You are a Blank Flank - A Text Adventure

[Linguz 140]

Get angry. Then get mad.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Get angry. Then get mad.

 

Oh that German son of a...

 

You are going to tear him apart. Limb from limb. He has no idea of the world of pain he's going to end up in, in just a few moments...

 

As you're getting angrier by the moment, the doctor raises his hoof, the one with the black rings. The black rings - what you know to be the earthquake machine controller - begin to glow red.

 

You now officially feel bloodlust. Wow! Feels good! You leap through the air and knock Doctor von Ponington off his feet. The earthquake rings stop glowing.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine - Bloodlust

Talent: Protagonist

Inventory (0/4):

Edited November 8, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

LEVEL UP!

Then beat him.

[Spider's Claw 213]

LEVEL UP!

Then beat him.

 

You tear the black ring off his front left leg and smash it against the ground, effectively destroying the only means of activating the earthquake machine. Destroying such a high-level piece of machinery sends Igor into a panic and your EXP bar skyrocketing.

 

LEVEL UP!

 

Doctor von Ponington is unfazed. This somehow makes you even more furious and you begin beating him savagely with his own broken earthquake rings. Turns out they make for a pretty good beating stick. During this, Igor runs away. After a few more seconds of flogging the doctor with his own jewelry, he decides enough is enough and tosses you off him. He quickly comes to his feet and uses his magic science to sever the chains keeping the chandelier attached to the entrance hall's ceiling. This chandelier is conveniently directly above where you are currently laying.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine - Bloodlust

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

[Linguz 140]

With the power of your new level, you barrel roll (or just roll) to get out of the way. The chandelier falls to the ground and mashes through the floor, apparently it's not as concrete as you thought. Attack him.

[Kinvara 117]

>Poke him in the eye

[Spider's Claw 213]

With the power of your new level, you barrel roll (or just roll) to get out of the way. The chandelier falls to the ground and mashes through the floor, apparently it's not as concrete as you thought. Attack him.

 

You quickly roll out of the way of the chandelier, which crashes into the floor next to you. The entrance hall is not directly above a basement, and the lab's secret staircase is far from the chandelier, so no new passageways are opened as a result of the chandelier breaking through the floor. Doctor von Ponington is laughing madly, thinking the chandelier crushed you. You take advantage of this and run up to him.

 

>Poke him in the eye

 

And poke him in the eye. But since you don't have fingers, just a hoof, you shove your hoof into his eye. Well, there goes his eye. Effectively destroyed. Shame, they were such strangely beautiful eyes. After calming down, von Ponington tells you that you should probably be runningk now. Seriously, run. You are NOT getting avay viz zis. Run ze hell avay.

 

Zat vill make ze chase ZAT much more interestingk. His horn starts glowing.

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine - Bloodlust

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

[Linguz 140]

Since you're so close, poke him in the other eye, effectively blinding him.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Since you're so close, poke him in the other eye, effectively blinding him.

 

You shove your hoof into his other eye, blinding him. He asks VHY ZE HELL YOU VOULD EVEN DO ZAT! He then chuckles and says no matter. He can still HEAR you. You're not gettingk avay from him. You take a step back. He punches in that direction, narrowly missing you. His horn starts glowing again. Stone spikes erupt out of the floor dangerously close to you.

 

Your bloodlust wears off. Your strength and agility bonuses are gone.

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

Edited November 9, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Tackle the doctor and shove your hooves into his ears.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Tackle the doctor and shove your hooves into his ears.

 

You jump at him in an effort to tackle him. He hears you make the jump, and his horn glows again. A sharp wall of rock erupts from the ground between the two of you. It doesn't kill you, but it does injure you. The wall and the spikes shoot back into the ground.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Caution

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

Edited November 9, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Try to be as silent as possible.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Try to be as silent as possible.

 

He hears your attempt to be silent. A stone spike comes up from the ground next to you and grazes you.

