fan fiction Equestrian Tales

[RainbowDashie 767]

M.L.P. F.I.M. FANFIC WROTE BY Unicorn_Noob <--- thats me actually

This fanfic is about an imaginary man not about me

 

When I was a little kid I used to dream about going to the magical land of Equestria. As I turned older that dream faded away. I joined the military first as an soldier but the high rank people found out that I was to smart and I got promoted to weapons designer. They asked me to design firearms for target practice and so I started designing guns. After a year I knew everything about firearms.

Once, when I was watching television, I saw my guns and saw how people were murdered by my creations. I was mad. I went to my boss and said 'I quit,. He didn't ask why he understood that I saw my guns. At that moment when I was walking home I thought about that dream of going to Equestria and immediately I wanted to go there. I wanted to escape the cruelty of mankind. So I started doing tests and making portals. First I tried small teleporting an bottle to the other side of the room. And so on I went making bigger and bigger portals until the time has came. My portal was finished. I taped my video camera to an stick and pushed into the portal. It worked. I couldn't believe it. It actually was Equestria. I started packing stuff. My sun panel charger for my phone and other devices and of course food and water. I was one step away from Equestria. Would I dare? But I asked myself too late I was in Equestria already.

In the distance I saw a little town. I hoped Ponyville. I started walking to it there was no way back so 'why not?, I thought. When I entered the town, witch indeed was Ponyville, I noticed something strange. All the ponies were as scared to me as they were to Zecora. But it started to rain, and of course on me. I looked up and saw an angry Rainbow Dash sitting on a dark cloud following me. Later , Rainbow still following me, I saw Pinkie Pie laughing. Not just laughing, but laughing at me. Then suddenly an sweet voice called me it was

Twilight Sparkle, she was wondering why everypony was so scared of me and so mean to me. She asked me "what are you?".

I answered "I'm an human I come from another dimension."

"wow impressive" Twilight answered "you look so weird what's wrong with your fur?"

I started smiling "this is not fur these are my clothes"

"clothes? like we sometimes wear clothes made be Rarity"

"yes, but I always wear them"

"why" asked Twilight

"because else…"

I couldn't finish my sentence when Applejack rammed trough the door warning Twilight. "STOP! Don't you touch our friend Twilight!" she shouted at me. The rest of the ponies entered the library. All five were angry at me except Twilight witch was confused. She started to calm down the crowd of these five angry ponies.

 

After me explaining myself how I got here and my clothes, there was only one question left "why" I started telling about my weapons an the cruelty of mankind and again before I could finish Applejack told me that that the exact reason was why they were so angry at me: they've met another human. How he got here was and is an mystery. "The only thing we know is that he is an cruel person" said Fluttershy with her cute voice.

"he's an real bully" Rarity said.

"Yeah, he's planning to attack us, to kill us!" Rainbow yelled

"why did I never hear of him?" Twilight asked.

Then Twilight spoke with her sweet voice again "where are my manners, my name is Twilight Sparkle" and immediately the other ponies started introducing their self

"I'm Applejack"

"Hi I'm Pinkie Pie"

"My name is Rarity"

"Rainbow Dash"

"I'm …Fluttershy"

they all said. I knew I had to introduce myself so I told them my name Jack. Immediately I said "if I can help any of you I would love to, at least for some bits. Since I don't have any money." First Applejack asked me to help carrying baskets with apples to the barn. Pinkie asked me to help her bake cupcakes in change for some. "Okay then, that's settled, now I only need a place to stay for…"

"you can stay here!" Twilight said exited.

"okay" I said.

It was getting late. After Twilight and me talking the entire evening about each other, earth, Equestria and all kinds of stuff we called it a night and got some sleep me sleeping on the couch and she in her bedroom upstairs.

