What do you think of my idea?

[Book Horse 12]

Original thread:  http://mlpforums.com/topic/86984-i-need-your-opinion/

I'm going to write a fan-fic, and I need people's opinions.  Before you go on, look the thread listed above.  You don't have to, but I recommend it.  Anyway, so here's my new idea for my fan-fic.  Tell me what you think, and if you think I should carry on, if you have any think that should be added to the idea or if it sucks and it should be something else.  Please tell me you opinion, be completely open.  This is my first fan-fic inspiration, and I want it to be good.  Also tell me if this idea has been done before, because I don't want to write about something that has been written about before. 

 

Equestria has been invaded by a new evil so intense, thousands of ponies have moved away.  The ponies that stay are either too young or old to make the move, or are ponies that don't want to give up their home, they're willing to fight for it.  Princess Candace and Shining Armour and most of the Crystal Empire residents have already gone to claim a new home.  Princess Celestia has fallen ill, and Princess Luna has been kidnapped by the ones behind of this new evil.  Only Princess Twilight Sparkle remains to fight against this new evil.  With her friends by her side and the 'rest' of Equestria she must fight this new evil, protect Equestria and her friends, and above all, survive.

 

What does everyone think?  Would this make good fan-fic?  If you think there can be any improvements please comment below.  Also I'm open to any advice!  This will be my first fan-fic! 

[Scootalove 10,689]

You know what? That sounds like a good concept for your story, I think you will hit a home run with this! Good luck!

[Geek0zoid 1,468]

I agree with Scootalove. This looks real top notch I hope it all goes well for you, friend!

[Standard User 2,127]

It's following quite a few cliches and has some "Huh?" moments, but you could make it work. You'd be messing with canon thought, though.

 

For one, you say that the ponies too young or old can't make the move, presumably because they are too weak. Yet they are willing to wage a war for land that has been abandoned? And anyway, Equestria isn't exactly the place where families would leave each other behind simply because they would have trouble on the trek.

 

Second, Shining Armor doesn't seem the type to back down from a fight. Your evil species would have to be downright badass to scare him off.

 

Celestia/Luna being sick/kidnapped is overdone. You'd really need to blow that out of the park to keep it from going quickly stale.

 

Finally, Twilight being the one to stand up to a grave evil is a common story idea. You'd need to be really original with your ideas and have a good writing style to stand out from the crowd.

 

You can do this, but you'll have some roadblocks to hurdle if you want a kickass story. If you go for it, good luck!

[Book Horse 12]

It's following quite a few cliches and has some "Huh?" moments, but you could make it work. You'd be messing with canon thought, though.

 

For one, you say that the ponies too young or old can't make the move, presumably because they are too weak. Yet they are willing to wage a war for land that has been abandoned? And anyway, Equestria isn't exactly the place where families would leave each other behind simply because they would have trouble on the trek.

 

Second, Shining Armor doesn't seem the type to back down from a fight. Your evil species would have to be downright badass to scare him off.

 

Celestia/Luna being sick/kidnapped is overdone. You'd really need to blow that out of the park to keep it from going quickly stale.

 

Finally, Twilight being the one to stand up to a grave evil is a common story idea. You'd need to be really original with your ideas and have a good writing style to stand out from the crowd.

 

You can do this, but you'll have some roadblocks to hurdle if you want a kickass story. If you go for it, good luck!

This makes it more of a challenge to make my story make since.  After reading this, I'm realizing those flaws could affect how well my story makes sense.  I may make a few changes to it.  And you're right; I'll do something different about Shining Armour.  About the young and old ponies, that may offend a few people, and I may have to change that, too.  I may make something different happen to Luna and Celestia...I don't know.  Thanks for pointing this out!  It's comments like these that determine whether my story will be a success or not.  Thanks a lot! 

[Standard User 2,127]

This makes it more of a challenge to make my story make since.  After reading this, I'm realizing those flaws could affect how well my story makes sense.  I may make a few changes to it.  And you're right; I'll do something different about Shining Armour.  About the young and old ponies, that may offend a few people, and I may have to change that, too.  I may make something different happen to Luna and Celestia...I don't know.  Thanks for pointing this out!  It's comments like these that determine whether my story will be a success or not.  Thanks a lot! 

 

No problem! Feel free to PM me if you need anymore help or just want someone to bounce ideas off of. 

[True Rarity 1,240]

Ooh, this looks even better than the other thread. I think you should go for it.