Midnight Seeker

Well, I may be 30 years of age, but as my birthday is the first of November, I nearly always celebrate it on Halloween. Hell, all my good birthdays have been based around Halloween. The mature and and adult ones. . . depressing as hell. My last few birthdays were depressing. This year, my plan was to make it clear to everyone that I didn't want my 31st acknowledged in any way. Then I worked a beast of a shift at work (nearly an entire week of sleepover shifts)and got really pissed off. This year, my friends and I are doing a werewolf theme. We're still deciding what we're going to do, but whatever it is, we're doing it as werewolves.

Granted. You get to spent forever as Chaos Spawn. I swipe your wallet as you painfully morph into a twisted abombination. You then eat everyone you ever loved, liked or was chill with. Every dick you know goes on to live ling forfilling and sucessful lives. I wish for a nice drink.

Granted. You taste good. So good, you have a little nibble and oh crap you are eating yourself and yes it hurts and hurts but you can't stop. I nick your wallet as you cannibalize yourself into the record books. I wish for passion!

Granted. The explosion takes out your school and your entire district. You are the only survivor and you get to enjoy 87% burns. Your friends and family are all dead, everyone else hates you as a terrorist. . . and I nicked your wallet. Oh, I wish for the bliss of eternal sleep.

Well, first of all I consider one's religion to be a personal thing. Ones spiritual views or lack there of are not mine nor anyone else's business. Politics on the other hand. . . Okay, some background. I am Scottish and a paid up socialist. Scotland has members in the Westminster Government, the EU government and our own Holyrood Government. As some of you may know, we in Scotland have a rather big choice coming up this year. The choice to leave the UK. I'll be voting Yes for Scotland becoming Independent and I will keep trying to push a socialist agenda. While neutrality in religion is fine and dandy, you political views are what you think society should be. Now, I get why a lot of people are sick of it but that is how the big guys like it. Apathy means that the bad guys get away dictating who our societies should be governed. The one thing the annoys me more than neutrals are the idiots who vote blindly out of habit. Labour for example, hasn't been Labour since Tony Blair took over. They stopped being a left wing workers party and started being a right wing party of the upper middle class (deregulating the banks helping the recession here and waging war in the middle east). I'm not in favour of forcing folk to vote (I consider that a perversion of democracy) but if you don't vote then you are saying that you don't care who runs your country. Then you have no right to complain. Right after I posted my first reply here, a friend of mine put this on Facebook and I think it captures the point perfectly.

Granted. Enjoy your time in Hell as you suffer more than anyone else ever has or ever will (for wiping out the human race). My last act before I died was to steal your wallet and kick you in the shin. I wish for some help with the grim/dark story I am now writing.

Granted. You have to live with the knowledge that your mum did a dragon. I also stab you in the throat and steal your wallet. Throat injury = no shouts. You also suffer an arrow in the knee. I wish I could watch and memorize every single episodes of Doctor Who and make money on that knowledge.

*sigh* Here we go. Israel is an Apartheid state and threat to world peace. Islam is just this generations bogieman. The Beatles are overrated (as are the 60's). Cheese is poison. Sports are boring to watch. *Puts on waterproofs and picks up umbrella*

Why would you make such a wish? It's like wandering in a bar filled with escaped psychopaths wearing a t-shirt that says "I dare you to kill me". You find this Penal Zone and end up trapped in it. The bizarre nature of such a place makes you look like a character from a bad 90's movie involving animation and live action. It's totally alien to you as you are to it and it drives you into a pit of mindless insanity of which there is no rest or the sweet release of death. Blah blah I have your wallet. I wish to be more passionate. In everything I do.

Granted. After you eat it, you suddenly have a little nap. When you wake up, you are tied to a table with Pinkamena Diane pie standing over you with her cupcake making gear waiting. I also nicked your wallet. Final insult? The muffin was rather bland. I wish that this world had superheroes.

Well. . . my ex. She was 21 when we were together, she had three children (her youngest were twins). She and I had a very active sex life, aside from when she was on her period. During that time she was no different mood wise, but she claimed that it was uncomfortable. She also told me that she was horny as hell, but her lady parts hurt to much. Anything the lassies want to ask us?

Granted. You are still deaf, blind, stuck in Pakistan with no shoes and wallet. Also, I hunt you down and take your teeth. With Pliers. I wish that people read what I write and tell me what they think, be it good or bad.

Granted. You are then deafened in a tragic alarm clock based accident, and blinded when someone offers you a sweety if you can look at a solar eclipse without blinking. I then kidnap you and dump you Pakistan. I also nicked your wallet and shoes. I wish to be on time to the dentist tomorrow for getting that tooth pulled.

Okay, I know that I dream a lot, but I often don't remember my dreams. I know that once, I dreamed this long and amazing poem but it was gone faster than I thought possible once I woke up (my only memory is that it happened). This was a big deal for me as I have never had any talent or interest in poetry in my life. Part of the reason I don't remember my dreams is because they tend to be like my life or I feel like someone else and everything is normal. In saying that, I'm most often happy in my dreams. My first words on waking up tend to be either "Oh no" or "argghh!". I have a condition in my right eye. It hurts at times. Most often when I wake up. Anyway, my dream last night was just odd. I remember nearly all of it. It was me and three friends that don't exist (two men and a woman). They didn't have names, but we all knew each other. We were on an adventure holiday in the Amazon. Somehow our bus/van thing could float. We end up getting pulled along the current until we ended up in a jungle river. Our transport was stuck between a few rocks. We were able to make our way across the stream and found a large cave up a hill to camp in right by the waters edge. It was at this point one of my friends became a bit unhinged. Like he was on coke. We realized that there was a native tribe on the other side of the water and my friend ignored us to hassle and terrorize them. He developed a "Man who would be king" complex. We stayed in the cave and we kept begging him to leave the natives alone. They were women, children and old folk. I then did something I never did before. I had a dream inside a dream. That other dream was of us being horribly killed one by one. I'll spare you the details. When I woke up from that dream, I took it as a form of premonition, and begged my other two friends to get into our weird van/bus (It was a strange mismash thing that kept changing). They didn't want to leave our other friend behind, but I got through to them. As we got back to the van, our friend was doing things to a native woman. We begged him to stop and come with is and he just laughed. As we freed the van from the rocks, he continued to laugh. As we drifted away, my other male friend asked if I knew what the danger was. I pointed to the bank, and we saw we were being watched by a number of armed natives with murder in their eyes. They were making their way back to the village and left us alone. We ended up in a city and we silently agreed not to speak of what happened. As some of you can tell, my dream was based on trashy cannibal native horror movies (like Cannibal Ferox and the like). I don't think I've ever had a dream inside a dream before. I really don't know what to think of this, aside from me knowing to get the hell out of a horror film sharpish.

Granted. They mean nothing, and since you have learned no usable skills you end up poor and bitter. If only you had that winning lottery ticket. Alas, it was in your wallet and I was in the neighbourhood. Sucks to be you. I wish I lived in a Mass Effect type universe (without fear of being harvested by psychotic machines).