I'm a Newb MLP Music Composer and This Is My Third and Best Song Yet. Critique?

[MistyStarBright 9]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B3acIgBD0Ok

So this is about Luna and such and is called "Journey From The Moon". If you could critique this song, it would mean the world to me. Thanks!

[The kind of brony 6]

I like the song but it is kinda repetitive, it could use lyrics. But otherwise it really has a nice feeling to it and i would love to hear more music from you :3

[ReGen 1,466]

I think it's pretty decent! 

 

...Up until 1:47-ish...

 

Okay, so here's my main criticism: there's a lack of flow or coherency. Instruments just come in and out in a very segmented way. The song was presented as very smooth, but it didn't feel like it throughout. The song is pretty slow, too, so the segmented feeling is a bit exaggerated.

 

I would suggest finding a more subtle way of introducing new melodies, rather than add this, play for four bars then take out. I also feel that it gets a bit repetitive over time.

 

And jeez... I get what you were trying to do at 1:47, but it came out of nowhere, and it honestly really startled me! No build up, nothing! Just... poof!

 

But don't forget that I find it to be pretty decent! Please don't take this critism too hard! Just apply it to your music or move on if you don't agree. Your choice, friend!

[Jihalliday 9]

Up till 1:47 - 

Oh hey this is nice!

1:47 -

OH MY GOD WHAT IS THISSSSSSSSSSSSS