critique wanted The Last of Us: MLP:FiM

[ProbablyNotLyra 94]

Well, I'm gonna try and write a story in the "The Last of Us" style MLP universe. No, it won't be from Joel and Ellie's point of view, or from any big character in the games point of view. It'll be completely original characters, and their experiences and stories as they go through and witness Joel and Ellie's travels. It's my first time writing a story/book thing, so I'm looking for a bit of helpful critique. It's still a work in progress, but I'm trying to do something I think will be really cool and special.

 

You can find the story, or at least the very first part, here

Ya, I know, no actual chapters yet. I'm working on it!

Edited March 1, 2017 by ProbablyNotLyra