Can i get some tips from other writers?

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

I've gotten the hang of some things, but never really get the first person perspective down. All i seem to be good at is third person, which i like doing, but i wish to know more about FP.

[Edward Kenway 27]

First person is from a single character's perspective. Let me pull an example from my own work -

 

 

Though, my curiosity got the best of me when I took a step inside. I saw the smaller, silvery glints up close this time. They were... microbots? But, they can't be my microbots! They were destroyed in the fire! Unless...

 

The small glints of the tiny robots rushed around me, as they went up to block my only exit. My legs started to shake greatly, as I thought of a way out. The alleyway's a dead end. I couldn't go the way I came, and it seemed way too hard to try to scale the smooth surface that blocked the easiest way to escape.

 

This passage is from Hiro's [the character's] point of view. It not only showcases his movements and such, but it also shows his emotions/what he's thinking about without him having to say it aloud.

 

Am I making any sense? It's my first time trying to explain FP to anypony, so I apologise

Edited April 21, 2015 by Peppermint Harmony

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

First person is from a single character's perspective. Let me pull an example from my own work -

 

 

This passage is from Hiro's [the character's] point of view. It not only showcases his movements and such, but it also shows his emotions/what he's thinking about without him having to say it aloud.

 

Am I making any sense? It's my first time trying to explain FP to anypony, so I apologise

Any tips will help, so don't worry about it.

[Edward Kenway 27]

Alright. If you have questions, I would be glad to help 

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

Alright. If you have questions, I would be glad to help 

Sure thing!  Oh btw, what kind of fics do you do? Mine are Dark/Slice of Life.

Edited April 21, 2015 by Candy Star

[Edward Kenway 27]

I do some fluff fics, but a lot of mine are serious. I mostly work with AUs, too. 

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

I do some fluff fics, but a lot of mine are serious. I mostly work with AUs, too. 

I'm doing a origin story for Dark Mist/Tainted Mist(same character), she has a split personality:

 

Dark Mist is the caring and loving one, while Tainted Mist is the sadistic and cruel one. meaning Dark Mist wants to be respected by those around her, while Tainted Mist gets off on the fear and misery of others.  

[Princess Periwinkle 3,778]

Imagine yourself in the situation. What I do is I think, "How would I explain what this character is experiencing to someone if I were that character?" Remember that your character does not know everything that you, the author knows. So pretend that you are the character and see how you'd react without knowing the plot of the story you're writing.

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

Imagine yourself in the situation. What I do is I think, "How would I explain what this character is experiencing to someone if I were that character?" Remember that your character does not know everything that you, the author knows. So pretend that you are the character and see how you'd react without knowing the plot of the story you're writing.

I thought about doing that, but just wasn't sure if it was the right way of going about it.

[Princess Periwinkle 3,778]

I thought about doing that, but just wasn't sure if it was the right way of going about it.

 

It depends on the author. Some methods work better for some and worse for others.

 

I have found that this method results in more realistic and believable actions from my characters, but again it might not be the method for everyone.

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

It depends on the author. Some methods work better for some and worse for others.

 

I have found that this method results in more realistic and believable actions from my characters, but again it might not be the method for everyone.

I do put myself in their shoes(or hooves to be more precise), and i do now how to be sadistic so my character stands out. I just have a hard time putting it into 1st perspective when i need to, so the two get mixed up easily.

[Pinkdasher7 27]

YOU should Try creating a thread of lines in witch the character would have too flow!

 

 -+<=  split logic curve

[Phoenix Flair 332]

First person is pretty much the only way I can write anymore.  I prefer it because it's really emotion-based and really demanding as far as characterization goes.  Plus it's the best way to display an internalized character.

 

When you write first person, always be aware of the duality and multiplicity the style can allow.  Use thoughts to make connections and remind the reader of important points that may not have to do with the current action.  You can brush over little things and establish priorities.  For example, say your character is falling off a cliff.  A very extreme example, yes, but still.  While your character is falling, you have a very brief but powerful opportunity to show character.  What are they thinking off?  Only the fall, because they are stunned and afraid?  A significant other?  What are they feeling, if anything?

