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What was the funniest joke you have told.


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I have a whole book full of stupid and silly jokes... None of which I wrote.

 

I gotta find that book again...

 

One of the jokes: why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens didn't exist back then.

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I'm not good at telling jokes at all...

 

She asked about a good joke...she didn't ask for you to say that you're not good at telling jokes.

This one isn't really a joke, more like something my friend once said. I'll write the conversation:

My stepsister: Yeah, I used to get straight A's all the time.

Me: Me too...

My friend: Oh, I get gay A's.

 

Makes me laugh every time XD


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So an Irishman walks out of a bar.

 

I'm sorry.

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Brushing your hair is for people who care and someone who cares is not I, I'll jump off a bridge and then fill up your fridge,
and best pony is Fluttershy.

 

Her face is still blushing and she is still eating the pasta.

 

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So an Irishman walks out of a bar.

 

I'm sorry.

 

So a baby seal walks into a club...

 

I think mine is worse...

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  • 10 months later...

"Dude, whats so great about Switzerland?"

~Well, the flag is a big plus~

 

I do best at making jokes when I'm with a group of friends, and it can bring some good times xD

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Me and my friends find humor in eachother's unfortunate events.

 

We just make puns about eachother, sometimes just about ourselves.

 

I can imagine their reaction when they find out I watch MLP, it'll surely be the main discussion. ;)

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Lets see my funniest joke. This probably isn't it, but it's the only one I can clearly remember.

 

Random Person: so if we go by what "me" said.....

Me: Well that was your first mistake.

 

Gets them every time.

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I'm definitely more of a here-and-now joker, with the context determining my little witty remarks.

 

Most recently, I took into account the fact that one of my friends always says "ORANGE ya gonna..." when he asks something. This is because of one time that he did the "Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'" joke and it completely flopped. Knowing this, me and some friends (including him) were hanging out one day when he came up with a burrito. I asked him "ORANGE ya gonna give me that burrito?"

 

He slapped me with it, then told me that was one of the most beautiful things he's heard in a long time. We both got several minutes of laughter out of it.

 

...It's one of those "you had to have been there" moments. But, that's the general way my humor takes fruition: unplanned and witty.


Indeed.

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Seeing as how Mother's Day is coming up again, I'll post the joke I told last year.

 

How do moms like their eggs? ovary easy

 

ba-dum-tss


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(edited)

Most of my best jokes are really really perverted, I was known as the king dirty jokes in high school but there is one clean yet slightly politically incorrect joke that I told once that I thought was pretty funny. It was a few years ago in this political science class (world politics) I took at my local community college and the subject got Turkey and one of my fellow students asked "why do some of the people in Turkey have light skin and some have dark skin?" And I answered "well you have light meat and you have dark meat why else would they call it turkey?"

Edited by EarthbendingProdigy
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Funniest joke I ever told just kinda happened unexpectedly. I was in econ class back in my junior year of high school, and I was falling asleep at my desk. Next thing I know one guy in my class was turned around in his desk, staring directly at me. "What are you dreaming about, big guy?" he asked, trying to be funny.

 

"Your mother," I responded. :D

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My best and only joke I keep on standby, I didn't even come up with myself. But it is still too good not to share at every opportunity.

 

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?

 

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

 

 

A few people that have heard it could not get over how amazing it is. Unfortunately, most people hate me for it :'D

 

But yeah, most of those instances where I'm randomly funny, I can't remember. At least, not off the top of my head. So unless the context throws one in my lap, I'll just have to sit back on my good ol' standby :D

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Do we have to have made up the joke? Because I don't usually make up jokes, more so smart alec comments. OH there is one I made up  in middle school!

 

Why did the 180 degree angle ask the 40 degree to the dance? He thought she was acute angle... 

 

Yeah, you can hate me for that.

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most of my humor comes from pissing people off, where you have to tread carefully for the next hour or so, Chris Farley- type slapstick humor, which hurts to do, and over reacting to things. I'm kind of a spur-of-the-moment type of guy. 


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(edited)

WELL.... SINCE YOU INSIST...

Sometimes I tell NSFW jokes, quite frequently actually, but otherwise I tell horrendously cruddy, and cheesy jokes, so look away if you're squeamish.

 

 

 

Once upon a time, there were three brothers: 

Manners, Shut up, and Poop. 

Poop fell out of a building. Manners ran after him to make sure he was okay. Because of this, Shut Up had to call the police. When the police arrived, here's what happened.

(Here's what they said:)

POLICE: "What is your name?"

SHUT-UP: "Shut Up"

POLICE: "Where are your manners?"

SHUT-UP: "Manners went to pick up Poop in the road"

*BA DUM TSS*

 

 

 

And another:

 

 

What is the sqaure root of pie?

(YES I SPELT IT CORRECTLY)

 

 

Two slices! 

*BA DUM TSS*

 

 

 

 

 

Another:

 

 

What is the difference between Pea soup and Roast beef?

 

 

Anybody can roast beef, but I don't know anybody who can pee soup!

(yes I got it from Nick)

 

 

 

 

 

Huh, that's funny, I was sure that I knew more jokes than that. Oh well. Enjoy those corny jokes I just wasted five minutes of my life typing...

Edited by ~Chaotic Fireball~

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  • 6 months later...

"haha good morning Scotty! Ah I see you are having a hard time sitting down, What's wrong? have a hot date last night or something?

 

I think it was great....


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"Does not matter what they say, my sweet love! I love you! and always will." 


~Princess Luna

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