The next morning I went to Applejack to help her carrying those apples. I really was lucky to have my hands I would have earned less if I wouldn't have them. At the end of the day I earned 30 bits I didn't know or that was much but I was very lucky and Twilight cooked for me so I had more money left. We ate an delicious salad and again we talked about all sorts of things. That night I again slept on the couch. Until Twilight woke me we had to pick up Spike at princess Celestia in Canterlot. I told Twilight that I wasn't ready to meet the princess yet. And very disappointed Twilight went away and I went to Applejack to work again.

After a month of hard working at Sweet Apple Acres I earned a lot of money and asked Rarity to make some new clothes for me. It was weird but I was sure she could do it. One morning it was an dark and cloudy day. I went to SAA I saw someone not somepony, someone. It was the other human with an knife in his hand. He walked towards me ready to stab me. But he didn't instead he asked me to join him and of course I said "NO" he punched me and so we started a fight. Most ponies came to take a look how it was going. When everypony in town was there he stabbed me in my chest. I pulled the knife out of my chest and stabbed him with it. I hit his neck. Dead. He was dead. Immediately I thought of the ponies would they still like me. I knew they hated him but I killed him wouldn't they hate me too now? After asking myself that question I collapsed. I was unconscious. After I woke up, still feeling a bit weird, I noticed that I was in a cart pulled by AJ. Twilight was walking next to me. After she saw me still living she was happier then ever before. She jumped on the cart and gave me a hug "I thought you would be dead" she said "me too Twi" I answered "me too" and I collapsed again. After I woke up a second time I was back in Twilights library. I had bandages around my chest. Twilight said the doctor said I had to rest. So no more working at SAA soon. "Applejack will bring you food" Twilight said. "and I think its time for you to write to princess Celestia" so she gave me a quill and paper and I started writing.

Dear princess Celestia

A month ago I ended up here in Equestria, ponies were not so nice to me at first but your faithful student Twilight Sparkle gave me the chance to show everypony how good I really was. I hope you will let me stay here because I don't want to go back home.

The friend of your faithful student Twilight Sparkle, Jack.

And so on Twilight called Spike to send it. "good thing I don't have to write for him" he said.

Almost immediately I received an letter back saying that I could stay.

When I was at Twilights home sitting or lying on the couch talking with Twilight and her friends. When I was able to walk I did and walked trough Ponyville.

Rarity couldn't see me with an ripped apart shirt so she made me an new one for free. Of course she hadn't any models of humans so I had to model. A few hours later with my new beautiful shirt I walked back to Twilights home. And so on. Every day the same until they needed me one day. Well, actually my hands but that's still me I had to climb the roof of AJ's barn. Rainbow crashed there and couldn't fly anymore and since I was the only one with hands I had to climb. And everyday somepony had some job for me to do.

After an day of helping Pinkie in sugar cube corner I dragged myself to Twilights library and lied on the couch and started sleeping within a minute.

The next morning I woke up. (My bandages were gone for almost a week now and the wound was almost over). It was dark. It was unusual to be dark when it was daytime in Equestria. I turned on the lights and saw the pony gang Pinkie, Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, Fluttershy and Rarity. They threw a party for me. I didn't know what I saw. "it's a party" Pinkie shouted. "it's for your one year anniversary in Equestria" Rarity said. Rarity gave me a hat. It looked like Applejacks hat. Fluttershy gave me a little bag. Rainbow Dash gave me a letter it said: "I O U 1 adventure". Twilight, of course, gave me a….book. But never before I was that happy with getting a book as a present. It probably was because Twi gave it to me, after all se always was my favourite pony, but now. I think I had a crush on her.

