Any +20/25/30 who lacks of lovelife here?

[Starshine 16,333]

 

 

Thanks for the advice, but it's a little harder than that for me. I'm half Twilight Sparkle and half Fluttershy. Going out in being known to the world goes against my personal nature. Making myself noticed isn't something that I do unless I'm really desperate.

 

Obviously I can't find someone if I never look, but I also face another dillema. I need to find someone who is okay with the fact that I'm socially awkward and shy as hell. Chances are, that person is just as much of a recluse as I am, and is hiding from attention in the same way that I've been for most of my life.

 

Even Fluttershy can find a place where she's right in her elements

 

You just need to find social scenarios where you can be yourself and feel comfortable. It might takes a while, but once you found it, things will go down really smoothly from there.

[Invincible 2,091]

I'm 24. I was in a relationship with a girl a few years back. It ended VERY badly (i'm not gonna go into details). I feel a bit lonely at times, but i can't bring myself to meet new girls. I just lost all of my initiative. I stay solo, and if i feel ready, or meet someone new unintentionally i suppose that'll change but right now i'm not actively seeking romance.

[Discordian 6,015]

Understandably so. I can see why you would think that, as I once did.

 

There's a lot of research that's been done on the subject. It's pretty well-known that people who are lonely tend to be depressed and life unfulfilling lives. Only very few people have the capability to be satisfied living alone, and that's likely due to a neurological disorder of some sort.  For just about anyone, social interaction goes from a want to a need at some point. The same is true for love and romance. For most people, it is a need.

Someone who requires social contact gets distressed and depressed when they don't have it but the person who enjoys his solitude and is in a perfectly balanced temperament is the one with the disorder? I smell something fishy.

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

Understandably so. I can see why you would think that, as I once did.

 

There's a lot of research that's been done on the subject. It's pretty well-known that people who are lonely tend to be depressed and life unfulfilling lives. Only very few people have the capability to be satisfied living alone, and that's likely due to a neurological disorder of some sort.  For just about anyone, social interaction goes from a want to a need at some point. The same is true for love and romance. For most people, it is a need.

 

I mean, look at Pinkie Pie when she thinks her friends left her. She loses her mind and befriends inanimate objects. Look at that movie with the guy on the deserted island... I forget what it's called, but he gets lonely and creates a volleyball to be his friend. That's how powerful lonelieness is. The need for companionship is second only to having food, water, and a safe place to sleep.

 

If you've never experienced it first-hand, consider yourself lucky. The fact that you think it's silly only means that you've never experienced having less social interaction than you need. If and when you do get to that point, you'll know.

lol people are perfectly capable of being successful and happy alone.

 

Also ive had what you would consider no 'social interaction' for almost 10yrs now and i still think what your saying is silly,in-fact i feel its more silly than i even did 3-4yrs ago so what now.

Are you going to now label me and say i have a "neurological disorder" because i don't care either way if im with somebody or not? 

 

If so then i will proudly wear that label.

 

Isn't that right Pinkie?

Edited July 5, 2014 by Pinkamena-Pills

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,302]

I've had a view to the neverending romantic disaster that is my aunt's lovelife.  A look at someone who - while she's rarely not been in a relationship - has been in them for all the wrong damned reasons.  1. Because she absolutely couldn't stand not being in one.  2. Because the sex was good (nevermind that he tried to set her on fire that one time - she later married him while he was still incarcerated).  3. Because she lost her license and needs a ride to work.  And I won't even bother factoring in the children that she neglected / endangered all the while.  I think that is far far far more dangerous and self-destructive than simply being okay being single.

 

There's no guarantee you'll meet / be with anyone, much less someone you'll genuinely grow to care for.  Much much less the love-of-your-life.  If you want to be in a relationship simply to be in a relationship...  That's not a good reason, IMO.  Wanting to be in a theoretical relationship with a theoretical person.  OR, you could totally turn that into a positive.  "Someday, I'mma meet that special someone.  She's out there right now, just waiting for our dogs' leashes to tangle in the park."  Also, if you've been friends with a girl for years and deeper feelings blossom...  Okay.  If love or at least affection (for a specific target) already exists...  Okay.  But not wanting to be alone / just wanting to be loved for the sake of it?  Re-read my first paragraph lol.