 

Using RPG logic, this deals absurd amounts of damage.

 

"I bet you vant to run avay now, mein little pony!"

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Danger

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

[Linguz 140]

Do whatever Spider's Claw wants Natural to do to win or survive.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Do whatever Spider's Claw wants Natural to do to win or survive.

 

Oh God, Linguz, why are you bringing me into this?

 

Doctor von Ponington is distracted by the writer's voice long enough for you to decide what you want to do here. This is entirely your call.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Danger

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

[Linguz 140]

Damn. Run to the doctor and heal. Not the evil doctor. A normal doctor.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Damn. Run to the doctor and heal. Not the evil doctor. A normal doctor.

 

Well, your... "partner," Morning Glory, is/was a doctor! You could go to her! You quickly run from the entrance hall. Doctor von Ponington hears you and starts running after you.

 

"YOU CANNOT GET AVAY FROM ME!"

 

You notice it's nighttime now. You start running down the hill. The blind, bleeding, and possibly mortally wounded sciencepony won't be able to pursue for very long. He knows this too, and starts yelling for his guards to SHOOT ZE INTRUDER, SHOOT ZE INTRUDER. He tells them not to kill, just to incapacitate.

 

"Zey're gettingk avay! Shoot zem now! In ze leg! Do not kill!"

 

You look behind you, up at the guard tower. The stallion in the tower is taking his aim with that strange rifle thing. There's a laser attached to it. You trace the line of the laser and see that it's pointing at the doctor. Looks like the guard can't see who's who in the light.

 

Bang.

 

The doctor gasps in pain as he's shot in the leg. He loses his balance and trips, and starts rolling down the hill. He quickly gains speed, going much, much faster than you. He hits several of the sharp rocks on the hill as he goes down. You look ahead of you again. You can see Morning Glory, Midnight Minuet, and Winter Waltz a cyan pony you don't know trying to talk the mob out of attacking the castle.

 

Doctor von Ponington reaches the bottom of the hill and starts slowing down, and comes to a stop. You run back into town and inform Morning Glory that:

1) You need help

2) Von Ponington is injured, unconscious, and probably dead outside of town

3) You're horribly wounded

4) Seriously Morning help

 

The smug stallion overhears point #2 and steps outside of the town. He comments that not only did you defeat the beast, you also killed the sciencepony. Excellent work. But now it's time for you to lend your talents to his movement to destroy the royal family.

 

Moonlight tells him to go screw himself. The mob echoes this. The stallion is crestfallen.

 

"Jack Daniels doesn't take no for an answer, ponies. You'll see. One day, ONE DAY, you'll regret this, and then you'll need me!"

 

He walks off.

 

Morning Glory has rejoined the party!

Moonlight Minuet has joined the party!

Winter Waltz has joined the party!

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Danger

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (1/3): Plastic fangs

 

Moonlight Minuet


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/3): Scalpel

 

Winter Waltz


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/4): Communicator

Edited November 9, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

DO ONE NOW!

[Kinvara 117]

>Be healed by Morning Glory

>Do victory dance

[Spider's Claw 213]

DO ONE NOW!

 

One's not quite enough. You go with four. SERIOUSLY MORNING HELP.

 

>Be healed by Morning Glory

>Do victory dance

 

Morning Glory goes back to her old mansion house thing, gets her medical supplies, and fixes you with bandages. Because bandages cure everything.

 

Your party begins a victory dance. You're interrupted as one of the ponies shouts that the doctor is still alive. Quick, take him to the gallows!

 

Another pony asks what gallows. St. Arion has no gallows. The first pony proposes it's high time they BUILD gallows. Some ponies set to work on constructing the gallows. You can hear Doctor von Ponington asking vhat's goingk on. Is zis a party? A rock show? Is he being carried throughout ze audience or somezingk?

 

The crowd's chant is getting louder.

