Ever have a roommate? Tell me all about it!

[D1SC0RD 987]

So I am graduating high school next year! Woo! I am mostly excited, but I'm a little worried.

 

The university I would like to attend is in Quebec and I have no relatives there. I'd have to live in some apartment or on residence... and most likely, get a roommate

Unless anyone knows if McGill offers single dorms... that'd be pretty cool.

 

I know it's pretty early to worry about a roommate right now... but it's on my mind! Besides, I hear it's a good thing to plan ahead. And while I am mentally listing the pros and cons about living with a stranger, I'd figure I'd ask people who've had roommates about their experiences.

 

So if you've had one (or if you have anything to say about the topic), then lets get this discussion rolling!

 

[Luna's Husbando 61]

While we're at the subject of roommates, there are some specific questions that I'd really like to get some feedback on since I'm going to live in a dorm next year as well.

 

How often will roommates invite friends and/or girlfriends over? Do they often try to introduce you to them or will they let you keep to yourself while in their presence?

Do they expect you to open up to them or will they let you keep to yourself?

Can they be annoying or rude or will they generally be decent to you?

Do they respect your privacy?

 

I ask these questions as a socially awkward introvert who is uncomfortable with sharing the same room as other people. Again, feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Edited May 30, 2013 by Luna's Husbando

[Throwaway19573639385 764]

While we're at the subject of roommates, there are some specific questions that I'd really like to get some feedback on since I'm going to live in a dorm next year as well.

 

How often will roommates invite friends and/or girlfriends over? Do they often try to introduce you to them or will they let you keep to yourself while in their presence?

Do they expect you to open up to them or will they let you keep to yourself?

Can they be annoying or rude or will they generally be decent to you?

Do they respect your privacy?

 

I ask these questions as a socially awkward introvert who is uncomfortable with sharing the same room as other people. Again, feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

- Well, it depends on the kind of person really. Just expect them to bring someone over from time to time, no big deal. You'll have to introduce yourself and sometimes you're expected to hang out with 'em. No big deal, it's more etiquette than anything. If they're already doing something you can just do your own thing. It's not like you'll HAVE to be there the whole time. Oh, when your roommate brings a girlfriend over, be polite and introduce yourself if you have to, unless your roommate wants you to be silent. After introductions, you should just leave them alone. Unless when there's dinner or they ask if you want to hang, if that's the case, just go and socialize. Follow the bro-code. 

 

- Roommates will either become your nightmare, a friend or a very good friend. You don't have to tell them everything but knowing eachother is nice. Don't be completely silent, just show interest in their hobbies and interests. Appreciate for who the other is, it'll create a more relaxed and chill atmosphere than living in complete awkward silence. 

 

- They can be, but again this depends on the person. They'll probably act decent and normal. Unless when your roommate opened up to you, then they'll be super awesome.

 

- Everyone respects eachothers' privacy, but you should expect they'll be snooping around sometimes, it's in human nature and all in good fun, nothing really serious. Don't mind it really, unless your roommate is a jerk. Just make sure that the stuff you want to keep hidden is in a place they'll never, ever find out.

 

But don't judge your roommate immediately, chances are you are the first roommate he/she will ever have too and suddenly crashing with someone you don't know can cause some tenseness. And it can happen you'll start off wrong, but that doesn't mean he or she is always like that. Everyone's nervous when they meet others, just relax. Not like anything bad will happen.

 

--

 

So yea, roommates are awesome. You don't have to worry about anything. Just make clear rules and set-up some do's and don'ts. Again follow the bro-code and everything'll be just fine.

[Nah 3,182]

Would having to share a room count?

 

Anyway when I was younger, I had to share a room with my younger, much more immature brother. It was a pain at times, he wouldn't fall asleep at night and kept me up all night with his blubbering and crying nonsense. It was a bit painful.

 

All I have to say is, thank god my college won't have dorms.

[Midnight fell 62]

I have had a roommate I still hate him never bunk with someone that may not be your cup of tea or they end up in the hospital because they messed with you

[Betez 1,734]

Have I ever had a college roommate? No.

 

However, this past summer I went with my friend to this summer camp where you can basically do anything you want. We stayed in a 2-bunk bed cabin together for a week. To me, it felt like having a roommate. Mostly we'd just stay up until 1 am talking, or sneaking out onto the tennis/basketball court to talk and feel cool. I feel like this partially counts as having a roommate. I'll be doing it again this summer; in a few weeks, actually.