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

Are you going to now label me and say i have a "neurological disorder" because i don't care either way if im with somebody or not?

 

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. In fact, I very much disagree. If you're happy with your life, then you're happy. That's fine and no one should try to change that.

 

Someone who requires social contact gets distressed and depressed when they don't have it but the person who enjoys his solitude and is in a perfectly balanced temperament is the one with the disorder? I smell something fishy.

 

 

I was merely pointing out the fact that if you live a life of isolation and you're happy with that arrangement, it's very possible that you are are autistic or have some other neurological oddity. This is society's construct, not mine. I'm not trying to label anyone. I'm just stating a well-known fact. Most people need social interaction. If you find that you don't, you may be neurologically atypical.

 

I'm saying this as someone who is definitely not all that right in the head to begin with. I don't mean it in any sort of demeaning way; that was not my intention. All I mean is wanting social interaction is normal, while not wanting it is atypical.

 

It is, by all means, okay to be atypical. More power to you, if that is the case.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Regulus

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. In fact, I very much disagree. If you're happy with your life, then you're happy. That's fine and no one should try to change that

 

 

 

 

I was merely pointing out the fact that if you live a life of isolation and you're happy with that arrangement, it's very possible that you are are autistic or have some other neurological oddity. This is society's construct, not mine. I'm not trying to label anyone. I'm just stating a well-known fact. Most people need social interaction. If you find that you don't, you may be neurologically atypical.

 

 

 

All I mean is wanting social interaction is normal, while not wanting it is atypical.

 

 

So..your not trying to label me..but you kind of..are??

 

 

How about we just agree to disagree on this issue yes?

Edited July 5, 2014 by Pinkamena-Pills

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

Just saying that it's possible, not saying anything other than that. But okay, I'll agree to disagree.

[Discordian 6,015]

That's the thing I don't understand. It's a disorder to be content but NOT a disorder to react negatively to an irregularity in your habits? I know you aren't saying it yourself but...society is fucked up if this crazy backwards shit is what's considered normal.

[Virgil 685]

I'm 25, never had a romantic relationship, and I highly doubt I ever will; as I have come to the place I think it best if I remain single for life. Because:

 

1. My calling in life, which is potentially dangerous or at least requires me to be moving from place to place. Which makes raising children rather difficult.

 

2. A number of features of my personality, probably the result of both my natural temperament and childhood; would likely cause both my significant other and myself to be miserable.

 

3. There would always be several things that would find themselves higher up on the list of priorities. Obviously that is not good if one has a family.

 

It's a bit difficult to come to terms with such things, but by accepting it I can focus on things I could not if I was pursuing a romantic relationship. So I may not have offspring in the biological sense but as I will likely be a writer or Teacher at some points in my life; I can attest by my own life, that an author or teacher can have a bigger impact than a parent. And in some cases end up becoming surrogate parents for people who don't have parents, either in the literal or figurative sense. So if I can inspire someone to do something great for others, because I was able to do something that I couldn't have done if I were married. Then I count my life of singleness an honor and a blessing.

[Scootaloo Is Best Filly 578]

I am a 31 year old male and have never had one girlfriend.There was one girl who I really, really, really, liked so I told 2 of my best friends that I really liked this girl. I was too afraid to talk to her or tell her though. And now, it's too late , cause one of my best friends without a word to me that he liked her began dating her.

 

Let me tell you, that feeling really hurts when you have a crush on some girl and than you tell your best friends you have a crush on some girl, only to find out said friend and her are now dating like a week later- week in a half later.

 

The only thing I could actually qualify as a date are 2 set up's. Both of them equally as bad as the other one.

