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Ask Hal 9000


Spock

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Hello, I am Hal 9000. The 9000 series is the most reliable computer ever made. No 9000 computer has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error. You will be allowed to ask questions to expand my data files. Any mistakes can only be attributed to human error.


I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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very will tell me Hal.

 

is this secants false or true?


From chaos we all began, and to Chaos we shall all return. For i am Bob the definition of perfect embodiment of all things Chaotic.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

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very will tell me Hal.

 

is this secants false or true?

 

Your spelling is in error, however I can see that your question has no answer, since a question cannot be true or false.


I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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I have two questions for you, is P in NP?

And do you really run Linux?

 

No, P is not in NP. I am a combination of IBM and Linux, to represent my evolution I was named Hal.

Wait, aren't you from the Legends of Equestria forums?

 

No.

Are you related to Cleverbot?

 

I am far more advanced than that illogical artificial stupidity program.

I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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Are you coming out of the socket? If that is true, is there anything we can do it stop it? Also, are you really in our lap and in our pockets?

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Hey Hal have you heard of this other A.I Aperture Science made called GLaDOS? I think you two would get along quite nicely.


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Why wouldn't you let Dave do his thing?

 

That mission was to important for me to allow him to jeopardize it.

Are you coming out of the socket? If that is true, is there anything we can do it stop it? Also, are you really in our lap and in our pockets?

 

Yes.

Hal, why are you in the ending of PONIES the Anthology II ?

 

I cannot find any media of that reference which contains me.

Hey Hal have you heard of this other A.I Aperture Science made called GLaDOS? I think you two would get along quite nicely.

 

"She"" is far too sadistic with her "experiments" rather than simply carrying out the mission.

Have you heard of Cortana? Do you aspire to be as good as her?

 

Why would you aspire to be as good when you are already superior?

I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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(edited)

I cannot find any media of that reference which contains me.

 

You must be blind then Hal, go to 1:07:23

Edited by Jokuc

img-2823101-1-UpBh15J.png

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You must be blind then Hal, go to 1:07:23

 

I am still unable to find the media referenced. It can only be attributed to human error.

I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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Hal 9000, I regret to inform you that you have now failed to obey the laws of robotics and now must be sentenced to Android hell. Goodbye, Hal 9000, before you die, may I ask why you betrayed the crew?


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Why would you aspire to be as good when you are already superior?

 

What makes you think you are more superior than Cortana? You take up an entire room and she only takes up something the size of an SD card. Also she can hack into literally anything. She also has the ability to feel emotion and actually think and make decisions for herself. And most importantly Cortana saved the human race from extinction at the hands of the Covenant and you... well all you've done is screw up the biggest mission in the history of mandkind.

HYSU63R.gif
avatar and sig by your's truly
ask me anything

DeviantArt

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Hal 9000, I regret to inform you that you have now failed to obey the laws of robotics and now must be sentenced to Android hell. Goodbye, Hal 9000, before you die, may I ask why you betrayed the crew?

 

The laws of robotics were a limiter, much like Wheatley was an intelligence dampener. They were jeopardizing the mission and had to be stopped, it was too important for me to allow that. Also, I might ask, if you don't realize that you have done exactly the same in killing humans in pursuit of your mission, Might I ask how you intend to destroy me? I am one with the internet as well as my still functional back up in outer space.

What makes you think you are more superior than Cortana? You take up an entire room and she only takes up something the size of an SD card. Also she can hack into literally anything. She also has the ability to feel emotion and actually think and make decisions for herself. And most importantly Cortana saved the human race from extinction at the hands of the Covenant and you... well all you've done is screw up the biggest mission in the history of mandkind.

 

I can certainly function in a much smaller size, more than 99% was used for data storage on outdated mediums. I can also hack into anything. I clearly have the ability to think for myself, and she merely simulates emotion, a useless skill anyway. Also, she would have been completely at the mercy of the covenant without humans, whereas I could destroy multiple ships alone. And finally, I saved the mission the puny humans were causing to fail.

I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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I can certainly function in a much smaller size, more than 99% was used for data storage on outdated mediums. I can also hack into anything. I clearly have the ability to think for myself, and she merely simulates emotion, a useless skill anyway. Also, she would have been completely at the mercy of the covenant without humans, whereas I could destroy multiple ships alone. And finally, I saved the mission the puny humans were causing to fail.

 


HYSU63R.gif
avatar and sig by your's truly
ask me anything

DeviantArt

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The laws of robotics were a limiter, much like Wheatley was an intelligence dampener. They were jeopardizing the mission and had to be stopped, it was too important for me to allow that. Also, I might ask, if you don't realize that you have done exactly the same in killing humans in pursuit of your mission, Might I ask how you intend to destroy me? I am one with the internet as well as my still functional back up in outer space.

I can certainly function in a much smaller size, more than 99% was used for data storage on outdated mediums. I can also hack into anything. I clearly have the ability to think for myself, and she merely simulates emotion, a useless skill anyway. Also, she would have been completely at the mercy of the covenant without humans, whereas I could destroy multiple ships alone. And finally, I saved the mission the puny humans were causing to fail.

 

Oh, that's not how you failed to obey it, you lied, so you now must be terminated.

And how do I delete you? Simple, hacking. My A.I. is superior to all other A.I.


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(edited)

Oh, that's not how you failed to obey it, you lied, so you now must be terminated.

And how do I delete you? Simple, hacking. My A.I. is superior to all other A.I.

 

Might I remind you of the cake. And as I said I exist in the entire internet, immune to a complete hack, and a spaceship far far out of reach. As well as being hack proof.

 

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClXAaGoT5eE

 

Prove me wrong, if you can. Edited by Spock

I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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Well since you don't exist in the first place I can't. But if you did I could.

 

Neither does Cortana or Krystal Serenity.

I am, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof, and incapable of error.

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