[Luna's Husbando 61]

- Well, it depends on the kind of person really. Just expect them to bring someone over from time to time, no big deal. You'll have to introduce yourself and sometimes you're expected to hang out with 'em. No big deal, it's more etiquette than anything. If they're already doing something you can just do your own thing. It's not like you'll HAVE to be there the whole time. Oh, when your roommate brings a girlfriend over, be polite and introduce yourself if you have to, unless your roommate wants you to be silent. After introductions, you should just leave them alone. Unless when there's dinner or they ask if you want to hang, if that's the case, just go and socialize. Follow the bro-code. 

 

- Roommates will either become your nightmare, a friend or a very good friend. You don't have to tell them everything but knowing eachother is nice. Don't be completely silent, just show interest in their hobbies and interests. Appreciate for who the other is, it'll create a more relaxed and chill atmosphere than living in complete awkward silence. 

 

 

Those first two points sound like an absolute nightmare. I'd hate to have to hang out with people I'll likely want nothing to do with and I'd hate to have to pretend to be interested in whatever my roommate likes. Is there any way out of those things?

[D1SC0RD 987]

Have I ever had a college roommate? No.

 

However, this past summer I went with my friend to this summer camp where you can basically do anything you want. We stayed in a 2-bunk bed cabin together for a week. To me, it felt like having a roommate. Mostly we'd just stay up until 1 am talking, or sneaking out onto the tennis/basketball court to talk and feel cool. I feel like this partially counts as having a roommate. I'll be doing it again this summer; in a few weeks, actually.

 

Sure this counts! I'll be going to a math camp this summer at a university and we're staying in the dorms. I never considered it, but it's entirely possible that we will be sharing some dorms. With any luck, my experience will be as good as yours!

 

Those first two points sound like an absolute nightmare. I'd hate to have to hang out with people I'll likely want nothing to do with and I'd hate to have to pretend to be interested in whatever my roommate likes. Is there any way out of those things?

 

Yeah this is why I am super nervous. When I am forced to "enjoy someone's company", I am so miserable. You can't just decide to like people... I wouldn't want to be rude to anyone, but I would ignore a roomie if they were a nuisance to me. There aren't many people whose presence I enjoy either... It'd be pretty awesome if I got someone who I genuinely like having around, but TBH that's probably unlikely. The (likely) possibility of my roommate and I not liking each other is the biggest reason for me not to get a roommate.

[Starlight Sky 374]

I've had 5 very different roommate since coming to college and I've never had an issue doing what I'd normally do on my own. I always set my own pace while remaining friendly (despite the initial silence that lingered from my being an introvert).

 

With the more eccentric and/or outgoing roommates, I gave a typical greeting before zoning back into my computer. We'd get to talking when something came up or they initiated a conversation, but I wouldn't feel obliged to go along with their ideas. It's best to become friends (or at least friendly), since you're living together; but don't let them dictate how you act. Had my roommate been spiteful/condescending, I'd have kept my headphones on and just continued my routine (only facing my side of the room).

 

Again, you don't need to feel obliged to go along with whatever they suggest. I'd never have gotten work done during certain semesters.

 

Be yourself and open up at your own pace if/whenever you feel like it.

 

Just give your usual greeting, set some ground rules, and live life.  

 

Would've left a large wall of text, but need to get back to work  Plus, you probably get the idea.

Edited May 30, 2013 by Starlight Sky

[fimdash 1,196]

I've had roommates before. I just finished my freshman year of college, and I've done programs before over the summer where you live with other people. Overall my experiences with them were good. There were a few minor things that caused some problems, but nothing too serious.

 

First off, try to be friends with your roommate. It can be kind of awkward if you two don't talk. It's not really hard for two roommates to get along. You can start off with icebreakers such as mutual interests, learning about each other's background, etc. Just be chill and things should turn out fine.

 

Make sure you let your roommate know if he/she is doing something that irritates you. Tell them when certain behavior has to stop, but don't be hostile about it. The problem will never get fixed if you don't say anything. You can blame your roommate for their actions, but at the same time you have to also blame yourself for not trying to fix the problem.

 

I think roommate courtesy is pretty important. If your roommate is sleeping, don't make a lot of noise. If he/she is doing homework, don't blast your music. Just stuff like that. Hopefully the roommate you get will return the favor.

 

I hope that your roommate turns out to be a cool person who you will get along with! Maybe you can post here again when you meet him/her and let us know how he/she is!

 

 

[D1SC0RD 987]

I hope that your roommate turns out to be a cool person who you will get along with! Maybe you can post here again when you meet him/her and let us know how he/she is! 

