The Corrupted Wish Game

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but your dog eats that too.

I wish for a cute kitty.

[The_Gobo 36,257]

Granted.
But once a month it turns into a monster and tries to kill you

 I wish I could rest

 

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, you now know how to stop playing your instrument for a time period specified by the musical score you're playing.

I wish for a Klein bottle.

[Will Guide 21,362]

@Duality

Granted, but you'll never be able to open it!

I wish I had a certain man from the Equestria Girls world for a boyfriend!

[Hierok 11,832]

Granted, Snips is now your boyfriend.

I wish there are more people online. 

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but they're all adbots.

I wish for a shiny thing.

[Hierok 11,832]

Granded, but tamatoa never let you leave his cave.

I wish I had more creativity with my music 

Edited July 14, 2017 by Hierok

[Twilight-Sparkle17 230]

Granted, but your music becomes confusing to even you.

I wish for an international library filled with only the best stories from around the world.

Edited July 14, 2017 by Twilight-Sparkle17

[Hierok 11,832]

Granted, but you can't come inside.

I wish we had magic!

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted. But its so powerful it instantly kills the user.

 

I wish for some ice cream.

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but it's reindeer antler flavour. I did not make that flavour up, in case anyone thought that Canada wasn't as weird as America thinks it is.

I wish for some Maccas.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted, but they mess up your order. Badly.

 

I wish I could fly.

[Duality 10,740]

Granted. Go jump off a building and see if it works.

I wish for a huge marble statue of myself with disproportionally huge muscles, for use as a paperweight.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted, but it falls on you.

 

I wish for nothing bad to ever happen again. 

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but that non-event is actually in and of itself the worst thing that could possibly happen to us, due to complicated philosophical reasons that I won't go into here, thus rending reality asunder and ending the universe.

I wish for a tiny adorable paperclip.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted, but I had to borrow it to unclog a vacuum cleaner, and it's no longer adorable. Or a paperclip for that matter.

 

I wish my phone would stop acting weird.

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, now you start acting weird.

I wish for some marshmallows.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

They explode.

 

I wish for fish.

 

@Dualityyou mean to tell me I'm acting like... A normal person!?

[Duality 10,740]

Granted, but they're one fish two fish red fish blue fish.

21 minutes ago, -D1SCORDANT- said:

you mean to tell me I'm acting like... A normal person!?

Yes.

*you reel back in horror, as if struck*

"Is... is it terminal?"

Yes.

*you reel back again in even more horror*

"Is... is there a cure?"

Yes.

*you reel back even further in horror*

"Is... is the cure terminal?"

Yes.

*you reel back in horror so far that you fall out the window*

"AAAAAAARGHsplat"

Yes.

 

 

I wish for an actual Applebloom ponemoji that I can use to fully express my facetiousness.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted, but you get banned from the forums before can us it.

 

I wish for an omelet.

[Hierok 11,832]

Granted, but it gets swallowed by your dog.

I wish your dog wouldn't eat so much. 

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted, he becomes your dog. Therefor my dog no longer exists. 

 

I wish @Hierok would get $10,000 or the equivalent in his/her domestic currency.

[Hierok 11,832]

Granted, but he gets the €10000 twice for being awesome. 

I wish my new dog wouldn't argue with the cat.

Edited July 15, 2017 by Hierok

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

Granted. He eats the cat. No more arguing.

 

I wish I could actually do something productive today.

[Hierok 11,832]

Granded, but the rest of your life is a failure.

I wish people didn't ban me here. Is it my face or what?! 

Edited July 15, 2017 by Hierok