet we can still love and tolerate?

 

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

@@Pinkamena-Pills,

 

Don't you just love it when two different opinions collide yet we can still love and tolerate?

 

 

Indeed,i love it! 

 

 

Hmm you know maybe i will show you my oc's one day before anyone else,if only out of respect. I actually like how you are so not un agreeable on the subject of oc design and not to mention when i first saw you're oc months ago(i was just finding out what a "oc" was) i was contemplating on whether i should try to make a oc that the 'people' would like instead of 'me'. After i saw you're oc i was inspired to just say  "ya ima do what i want" lol 

[Lightning Bliss 1,674]

@@Pinkamena-Pills,

 

Well her design still is my creation, I'm not changing it just cause others say 'it's too much'. If I can animate it, and I CAN! lol, then she's not that bad.

 

Really the bad things I get about my OC, are that 1. she's an alicorn (derp) and 2. she's an alicorn that means she's OP or had a lazy back story yadda yadda.

 

I'm one of those where I like to be cannon if I can, which means I had to follow some rules, but still keeping true to my ponysona. Needless to say the problem with some OCs is knowing when to 'take away' as someone said. I was the opposite of that apparently... I had a hard time 'adding to' my character in regards to her abilities and quirks. Think I got her down though.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

 

 

Really the bad things I get about my OC, are that 1. she's an alicorn (derp) and 2. she's an alicorn that means she's OP or had a lazy back story yadda yadda.

 

 

Ya,not many people seem to favor alicorn oc's and its sort-of a damned if you do damned if you don't thing as far as how 'powerful' they are. If their too weak its "whay are they a alicorn" if there too strong its "you cant be more 'powerful' than the existing princesses" 

 

Personally,i couldn't care less 

[Kay Dreamer 884]

Another artists perspective on that rainbow-maned OC:

 

I actually like it. The only part of it I believe would make animation difficult would be the fact that the colours blur into each other. Separating them like in Princess Celestia's mane would make it no harder to animate than Celestia or Rainbow Dash based on colour scheme.

 

The rainbow colours match well, no single colour overpowering the rest. They're subdued in saturation, making them vibrant without being tear-your-eyeballs-out bright. The body of the OC is white, giving a nice blank canvas to the eye-catching mane. There are no ridiculous patterns, uncalled for stripes, or random bits and pieces added because 'it will look cool'. Finally, the cutie mark is made up of exactly the same rainbow gradient as the mane is.

 

Separate those gradients for animation purposes, and there'd be absolutely nothing wrong with this OC in the slightest.

 

@@Pinkamena-Pills, 

If your OC is not for roleplaying purposes, you can absolutely do whatever you'd like with it! It's only if it's for roleplay that you need to be considerate of how others may react.

 

Kay Dreamer was not originally going to be used for roleplay. When I did decide I wanted to RP with her, I pooled all the evidence I had regarding the canon existence of Crystal Pony Unicorns and Pegasi, and submitted her to EQE fully expecting I'd need to change her. I had other ideas in place for her if that was to be the case. That never became a necessity though, as they were quite happy with her. (And the evidence in the show that Crystal Ponies have the same racial divisions as regular Equestrian ponies only continues to grow, so I doubt changing her will ever be necessary.) 

 

@@Lightning Bliss,

Honestly, your OC is the only good, canon-accurate Alicorn I've seen on this site. While we're discussing them, I may as well toss you some opinions on her, as well.

 

If I'm to be honest, the only thing which really irks me about her design is the griffon tail. That pushes my personal tastes over the side of "okay, that's too much". Mostly because of canon considerations but also because she's also so distinctive that she really doesn't need it. That's one of the things that I, as a writer and artist, would cut.

 

I'm also not a fan of such highly-saturated rainbow colours. Even Rainbow Dash doesn't have colours picked from the top right hand corner of the Photoshop colour square. At least they're used sparingly in her design; they're not overpowering at all. They need to be vibrant enough to work with the black anyway, so even if they were subdued slightly they'd still need to be pretty bright.

 

But the fact she's an Alicorn, and I actually like her, means you've totally done something right! You've made such an enormous effort to meld her back-story with existing canon, which is the biggest reason why I like her so much. She's a very commendable character.

Edited June 15, 2014 by Kay Dreamer

[True Rarity 1,240]

Perfect. I'll make one when I get home and post it here. Be ready to be blinded by diabetes-tasting Mary Sue-ness.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

 

 

@Pinkamena-Pills,  If your OC is not for roleplaying purposes, you can absolutely do whatever you'd like with it! It's only if it's for roleplay that you need to be considerate of how others may react.   Kay Dreamer was not originally going to be used for roleplay. When I did decide I wanted to RP with her, I pooled all the evidence I had regarding the canon existence of Crystal Pony Unicorns and Pegasi, and submitted her to EQE fully expecting I'd need to change her. I had contingencies in place if that was to be the case. That never became a necessity though, as they were quite happy with her. (And the evidence in the show that Crystal Ponies have the same racial divisions as regular Equestrian ponies only continues to grow, so I doubt changing her will ever be necessary.) 

