critique wanted Rate a Alicorn OC

[hollow-shades 129]

I really wan't contructive criticism on my newest Alicorn OC, and...thats it.

 

https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/prince-techno-r9762

 

 

[SolarComet 26]

I like it, even if Techno doesn't have friends, and having an unknown age.

It should involve Princess Twilight welcoming Techno into royalty at least.

Edited November 4, 2016 by SolarComet

[hollow-shades 129]

I like it, even if it mostly has to do with Techno not having friends, and having an unknown age. It should involve Princess Twilight welcoming Techno into royalty at least.

This happened a lot before Twilight became a alicorn.

[SolarComet 26]

This happened a lot before Twilight became a alicorn.

 

What about Prince Blueblood?

[hollow-shades 129]

What about Prince Blueblood?

Well, he is atleast 2 human years older than Princess Cadance. I'd rather not jump on timelines.

 

I'm pretty sure that Blueblood simply would't care.

[Hazard Time 1,127]

Since I'm terrible with color theory and fashion, my constructive criticism will be on everything but Techno's color palette and clothing.

 

• It isn't really explained how he got the attention of Celestia, nor how he came to own a laboratory of his own.  On top of all that, in order to be one of Celestia's students, AKA join Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, I'm fairly certain you kind of need a horn.
• With the exception of the Everfree Forest and the Frozen North, the pegasi have complete control of the weather over Equestria.  Why would they need to rely on Techno, then?
• I don't believe alicornhood is given out to just anyone who does a good deed.  Even Starswirl, as powerful and famous of a mage as he was, never ascended to alicorndom, and this is assumedly because he never understood the Magic of Friendship.  Look to Twilight and Cadance, both of whom have contributed greatly to the general harmony of the land.  In Twilight's case, she spent several years studying friendship, and according to the books, Cadance created a new spell to make any two ponies fall in love with each other.  You see where I'm going with this?  Unless you can give a really good explanation why Techno was granted alicorndom despite his work having nothing to do with the magic of friendship, this doesn't work.
• Wait, he ascended to alicornhood BEFORE he graduated from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns?  I think that was a bit hasty of her, especially considering what I said in the above bullet.
• Where is his kingdom?  Is it a client-state of Equestria like the Crystal Empire, or entirely sovereign?  
• Do you really mean the "smartest" ponies, or the most well-educated?  One requires specific breeding practices, while the other simply requires access to a well-funded school or university.

[hollow-shades 129]

True, true! Thanks for poiting that out! Editing asap.

[Hastur 505]

Since I'm terrible with color theory and fashion, my constructive criticism will be on everything but Techno's color palette and clothing.

 

 

• It isn't really explained how he got the attention of Celestia, nor how he came to own a laboratory of his own.  On top of all that, in order to be one of Celestia's students, AKA join Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, I'm fairly certain you kind of need a horn.
• With the exception of the Everfree Forest and the Frozen North, the pegasi have complete control of the weather over Equestria.  Why would they need to rely on Techno, then?
• I don't believe alicornhood is given out to just anyone who does a good deed.  Even Starswirl, as powerful and famous of a mage as he was, never ascended to alicorndom, and this is assumedly because he never understood the Magic of Friendship.  Look to Twilight and Cadance, both of whom have contributed greatly to the general harmony of the land.  In Twilight's case, she spent several years studying friendship, and according to the books, Cadance created a new spell to make any two ponies fall in love with each other.  You see where I'm going with this?  Unless you can give a really good explanation why Techno was granted alicorndom despite his work having nothing to do with the magic of friendship, this doesn't work.
• Wait, he ascended to alicornhood BEFORE he graduated from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns?  I think that was a bit hasty of her, especially considering what I said in the above bullet.
• Where is his kingdom?  Is it a client-state of Equestria like the Crystal Empire, or entirely sovereign?  
• Do you really mean the "smartest" ponies, or the most well-educated?  One requires specific breeding practices, while the other simply requires access to a well-funded school or university.

Thank you, I didn't know how to convey these points; I'm fairly glad that you did ^^

[Techno Universal 2,575]

Well to be honest you may want to know that you're OC is very similar to mine.

You can see for yourself here: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/techno-universal-r9672

[hollow-shades 129]

Well to be honest you may want to know that you're OC is very similar to mine.

You can see for yourself here: https://mlpforums.com/page/roleplay-characters/_/techno-universal-r9672

Sorry, but I didn't see your OC before making PTechno.

 

Also, there are only a few things they have in common. Name, maybe pallete and technology-based (even though yours is more to a Progenitor, the one who made everything).