Social awkwardness

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

I'm very introverted. Yes, I can talk to people just fine but usually they start the conversations not me. I'm fairly quiet too. I usually just sit back and listen as oppose to talk. I hate being somewhat shy/socially awkward. I don't know...I probably just have Social Anxiety or whatever it's called.

[Soundgarden 2,758]

I am the very embodiment of social awkwardness. I could probably ramble on for ages about my different speech impediments, my inability to socialize with others or contributing to conversations

 

I'll just summarize by saying that I am social awkwardness

[Shanks 10,816]

I used to be very socially awkward because of having Autism so things like making friends, having a conversation or even something as simple as basic eye contact were things I had to actually be taught how to do where most people are able to teach themselves by observing others. Learning basic social rules such what is appropriate/inappropriate and in what situation was also extremely difficult for me, but though I still have some challenges I have gotten to the point where most people can't tell that I am "different". I am still somewhat introverted and still don't like crowds or loud noises but can in some cases tolerate them to a certain degree in certain situations.

 

I think that people are becoming more socially awkward partly because neurological differences like Autism are becoming more and more common and partly because people are not interacting socially as much as they used to. It seems most people take basic social interaction for granted but because of my circumstances I couldn't afford to take that for granted, people don't make an effort to socialize because they overuse technology and forget about the world around them. Technology is great, I love computers and I love video games but I think a bit more balance is in order.

[idonotreallycare 94]

I'm pretty socially awkward in that I can't really start a conversation with anyone and stutter when talking publicly, but I can hold a conversation just fine. I'm usually just really quiet until someone starts to talk to me, then I can't shut up.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,705]

The original post of this seems a bit arrogant and closed minded BUT, I digress. Let me say this:

 

I am insanely socially awkward. I always have been. The thing is, I have severe Asperger's syndrome and crippling anxiety problems. What does that make me? I stay inside a lot, mainly because my town is small and worthless. I am ashamed to admit that I just don't get out much. I try to, but I cannot really travel anyways, so there isn't much I can do.

 

Maybe the reason why there are people like me who use technology as a main form of communication, is BECAUSE of these problems that we have and not the other way around, which your post implies. I am fine with chatting with someone online, because there is no chance of me being awkward and nervous or stress out randomly, or have my nervous twitches kick in, or my natural instinct to avoid all eye contact which may put others off.

 

So I see these things as a great advantage for someone like me. Does that make me lesser than you? Probably. I already don't like myself at all as it is so, no difference there.

[LazuriteDreams* 136]

 Sometimes I am that type of person who is really awkward but then if you mention something that involves my favorite things I somehow get excited for some reason :/ I'm just weird like that.

But mostly it just depends. Half of the time, I'm usually not the first person to stat a conservation unless if I wanted to.

Edited August 8, 2013 by Lunar

[GhostPony750 959]

It must be because of computers/video games.

When they are kids, they usually play with their friends at kindergarden. But me, I was always playing alone, So I guess it's natural for me to like being alone.

 

Teens today are often reffered as "no life", they spend hours in front of the TV playing Call of Duty alone.

It's not normal, if they were Introvert naturally, like me and some of the people I know, they would be reading books, watching documentaries, play guitar, etc. But they just... do nothing all day long!

 

Every little kids I know nowaday are stuck infront of the TV playing Wii, because it's more attractive than playing outside.

I had a Gameboy before, I had a Gamecube with amazing games like Zelda Twilight Princess and Pokemon Firered, but I still went outside to play with my friends, even if I'm introvert!

 

I just don't understand what's happening.

 

Instead of crying in the mic and screaming deatht threats while playing CoD, they could learn some stuff.

They are just Extravert, or sociable people who are stuck on a video game.

 

It seems I'm more sociable than these "no life" now. :/

And I'm even trying hard to be sociable, I went to see my friends 3 days in a row last week, which is a personal record.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

First of all, I'm very introverted and shy but I guess I can sort of relate to this. When I get over my shyness it's not good when I talk to another shy person that sometimes even ignore me and it just makes me feel uncomfortable.

 

My generation isn't really the shy and introverted one. There are very few people my age that way, so I didn't experience it when I was younger and if anything most kids my age are very extroverted and love talking about themselves and do pretty much nothing else but taking care of their bodies. Making guys like me look like they're lazy, lol. I have no idea why kids today are becoming more shy if that's what is happening. 