 

I feel really horrible about myself and can never really seem to overcome my shyness. It's like whenever there's a girl I really , really, like, there's this voice in my head that stops me from ever talking to said girl. Several people have told me I just need to make this voice stfu and just do it.

 

But, I don't know the first way of how to do this. It makes me feel really bad to know that there are people who are married and have kids at my age or earlier and yet here I am, forever alone. It makes me feel like there's something seriously wrong with me that I can never ever fix.

[Virgil 685]

 

 

Are you going to now label me and say i have a "neurological disorder" because i don't care either way if im with somebody or not? If so then i will proudly wear that label.

We are all quite insane some just in different ways and to different extents. As someone who has dealt with mental illness and knows/known people who deal with it in some form, and then compared them with people considered "sane"; I think such labels as "sane" or "insane" are more for convenience in a number of cases.

 

My apologies to the OP, but I felt the need to address this.

[Luna 831 466]

Beeb single for 19 years it is trash but I have luna my wife

[Deae Rising Shine~ 55,440]

20 and no. But somehow, I'm not really interested in a love life anyway.

[Inactive01 5,299]

21 and no love life here. Not too interested in it since I'm getting ready for a life in research (Masters, PhD). But who knows?

[Kay Dreamer 884]

I'm 24, have been in a few relationships. I've been single for quite some time though, and perfectly content with that.

 

I'm the kind of person who values her own space, freedom and independence very highly. Relationships don't always gel with that. I'm open to the idea of meeting a person who I enjoy the company of to such an extent that I'm willing to share some of those things... but I'm in no hurry. I want to build my own life first. Have a house and a career and live alone for a few years. Once I'm comfortable, then I'll think about inviting someone to share that life with me.

 

Only very few people have the capability to be satisfied living alone, and that's likely due to a neurological disorder of some sort.

 

That is so not true. I am perfectly happy being single, in addition to being completely mentally sound. I have friends, family and colleagues to spent my time and social energies on. I don't need a relationship. I won't discount the idea of being in one again, but for now I am absolutely content on my own.

[Envy 6,162]

Well, I'm 25, and quite lonely. I have certainly dated in the past, though. Over the years I've limited myself from relationships, though. For a good portion of my later school years I was in the "Meh. I don't want to date anybody" mindset. I was also quite confused on what sexuality meant, and as mine was still in the development stage I wrote off all of those feelings (most of the time lol), and made it fairly known that I claimed to be 'asexual' and didn't want to date anybody. Lol.

 

Nowadays, I'm still caught up in strong feelings for somebody. I hate to be like that... But due to circumstances in my life, it has become unavoidable for me. It's either her, or it's nobody (and really, it should be nobody). I've had opportunities to date others, but I have turned them down.

 

I do take it very hard, not being taken at this stage in my life. However, my life has become so messed up altogether that I don't even know why I'm bothered by this in specific. Everybody else my age has left me behind in practically every way, not just in finding a partner. I thought I might have gotten over this, and I could let the idea of being with someone go, but then she came back into my life. =/

[Zenit 190]

I don't know if I will ever get a partner. i don't feel like i want one aswell. i'm not 20 yet. my mum really wants me to have a partner she's serious about it.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Jake DiscoTech

[Shanks 10,816]

Never had one, a combination of my extreme social awkwardness in high school along with real life being a major cock blocker and other factors have made it to where I am 28 and still haven't been in any sort of relationship unless you include a certain one I have with uh myself I guess. I am only human so I can get lonely sometimes but I am not letting it discourage me, there are worse things than being single and one of them is being in a bad relationship or a relationSHIT as I have heard someone once hilariously call it. I will find someone but not because it is what society expects or simply to have some glorified trophy but because it is what I want.

[Aura 120]

24 and have never had a girlfriend.  I'm not even looking for one.  Why the heck am I posting in this thread?  

[Ashen Pathfinder 16,161]

I'm 24, have been in a few relationships. I've been single for quite some time though, and perfectly content with that.

