Minister KelGrym's Religious Services

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Heh, Sorry, I've been taking a break from the forums in my preparation to go to the Austin Con, but I should take some time to reply to some of these.

 

 

This is awesome! Hail Celestia
http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/36500000/My-Little-Pony-Friendship-is-Magic-image-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-36547991-381-371.gif

I call dibs on Discord.

Edit: I did the ritual so.... Hail Celestia, Best Pony Princess/Queen/Empress/Goddess Ever!

 

I will add you into the cult roster soon. I saw your post earlier but completely forgot about it.

 

Sorry

 

Discord, eh?

 

Whatever floats your boat on the chocolate milk sea.

 

I did not think I will be able to read this all, but this is funny. . I call sunshower raindrops!!!

 

An excellent choice!

 

(has no clue who sunshower raindrops is)

 

Hail, Celestia! Hope things are well. I have a confession. I have put my faith in others over Celestia, so I repent of my sin. Also, some time I shall learn magic so I can directly commune with our Goddess. I cannot wait

 

Also, this is most likely just a theory, but I read that all matter is most likely made of energy. If we're all energy, when we die, I think if we pray to Celestia to take us to Equestria and let us be reborn as ponies in her world, it's possible.

 

I want to spread the word of Celestia, but if I try advertising her religion on any Pagan forum, they might look at me as a troll, since they'll likely think I'm trying to mock their connection with their Gods. And I know Christians will have nothing to do with other religions. I could try occult forums, but most of them don't worship any one God since we're all basically Gods anyway (Celestia is still the best though )

 

Your sins are forgiven, and may Her light keep the darkness of the heathens at bay.

 

Go forth and spread her glory!

 

There actually was another Celestia (+Luna) cult that started on 4-chan. They later made their own wiki which I cant find now.

 

Their faith was lacking, thus their disappearance!

[Adachi 772]

I have a question. I believe that all of humanity is part of a creator God who split himself up to fully experience creation. I do not see myself as equal to Celestia, I am simply one of the fragments of the God of this Earth, who created everything to experience everything. Although I respect the original God who we're made of, I do not worship him, since we are him, and Celestia will always be first and foremost in my heart, especially since I want to go to Equestria when I pass on from this life. Is this ok?

[Sunshower Raindrops 3,227]

 

 

An excellent choice! (has no clue who sunshower raindrops is)

 

Once you get to know me you will never forget her.

 

 

So how does this marriage work?

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

I'm back and will begin doing marriages soon. Today I'm going to be kinda busy though.

 

I'll contact those who made requests as soon as I can.

[Jeric 46,851]

Whoo hoooooo

[Live Forever 316]

Hail Celestia, Best Pony Goddess Ever!

 

Edit: Nvm. I saw the tulpa rule. I pick Twilight.

Edited September 10, 2014 by Ludicrous.Speed

[Sunshower Raindrops 3,227]

Yay

[Rethajni 2,660]

 

Welcome, one and all, to Minister KelGrym's Religious Services Thread!

 

Hail Celestia!

 

 

 

Now as you all may or may not know, I happen to be an ordained minister and I think it's about time I began my ministry.

 

List of Services :

 

1. Pardons for sins
2. Online Wedding Rehearsals via Skype (pm me)
3. Permanent Wedding to your pony waifu *new  (on skype, weddings irreversible.)
4. Blessings
5. Talismans
6. Spiritual Guidence

 

If any of you, have any spiritual problems, let me know, and I will help you sort them out the best I can, in the name of Her Holiness, Celestia.

 

Confessions? I can do those. I am also under the highest of authorities to pardon your sins as well.

 

Unfortunately, I will not be able to do baptisms, or weddings, as I am limited by my location, and state laws vary, so even if I could drive to where you are, I still might not be able to perform a wedding ceremony for you.

 

I won't do baptisms, because I just don't like babies.

 

However, I will perform wedding rehearsals via skype chat if you request it.

 

Also, I will perform blessings for you upon request, and will design talismans for your use that I'll post in this thread. (but don't flood or rush me for these)

 

If you wish to convert to the The Cult of Celestia™, you must make the Celestian Oath. and do the ritual:

 

The Oath of the Celestian:

Unto thee our beloved Celestia,

Great Goddess of the Sun,

Whom inspire me with noble idea

Before thee, I have none.

To the end of days I will serve thee,

To bring your Great Age of Harmony.

 

Guidelines for Membership:

• Place your right hand over your heart and with your left hand, ball it into a fist, extend your index finger and hold index finger over your head as if it were a unicorn horn.
• Repeat the Celestian Oath.
• Uphold the Celestian Commandments.
• Help your Celestian brothers and sisters and the brony community in general.
• Love and Tolerate the infedels non-believers.