A few days after the party I heard about a big treasure in the Everfree forest and I asked Rainbow to join me, she had to come with me because of that letter she gave me. And I would share the treasure with her. So we wandered into the forest talking about earth. And I told her my secret, I told her that I had a crush on Twi. Obviously I gave her a hard time holding he laugh to herself. But we came to a cliff and of course Rainbow just flew over it. She couldn't carry me, I was way too heavy. So since I had my hat and bag I looked like Indiana Jones so why wouldn't I try something? I grabbed some sand and threw it into the cliff and believe it or not there actually was an invisible bridge. "I cant believe that actually worked" I told Rainbow, she smiled back. That invisible bridge makes much more sense in Equestria then on earth. We wandered further into the forest until we came into a room and I knew what to do. At one side of the room there was a medallion an at the other side a stick. I saw that at Indiana Jones. I put the medallion on the stick and put that in a hole in the ground. The sun shined into the gem in the medallion and a bright laser-looking beam came out of the medallion shining onto… Twilights library? Okay then.

We ran and flied to the library and started looking for the treasure when Twi entered the library, she asked me: "what are you doing?" "we're looking for a treasure" I answered "it should be somewhere in the library." "maybe I can help" she said. We walked to the basement and Twilight opened a secret door by pulling one of the books. "best place to hide an secret door" I said. She giggled. And indeed there it was. Gold, diamonds, silver and all other kinds of gems. I grabbed some gold and gave it to Rainbow, witch immediately after getting the gold, dashed off. "that was not cool" I said to Twilight, "no not really".

The next day I went to visit Applejack I wanted to ask her a question. I chose her because of her honesty. I asked her how I could get Twilight to love me. She said that I had to love books and studying. Since that day I love books and studying. The rest of the week I started working in the SAA again everyday when I came home, after more then a year living there I could call it home, I started reading books. And every time when I saw that Twilight saw me reading a book I had the feeling she loved me. Later that night when we were sitting on the couch watching the Equestrian Fun Fact Book together. I got a bit drunk and most people get really brave when drunk but I got really shy. So after two and a half bottles of apple whiskey I finally got Twi to drink one with me. Not much later we were both drunk and I discovered that after drinking five bottles of whiskey I wasn't shy anymore I was even more brave then normal. so I wrote that in the fun fact book but the next day I couldn't read it. Apparently my handwriting isn't so good after seven bottles of whiskey.

I think I passed out the night before because that morning Twilight said "good morning honey" I didn't know what happened that night but the results are very good.

I went to the SAA to work, again with my hat so I looked like Indy and I thought it would fit there at the barn. When I walked on the terrain Big Macintosh stopped me and looked at me. Then we heard that country girl voice of Applejack "It's okay Big Macintosh" "eeeeeeyup" he said. I entered the barn to see what work I had that day. Again I had to pull apple carts. I walked to the apple trees, still wondering why Big Macintosh stopped me.

After a whole day of hard working I returned home. Then, suddenly, I saw him. The same man as I killed before. "I thought you was dead" I yelled at him still being a bit drunk from the night before. He didn't reply he only walked towards me. He had a gun. Not just any gun my gun, one of the guns I designed. I was even more mad then last time. I again had no weapon. I tried to grab the gun, but it didn't work out. When I was there lying on the ground, he pointed his gun at me, ready to kill me. Then, suddenly, Twilight came to rescue me. She jumped onto him giving me the opportunity to stand and throw him on the ground. He fired his weapon. I kicked him so he would fall on the ground I put my foot on his chest, grabbed the gun and shot him in the head. Three times since it was a burst fire weapon.

I walked to a doctor with Twilight. She was shot in her front leg so she couldn't walk. I had to carry her "no problem" I thought, but the truth is else she was very heavy. Not something you would expect from a My Little Pony character but she was almost with her head as tall as me. When we arrived at the hospital. I didn't watch the operation Twilight needed I wasn't allowed. But after two intense hours Twilight was ready to go home. As by miracle she could walk home all by herself.

