What are your level/standards for friendship?

[EpicEnergy 23,244]

I consider those who I know very well and hang out with a lot as friends.

[Jesse Terrence 2,971]

Hrm. I guess I have some? I used to not be so untrusting until the equestriacon fiasco happened, but I learned the hard way kind people you hang out with a lot doesn't necessarily care and probably hangs out just for a lack of better people to be with.

So I go for actiquance: people I know but have no particular opinion towards. I don't trust them enough and I avoid contact unless necessary. I will act kind because I would like them to treat me kindly. You know, treat people the way you want them to treat you.

Friendship: I still don't trust them, but I don't avoid them anymore. I start to actually share some stuff I like on this point like music, videos and memes.

Friend: there's a certain level of actual trust here. I share things about me more easily, including unpopular opinions. I look after my friends a lot. Any problem or so matters to me at this point, and I'll try to be supportive even if uncalled for.

Good/close friend: I trust these people a lot. I openly share the best parts of me here. Instead of being the ultra snarky person I usually am, I let out bursts of dork playfulness and become more sheepish. I actually listen to advice and suggestions and I'm up to invest far more time than I should on helping or making my good/close friends laugh.

Best friend: pretty much like if they were part of my family. I'm up to sacrifice many things for my best friends. I show the softest parts of me on this level of trust, and I'm as honest as possible to my best friends, sharing things that actually make me feel embarassed of myself. I'm so ok with my best friends I don't mind moving in or letting them move into my place or lending them whatever thing they might need to take borrowed from me. I can forgive my best friends of almost anything. That's why it hurts so bad when they get tired of me.

[applesjck 5,605]

I consider people that I get along well with and have talked to for about a week or two a friend.

I love making friends!

[Cocokoru 133]

I didn't think I have those levels of friendship. But thinking about it, I actually do. Kinda. ^-^

I feel neutral to most people, unless I know them a little bit better in person.

Acquaintances are people who I just know a bit more about. I still don't know what to talk about, because we have not much (or nothing at all) in common. I don't trust them. Being acquaintances is even worse then not knowing someone (being neutral). Because we know each other good enough to know we don't fit together...

Good friends. I feel comfortable to talk about almost everything with them, but I still feel a bit shy around them. This can happen, for example, when those people don't have much time, it can take months or years to learn more about them. But I really love them and I don't wanna miss them.

Best friends. This is the highest achievable level in my opinion, since I don't believe in romantic and that kinda stuff. I can talk about absolutely everything with them and without a second thought. We like each other exactly the way we are. Which means I can be super crazy, silly and do all the other fluffy stuff. I want to surprise them often, just draw something for them when I feel like it and simply share my life with them. Best friends cheer me up all the time, just seeing them makes me incredibly happy and it enlightens my day over 9000! So to speak. They can be completely different than me, having totally different interests than me, but there is still something that connects us. I think it's their personality, their nature. It just works.

But yeah, that's really extreeemely rare. It's pure luck to find those people in life.

And yeah. I don't have a inbetween level called “Friends” or similar. Either I'm closer to them or not at all. There are various reasons for this. Different opinions about what friendship is for example. There might be people who live for those friend lists, like on Facebook. Maybe “collecting” them. It wouldn't fulfill me personally, my heart would still be empty. Another reason is that people often just vanish, especially online. Or it's a one-sided relationship. I learned that it just happens. Whatever relationship it will become, it just happens. I don't think we can look for something specific.

[Splashee 28,593]

I am still looking for a standard way to see what a friend should be like. People are way more different than I first thought. Many people can be nice, which is a good quality in a friend. Many people can be... Not so nice too, and if you start being too picky, there will be no friends left.

[ExplosionMare 21,177]

I like to tell myself if I can only talk to someone in one setting about a couple of things only, they’re just basic friends. If I can talk to someone in multiple places about almost anything, they’re good friends. I can also tell who the friends are by who I feel more comfortable opening up to.

[Clawdeen 20,063]

When I can have more deep conversations with someone is when I start to consider them a good friend. 

Edited February 19 by Clawdeen

[Snoopy Fan 7,725]

Being there for each other and having each other’s backs.