 

It's also a very useful tool to immerse the reader fully.  To illustrate, your character is sitting in class.  You can really use first person to evoke empathy.  Is the character studiously taking notes?  Doodling?  Looking around the room?  Who or what are they watching?  The teacher, a crush, the clock?  Are the seats comfortable, is the room hot?  Is it snowing or raining or hot outside?  Are they worrying about walking home, thinking about lunch, texting under the table?  You can use this one moment to make the reader believe they are that character, as long as on some level you believe it yourself, feel what they feel, see what they see, think what they think how they think.

 

Second person may be able to do all these things, but the narrow focus provided by first person can be a lot more powerful since you don't have to describe things that aren't in the character's sphere of awareness.  It also requires a lot more monitoring, knowing the character inside and out and supplying them with a steady stream of action and stimulation while avoiding main character focus (basically that's when it's clear every character in the story exists only to interact with the main and not enough of their individuality is shown).  You've got to be able to write from the point of view of a naturally biased and somewhat unobservant main character while briefly supplying enough information for the readers to guess most of the important things the main doesn't see or understand.

 

And that's another important thing.  Misunderstandings.  Imperfections.  First person really exposes the writer, and while we have a natural inclination to hide our faults, you can't do that in real writing.  You can't show only their good side or have them only think clever, selfless things.  Humans are a bundle of insecurities, biases, prides, humilitations, cowardices, braveries, and everything in between.

 

Am I droning on too long?  Probably.  Hope some part of this rant helps.

[Verily British 145]

I'm kind of in the same boat, I probably could write in the first person if I wanted to, but I find it easier to do third person perspective instead.

 

You know what? I think I'll write two versions of the same random scene, one in third person, the other in first person. Then you can...I don't know, extrapolate from it or something.

 

Here's just a random segment from a generic HiE fic that I've literally just thrown together for this express purpose.

 

Third Person Perspective:

 

Anon looked around the rather bland basement that Twilight had let him use. He could tell that she had done it up in a hurry, the strange machines that often filled the basement's floor had been hastily packed up against the walls. She had brought down a spare mattress for him along with some blankets. There was also a candle and some matches at the top of the mattress near the wall it had been shoved up against.

 

Anon looked to his left side where Twilight was standing, wearing a sheepish grin on her face. "I'm sorry that this is all a bit... basic, but your appearance kinda caught me off guard." She said. Anon just patted her on the head,

 

"Don't worry about it Twilight, I think I'll manage." He told her, walking over to the mattress and sitting on it, he gave her a winning smile and a thumbs up.

 

First Person Perspective:

 

I looked around the rather bland basement that Twilight had let me stay in. From the looks of things I could tell she'd set it up in a hurry. All those strange science machines were crudely packed away against the walls, and for the bed she had simply slapped a mattress down near a wall and given me a candle.

 

I looked to my left at Twilight, who looked back with a sheepish grin on her face, "I'm sorry that this is all a bit... basic, but your appearance kinda caught me off guard." I walked past her and patted her head as I walked over to the mattress. I sat down on it and turned to face Twilight.

 

"Don't worry about it Twilight, I think I'll manage." I told her, giving her my best winning grin and a thumbs up for good measure.

-------------------------------------------------

Not the best piece of literature, sure, but I think this is generally how they would look when put side to side. Well, it's how I'd write it, at least. As for other tips, I think it would be the same as it usually is; proof-read your work, new lines for new speakers, use paragraphs effectively, never write in the present tense.

 

I don't know about anyone else, but nothing ruins a story for me faster than it being in the present tense. Look at any professionally written book; Harry Potter, for instance. Every book in that series is written in the past tense, as though it's already happened and someone is retelling the story to you.

 

But yeah, asides from common writing techniques, the only real difference is like what I've shown above.