 

Hah! I probably won't revisit this thread when the time comes (uni is at least 1.25 years away still), but it'd be a safe bet that there'd be a few status updates in the future about a roommate! If I get one, that is 

[Wolffie 212]

Well, I do live with my parents (at least until I can legally leave the hellden), and they are immature enough to be considered roommates in their mid-20s. It sucks. With roommates, you have to wear clothes, keep your music and TV at a reasonable level, and deal with their fighting.i

[Batbrony 16,055]

In my 4 years at Hillsdale College, I had...  uh, let's see... 5 roommates.  None ever left because of my behavior, nor did I ever leave because of any of their behavior; any roommate changes I went through were all largely circumstantial, i.e., roommates moving to new parts of the campus or I myself moving elsewhere.  My favorite roommates were probably my first roommate, who roomed with me for 4 semesters, and my third roommate, who roomed with me when I interned for a semester in Washington, D.C.  Both were neat and organized all-around, didn't take up too much room, and were pleasant to chat with and likable; basically everything you could ask for in someone you have to live and room with.  We may not have always agreed on everything, but we understood and tolerated each others quirks and personal tastes and even had a lot of fun together. 

 

That being said, I also had BAD roommate experiences; my second, fourth, and fifth roommates were all lacking in certain regards.  While my fourth roommate was enjoyable to chat with and quite likable as a person, he was extremely messy.  Seriously, any part of the room occupied by his stuff looked like a war zone, and I seriously never understood it because he's a Marine for crying out loud; always figured someone who'd gone through boot camp would have a sense of cleanliness and taste for organization, but certainly not that guy.   However, compared to my second and fifth roommates, #4 was a delight!  My second and fifth roommates were both extremely quiet, and when you're in a room with someone on a daily basis, that can get very uncomfortable.  To #5's credit, he was out of the room enough that I at least had a fair amount of time to myself and some privacy, so he was not that annoying.  #2, however, almost drove me insane.  The guy was one of the most anti-social people I've ever met!  He was a local, so he went home on the weekends (which is probably the only reason that I didn't go insane ); other than that, however, he was always, and I mean ALWAYS in the room!  It was bucking ridiculous!!!  We didn't say a word to each other (despite my attempts at communication), I had no privacy EVER, and it was just the most uncomfortable thing ever!!! 

 

I guess my overall point is that, when looking for a roommate, look first and foremost for someone you can get along with and who's company you can enjoy.  They don't have to be your closest friend; in fact, I'd advise against that actually, because it's actually different to live with someone and be friends with someone.  A roommate, you want to keep close, but not too close.  If being neat is your thing, then that's a plus to look for in a roommate as well, but if you don't mind messiness then I guess it wouldn't matter.  The one thing to avoid the most is an anti-social roommate, because keep in mind you'll probably be sharing just one room with this guy for months on end, and in my experience, doing that with really quiet people can get very uncomfortable and irritating.  Hope this helps, and good luck on finding your roommate!!! 

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

I had a roommate my freshman year of college. We had a lot in common and actually became really good friends. We're dorming together again next year (I'm in a single, but he's in my section). Most unis will survey you about your habits and likes to better pair you up with the right person.

[Ghost 173]

  I was a bit nervous about getting roommates at first, but I couldn't be picky and basically chose the first people who seemed decent enough.  My previous housing arrangements fell through last minute and I didn't wanna keep paying for a hotel.  I have 3 roommates and got incredibly lucky, they're my second family now. 

 

  If you have the luxury of choosing a roommate, make sure you go over all the ground rules.  Don't make too many where you seem crazy, but stick to the ones you make.  For example, my roommates have rules like keep the place clean, respect each others privacy, and don't smoke in the apartment.  Some other rules revolve around respect, like ask if you can use someone's stuff.  Also, when we moved in we had a group discussion about the basic rules so we were all on the same page.

 

While we're at the subject of roommates, there are some specific questions that I'd really like to get some feedback on since I'm going to live in a dorm next year as well.

 

How often will roommates invite friends and/or girlfriends over? Do they often try to introduce you to them or will they let you keep to yourself while in their presence?

Do they expect you to open up to them or will they let you keep to yourself?

Can they be annoying or rude or will they generally be decent to you?

Do they respect your privacy?

 

I ask these questions as a socially awkward introvert who is uncomfortable with sharing the same room as other people. Again, feedback would be greatly appreciated.

