The Corrupted Wish Game

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Your wish was for a mild case of heartburn. I tear out your heart and hold it over a small fire for a few minutes. Then I get out a packet of marshmallows. It's a nice nite.

 

 

I wish for a shave.

[Nameless Knight 1,001]

granted! but they shaved your head with a rusty razor 

 

I wish for a kitten

Edited December 23, 2015 by Times & Shadow

[SlenderSlayer24 127]

you get a kit in a box but, it blows up after you touch it.

 

I wish for a christmas miracle!

[Midnight Seeker 302]

I tear out your heart, which SAVES your life. It was growing and growing, so if I hadn't have done that, it would have grown too heavy for your body and you would have died painfully. Because of my selfless actions, you live for exactly three point seven seconds longer. Then you die. An expanding murder heart is still a heart and we need these to live.

 

 

I wish for something good on the telly.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

granted but your brain exploded before you could watch it.

 

I wish to have Midnight Seeker be the next to post

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Granted. Blah blah, heart rippy outty twist with some horror based set up. I also nick your wallet (for old times sake).

 

 

I wish I wasn't sick.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

granted, but you die the next day

 

I wish i was sick

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Granted. You have heart burn. Guess the cure? No, not medication smart guy! I am going to thrust my hand into your chest, grab hold of your heart, and pull it out while roaring like a madman playing bingo and winning for the first time in 37 years! As you can tell, my mother never loved me that much. Either that or I just enjoy rambling over the bodies of people I have just murdered.

 

Huh. I think I may be cracked in the head.

 

Ah well.

 

 

 

I wish to become the next Internet boogyman.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

granted, but your forgotten just as quickly as you were made

 

I wish to not have my heart ripped out or pulled out or anything that includes my heart and the word out

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Fine. Using advanced spooky psychic powers, I erase your heart from existence. Then I will it back into reality, but in my right hand. Thus your heart is dematerialised then rematrealised.

 

Nah, cannae do any of that. I'll just cremate you alive. Slowly. As your flesh sizzles while you are slowly (oh so slowly) roasted, don't you just wish I killed you quick?

 

So this brutal murder is more your fault than mine. This is what happens when you try to cheat me.

 

So just stand straight, place your hands behind your back and take your medicine like a good walking sack of meat and water next time. Okay?

 

 

I wish to see your reaction as you read this post, as well as the slow realisation that I am standing right behind you RIGHT NOW!

[Moonlit_Night 223]

Granted, but you are disappointed because i am laughing myself to death

 

I wish to live

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Granted. I inject you with a immortality drug. Then I rip out your still beating heart, before sealling you in a lead drum, then having it placed in the centre of a giant brick of concrete which weighs several tonnes, then having it dropped in the Mariana Trench. You get to live. Just in constant agony (from the eternally bleeding hole in your chest and the bone breaking pressure of being in the fecking Mariana Trench).

 

Keep trying tae cheat me son. I'm a 32 year old Highland with a blocked nose and fondness for brightly coloured animated equestrian beasties. I am fear itself!

 

 

 

I wish for an ice cream please.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

granted, but it was poisoned

 

I wish to be immortal, and my skin unable to be damaged

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Fine. I rip out your heart, via your mouth (doesn't break the skin does it?). Then drum, concrete, Mariana Trench, eternal torment.

 

You have tae be some kind of masochist. Each their own.

 

 

I wish tae get back into Warhammer 40'000

[Moonlit_Night 223]

granted, but change your mind as soon as you do

 

I wish to have a restraining order put on you

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Granted. I ignore it. Its just a piece of paper man! I mean, come on! And if you wish for police protection or the like, you know I'll kill them first, torment you with their corpses and then kill you?

 

Heart rippy time.

 

 

I wish for a hug.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

granted, and i stab you in the heart afterwords

 

I wish for midnight seeker to be unable to get closer than 100 yards from me

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Fine. I take you out with a headshot, then hire a dude to remove your heart for me. I pay him and walk off whistling tae myself.

 

Noticing a trend yet?

 

I wish Santa was an evil murdering monster with the build of a Jewish Wrestler.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

Granted, but he only goes after you and your friends,

 

I wish to be unable to be hurt in any possible way

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Fine. I kick you in the shin. Then steal your wallet, and chain you down. I then chew my food slowly, with my mouth open and keep eye contact with you the whole time. I also sing off key a lot. And murder your friends and family in front of you.

 

I wish to be respected.

[Moonlit_Night 223]

Granted, but only by ants

 

 

Fine. I kick you in the shin. Then steal your wallet, and chain you down. I then chew my food slowly, with my mouth open and keep eye contact with you the whole time. I also sing off key a lot. And murder your friends and family in front of you.

I wish to be respected.

singing off key... only thing in that that would bother me....

 

I wish that everyone could sing on the perfect pitch

[Seamore Sandwich 471]

Granted, now music isn't worth listening to anymore because everyone can only sing Blue Christmas sounding like Elvis Presley.

 

I wish for an inter-universal transport vehicle that can bring me to Equestria.

[Midnight Seeker 302]

Granted. But the moment you enter Equestria, I appear in front of you and rip out your still beating heart before you even leave your vehicle and see the magical and wondrous land of brightly coloured horses. Then I steal your machine for a wonderful inter- dementional murder spree.

 

I wish I had a Star Destroyer with a fully trained crew who are loyal to me.

[Seamore Sandwich 471]

Granted. You are given the title to a Star Destroyer in a galaxy far far away. You are not given any means to contact them, and a Jedi has snuck aboard. I think we all know what happens after that...

 

I wish for a funny response to this wish.

[Trottermare Galamane 12,005]

Granted, You imagine Rainbow Dash kicking Pinkie Pie in the shin and shouting "Your it" before flying off as fast as he can but as she's flying away suddenly Pinkie Pie comes shooting out of the clouds and collides with him at extreme speeds. when Rainbow Dash wakes up he asks Pinkie how she caught him and she replies "oh that was easy I just fired myself out of my super duper electric party rail cannon silly" 

 

"by DynamicLines"

 

 

I wish I could draw and do Digital art very well?