 

Although, like I said when you are kind of social awkward yourself it's pretty hard talking to another social awkward person. I kind of like it when people are easier to talk to since it's already sometimes hard to start a conversation. I always manage to overcome my shyness though. I don't know, it's good to have some social skills and even though I suck at them myself I would recommend learning them since they are essential.

 

Also, now that I think about it. One of the main reason for my social awkwardness is that I feel like I have nothing in common with my generation and I know this since I think it's a lot easier talking with older people. It's like I was born in the wrong generation.

Edited August 8, 2013 by Fluttershyfan94

[Dark Moon 965]

You know what, I'm really not sure if I can call myself socially awkward :/. I guess I don't start conversations with people, but a lot of the time we just don't have a lot in common I guess. I know someone pretty well and we relate a lot, then yeah, no problem talking to them. Also I'm immediately out of the conversation if someone starts ripping into someone else. I will never talk about someone behind their back and it drives me nuts when people do. Basically I'm someone who likes to talk but has self imposed exile upon myself, if that makes any sense. I'm getting better at socializing tho.

 

This is driving me nuts, I am socially awkward. I only can talk to people I know and have stuff in common with. I blunder and fall on my ass most of the time with other people. I also have a really bad eye contact problem that I am fighting, damn is it hard to fight. People have pointed it out before, someone even said to me once, "not looking at me doesn't make me not exist." This spooked me because it was a classmate in school. I am trying to get better though and am making some progress on my own.

Edited August 8, 2013 by Dark Moon

[SJ123 14]

I have autism, so I'm 100% social awkwardness. It's kind of hard for me to start a conversation, explain or can't get the right words out of my mouth. Because of that, I didn't have many friends in school and look awkward around other people.

 

In school, people had known as me as "the quiet girl". Nobody even talks to me or hangs out with me because of my quietness. When people do hang out with me, they never talk to me and I feel left out, so now I just hang by myself and do my own time.

[Kitty Cat Moonshire 629]

I am not socially awkward (although I do sometimes make things awkward, because I am painfully honest, deal with it), but I really haven't noticed an excess in social awkwardness. There are always socially awkward people, and there are those who can fit in everywhere.

 

But on that note, I have noticed that people are less social.

I was over at my friends house, and his younger brother had a few friends over. All they were doing was sitting on the couch, silent, and texting.

I mean really, why are you even hanging out?

[Discordian 6,015]

I feel there's something to be said for personal priorities. While I do think it's important to at least look decent when you interact with people in public I don't think that any specific behavior is required. To some of us there just isn't any need to behave a certain way in public if we don't want to. Personally I do have some courtesy and will hold doors for people and try to talk less about myself and ask how others are but I do most of my conversing online.

 

I fully believe that online interaction is a legitimate form of social interaction. While it's true that there is some difference due to the lack of physical cues and voice tones it is often easier for people to be able to think about what they say and for some it's actually better to think first then speak. For those like me who have little filtering between what we think and what we say typing things out online helps us to properly sculpt a thought into something to talk with people about.

 

While it's possible to train yourself to be more thoughtful of what you say in person the question is whether it's necessary or not. We can train ourselves to be adequately social so we can get jobs and meet friends but overall there is no real need to be totally and 100% socially adept for those of us who spend a majority of our time by ourselves.

[crazitaco 596]

I'm pretty awkward and introverted myself. I haven't particularlly noticed a whole lot of people around me who are socially awkward, if anything i feel like its more the social standard NOT to be a shy introvert and to be out partying and getting drunk/getting laid with lots and lots of people. You must be friends with alot of introverts, because I feel like i don't know many and tend to be quite alone in my shyness.

So dear OP, maybe you're just trying hang with the wrong crowd? People who like ponies and video games are going to be people who spend enough time online to see them become popular, and are probably introverted. All the extroverts are going to be out partying and stuff, and probably think ponies and video games are for weird anti-social dweebs. There have always been introverted people since the beginning of humanity, so instead of getting offended at us for being the way we are, why don't you try talking to someone who actually wants your friendship?