[Street Light 617]

idk, someone i can get along with, shares an interest. i like spending time with friends~

i do not see myself as someone who its easy to be friends with, though >:3c i can be very oblivious or caught up in myself to reach out uwu 

[Longhaul 7,996]

I don't have a lot of standards for friends.  If they're willing to put up with me, they're okay in my book.

[Raskolnikov 1,704]

Honestly they're generally high ^^", I MUCH prefer quality over quantity. I do allow for very casual friendships but I have zero expectations for them as most people fade in and out of people's lives anyway and I don't expect reciprocation from experiences.

Idk I think I have different expectations from friendships than most people lol. For good friends, a good degree of shared values is important but so is putting effort into a friendship - if one can't apply their proclaimed values into their interpersonal relationships, then I won't really trust them very well either. And if they treat people badly... I'm outta here. I can deal being by myself if it means not being surrounded by bad influences. I especially won't tolerate excusing abusers and abusive behaviour.

Edited yesterday at 04:43 PM by Raskolnikov

[Acinonyx 2,000]

For anything deeper than a casual relationship it's pretty high standards, gotta have at least basic level shared values to even get started in the first place and they also need to hold up their own end to maintain the friendship and this is where most people would start fizzling out. 

Firm believer of 'If you want to know what kind of person you are, look at the people you surround yourself with and you'll have your answer'. 

[Crypty Scribbles 6,379]

O! That's an interesting topic ^-^

Actually I have certain levels of friendship. I developed them (partially snatched from the internets, LOL) to build right boundaries with people and limit level of my responsibility.

Top level - is the most close and important people for me. I love them. Here's people who I can completely trust. Who I can ask about emotional support at a tough minute. And of course I'm ready to do a lot for them. If they will call me at the middle of the night I will go without questions. RN only two names in this list: my dear wife and my best friend. Practically, they are my family. ^3^ I hope to add couple names more in the observable future.

2 level - are close friends. It's my gang. Relationships here are built on mutual respect. Here's people who I like or admire but don't feel safe to let them too close. Or they aren't interested to develop relationships with me further. Or just people I don't know well enough. Some people here are great all around, but they are too painful to love. I try to remember their birthdays and what they love or dislike. I can help them if I feel comfortable with it. I keep promises given to them. I don't exploit their help but I can ask their advise a lot. But I avoid to be vulnerable with them, cuz not all of them are safe. There's not many names. I guess a dozen or two.

3 level - are casual friends. Many and many of beautiful people I'm meeting in my life. I'm trying to warm them with kind word, remember their names and what we were talking about, share my advise if it can help. But also I keep a respectful distance to them. 3 level does not mean I underestimate this people. I'm watching carefully because among them I can meet someone who I could get closer to in the future ^3^ Almost any new person in my life (with very rare exception) is starting here, even dearest people of my life.

Any level below are people who I avoid...

Of course I can move people back and forth in this list depending how our soul alchemy is going.

Edited 23 hours ago by Crypty Scribbles

[Sparklefan1234 179,402]

On 2020-01-14 at 5:30 AM, ExplosionMare said:

I like to tell myself if I can only talk to someone in one setting about a couple of things only, they’re just basic friends. If I can talk to someone in multiple places about almost anything, they’re good friends. I can also tell who the friends are by who I feel more comfortable opening up to.

 

On 2025-02-19 at 5:11 AM, Clawdeen said:

When I can have more deep conversations with someone is when I start to consider them a good friend. 

 

These quotes describe my friendships with both of you and @Ice Princess Silky <3 perfectly!😁

[Clawdeen 20,063]

2 minutes ago, Sparklefan1234 said:

 

 

These quotes describe my friendships with both of you and @Ice Princess Silky <3 perfectly!😁

Same with you Bestie!

[Ice Princess Silky <3 17,924]

I like this question:

I know many many people both irl and online.

If I were to rank them by stages. There's the initial stage:

Acquaintance. I am courteous. Kind. Warm. But always polite. This is a more superficial level but if I do not truly know this person, I wish not to accidentally step on their toes by some misunderstanding, etc. So, best to keep things as mutually respectful as possible.

