unequal relationships

[Zyrael 1,471]

Have you ever been in a relationship where you felt your partner was domineering/controlling? or where their feelings mattered more and you had to please them?

[StormBlaze 992]

yep. my first one. it lasted 7 years, but i thought it was normal. =/ 

it wasnt until I started getting a crush on a close friend of mine did I start realising that my relationship was wrong.He was the type to have a go at me for spending money on something small like a comic, but he was free to go buy a whole new PC build kit or airsoft stuff =/  

[Sphinx-Ara 3,569]

4 minutes ago, StormBlaze said:

yep. my first one. it lasted 7 years, but i thought it was normal. =/ 

it wasnt until I started getting a crush on a close friend of mine did I start realising that my relationship was wrong.He was the type to have a go at me for spending money on something small like a comic, but he was free to go buy a whole new PC build kit or airsoft stuff =/  

Sounds exactly like my previous relationship, it lasted 3 years, I knew it wasn't right, the way he was treating me, but I was guilted by him. He'd always guilt trip me whenever I tried to leave him and kick him out. It took my friend and new housemate helping me to fully see what he was doing to me and so I finally threw him out (Well it also turns out he had stolen about 400$ from our landlord that we live with, along with some things of mine, my housemates and a couple of rather expensive vinyl records that belonged to my landlord).. it also turns out his claims he would be homeless were totally bogus...I should have known...

[Techno Universal 2,575]

3 hours ago, Goddess Sunset Shimmer said:

Sounds exactly like my previous relationship, it lasted 3 years, I knew it wasn't right, the way he was treating me, but I was guilted by him. He'd always guilt trip me whenever I tried to leave him and kick him out. It took my friend and new housemate helping me to fully see what he was doing to me and so I finally threw him out (Well it also turns out he had stolen about 400$ from our landlord that we live with, along with some things of mine, my housemates and a couple of rather expensive vinyl records that belonged to my landlord).. it also turns out his claims he would be homeless were totally bogus...I should have known...

To be honest I've never been in a relationship but I have found that because of how modular my habits and a number of sectors in my personality are I would pretty much be running by the girl's requirements. But still my system would pick up on anything that she's doing that's unrealistic or too over judgemental so yes there is a line where I'll determine the girl as a bad person and pretty much break up with her. But still I would never mean to do anything bad in a relationship and I'll adapt to avoid myself from doing anything that the girl would determine as bad. Plus I do have the capabilities to be controlling if I need to. I will primarily only become controlling if the girl is repetitively doing something that's controlling or is she always tries to tap into my private stuff like if she invades my social media account that's logged in on my computer. But in the end everything I do in a relationship is always for the best and everything I do is closely monitored by my system and anything that the girl criticisises me over that's actually realistic will actually be taken into consideration and changed in my system.   

Edited August 1, 2017 by Techno Universal

[Guest]

No. I've only been in a single relationship and it was fine.

[StormBlaze 992]

3 hours ago, Goddess Sunset Shimmer said:

Sounds exactly like my previous relationship, it lasted 3 years, I knew it wasn't right, the way he was treating me, but I was guilted by him. He'd always guilt trip me whenever I tried to leave him and kick him out. It took my friend and new housemate helping me to fully see what he was doing to me and so I finally threw him out (Well it also turns out he had stolen about 400$ from our landlord that we live with, along with some things of mine, my housemates and a couple of rather expensive vinyl records that belonged to my landlord).. it also turns out his claims he would be homeless were totally bogus...I should have known...

bear in mind he was my first real relationship, so I didnt know any better. I'm rather old fashioned and not at all femminist, even now, I let Denz be the master of the house and take lead in the relationship, but I run the household. He's amazing about it though, he always puts me first and runs everything by me. But yeah the previous relationships were just bad. The one I had before Denz got to the point where I dreaded him coming back form work because we just stepped on eachothers toes. Even the bedroom activites were bland and felt love less. 

if you think youre in an unequal relationship, run it by your best friends or family, they will give you opinions on how you should be living. My best friend and my sister both called out my first partner, but i ignored them believing I could change the situation. They were right in the end. 

[Nerdy Luigi 2,065]

I've been in a few relationships, and that hasn't been the case in any of them.

[Steve Piranha 29,425]

Yeah, my family life felt like this from my mid-teens. Nothing changed even in my mid 20s. Now, I've got my brother who's the same, but he ain't parents, so I can fight back if he oversteps his grounds. 

About love life, no, I haven't, but that's because I've never had a girlfriend, and by reading all these bad relationships where one side gets his/her way by stepping over the other's, I've became reluctant over being a couple. Being alone has it's perks you know 

[Dreambiscuit 9,818]

I have never been in a domineering or controlling relationship. If that sort of thing was going on I wouldn't be a part of it. Simple as that. 

[Yakamaru 3,127]

My last relationship with my ex girlfriend was like that. She was a TOTAL control freak. Or a total psycho/lunatic. I don't know the difference anymore.

Spoiler for the actual story on how I broke up with the psycho.
 

Spoiler

 

"Oh, I get to decide when you get to talk to your friends!" <-- Suffice to say, I put locks and safety measures on everything, including always logging off everything from Facebook to Skype, as to prevent her from ever touching my contact lists.

"Oh, I get to decide who you talk t- Is that another girl? FUCKING DELETE HER FROM YOUR FRIENDS LIST RIGHT NOW!" <-- Note: My two younger sisters are pretty damn good-looking. The bitch reacted to my oldest younger sister.

She wanted to control LITERALLY everything. Who I contacted, in what manner I contacted them with, how long I talked to them for, when my private time(s) were, when to eat, what to eat, and how to eat it. Hell, even petting time with my Applejack. MY fucking cat. I am just glad I didn't stick my dick inside her. Holy crap. Found out about a month later from a common friend that she had STD's, so dodged a bullet there.

I threw her out on the day when I found her trying to find my porn folders when I got home on a I think it was a Thursday, wanting to delete them ALL. Suffice to say, she had a hard time navigating my clusterfuck of folders. I instantly locked the computer, and told her it's over, and that she can find herself another guy to boss around. The moment I did that, she went full rage-induced psycho. Screaming all kinds of verbal abuse. If I quoted her, it'd definitely break a couple rules on the forum. I just quietly packed her two bags with her shit, and went to the hallway. My aunt lived literally across the hallway, opposite to me. As we entered the hallway, I just told her to fuck off, she is no longer wanted. But her face was so red my words didn't seem to affect her at all. So I gave her a slap in the face that echoed throughout the hallway. Then silence for a moment. And I said it again: " It's over. I am sick of your shit, always wanting to control everything. Take your crap and leave. I never want to see your face ever again". She just stood there dumbfounded for a bit, as if a man would ever raise his hand towards her. Then she just turned around, red in her face but her cheek was clearly marked by my slap, and just walked down the stairs and out, waiting for the bus to take her back to her mom.

My aunt came out just after that, and asked me why I didn't dump the crazy bitch earlier. Quite frankly, I didn't know how to answer her, so I just shrugged, and said "I honestly don't now".