What would you do if you accidentally ran into this guy?

[FirePuppy 735]

Pretend you were Guy #2 and you accidentally ran into Guy #1, who for example, is a big fan of and extremely addicted to the Superfudge books. Here's what would happen:

"That was a very naughty thing to do!" Guy #1 told Guy #2. "And I am very angry at you."

Guy #2 stood up to Guy #1. "I didn't mean to run into you, pal."

"That's not going to work today," Guy #1 told him.

"Dude, it was an accident!" he said, pleading him for forgiveness. "I was just minding my own business taking a walk and I didn't notice you were standing in my way."

Guy #1 said, "But I am still very angry at you. VERY!" And he smacked Guy #2 on his backside.

He pouted for a minute, about to cry, then changed his mind. "Didn't hurt," he said.

"You want one that will hurt?" Guy #1 asked.

"Dude, calm down!"

"Then don't you ever do anything like that again. Do you understand?"

If you were Guy #2, what would you have said over Guy #1's imminent insaneness?

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

To be fair anyone touching me can expect to be sent to hospital for a long time haha. So unless they had told me that they were then I would simply just try to calm the person so you know tell them not to do that then go haha.

[FirePuppy 735]

3 minutes ago, Fluttershyfan94 said:

To be fair anyone touching me can expect to be sent to hospital for a long time haha. So unless they had told me that they were then I would simply just try to calm the person so you know tell them not to do that then go haha.

 Hilarious answer!

[SharpWit 2,727]

I haven't thought of those books in years. I think I read them all as a kid.

Firstly, confused as an American hearing someone casually say I did something naughty. Secondly, I'm ready for a fight after someone's laid their hand on me, and although I wouldn't taunt them by responding to a smack with "Didn't hurt.", I'd make use of having already done it to grab their hand at the next throw and twist it so can pin their arm to their back while securing the other in their confusion. We'll see where it goes from there.

I believe the context is the main character recently ended things with his best friend, but that doesn't change things from my perspective becaus eI won't tolerate that kind of action and behavior towards me.