Edited August 8, 2013 by crazitaco

[Thrashy 2,800]

Call me a technophobe if you will, but I somewhat blame cell phones and how huge a part of everyone's lives they've become. They drastically cut down the time we spend talking to people face-to-face, and it's my suspicion that this huge drop in actual interpersonal interaction is largely to blame for the seemingly sharp increase in our youth's introverted behavior within the past couple decades. Why smile at a passing stranger and say "hello" when you can just pull out your phone and pretend to be preoccupied? (I know many of you have done this. I've even done it before.)

 

Trust me, I'm not really trying to come off as harsh towards shy people; I did use to suffer from crippling shyness myself, and I didn't like it one bit. I doubt any shy person likes it. (Anypony beginning to see why Flutters is worst pony to me yet?)

 

I'll tell you this - ever since I more or less forced myself to be a more sociable person, I've been a lot more successful in my interactions with others, and yeah, I guess you could say I'm just a generally happier person because of it. And it's not just me, all introverts have the capacity to kick their insecurities to the curb and break out of their shells. Even if you have to completely fake your confidence at first - as I did - it will eventually bloom into genuine confidence.

 

Sure, such a reworking of your fundamental temperament will seem impossible at first, and certainly it'll come easier for some than for others, but if you really want to improve your social skills, it's up to you. It's not just a pipe dream - if my silly ass was able to break free of that shit, so can any of you.

Edited August 8, 2013 by Lowline Thrash

[Throwaway19573639385 764]

You don't wanna know how damn hard it is to start a conversation or approach someone yourself when you have social anxiety or are introverted. Like, ever single time I try there's this huge wall or obstacle blocking me, it's like my tongue is nailed stuck and my lips sewn shut. Even when it's just casual talk or a very straightforward conversation it's still too hard for me to say the right things.

 

I still don't get how people can be so outgoing, it's completely impossible for me. I can hold a conversation but meeting new people, especially when they're in a group? Hell naw.

 

And social awkwardness doesn't come from a time-consuming hobby or obsession, introversion is completely natural and one can't just overcome it. That's linking two things together that don't have anything to do with each other, they're completely unrelated. However, choosing hobbies or obsessions that have little human contact because someone is introverted is completely logical, not the other way around. Making that link is complete BS. As if someone introverted is going to choose public debating as his hobby.

Edited August 9, 2013 by Winterbass

[mineralwater 83]

i'm very extroverted actually, but the problem is that i live in NORWAY in THE COUNTRY with very few people around

there are jonne's and fjortisser EVERYWHERE and they're pretty dumb, narrowminded, and so FRIGGIN normal that it is annoying as hell

i'm different and that makes it very hard for me to fin friends in a place like this

[♞RedLotus♞ 360]

The original post of this seems a bit arrogant and closed minded BUT, I digress. Let me say this:

 

I am insanely socially awkward. I always have been. The thing is, I have severe Asperger's syndrome and crippling anxiety problems. What does that make me? I stay inside a lot, mainly because my town is small and worthless. I am ashamed to admit that I just don't get out much. I try to, but I cannot really travel anyways, so there isn't much I can do.

 

Maybe the reason why there are people like me who use technology as a main form of communication, is BECAUSE of these problems that we have and not the other way around, which your post implies. I am fine with chatting with someone online, because there is no chance of me being awkward and nervous or stress out randomly, or have my nervous twitches kick in, or my natural instinct to avoid all eye contact which may put others off.

 

So I see these things as a great advantage for someone like me. Does that make me lesser than you? Probably. I already don't like myself at all as it is so, no difference there.

You are not lesser than me. I am focusing primarily on kids who decide to be lazy, and harm their social life by choice. I feel alot of sympathy towards those who have problems that affect their life. Kids with autism or anxiety are one of the many groups that I am referring to. I am not trying to attack those kinds of people, I am mostly targeting those who do it by choice. Either way, I am not making fun of anybody, but simply making an observation that I think should be focused on more by society. Thank you though, for your concerns.

I'm pretty awkward and introverted myself. I haven't particularlly noticed a whole lot of people around me who are socially awkward, if anything i feel like its more the social standard NOT to be a shy introvert and to be out partying and getting drunk/getting laid with lots and lots of people. You must be friends with alot of introverts, because I feel like i don't know many and tend to be quite alone in my shyness.

