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humor What the flying buck just happened? (An Mlp Transformers crossover)


Buck Testa

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The silence was palpable in the wreckage that was Ponyville. Discord had been generous enough to summon up a temporary house for the elements of harmony to sit with their guest. It hovered near the shattered and smouldering crystal palace Twilight had only recently aquired, and it was spacious enough to seat the group of friends and their... guest.

 

The fuming pile of scrap metal that was named Megatron could be seen out the window behind Pinkie and her... friend, still smouldering and glowing with heat from the pink radiated blast that had torched his circuts to the core.

 

The blast that came from the cheerful party pony that was sitting with a beaming grin. The others were visibly on edge and sweating bullets as they all took up their cups of tea. The house was slowly rotating in the air as more alien machines that had been disguised as ponies were shown blown and ripped apart. All of the elements of harmony as well as a great many towns folk, Celestia, Luna, Cadence, even spike had played a role in the robotic carnage strewn about but none more then the Happy go lucky pink mare and the robotic genderbent partner of hers sitting right next to her giving the most content yet evil little grin any of the ponies had ever seen.

 

"So we gonna talk about what the buck just happened or what?" Applejack said breaking the silence. Her leanly muscular body was burned and cut in places from getting struck by metal fists and singed by lazer fire.

 

"What ever do you mean darling..." Rarity said with raising shaky hoof with the tea cup to her lips,trying to seem dainty even though she was as roughed up as the rest of them "... We just averted an alien invasion....and raised our entire town in the process... and my boutique... and my dresses..."

 

Twilight put a hoof on her shoulder "Rarity..."

 

Rainbow Dash got up from her chair for the thousanth time and tried to rush at the seemingly normal colt that bore a great likeness of Pinkie if she were male... and an alien robot on the inside, before being stopped by twilights magic in mid air

 

"LET ME AT EM! WHY ARE WE JUST SITTING HERE WITH AN EVIL ROBOT!?"

 

Pinkie gasped and hugged The pink Stallion in a protective way "Bubble Berry is not evil Dashy! he helped beat the Predacons remember!"

 

Spike walked into the room patting himself all over as he did so "okay... I think I am back to normal now"

 

"we can see that sugercube" Applejack said wryly "seein as your not a towerin giant dragon stompen on robo ponies" Images of Giant roaring spike Socking the dragon robot Megatron in the face and crushing other machines flashed in all their heads

 

"that was kinda fun..." he said sheepishly as he recalled with a whistful expression before snapping back to reality "Um Twilight.... Princess Celestia wants a full report about this.... she doesnt really like using the sun to distroy space ships and she wants to know what your going to do with... um... Bubble Berry..."

 

Twilight who had finally managed to get Rainbow to sit down again nodded at spike "I think we all want to know what happened..."

 

Bubble Berry looked at Pinkie and the rest of them and gave a big toothy grin. It was the kind of grin that sent shivers down a ponies spine as he scooped pinkie in his foreleg and against himself

 

"I am Bubble Berry, formally a member of the Predacons known as Dinobot... and I am a fictional character."

 

Silence was only nullified by Pinkies giggles "You silly goose, your not supposed to say that to third wallers, they get all cunfuddled in the head" she said motioning with her hooves what 'cufuddled' looked like complete with eyeballs rotating in the opposite direction.

 

"Say what now?" Applejack piped up "Ah thought you were some kind of alien robot"

 

"What do you mean.... fictional" Twilight asked with a confused look on her face "you mean like a character from a book?"

 

Bubble Berry and Pinkie Pie laughed in unison. It was bit offputting for the other ponies and the already freaked out Fluttershy made herself even more scarce. She had...gone off the deep end and wrecked through robots after Angel bunny almost got hurt.

 

"Bahahaha... no I wish... no I... we are all characters in one of the most hairbrained idiotic fanfictions ever put down on a message box"

 

"I will have you know I am very much real and my livelihood is very much trashed by you and those ruffians who landed on our peaceful little home! How dare you say I am but some crudely concieved caricature in some half flanked attempt at a story" Rarity raged on.

 

"Oh god the horse puns" Bubble Berry said while face hoofing "not that its much better than what I was before week ago."

 

Pinkie squeed "oh goodie we are going to see the crash landing of Bubbles ship"

 

Twilight raised an eyebrow "Pinkie we saw that a week ago"

 

 

"Well duh! but now we will experience it in the present" The excited mare said with obvious annoyance at Twilight not keeping up

 

"You see this is just a set up to raise interest in the actual story that is both about too happen and already happened" Berry added

 

Silence once again took over the floating building. One of the mangled clumps of metal imbedded in a roof in the distance tried to move but was promptly stopped by a mailmare with a dark raincloud shocking it to stillness with a few well placed lightning bolts.

 

"What?" was the collective response which was met with syncronized laughter of the two Pink ponies.

 

"We are in the past where I first became this form..."

"...and right here talking to you in the future..." Pinkie chimed in

"...at the same time, all the events that took place and about to take place..." Bubble added

"...happened simultaneously" the mare finished with her iconic smile. this demented twin act was getting to the others as they Watched them both saying the same thoughts out of two different mouths.

 

"My brain hurts" Rainbow commented after a moment of silence.

 

"The authors brain hurts too..." Pinkie said pointing up at nothing.

 

"Yeah he also has no concept of grammar and punctuation..."Bubble said in an irked voice. Suddenly is arm was struck in pain from some unknown force

"Hey buck you man!" The pink stallion waved a hoof up at the sky "If you didn't want me critiquing this trash you shouldn't of broke the..."

 

His vocal circuits shorted out, again by some unexplainable phenomenon that had nothing to do with jabs at the humble and not at all easily offended author.

 

"Um if you guys could wait a moment I am going to remind Bubbles about arguing with the writer isn't the best idea... why don't we end the chapter here for now" Said Pinkie looking around the ceiling for any other jabs before whispering to her male counterpart that was raging silently and making obsene jestures at the air above him.

 

The ponies just stared at the pair and wondered if Pinkie had truly lost her mind...

 

End of chap one

Edited by Buck Testa
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