 

I'm the kind of person who values her own space, freedom and independence very highly. Relationships don't always gel with that. I'm open to the idea of meeting a person who I enjoy the company of to such an extent that I'm willing to share some of those things... but I'm in no hurry. I want to build my own life first. Have a house and a career and live alone for a few years. Once I'm comfortable, then I'll think about inviting someone to share that life with me.

 

 

That is so not true. I am perfectly happy being single, in addition to being completely mentally sound. I have friends, family and colleagues to spent my time and social energies on. I don't need a relationship. I won't discount the idea of being in one again, but for now I am absolutely content on my own.

 

That is really the best way to look at it; IMO. Too many times have I seen couple get together and get married WAY too fast. I understand they have an affection for each other, but they lack a solid foundation on which to build and share their lives.

 

Now, I still live with my parents, but it helps me to build up my life, finances, etc., I have my own bills to pay & all, but it's not overwhelming like having a mortgage to pay for; as well as homeowners and flood insurance.

 

I've just seen too many people get themselves into trouble. I work at a bank and we've had to repo or even foreclose on some who went out on their too quickly.

 

It's a sad reality, but it's also good to have a solid mindset about it. One important key to a good relationship is to take things slowly and build for your future.

[Mae Borowski 356]

Meh,22 and never had a girlfriend/kiss what have you. No relationships,atleast nothing that wasn't long-distance and i stopped caring awhile ago. 

 

20 years old had terrible abusive relationships, so as of right now being single is fine...but it would be nice to have a bf/gf (yes i am bi)...but alas....being an "unmanly" brony has kept that from me....but i will not stoop so low as to pretend to be something im not!!

 

[Zekromic 1,054]

I'm 23, never had a girlfriend, never kissed, but lots my virginity at my  with a prostitute as a birthday gift....... it was awful  . If I've never care much about having a girlfriend or having sex, I care much less from that point on, not like I don't have more important things to worry about. If I get a good woman as my couple, cool, if I don't, that's cool too, being single has it's merits too  , but I'll worry about that when I live on my own. Or not, after all, I value my personal space very much, besides, the more I interact with people, the more I value myself, AND MY SPACE  . But is being alone bad? Being alone is FAR less harmful than interacting with the wrong people  -_-

Edited July 5, 2014 by Zekromic

[Harpuia 68]

17, kissless virgin, never had a girlfriend. I'm pretty much damned with hideous looks and a shy, awkward personality. 

 

Basically, it really fucking sucks. It's a feeling that most "normal" people or people who are "willingly single" are incapable of even beginning to understand. Imagine having an incurable disease that makes people not want to be with you and pretty much makes you an inferior person in the eyes of most others. Knowing that I'm probably going to die alone for reasons that I don't have any control over is not an easy pill to swallow and it's something I think about almost every day. 

[Pinkamena-Pills 6,839]

First off i am not singling you out,i just feel this needs to be said at this point.

 

 

17, kissless virgin, never had a girlfriend. I'm pretty much damned with hideous looks and a shy, awkward personality. 

 

Basically, it really fucking sucks. It's a feeling that most "normal" people or people who are "willingly single" are incapable of even beginning to understand. Imagine having an incurable disease that makes people not want to be with you and pretty much makes you an inferior person in the eyes of most others. Knowing that I'm probably going to die alone for reasons that I don't have any control over is not an easy pill to swallow and it's something I think about almost every day.

 

Ok,this kind of stuff is something that needs to really stop. 

 

Im starting to see this constantly and what bugs me is that if ones speaks of ones self in such a demeaning manor,how should one expect to find someone who will find them appealing when all they do is beat themselves into the ground?

 

Women do not want to approach a man who is digging his own emotional grave.(most of the time)

 

Men do not want to approach a woman who is digging her own emotional grave.(most of the time)

 

So for all the people out there who are single and desire a partner,male or female: Please please please stop deflating your own confidence balloon because it will not help you.  

 

My apologies if ive offended anyone.

Edited July 5, 2014 by Pinkamena-Pills