When home I noticed something strange my blanket on the couch was gone. "since we are boyfriend girlfriend I thought we could sleep in the same bed" she said and immediately her voice switched to fear and asked "did I do wrong, if I did wrong please don't hate me, it's the first time ever a stallion wanted to talk to me and love me" "love you" I asked. "oh you don't? But Applejack told me that…" "so it was Applejack" I asked "well, she is absolutely right I love you Twilight" she blushed. "I love you more then any other pony or human I have ever met"The next morning I went to the SAA again, but nopony was there no Big Macintosh, no Granny smith, no Apple bloom, no Applejack. It was quiet but I couldn't work without them so I left the barn and went into town. Suddenly Pinkie called me. She asked me to help make cupcakes. She said "first I wanted to do this with Rainbow Dash…" "what exactly" I asked. She gave me a cupcake. When I woke up I was stuck to the wall. I saw Psycho Pinkie in her cellar. "oh sure" I said and I saw one foot holder was broken. She grabbed a knife ready to cut me open. I unleashed my foot and kicked her. I undid myself from the wall and ran. Unfortunately this cellar was in the Everfree forest. So I ran in the direction I thought Ponyville would be. I came past sugarcube corner there was pinkie pretending it never happened…

 

THE END

 

NOTE: english is not my first language

Edited March 6, 2012 by RainbowDashie

[Marcato 2,143]

Holy wall of text batman! Probably the longest thing i have seen! Reading now! :3

 

EDIT: Woah that was pretty cool. LOL i really liked the Indiana Jones reference. I can almost see his face at that scene. Very interesting story, and very unique. I can definitely see this being expanded on.

 

I must say however i didn't really like the some-what inappropriate joke closer to the end. Not every story needs to have that. :/

 

LOL cupcakes reference. NOT TODAY PINKIE.

[Gdrlowmgqwmhopqw 107]

Lacking in detail. It feels so rushed.

 

"I couldn't finish my sentence when Applejack rammed trough the door warning Twilight. "STOP! Don't you touch our friend Twilight!" she shouted at me. The rest of the ponies entered the library." Wait, when exactly did he enter the library himself?

 

As for conversations in general, well it doesn't feel like you really put much thought into it. Everything happens way too fast. Not to mention, it seems kind of dumb how reading books gets Twilight's interest. As for the ending, i can only guess what went thought your head. You were embarassed about what you wrote, so you added that in the end to make this all seem like a big joke. Don't do that. If you were actually serious about the ending, well you might want to think harder what fits in the story and what is better left out.

 

Also some work on grammar in general might help. Yeah, i noticed that english is not your first language. It is not my native language either, but that gives me more of a reason to work on it.

 

Still, it was kind of interesting and you should give it another try. Just.. try not to add random references that feel completely out of place.

Edited March 6, 2012 by Jormaz

[Marcato 2,143]

Lacking in detail. It feels so rushed.

 

"I couldn't finish my sentence when Applejack rammed trough the door warning Twilight. "STOP! Don't you touch our friend Twilight!" she shouted at me. The rest of the ponies entered the library." Wait, when exactly did he enter the library himself?

 

As for conversations in general, well it doesn't feel like you really put much thought into it. Everything happens way too fast. Not to mention, it seems kind of dumb how reading books gets Twilight's interest. As for the ending, i can only guess what went thought your head. You were embarassed about what you wrote, so you added that in the end to make this all seem like a big joke. Don't do that. If you were actually serious about the ending, well you might want to think harder what fits in the story and what is better left out.

 

Also some work on grammar in general might help. Yeah, i noticed that english is not your first language. It is not my native language either, but that gives me more of a reason to work on it.

 

Still, it was kind of interesting and you should give it another try. Just.. try not to add random references that feel completely out of place.

 

*sigh* i must say i agree with this. I was holding back because i didnt want to discourage you. I really did enjoy everything else though! It was very original and could be really awesome. I think he was being a bit harsh in some ways like with the gramar. Some people just arent good at a language and need a chance to learn it. Its the other things you should focus on right now though.

[RainbowDashie 767]

thank you for these comments i can handle criticism and i will use it when i write my next fanfic