Witty comebacks

[The Soldier 2,043]

Dammit, Fox! You inspired me to make this thread.

 

Anyways, just think of an insult that a troll would say to you like:

-"Lol. No one likes you"

 

And your comeback will be like:

-"No one may like me, but everyone hates you"

 

Or maybe

 

-"Lol. You're slow" (This insult can be physically or mentally)

-"Well, you know what they say: Slow and steady wins the race"

[Nohbdy 4,108]

Every insult ever: "NO U"

Edited April 27, 2013 by Тwilight Sparkle

[Circadian 1,273]

"I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's really hard to pronounce."

 

"... and the one-inch wonder strikes again." ^{This is funny regardless of gender!}

 

"Now I know why Tigers eat their young..."

[Harmonic Revelations 8,833]

This one will usually shut up Justin Bieber fans.

 

"I am a lot of things, but at least I don't idolize a failed abortion."

 

And when someone makes fun of you for liking ponies, but it only works if you yourself are male and so is the intended target of this

 

"I like ponies because, unlike you, I don't need to constantly be reminded of my masculinity so I don't forget I'm a man."

Edited April 28, 2013 by Harmonic Revelations

[Bigmethod 239]

Agreed with harmonic revelations, I have a similar response to them pony haters.

 

" lol u like ponies f**"

( usually directed to the haters who haven't watched it)

" lol, are u really that insecure about your gender and sexuality that you are frightened if watching a TV show?"

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

I try to say something witty but it can't be forced. It only comes naturally.

[The Soldier 2,043]

"Go to hell/ clop in hell/ (etc) hell"

 

"I think I'm already in hell, knowing I have to deal with you"

[Akemi Homura 7,680]

Just call the other person a bundle of sticks. That always works.

[AppleShy Sparkle 311]

Alright, a class favorite here.

 

*every insult ever made*

 

JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER. (OOOOOOOOH!)

 

Best part is, i'm not even kidding.

Edited April 30, 2013 by AppleShy Sparkle

[Betez 1,734]

Usually I only get good comebacks in an hour of need.

 

At lunch, me and some friends were talking about whether something was red or pink (I guess we're starting to run out of things to talk about.)

 

Anyway, I said it was red, and this guy agreed with me. Then this other guy, who's Muslim, said that agreeing with me is a sin.

So I said "You want to tell me what's a sin and what's not, eh?"

 

It was mean looking back on it, but it was pretty funny at the time.

[Retro*Derpy 3,081]

i know u r, butt wat am i?

[The Soldier 2,043]

This one will usually shut up Justin Bieber fans.

 

"I am a lot of things, but at least I don't idolize a failed abortion."

Speaking of Justin Beaver, if some JB fan go like: "I hope that person who threw the water bottle gets kicked out of ALL the Justin Beiber concerts! >:C"

 

 

I'd be like: "Yeah, I hope so too. So this person wouldn't have to hear his music anymore"

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

"Winston, if you were my husband I would poison your tea."

"And madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it."

[An Old Head 4,815]

This happened in a class at school - I wasn't in the same class, I heard it from other people. Some bloke's phone went off during the lesson, and one of those mouthy kids that reckons they're a comedian decided to say,

 

"Who's that? Is that your girlfriend?"

The guy quickly responded with "No, it's yours."

 

Everyone was laughing and high-fiving him, it must have been so damn funny. Wish I was there.