writing Please let me know what you think

[Ember Gleam 167]

I do not normaly write poetry however, I recently made this for a dear friend that I lost in Iraq. Just was curious if anyone thought this was good. Thanks for the feedback =)

 

 

We Were There

 

The cemetery stretched a mile, a father walking with his child

With youthful innocence and a curious mind,

he asked his father who trailed behind

What price is it that these men paid

that there should be so many graves?

He could not help but crack a smile,

as he told his beloved child

“These men are here not for a price they paid,

but more so for a gift that they gave.

It is a gift that they will forever share,

I’ll tell you son because we were there.

 

The illumination rounds hanging in the night sky,

would always remind me of nights gone by.

Where I was with my brothers in arms,

so far away from our own cities and farms.

From many different homes and lives we came,

yet we were all still brothers just the same.

Never had I faced so much danger,

but with them at my side I  had never felt safer.

Even when the odds were too much to bare,

I always knew that they would be there.

 

We climbed the mountains, we took the hills,

the blood in our hearts we were ready to spill.

When rockets and mortars shattered the sky,

we stood our ground prepared to die.

Yet, even despite all obstacles in our way,

we always, ALWAYS would win the day!

They tried to break us only in vain,

for we fought through all the losses and pain.

We were knights of iron that could not be scared.

If faced with the enemy, we would be there.

 

It was not for our own desires we fought,

no for something that only through valor could be bought.

It was for honor and country and freedom we stood sound,

even in spite of all of those we have laid in the ground.

Our fathers fought for it and their fathers as well,

and we would not waver no matter how many fell.

The most precious gift that my brothers  gave,

was to give up one’s life so another is saved.

Because no matter how much the thought hurts to bare,

tyranny and oppression will always be there.

 

And this my son as you can see,

is why we are the land of the free.

We fight and die so that one day,

maybe peace can find a way.

For what we won we desire no parade or flare,

please just remember that we were there.

 

 

Ari Kleimon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Frostgage 7,975]

I really loved this. Very touching, great job.

[Ember Gleam 167]

Thank you very much I apreciate it =)

[Felix 1,363]

Wow. That honestly sounds quite professional. Are you a professional writer? It's truly amazing!

[Ember Gleam 167]

Thanks. No, I do not write professionaly or even that much at all lol. This one did come from the heart though. I miss him greatly.