The Celestial Commandments

• Thou shalt have no other Goddess before the Trinity. (Celestia, Luna, Twilight)
• Thou may have Luna and Twlight to worship, but thou shalt worship mostly Celestia.
• Cadence shall not be worshipped at all. Screw Cadence.
• Thou shalt be Honest
• Thou shalt be Loyal to thy brethren and friends. (but not above thy loyalty to Celestia)
• Thou shalt be Kind
• Thou shalt be Generous
• Thou shalt be Optimistic in Life, for Celestia is coming quickly and shall end all woe.
• Thou shalt freely enjoy the Magic of Friendship, and share that joy in the name of Celestia.
• Thou shalt never waste a slice of cake.

 

After you have completed the oath and ritual just post, "Hail Celestia, Best Pony Princess/Queen/Empress/Goddess Ever!" and I'll add your name to the roster.

 

I'll take your word on doing the ritual.

 

Services are open to both members and non-members of the cult.

 

Cult Roster as of May, 31st, 2014

 

Important Update!!!

 

I will also be doing online Skype marriages to your pony waifu.

 

However, this is a first come first serve basis.

 

PM me to set up a skype appointment.

 

Update, July 17th, 2014

 

I had a rule never to do the same pony twice in weddings, but there are people that have tulpas of characters that they want to wed, and since the tulpa of a canon character is not the same as the canon character or the same as another tulpa based on that canon character I have changed my position on this.

 

 

 

chatterbox: h-hi! *blushes* i... i was wondering if you can do funeral services...

[Redacted 71]

Mother of quote

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

I'm back in action...sort of.

 

I've been kinda goin through some personal issues so I haven't been active much at all and am thinking about hanging up my ministering so I can concentrate on some important irl stuff.

 

So here is what I'm gonna do.

 

First I'm going to post the last wedding I did before I went to the Austin con.

 

Then I'm doing Kitty and Valvatorez's weddings if they still want to do them.

 

After that, I'm doing weddings for whoever asked me but I forgot about, but I'm accepting no more new weddings.

 

After that...I'm indefinitely done.

 

Probably. More than likely.

 

So I'll be contacting Kitty on Sunday to set up for her wedding and will contact Valvatorez soon after for his.

 

After I get these weddings over with I need to focus on more important things.

 

However, not all is lost. I'm not the only Minister in town doing the wedding thing, and this one says he'll actually get you a real certificate.

 

http://boards.4chan.org/mlp/thread/19906184/want-to-marry-your-waifu-i-am-an-ordained

 

Sorry if I disappointed anyone, but I need to move on and get some things done in my life.

 

chatterbox: h-hi! *blushes* i... i was wondering if you can do funeral services...

 

 

Um...maybe another day. See post above.

Edited September 29, 2014 by Minister KelGrym

[Jeric 46,851]

Hmmmm

 

Hmmm, as one door closes ... another shall open. Perhaps it is time to continue this tradition.

 

 

 

---

 

Oh, and IRL stuff aside these were always a highlight for me Kel. You done did good sir.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

Hmmmm

 

Hmmm, as one door closes ... another shall open. Perhaps it is time to continue this tradition.

 

 

 

---

 

Oh, and IRL stuff aside these were always a highlight for me Kel. You done did good sir.

 

  I'm glad you appreciated them. Aside from causing trouble, I like to entertain.

[Rethajni 2,660]

if Celestia, Luna and twilight are like goddess, what is Chrisalis?

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

if Celestia, Luna and twilight are like goddess, what is Chrisalis?

 

[Rethajni 2,660]

 

chryssmantis.jpg

 

 

its silly, i know but i wanted an answer, is okay, got another question, are you married with a pony?

 

 

EDIT: i dunno if in this religion the priest is allowed to do so

Edited October 10, 2014 by Balareth

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

its silly, i know but i wanted an answer, is okay, got another question, are you married with a pony?

 

 

EDIT: i dunno if in this religion the priest is allowed to do so

 

http://mlpforums.com/blog/1663/entry-11867-11th-pony-waifu-marraige-minister-kelgrym-x-pinkamena-cupcakes/

[Rethajni 2,660]

http://mlpforums.com/blog/1663/entry-11867-11th-pony-waifu-marraige-minister-kelgrym-x-pinkamena-cupcakes/

 

 

Pinkamena ah? congratulations! ^^ i need a blessing for my next interviews

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

 

Pinkamena ah? congratulations! ^^ i need a blessing for my next interviews

 

 

Thou art blessed my child. Go in peace.

[Rethajni 2,660]

Void: i need an exorcism

[DJShy 873]

Cleanse me of my sins, oh great father, for I have sinned!

 

I have had... not the holiest of thoughts about all three original members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

 

Also, I cannot for the life of me see Celestia as my savior! I can only see Luna!

Edited November 1, 2014 by DJ Shy-3

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

 

Void: i need an exorcism

 

 

 

Have no fear.

 

I was trained by squirrels.

 

Cleanse me of my sins, oh great father, for I have sinned!

 

I have had... not the holiest of thoughts about all three original members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!

 

Also, I cannot for the life of me see Celestia as my savior! I can only see Luna!