Associate/Ally: Someone who aligns with my principles or values, we're not close but we know each other enough to trust and row in the same direction should there be challenges in life.

Friend: This is where life has placed us together either through hardship that we both had to climb out of together or because we simply vibed really well together and I love this! 

I have made friends of which I have clicked with almost instantly! But ... what is interesting to me is when a friendship blooms with someone accidentally that I never would have thought I would get along with or I would simply tolerate their presence due to their abrasive natures, etc.

One thing that people who make it to friend level all had in common - was that they were genuinely good people. No matter their contradicting personality to mine.

Whether sweet, kind, rugged, rough, abrasive, angry at the world, etc... it did not matter to me. They were genuinely good people who harmed none, were not deceptive but honest and were simply abrasive due to a hard life, etc. And even if I failed to see the good in them due to my own cynicism, they perceived it in me -- which is just a reflection of their own goodness, in a way, and as time went by and I was forced to get to know them authentically... despite my skittish nature, boom -- friendship level uprank. Happy surprise!

Best friend - oh boy -- these are intense and amazing and fun! I can be my absolute self. Goofy, silly, angry, honest, raw or sad and they will not judge or warp my thoughts into something that they are not. Full trust. Fun, silliness, or heavy topics of any kind! So good. They know my heart like a book, my mind or my intentions, too! And it is like we are reading each other's minds. We can be in a room in absolute silence and instead of it being "awkward" it is like our souls are buzzing happily with peace! And I really like this level. Haha

TWICE this has happened by pure accident in recent moments. And the strange, initial shift when the friendship upgrades to that. Goodness.. Where something just "clicks" and you realize "o my gosh, this just got very real." I love it so much!!  

[Iforgotmybrain 6,917]

Oughhh, I don't think I really internally divide people or friends into certain levels. At most, there's basically people I talk to everyday (or almost everyday) and people I talk to maybe every week to every month, that's all. I can talk to someone everyday and not really enjoy super deep conversations with them, I can only chat with someone a few times a month and constantly want/have deep conversations with them, it all depends on the person and the vibes.

[Acinonyx 2,000]

20 hours ago, Acinonyx said:

For anything deeper than a casual relationship it's pretty high standards, gotta have at least basic level shared values to even get started in the first place and they also need to hold up their own end to maintain the friendship and this is where most people would start fizzling out. 

Firm believer of 'If you want to know what kind of person you are, look at the people you surround yourself with and you'll have your answer'. 

I've had some thought and had a realization actually. My standards for friendship are actually quite low, most people I meet just can't seem to get that right either. 

[Avery 212]

Hm. That’s a very good question. *rubbing my chin*
 

In a workplace: I’m very extroverted person, so I can brings people around me and talk to them without being awkward or whatever. “Hey or how’s goin?” I take initiative to introduce myself and get into any kinds of conversations. I have no problem with titles or ranks in my workplace because I see people as the same. If you respect me, then I respect you. If you don’t respect me then we will have a problem. I have no problem telling that to you. People may think I’m friends with everyone or the popular guy who everyone pulls their attention to and greet, but are they my friends though? No. I don’t connects with them enough to make them into my friends. What happened in the workplace, stays in the workplaces period. Work over relationships.

Outside: Hmm.. fat chance meeting people. Strangers are not my type to go-to to chat and mingle. Yes I’m extrovert but not the party type. I’m EnTJ, for reference- that means I put jobs over everything else- so mingling with strangers are not my things. Jobs/work brings people to me, because we work together and talk together. Even if it feels forced sometimes. But if we are here on the same boat, we might as well get along right? (For the sake of mine’s mentally)

 

Online: Now here’s the most challenging part. I read people through their physical attributes, their eyes, their tones, their gestures, to tell me what kind of a person they are. I have zero trust in meeting online people. How can you tell if that person isn’t who they say they are behind that screen?? But I’m not all that cold or close off, I treat everyone like I would with my coworkers. 

It’s takes a lot of effort and time for me to actually open up and allow you to be my friends. A-LOT of work. Like any jobs place, I grew up with meeting people who’s always gonna take something from you and as a person (not a robot), you make sure they don’t.