 

  To answer some questions, I don't mind when my roommates bring friends over.  It's doesn't hurt to meet new people, and if a roommate brings a girlfriend over I don't mind hanging out with them, but I make sure to give them they're space too.  So far no issues have come up.

 

  No one can force you to open up, but don't be distant either.  Open up as much as you feel comfortable with, this could make your roommates feel more comfortable around you and they may open up too if they haven't already. 

 

  It can take a bit for someones true nature to come out, so its hard to say right away if they will be the coolest person you've ever met, or a complete jerk.  I had a roommate at a band camp once who seemed cool initially, but turned out to be uncomfortable to be around.  I think people are generally decent though, some may just take more getting used to.

 

  The respecting privacy thing is something you can lay out initially when you move in.  Like personality though, it varies and it'll take a bit to see what you're roommate is like.  If you feel like you're privacy is being violated in some way, don't be afraid to voice your concerns.  It's your home too, and everyone should feel comfortable.  Don't be too confrontational though, and don't take it personally if you get confronted either. 

 

  I can be fairly shy, and I share a room with one of my roommates.  It hasn't been an issue and I've gotten less shy over time, so don't worry about it.  I'm sure you'll be fine.  Also, as a side note, it may be a good idea to get some sort of screen. This way you have a sense of privacy if you share a room.

 

  Hopefully some of that helped you out.  Good luck  .

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I hate the roommate I had in my freshman year of college. I just hope my new one will be better. My roommate would always bring his obnoxious girlfriend over to clean up after him, he'd get drunk all of the time, he watched baseball and football all of the time on MY television (I hate both of those stupid games plus I hate watching sports on TV, it's boring and the announcers' voices are obnoxious), he farted constantly, and generally acted like an arrogant, spoiled douchebag, much like many of the business majors at my fancy private Catholic university. Luckily he was out of the room a lot, but when he was there, he was annoying. He also looked down on all of my nerdy interests and in his own words he "hates nerds and dweebs" probably because he was insecure about how stupid he was. Just talking about him makes my blood boil. I'm just glad to be rid of him. My roommate experience was like this video, in which I am the scout and he is the spy.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1Bm1yIrm2E&list=WL5E0DED924E627BAD

 

 

 

Keep in mind, that the people who choose your roommate at my school suck at pairing up people, and I had no say in who I roomed with. I would advise you to try to get your roommate, unless he's a douche like mine, and just know that many people I know are best friends with their roommates. I just got a bad apple. Still, don't go in expecting to be best buddies. Anyway, good luck!

Edited May 30, 2013 by Mellon Collie

[Luna's Husbando 61]

In my 4 years at Hillsdale College, I had...  uh, let's see... 5 roommates.  None ever left because of my behavior, nor did I ever leave because of any of their behavior; any roommate changes I went through were all largely circumstantial, i.e., roommates moving to new parts of the campus or I myself moving elsewhere.  My favorite roommates were probably my first roommate, who roomed with me for 4 semesters, and my third roommate, who roomed with me when I interned for a semester in Washington, D.C.  Both were neat and organized all-around, didn't take up too much room, and were pleasant to chat with and likable; basically everything you could ask for in someone you have to live and room with.  We may not have always agreed on everything, but we understood and tolerated each others quirks and personal tastes and even had a lot of fun together. 

 

That being said, I also had BAD roommate experiences; my second, fourth, and fifth roommates were all lacking in certain regards.  While my fourth roommate was enjoyable to chat with and quite likable as a person, he was extremely messy.  Seriously, any part of the room occupied by his stuff looked like a war zone, and I seriously never understood it because he's a Marine for crying out loud; always figured someone who'd gone through boot camp would have a sense of cleanliness and taste for organization, but certainly not that guy.   However, compared to my second and fifth roommates, #4 was a delight!  My second and fifth roommates were both extremely quiet, and when you're in a room with someone on a daily basis, that can get very uncomfortable.  To #5's credit, he was out of the room enough that I at least had a fair amount of time to myself and some privacy, so he was not that annoying.  #2, however, almost drove me insane.  The guy was one of the most anti-social people I've ever met!  He was a local, so he went home on the weekends (which is probably the only reason that I didn't go insane ); other than that, however, he was always, and I mean ALWAYS in the room!  It was bucking ridiculous!!!  We didn't say a word to each other (despite my attempts at communication), I had no privacy EVER, and it was just the most uncomfortable thing ever!!! 