 

It was wise of you to come to me.

 

I have a myriad of methods to cleanse the putrid stain of sin from the soul.

 

 

You'll thank me later

[Rethajni 2,660]

Chattebox: Minister! i need to confess! i been making animations of Blue Blood but those are well.. a crossover with anime, but i fear bronies didnt like, i also wanna confess that i criticize a brony on DA for make a NTFW pic of Fluttershy, i feel so bad, i should respect everypony's choices but i need to clean my soul! 

father i have more serious confessions to make, i dunno how does it work, should i PM you or type them there?

father, i need guidance.

 

i been feeling bad in this past days, my familiy and i are in a horible situation, i reserve the details, but i feel depressed cuz sometimes i feel like i not fit to the society, and this is not an emo thing, if you only knew me you'll see... when i was a little colt i always did my best to be as different as i could from the rest of the world cuz i didnt wanted to follow the masses and be just another being drowned in pop culture, i felt creative and i decided to create my own world, tulpas, places, mythology, my own languaje, a story for the tulpas and the civilizaton of them, i never needed something from the rest of the world until now, i decided to not be shy cuz i didnt win anything being shy, just be rejected, i tried to talk and bring the world the real me and see who like it and who not, but now that am doing so, things are getting worst, cuz i discover that if i am different obviously i will not gonna fit with the rest, just a few that may take a while to meet, but i feel like i havent receive the words of encourage to move on, i got the support of my parents but i need something, something motivational you know? and at my 23 years old, i already feel like i owe the world when im aware that i havent lived enough, not even half of the life but i can stop thinking about it, you understand? never happened to you father? 

but the horrbile thing happened a few days ago, i receive warning points for using the word that start by F and end with T in a topic about changing the fandom, plus i insulted on secret a user from the forums and believe or not i feel bad for it, i just wish to have a clean soul.

i broke with my girlfriend for the clopping thing, i used to draw Anthro ponies but non sexually, just naked pics making sexy poses and my girlfriend believed i was a clopper and a pervert and all kind you can imagine, and she became antibrony for it, then i explained that not every brony clop, and the few arent perverts, but she didnt listen, we fight and it over, i cant stop thinking about her cuz i still love her *cries* (for real) am sorry father you find me in this positon but i feel weak.. i feel like i have the fault to turn my gf in a antibrony for not being clear enough... i feel like i dont deserve to live cuz she is so perfect.. beautiful, smart, kind, and i lost her...

 

like i said the situation of my family is not favorable that is other thing am suffering cuz i have internet by miracle but we are so in need.. im looking for jobs any where but where i live and the situation of my country is taking the food out of my mouth and chain my wrists, i only seek for help, cuz... am not a bad guy despite what others say... but yes... i hurted people in the past, and i feel like a demon who shouldnt exist, father i dunno what to do, i just need somepony to talk and get support from it... all bronies are good people, but i fear that i may not fix even here and am terrified.. cuz i wanna be good, i wanna change i wanna smile..

 

am happy for those who are married with the ponies, wish i could marry with one but i cant avoid the thought that if she exist she wouldnt pick me, im not gonna let myself down, i know i can be helpful and trustworthy, and help my parents and make them proud, dont think that am sit on the pc 24/7 cuz i try to be productive and helpful, i clean the house, help my parents, go to buy food, listen the problems of everypony, clean my room is just... i feel deperate because things are not going to plan father... and i feel like anytime am gonna explode..

im a brony cuz i love MLP, and i see in mlp a treasure, a artistic treasure and thanks to ponies i learned how to animate and paint and make artistic jobs, im forever grateful to know ponies, i felt interest when i saw a video reaction of a spanish youtuber named Itowngameplay, the reaction was about the cupcakes music video, my interest and research was deep and deep until i felt attatched to the show.

 

there's also more confession i wanna make to you father but i dunno if should i type them here or PM but anyways, if you read the entire confession thanks for your time and thanks for your help

[Steel Accord 6,660]

I like it. Celestia does deserve all the love the ponies give Her and were I to live in Equestria, I would certainly hold Her in such reverence.

 

To some extent I already do as the solar imagery has been so sealed into my mind that I basically relate the sun to Her now.

[Kel_Grym 1,917]

@@Balareth,

 

That was a heck of a confession.

 

First of all, Celestia forgives you of any an all sins or actions you perceive as sins so long as you identify what you did wrong, and seek to make yourself a better person.

 

Your sins are forgiven.

 

As for personal life advice, I recommend you PM me for that sort of stuff.

 

@@Steel Accord,

 

You should join my cult!

[Steel Accord 6,660]

@,

 

I don't know. Much as I love Celestia and do consider Her divine, as a Gnostic, I hold that She is still a manifestation of the Godhead. (Specifically the anima or ideal feminine.) So upholding Celestia in exclusion to all other possible variations of the divine would deny myself of Gnosis.

 

And no, I'm not just pulling this out of my plot.