Ask the Lord of the Rings

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

Well, regardless of the fact that I am in fact not a pony, I am quite open to thine questions.

 

Do go on.

[Jokuc 8,174]

@@Dark Lord Sauron,

Sauron, do you want some Visine?

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

@@Dark Lord Sauron,

Sauron, do you want some Visine?

No thank you, my eye is in no need of such... Primitive needs.

 

No offense.

[Jokuc 8,174]

No thank you, my eye is in no need of such... Primitive needs.

 

No offense.

 

You know, I've always known that you think Legolas is rather cute in that outfit. I'll get you the same outfit when you get your body backm if you'd like?

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

...No

 

Nope

 

Nope

 

NOPENOPENOPENOPE

[Jokuc 8,174]

 

 

NOPENOPENOPENOPE

 

Why did you chose to become an eye anyways? Would it not have been easier to become a hand or a mouth?

 

I mean you can't talk or move, people might think you're a christmas candle.

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

Why did you chose to become an eye anyways? Would it not have been easier to become a hand or a mouth?

 

I mean you can't talk or move, people might think you're a christmas candle.

I already have my own mouth in a separate set... Too bad SOMEONE killed it.

[Jokuc 8,174]

I already have my own mouth in a separate set... Too bad SOMEONE killed it.

 

Here, I made this Aragorn picture for you!

 

 

 

 

Sauron, you know, you remind me of someone else.

 

There was this guy called Saddam Hussein, he was a pretty nice guy, but he had problems with his anger like you! And both of you were dictators who lost your body! Isn't that weird?

[Lord Bradley 1,319]

@@Dark Lord Sauron,

 

So i was wondering... How did it feel when you lost your finger and blew up? 

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

Here, I made this Aragorn picture for you!

 

 

 

 

Sauron, you know, you remind me of someone else.

 

There was this guy called Saddam Hussein, he was a pretty nice guy, but he had problems with his anger like you! And both of you were dictators who lost your body! Isn't that weird?

...Get out

 

 

@@Dark Lord Sauron,

 

So i was wondering... How did it feel when you lost your finger and blew up? 

To be honest, the finger loosing part wasn't as bad compared to the fact that the blowing up part felt like explosive diarrhea times 20.

[Lord Bradley 1,319]

@@Dark Lord Sauron,

 

Would you consider accepting me as your apprentice? I mean, neither of us have bodies. You're and eye, im a mark. We have something in common, no? 

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

@@Dark Lord Sauron,

 

Would you consider accepting me as your apprentice? I mean, neither of us have bodies. You're and eye, im a mark. We have something in common, no? 

Sure thing, I've mended my ways and I am ready to use what is left of my diminishing power to help others. Perhaps I can even pass it onto you.

[Jokuc 8,174]

@@Dark Lord Sauron, Sauron, when is mordors anniversary? I was thinking about giving all the orcs some gift bags with soft-face wipes

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

@@Dark Lord Sauron, Sauron, when is mordors anniversary? I was thinking about giving all the orcs some gift bags with soft-face wipes

Stay calm, Sauron... Keep it together...

[Silverhoof 2,844]

Hmmm. OK. You made rings to control Humans, Elves, and Dwarves. And then a master ring to control the controllers.

BUT.

Hobbits had an amazing resistance to the one ring, and used that against you.

 

So what made you stop making controlling rings when it came to Hobbits? They would have had no resistance to your powers then.

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

Hmmm. OK. You made rings to control Humans, Elves, and Dwarves. And then a master ring to control the controllers.

BUT.

Hobbits had an amazing resistance to the one ring, and used that against you.

 

So what made you stop making controlling rings when it came to Hobbits? They would have had no resistance to your powers then.

Actually, the rings for the Elves and Dwarves didn't even work. I went "Go Ring, go!" but just sparkles flew out and nothing happened. So it pretty much only worked on humans in the first place...

[I used to be a stranger 7,994]

Why did you let Ancalagon die?

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

Why did you let Ancalagon die?

Bleh... Do I look like I care? Either way, at the time Morgoth was in charge, not me. So go trouble him with that.

[Silverhoof 2,844]

I see your ultimate defeat as quality control. Orcs make for lousy minions. Sauruman was competent but out to take the ring for himself.

Why is it that great criminal minds are always forced to work with sup par minions? The guys with the elephants were great, but then the good guys showed up with an awesome army of the dead.

 

Seriously> That dead army kicked major a$$!  OK, why weren't the dead guys serving YOU? An army of the dead and an evil overlord, its a perfect match! You already had undead generals.

[Dark Lord Sauron 18]

Seriously> That dead army kicked major a$$!  OK, why weren't the dead guys serving YOU? An army of the dead and an evil overlord, its a perfect match! You already had undead generals.

Their... "Code of honor" prevented them from joining me... Or something... I have no idea whatever it was. I even asked politely!

[Darker 1,352]

Dang, you're literally the Lord of the Rings.

 

If you chose a Middle Earth dragon to ride on, which would be?