 

EDIT: I can't believe that I forgot to mention this but the first person perspective is a really good way to get the reader involved with a story. It allows you to better expand on a characters thoughts and feelings, it makes it easier for the reader to place themselves in the mind of the character. As unimportant as it might seem showing the readers a character's thought process and views is a good way to show their personality.

Edited April 21, 2015 by British Brony

[HaroldGenhi 82]

Here is how I handle third and first person since I use them inter-changeably in my disjointed story of Comet and Creator (First part was a third person perspective of the entire events surrounding the characters. Third person is free to establish a setting as if you are looking down at the scene from some omnipresent position. You know what all characters are thinking and what they will all do. This allows for some nice scenery to be established and what not.

 

The strength of first person is that you limit the scope of the story to just one person/pony. You can immerse your readers in their emotions, their doubts, and their joy. And despite first person being more limited than third person, there is one door that this opens up. You can be a deceptive narrator. You can make your character see things that aren't there, hear things that never made a sound and generate an air of paranoia. You can mislead the reader into thinking ill of other characters just because the character you are telling the story from distrusts them and has reasons for why they distrust them. If we were in third person, it would just generate an irony because we would know that the characters aren't thinking that way and their actions were not a part of some plan to go against the other character.

 

Take for instance a surprise birthday party. In third person, you'd describe the scene and it would generally be difficult to get a good sense of the character that is to receive the party. Using some tropes, they see that everyone is avoiding them (because they are preparing this party). They begin thinking that they did something wrong and try to associate it with some event. In 3rd person, that is a bit difficult to really drive home while avoiding mentioning that it was for a surprise birthday. Now put yourself into their perspective. Now you can just breed distrust and loneliness as they think they've done something wrong or they found out about some secret that is damning to their perceived personality. The limited scope would be used more efficiently to generate some nice suspense.

 

As others have said, put yourself into their shoes/hooves and be your character. Keep a general sense of where you want to go with your story, but have your character respond to events as per their created personality. I write with set events in mind, but with no clear build up to any of those events. I just craft my character's personalities and put them into the world with a slight driving force to push them into the story. Then it is all reactionary based events. If I feel that the character would not be able to make it to Story Arc A, then maybe I have some contingencies that would still move the story forward without removing the flow. If you wish to keep Story Arc A, you just pull in some outside force to drive them to that point of interest and you resume the reactionary steps. An equally important feature to remember is how other characters see your character. If you are constantly worried and they are a character that concerns themselves with others, then your character will impact them and therefore they should be included that is, if they see your distress, which you can hide physically as you write it out mentally. Other characters can see through the physical masks and will pry at your character. Again, the best course of action would be to place yourself in their shoes/hooves and answer it how your character would answer it. Would they avoid the question?

 

And another important point when writing in first person, avoid overusing "I", "me", and "my". There are plenty of ways to just describe a scene without it being all related to the character.

Including the character: "The sun hurt my eyes as it shone brilliantly over the golden fields of wheat that moved like the soft waves of the ocean." 

Without the character: "The sun brightly hung in the sky casting a golden glow on the fields of wheat that moved like the soft waves of the ocean."

This avoids stagnating the generally the most important words in a first person perspective. You can still make general third person descriptions of the scenery that the character can see without invoking the character immediately. If you take my example, you can use the second version and then have the ability for the character to add some emotional qualifier to the scenery, like a memory or an emotion. Again, this is just to avoid stagnating the words by overusing them.

 

That's all I got at the moment, but I can answer specific questions to the best of my ability.

[Tom Snyder 4,113]

For some reason this makes me feel outclassed, but i still enjoy it.

Edited April 22, 2015 by Candy Star

[StoneCold 144]

I believe one of the most important things when it comes to first person is to make sure you're using the character's voice. Take, for example, describing a chair.

 

An old man may call the chair "Sturdy" or "reliable" because he enjoys the craftsmanship.

 

A writer may call the chair "insufferable" because of the way it squeaks.

 

A little kid may just call it "a chair" because of their limited vocabulary.