Is being aspie an excuse for never having a girlfriend?

[RainbowMau 291]

I say no! My mother always tells me that I'm half-aspie and that's why I've never had a girlfriend, but it's all a stupid lie from her, I know a lot of aspies who had a girlfriend when they were young, kissed when thjey were young, dated when they were young, and now they're married and with kids, I mean, something like that is not an excuse for being the loser I am

 

So, are you aspie of half aspie? What's your experience? What's your opinion on this topic?

Edited July 24, 2014 by RainbowMau

[Courageous Thunder Dash 7,810]

What? Heck no! Aspies are probably some of the most successful people in this world! Of course they'll have a girlfriend. I'm an aspie too!

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

This post has been redacted by the author.

Edited May 6, 2021 by Blue

[(MARVEL) Blue Blood 991]

I'm an aspie myself, but that doesn't mean I can't have a girlfriend. I just haven't gotten one yet because of the age and situation I'm in.

Aspie's are more than capable of getting a girlfriend. It's just harder for us, that's all.
EDIT: I've had several crushes, but each of them were nice to me, but don't come up with a plan. Believe me, taht got me into a lot of depression issues.

Edited July 24, 2014 by (MARVEL) Blue Blood

[TenorSounds 831]

Well I'm not an aspie, but I can give my two cents.

Well, like any condition that affects your social interactions it can definitely be a factor, but once someone starts using it as an "excuse" they're essentially psyching themselves out before they even give themselves a fair chance. I think your outlook is the right way to look at it.

[Shanks 10,811]

As another aspie I can personally say that dating is a lot harder for us because socialization in general is but what I don't like about this topic is the assertion that because someone is single or chooses not to date that there must be something wrong with them. For even some people who "normal" it can sometimes take a bit longer to have a successful love life but that is okay and some people aren't interested in dating and some people never will be. For me personally I want to date but I want it because I want it not because it is something society wants me to do or because I feel like I am a loser if I don't. Everyone is different and that is okay, don't get down on yourself .

Edited July 24, 2014 by EarthbendingProdigy

[Invincible 2,090]

I don't think that's true, and i don't think you should be down because of that. I happen to have an aspie friend which i've known from elementary school... you should have seen him. The guy's a superstar. Just because you might have a bit of a harder time socializing with other people doesn't mean you can't.

[Delirium 208]

I have aspergers and I've never had a girlfriend, but that's because I don't care about having one and don't have any interest in having one. 

 

But saying that you don't have one because you have aspergers? That's stupid. Really stupid. 

Edited July 25, 2014 by Stars Die

[\/ 650]

I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 9 or something, and I'm sure it's toned down quite a whole lot since then, and I've had no real relationship, but mostly because I'm considering being Asexual, but no, I don't think it's because of that. It could make it harder sure, but it's possible to find a nice understanding person to be in a relationship, or you could get into one of those middle/high school week-long relationships.

Also, the amount of people on this forum with Asperger's surprises me. An interesting thing to know.

[A goat 323]

I'm an apsie and I couldn't care less if I had a girlfreind. But saying all aspie's have no girlfreind is something an antibrony would say.

[Odyssey 5,713]

Nope. Just because most people with Asperger's/autism are a little out of touch with society doesn't mean they cannot have someone else to love. Don't think that you'll never get a girlfriend just because of your condition.

 

Personally, I suffer from a condition similar to Asperger's Syndrome, but I couldn't care less if I have a lover. Heck, I could go further and even say that I would hate it if I have a lover. -3-

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

Aspies typically find other aspies as girlfriends. That's what I've seen, at least.

 

*cough* If any female aspies are reading this, I'm up for dinner at Sugarcube Corner tomorrow. *cough*

Edited July 25, 2014 by Regulus

[SanityNotIncluded 335]

Well, to answer your question I wouldn't say so no. But to go a bit beyond it, I don't see why anyone should need an excuse to remain single in the first place. Unfortunately, society tends to use relationship status as a measure of social competence. This is a bad thing for a couple of reasons:

 

Firstly, it isn't an accurate measure of social competence to begin with. While someone may be in a relationship, this does not mean that the relationship is functional and it doesn't mean they necessarily have functional relationships with say, their family or friends. A better measure of social competence would be to look a person's social anxiety and how they deal with social problems.

 

Secondly, this way of thinking pathologises people who don't want to be in a relationship. That is to say, when people see you don't have a partner, they will conclude that you're socially incompetent and therefore that there's something wrong with you. Contrary to popular opinion, there are very valid reasons why someone might not pursue a relationship - in no particular order:

• Because they're asexual. For those unaware of the term, asexuals are people who, for whatever reason have little to no sex drive and thus would obviously be uninterested in most relationships.
• Because they have a job or hobby, which, while making them happy, doesn't really give them the time to have a constant relationship with someone.
• This is a bit more of a controversial one, but some people don't want to be tied down to one person sexually or emotionally. In that regard they might have a multitude of arrangements including lots of deliberate flings or "friends with benefits" .

That said, there are some "invalid reasons"... at least in my opinion:

• The most obvious is avoiding relationships because you either believe that men are all violent, sexually obsessed perverts or that all women are lying, gold-digging friendzoners. Mainly because the basis for it is false even if it is true for some people.
• If you secretly do want a relationship and are basically using "not having one" as a front for your insecurity.