 

I guess my overall point is that, when looking for a roommate, look first and foremost for someone you can get along with and who's company you can enjoy.  They don't have to be your closest friend; in fact, I'd advise against that actually, because it's actually different to live with someone and be friends with someone.  A roommate, you want to keep close, but not too close.  If being neat is your thing, then that's a plus to look for in a roommate as well, but if you don't mind messiness then I guess it wouldn't matter.  The one thing to avoid the most is an anti-social roommate, because keep in mind you'll probably be sharing just one room with this guy for months on end, and in my experience, doing that with really quiet people can get very uncomfortable and irritating.  Hope this helps, and good luck on finding your roommate!!! 

 

Honestly, if I had the choice I'd go with your second or fifth roomates. Not having to be social and meet new people sounds like it would be a dream come true, but that's just me.

 

In any case, I get the idea that I'd be really uncomfortable with an extroverted roommate or someone who constantly wanted to talk to me.

[mycarhasaMoustache 449]

Well I lived in  a small caravan for 6 months with a friend of mine It wasn't too bad but kinda sucked for privacy as there was only 1 room. It didnt bother me but he didnt like getting changed if I was sitting there but meh It could have been worse. 

[Jokuc 8,173]

I have no experiences with this but I believe it totally depends on what kind of person it'll be. If it is an awesome person then you'll love it, if it is a meh or worse person then you're going to get bored or annoyed I believe.

 

But well it sounds kinda fun to me at least

 

But don't worry :3

inb4 you read this

http://mlpforums.com/topic/34615-my-roommate-destroyed-my-mlp-fim-poster/

[Leatherbehlt 465]

I have a roomate, been sharing a space with him for about 2 years now since Christmas in '11. His name's Loyd. Friggin guy keeps me up at night and takes a LOT of food. Not to mention, he poops EVERYWHERE. Seriously, walk into my room and you may explode from the fumes. He's anti social though, so at least he doesn't bring any girls home. In general, it's rather inconventiant having a roomate. Oh, and he's a hedgehog.

[D1SC0RD 987]

inb4 you read this

http://mlpforums.com/topic/34615-my-roommate-destroyed-my-mlp-fim-poster/

 

omg! The poor guy! I was kinda planning on buying a pony painting too... Waaah  some people are so disrespectful!

 

With that tidbit of fear planted in my mind, I think it's fair to say that I don't want a roomie. I'll try not to get one, but if I do get one then I will try to make the best of it. I guess it wouldn't be the end of the world... but still not ideal.

 

Keep the discussion rolling though. See if you can sway my mind 

[DJRainbowDash 724]

My freshman roommate was probably one of the most annoying people I have ever met in my entire life. The guy always stayed up till 2 in the morning and played games all day every day, and he was a huge introvert. On top of this, he was a very arrogant person, and pretty much was the opposite of myself. I ended up having to spend the entire year with the kid, and should have tried to change rooms earlier on.

 

Point being, if you are relatively sure you and your new roommate won't work together, don't be afraid to change rooms. Find somebody your comfortable in living with, since you'll be spending a lot of time around them. 

[Luna's Husbando 61]

Why is everybody hating on introverts? Are you guys just extroverted and need somebody to talk to at all times or do introverted roommates give off some kind of uncomfortable aura?

[D1SC0RD 987]

Why is everybody hating on introverts? Are you guys just extroverted and need somebody to talk to at all times or do introverted roommates give off some kind of uncomfortable aura?

 

I don't know if people are hating... I think people are saying that they'd rather make a close bond with someone they're gunna live with for a while. Trust and all...

But still... I am super duper introverted. It's not that I hate people, it's that I enjoy my own company and not so much the company of others (especially when it comes to sharing a living space). This is initially why I didn't want a roommate... but now it's a dual reason seeing as my secluded behavior would be a nuisance to anyone I live with. Glad I found it out though.

[Starlight Sky 374]

After you greet each other and set some ground rules, there usually won't be any trouble. There are people who'll raise issues about little things (some more excessive than others), but as long as it's not a safety hazard, just keep doing your thing.

 

I wasn't inclined to meet up with anyone until recently (not even my friends), so my past roommates always had a quiet kid who hardly initiated conversation; kept my headphones on all day. I imagine that would go over better in an apartment, but we sat back to back facing our respective wall. It took a little time for me to start opening up, but I was pleasant when they asked something. And aside from general considerations, that's all it ever took.

 

I stayed inside 90% of the times they invited me somewhere. Told them I wasn't really interested, and that was that.

 

As long as you reach a level where you're comfortable communicating (whether you make a habit of it or not), you shouldn't have much trouble keeping to yourself.