 

 

You're right,again im not the triditional roleplaying type so im still new to these laws that seem the be astablished XD

 

I honestly think the only scenario my oc's could play in is literally a Battle of God OC's type roleplay,where everything is bat guano crazy since my oc's are designed to go against things beyond the shows natural realm,tho that doesn't mean they 'win' all the time,its just exciting to play certain scenarios out in my head  

[Nulln 755]

I really like the super rainbowy pictures in this thread.  I saw a black and rainbow OC somewhere, I can't find it now, but it was pretty.

[Denim&Venöm 18,735]

I'm gonna go and see if my alicorn, Silhouette Dusk, fits the Mary Sue profile.

 

Guidlines to a Mary Sue Alicorn OC

 

• Bad or good all the way in everything

                        Any OC is considered poorly done if they don't have any flaws within them, whether they be the good guy or bad guy, there's got to be a balance. Its boring if a character doesn't have any quirks, problems, or rough pasts that help to make them relatable to the fandom.

 

Definitely passes this one. She's reserved, proud of her position and demands the best from herself. She'll react to threats in a more aggressive manner, even her diplomacy is subtly laced with intimidation and threats. She's stubborn and will stay focused on a task, problem or adversary, even if it's a determent to her own well being. Rough past? She used to be the Empress of Equestria, yet she watched as the 3 pony tribes took over at the expense of her own subjects, and when she fought back, Celestia & Luna called her a tyrant, overpowered her and sealed her in ice where the Crystal empire used to be. 

 

• Able to heal wounds instantly (this goes for amulets or medallions)

                        Seriously where is the danger, the threat or the sympathy for a character that can never die? Not only does this cause conflict with other OCs, but its just down right OP. OCs like this is what ruins a story, a game or an RP.

 

Nope. She can get hurt. Sure she has Superman and Thor levels of tough, but even they were able to get hurt and die. 

• Can conjure anything out of thin air (A total rip off of Discord)

                        If you ain't Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Twilight (and even they can't make things pop out of thin air all the time) or Discord, then your OP Mary Sue point blank and simple. Every Alicorn has their own special talent in magic, this doesn't and shouldn't automatically make them the ultimate magic users though. If they don't have any imperfections in their talents, then once again it's just Mary Sue.

 

The only spells and abilities she has are those demonstrated by the pony races in the show. 

• Can summon demons/monsters/dragons etc to his/her will

                        It's ok if a talent revolves around one special ability, like speaking to the dead, or talking to dragons, or animals. But to be able to summon powerful beings, beasts or spirits at the snap of a finger, spell or magic? Come on people not even Celestia or Luna does that!

 

Last time I checked, Summoning wasn't cannon. The closest thing I've seen to that is teleportation. 

• Can transform into any being they wish

                        This is a Discord trait…only he is known to do that, along with the exception of Twilight Sparkle. It's ok if it's a one time thing or flair, but to be a master of and change into any being at will? There's got to be ground rules to it otherwise it's OP. (An example of ground rules, my OC Night Lights, is a shape shifting dragon, however he can only transform into NON-MAGICAL beasts of any size or shape. HE CANNOT TURN INTO A UNICORN, or alicorn, or draconess etc)

 

Don't forget changelings. And yes, the princesses can transform (Ex: Luna in Luna Eclipsed). But for the most part, she has no need for that. 

• Is immortal all the way, meaning no damage and/or aging

                        The only two alicorns that have lived over a thousand years are Celestia and Luna, perhaps even Discord. They are the only three that should be allowed that right…don't kill that by taking advantage of that trait too…its not only OP but once again Mary Sue.

 

 

She still takes damage, but eternal youth comes with being an alicorn. 

• Has the powers of Celestia or Luna cause they are related to them in some way

                        This also goes for other royalty characters of the MLP show, along with magical villains. To already have the powers of royalty or some powerful foe is unoriginal and unfair to name a few of what's wrong with it.

 

​

Again, anything cast in the show by ponies, she can duplicate, including princess magic. She needs to be as powerful as Celestia since that's the only way Celestia can perceive her as a grave threat. 

• Over the top character design

                        Bronies…pegasisters, dare I stress enough that character design is important in any OC? You make an alicorn that looks like Tinkerbelle threw up all over it, you are gonna get bad views on it! Keep the characters color scheme simple but original!

 

 

You mean like this?

 

 

This was as close to my original plan as I could get with the Pony creator. She's supposed to have that mane cut on both sides, with a more stylized, edgier anime-esq facial design. A much larger wingspan would make her appear more imposing and make her flight more believable, plus it adds a sort of "dark angel" asethetic.  I would've liked to add silver and red princess ware that more resembled armor, like shin guards & boots on her forelegs, a mid-evil chest piece and a segmented angular crown. She was also supposed to be wearing the alicorn amulet, as she's the one who forged it.  Perhaps one day I'll draw her for real.

 

  Hopefully she passes. I thought she did.