writing Let Us Reach the Clouds

[super*specialSTAR 19]

There are things we can't escape...

 

...Because the universe is forever...

 

As long as the clouds are forever.

 

Let us reach the clouds

And let our triumph live.

Even though it's all fake.

I want to dream again.

 

Though flowers blossom red and black, I will believe and feel something called love.

 

Nothing was in my way.

But, I could still feel tears.

And yet, I could smile.

So, let us reach the clouds.

 

And though silence prevails, a rainbow of emotions stirs, and I feel inscrutable.

 

At a faster pace, I feel hands.

They warmly comfort me.

Though they slow down soon.

I know without a doubt, that-

 

We'll win, so let us reach the clouds.

[Marcato 2,143]

Beautiful! Some of the beats don't match up perfectly, but the words are moving. i'm a poet myself but i never really broadcast it too much.

[Aureity 3,055]

Very nice poem!

 

Nothing was in my way.

But, I could still feel tears.

And yet, I could smile.

So, let us reach the clouds.

 

You just suddenly jump to present tense with that one. I know you're trying to emphasize reaching the clouds, but it sort of interrupted the flow of the poem.