 

GIVE US THE DOCTOR

GIVE US THE ROPE

GIVE US HIS HOOVES

GIVE US THE DOCTOR

GIVE US THE ROPE!

 

This chant continues until the mob disbands. The four of you walk outside. The blinded sciencepony is hanging from gallows that were constructed in a matter of minutes. Winter asks how long he's going to be up there. One of the mob ponies tells you they're going to keep him up as a warning directed at no one in particular.

 

A pony comes out of the town, saying he has a package for Moonlight Minuet. He hands her a strange crate, which she puts in her inventory.

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3

 

Moonlight Minuet


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (2/3): Scalpel | MANE CO. Crate

 

Winter Waltz


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/4): Communicator

Edited November 9, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Open the MANE Co. Crate.

Get what's inside.

Get shocked.

[Spider's Claw 213]

Open the MANE Co. Crate.

Get what's inside.

Get shocked.

 

Moonlight tries to open the MANE CO. crate. It's locked! There's a note on the crate that says the key is taped to the underside. Moonlight takes the key and opens the crate.

 

Moonlight has Found:

• A document that legally certifies the owner is an official Spy

• Revolver

• Electrosapper

• A knife

• A disguise kit

• An invisibility watch

• Three extra inventory slots

• Talent upgrade: Princess -> Spy

 

Moonlight freaks the hell out. She loves Pony Fortress 2. Now all her dreams are coming true! Her inventory automatically updates. The document does not count toward her inventory, and the scalpel ceases to exist.

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3

 

Moonlight Minuet


Condition: Fine


Talent: Spy


Inventory (5/6): Revolver | Electrosapper | Knife | Disguise Kit | Invisibility Watch

 

Winter Waltz


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/4): Communicator

[Kinvara 117]

>Inspect the body to make sure he's dead.

[Spider's Claw 213]

>Inspect the body to make sure he's dead.

 

You tell Morning Glory to go see if he's dead. She asks why. You say it's because she's the only doctor here. She sighs and walks over to the gallows. She checks his pulse.

 

"Yup. He's dead."

 

You say great, now you can get out of here and get back to Ponyville.

 

Morning Glory says she used to live there a long time ago. She'll go with you. St. Arion kind of sucks. Moonlight takes offense.

 

Winter Waltz asks what Ponyville is.

 

"Maaan, sis, I can't believe you don't know about Ponyville!"

 

You look around for the origin of the voice. The others know quite well who it is and where it's coming from. An orange pegasus with the royal family's defining blue eyes (partially covered by some really badass shades) swoops in, carrying Tuxedo Tango with ease. The pegasus introduces herself as Sunny Shuffle. Princess Sunny Shuffle. She prefers Shuffle.

 

You ask how she can possibly be a pegasus if she's the daughter of two earth po--

 

Moonlight shoves her hoof in your mouth. We don't talk about Shuffle's conception.

 

 

Shuffle and Tango have joined the party!

 

Shuffle asks if you really want to leave. She thinks you should stay in the town seeing as you just killed the sciencepony. You're like a celebrity.

 

Party:

 

 

Natural Harmonia

Condition: Fine

Talent: Lvl 2 Protagonist

Inventory (1/4): Broken Earthquake Rings

 

Morning Glory

Condition: Fine

Talent: Magic

Inventory (2/3): Plastic fangs | Bandages x3

 

Moonlight Minuet


Condition: Fine


Talent: Spy


Inventory (5/6): Revolver | Electrosapper | Knife | Disguise Kit | Invisibility Watch

 

Winter Waltz


Condition: Fine


Talent: Princess


Inventory (1/4): Communicator

 

Sunny Shuffle

Condition: Fine


Talent: Lvl 2 Aviatrix


Inventory (2/5): Communicator | MANE CO. Key

 

Tuxedo Tango

Condition: Fine

Talent: Prince

Inventory (1/3): Scalpel

Edited November 9, 2011 by Spider's Claw

[Linguz 140]

Ship anypony with Shuffle.

Leave town.