So dear OP, maybe you're just trying hang with the wrong crowd? People who like ponies and video games are going to be people who spend enough time online to see them become popular, and are probably introverted. All the extroverts are going to be out partying and stuff, and probably think ponies and video games are for weird anti-social dweebs. There have always been introverted people since the beginning of humanity, so instead of getting offended at us for being the way we are, why don't you try talking to someone who actually wants your friendship?

Oh no no no I think you are getting the wrong idea here. I am not being offended by those people, neither am I offending them. I am just trying to spread my concerns to everyone. Problems like these should be worked on little by little, because I truly care about my fellow bronies, and I don't want them to be the next "Guy living in his parents basement". Also, not every extrovert has sex, gets drunk, and goes out partying. Just like how people think that every introvert is either a creep, a nerd, or a loner. I am pretty outgoing myself, and at the same time I am balanced with knowledge and intellect from the internet and such. What I'm trying to say here is that I am not an idiot jock, but neither am I a geek. This is just a social experiment that I have been thinking about for a couple of days now.

[Scootalove 10,689]

I've seen social awkwardness for a long time, and I usually feel myself as a introvert. But, at times I can carry a conversation or even hang out with friends even if I don't think that I'm going to have fun. I don't really know how to describe our generation as either introverts or extroverts because, I feel that they are in between. But at times, I do feel introverted since my shyness comes to mind when I don't even want to go outside or go to the movies.

[crazitaco 596]

Oh no no no I think you are getting the wrong idea here. I am not being offended by those people, neither am I offending them. I am just trying to spread my concerns to everyone. Problems like these should be worked on little by little, because I truly care about my fellow bronies, and I don't want them to be the next "Guy living in his parents basement". Also, not every extrovert has sex, gets drunk, and goes out partying. Just like how people think that every introvert is either a creep, a nerd, or a loner. I am pretty outgoing myself, and at the same time I am balanced with knowledge and intellect from the internet and such. What I'm trying to say here is that I am not an idiot jock, but neither am I a geek. This is just a social experiment that I have been thinking about for a couple of days now.

See, that right there is the issue. We know you guys care and from your point of view, you see it as helping us. But we don't need to be fixed, and (atleast for me) don't want to be changed. I want to be social and outgoing only on my own terms, and for the most part I'm happy with the way I am. I do agree that its bad to be a creepo who lives in your parents basement and stuff, but not every shy person will end up like that. It's just as much a introvert stereotype as it is that all extroverts like to get drunk and have sex. Stereotypes are bad, mkay

Edited August 8, 2013 by crazitaco

[boospookum 23]

... Eh. Guess it depends on what is meant by the term "awkward". Is awkward a substitute for "incompetent", "non-normative, "unaware", "off-beat", or something else entirely? Guess we'll never know.

 

There's too many ways to translate the idea of what it means to be socially awkward to give a clear response beyond the fact that all people fumble socially from time to time.

 

Many people may feel they are being awkward when they are not; truly, many people are anxious when speaking to each other and are uncertain how to carry on a conversation - it's a big portion of why small talk and changes of theme in conversation happen. It's a matter of how convincingly one is covering that up, I suppose.

 

For what it is worth, I would cast my vote as sometimes. I am considered charming and welcome company by the public just as much as I am considered an eccentric. One does not necessarily outweigh the other. Top-notch at customer service and I could sell art lessons to a blind man, but I also will not hesitate to go running through a public fountain and can become very flustered around people expressing strong emotions. Social propriety is a sliding scale, I flip-flop around it as often as anyone else.

 

Now, the change of generations? Every generation is different than the one before it, and I am inclined to agree that the new generations may be trading in one type of intelligence for another. Previous generations tended to be more knowledgeable over all, whereas newer generations tend to be more knowledgeable only within their sphere of interest.

 

Einstein once said that he feared the age when technology would surpass human interaction, because the world would have a generation of idiots. Words worth thinking over, certainly. Not a person immune or outside of his warning, either. I am constantly amazed at my own ignorance.

[Raritas 6,820]

Half my problem I think is that I have a lack of confidence. I'm absolutely fine when I'm around my friends, but when I'm talking to someone I do not know as well, I have problems. I feel like they are getting bored and I need to be talking every second. I'm gunna start talking to people on Skype more, perhaps that'll help...  Plus my Paranoia doesn't really help me out...